Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

Thick scarf not think scarf. And also @MapleAndCats don’t know where those extra ... came from at the end

@MapleandCats that's good news but as you say, the next question is, so what now? Maybe just more time. It always feels like a constant battle of situation.

@Ells0204 oh god, sorry to hear you are in pain. I'm totally with you on the overthinking. I drink 1 cup of coffee and decide that's it for the month. No sign of AF yet but there's still time. It's just so weird not even having any symptoms of AF. I guess a least it's stopped me symptom spotting as there's been nothing to spot!!! Still joint between that battle of "until AF comes it's still possible" and "don't be stupid, it's not gonna happen, AF will come" and telling myself to just chill the hell out. I have no idea how lol!

@MapleAndCats glad to hear there's nothing obviously wrong although it's frustrating that you don't have answers. Apparently having an HSG can help you conceive so I suggest you make the most of the next couple of months!

Oh @Ells0204 sorry about your back pain. I probably don't need to tell you that a sore back won't stop you getting pregnant... I'm the same though, had one small glass of wine last night and am convinced I've scuppered my chances.

@Otter88 are you resisting resting?

@Ells0204 hope your feeling better soon. Maybe being under the weather is a not well reported pre preg symptom 😳 in which case we are both in with a chance this month (quickly popping out for said lottery ticket for this weekend 😂)
@Otter88 when can you test, your soo strong not to have by now, given the unusual 'lack' of symptoms.

I have found a page that calculates when you can test from based on cycle length and luteal phase. Would seem I have wasted a fortune on tests that , to be frank, there was just as much chance of OH getting a positive result as me. 😂😂 seems for me and my 25 day cycles today is the first day theres a chance with a frer. So guess where I am off to shortly 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (somebody help me.... I am an addict)

Ooo @dottyp0104 report back!

I honestly can't believe the money I have wasted 😳😳

Thanks for your support ladies. Yes my DH even said he wanted it to be that something simple was wrong so we could just fix it. I am just relieved that we now have lots of options before considering IVF.
We plan to make the most of these next three months of increased fertility! Cross everything for me except your Fallopian tubes haha!

Ha ha @MapleAndCats love that!

@dottyp0104 was it not the result you wanted?

@dottyp0104 brb googling “is a bad back a sign of implantation”

(Joking by the way.)

@thechinesechicken actually I think I did need someone to tell me a bad back won’t stop me getting pregnant. Faith = restored

I think I’m 2dpo but not sure. These next 2 weeks are going to be long.

@otter88 any updates? I really hope the witch hasn’t shown up!!

@TheChineseChicken lol, negative frer 🙄 not sure why I bother. Thank goodness I don't drink or smoke 🙈 my new addiction is costing me a fortune. We will see how my lottery ticket on Saturday fairs.
@MapleAndCats fingers crossed for you.

I am almost accepting defeat, think I will be next to delete the tracking apps. 2x MC over the year and no further luck.

So sorry @dottyp0104

@TheChineseChicken thanks, but honestly used to it now. Xx

Ells0204 not yet. Body is messing with me once again!

My friend (my only friend) has just messaged me to say she is pregnant. I feel like crying of course she wasn't even trying.

@Watchingthewheels85 sending you strength! It's so conflicting when friends get pregnant. You want to be happy for them but it's very difficult when you are trying so hard and it happens so easily for others. Be kind to yourself xxx

That's crap @WatchingTheWheels85. Allow yourself to have a moment then dust yourself off and try to forget about it.

@WatchingTheWheels85 it's okay to feel like that. I know exactly how you feel. Brave face but inside you are gutted.

AF turned up last night (2 days early 😣) .... I am officially declaring myself 'not ttc' amd will just see what happens. Way too much pressure and the monthly disappointment is not worth it- even when you expect it. No more planning fertile days ('cause quite clearly they aren't)

Good luck to those still in for this month xx

@dottyp0104 sorry you have had that dreaded disappointment. Taking the pressure off definitely seems like a good idea. The only advice I keep being given is to get drunk, have lots of sex and then forget about it! It's easier said than done though!

It's such a whirlwind!

@WatchingTheWheels85 ahhh. It’s like Sod’s effing law isn’t it. Try to stay strong

@dottyp0104 sorry it’s not happened this month. If you ever find out how to officially “not try” then pls let me know as I would like to stop trying. I vote for deleting the app!

@otter88 oh nooo, have you tested?

My boobs are my early pregnancy test as you all know I’ll have an update around 7dpo! TWW my ass!

No, I haven't tested yet and still no show from AF. I'm losing the plot!

Thanks everyone .

Oh @dottyp0104 no! 

@Otter88 can't believe you're keeping is all in suspense.

5dpo here. Front of my pelvis has been really painful like when I had SPD. So clearly I have been googling pelvic pain at 5do. Give me strength

I've got the fear, that fear of knowing. All the while AF isn't here, I can think it's still possible but doing a test could tell me no then it's over for the month. Not knowing is also agonising so none of this makes sense haha! I will probably test tomorrow morning if no show at all by then.

I understand, it's hard to know that the game's over