Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

Total not today. Ugh. Weekend pls.

Don't give up hope @Ells0204. It took us a year with DD and I have friends who tried longer than that. It can just suddenly happen

Don't give up hope @Ells0204 it took us 3 years to conceive dd, when it finally happened i didn't actually register any change in my temps or anything because I'd been doing it so long and didn't expect to see it 🤦‍♀️

When dh had his swimmers tested he saw our gp, dropped a sample in and had the results within a week or so (I think, it was a while ago!). It was pretty straight forward, he was over the moon he had paid time off to, ahem, produce the sample.

Can I join? 34 onto cycle 5, really finding it hard today because my period was due yesterday and didn't come and still hasn't arrived. I've done 2 tests but both negative I just want the fucker to show up so I can crack on.

Welcome @WatchingTheWheels85 but sorry you find yourself here. it's shit when you just it to show up and get on with it.

@codenameduchess sounds relatively straight forward then! Do you have to drop it off in the morning within a time frame? And does it go back to the Drs or a local hospital?

@Ells0204 -they can last for 5 days apparently! Xx

My DH had to go to hospital to give a sample in a 'Special' room - apparently they're provided with DVD's and mags to help but he said he'd daren't touch any of them knowing what happens in that room (bit of a clean freak!)!!

The fucker has showed up so at least I can focus on what more I can do this month. I swear if it hasn't happened by June I'm buying another cat

@MummyBearBoo oh my god I didn’t even know this sort of stuff existed in hospitals! Yeah I wouldn’t be touching anything too don’t blame him...

@WatchingTheWheels85 glad AF showed up for you, I bought a kitten in August to try and fill the void and help take my mind off TTC. I love him to pieces and can’t imagine my life without him but it’s also made my desire to nurture an actual human stronger, so sort of counteracted that lol

Sitting here sipping a red raspberry leaf tea. I drank about 3-4 cups of this a day on the cycle I caught so hoping it does something this time around again!

Welcome @WatchingTheWheels85. I'm glad AF has turned up so you can get that out of the way.

@Ells0204 what does raspberry leaf tea do?

I'm going to pull out all the stops this cycle. OPKs, preseed and SMEP! God, this is such a bore, isn't it?

@Ells0204 now I'm thinking about it he might have gone to the local hospital. I remember him saying how weird he felt walking down a corridor hugging a jar of jiz because he was told to keep it warm 😂 results just went to the gp though.

@WatchingTheWheels85 how many cats do you have now? I'm all up for getting more but dh says 2 is too many.... I'll get a curly cat one day 🐈

You're all prepped then @TheChineseChicken !! Ive been reading up on SMEP and it's really interesting. Have your started using your OPKs yet?

I was planning on smep this cycle... until I threw my shoulder out Monday lifting dd into bed because she fell asleep on the floor and weighs a ton! I can't put shoes on never mind get amorous 😂 O isn't predicted until cd22 and I'm on cd10 right now so hopefully the delay is negligible.

We were a bit different coz ours was coz we started the PGD process due a genetic condition and didn't realise at that point we'd already conceived naturally - thankfully my DD was not affected by the condition!!

I have 5 cats two are ragdolls, they are like dogs really. The female is still growing and is like a crazy puppy and the male is a lazy fat beastie at 30lbs. When he hears you jingle his harness he comes running though, he loves his walks.

@WatchingTheWheels85 30lbs! Wow that's huge! I thought my chubster was big at 8.5kg. Ragdolls are gorgeous 😍 We have 2 black cats, they barely get off the bed these days unless they hear the fridge open 😂

How is everyone today? Miserable weather, which is a shame. DH has taken DD swimming so I'm enjoying some peace and quiet! SMEP starts tonight and OPKs tomorrow. Anyone else further along in their cycle? Sick of trying now and just what it to be done

it's quite a nice day here @TheChineseChicken we've been swimming and to church... DD has been obsessed with a church in town and really wanted to go.

DD is at grandmas tonight so me and dh are going to see some friends and smep starts now! My OPKs are starting to get darker although still a way off positives it could be as soon as a week or up to 2 before it happens. My cycles are so unpredictable the app I use isn't that accurate with predictions. I'm with you in just wanting it to be done now.

I've signed up to a new gym and will be starting boot camps 3x a week and as many other classes as I can fit in. The chub has to go 💪🏻

Hey @codenameduchess sounds like a lovely Sunday. Hope this evening is fun. It's important to have time as a couple. It's tough having unpredictable cycles. Mine were like that before DD and we just had to DTD a thousand times a month. It wasn't fun in the end Good work with the gym going.

@TheChineseChicken My fertile window starts today still waiting for positive OPK! Xx

I think you, me and @Ells0204 are pretty coordinated.

@detoke did you ever have a scan?

I love the gym now it lets me switch off from everything else, I just focus getting my calorie burn goal! It puts me in s good mood after coz of the endorphins released and it really is the only thing I do for myself as my DD is in pre-school but she's only there twice a week and one of those days I normally do ironing or cleaning so the other day I use to go to the gym!! I've so far lost 1st 6lbs and am now on healthy range BMI and I can wear clothes I've not been able to wear for well over a year and a half!! It good to focus on something else too while ever I'm not pregnant I'm focussing on losing weight!! Xx

@thechinesechicken @codenameduchess
Still here :) yes we must be on similar days I’m CD8 today? OH has Drs later ahh I’m nervous and excited (strange?) at the same time. We BD’d last night so I guess from today he’ll have to abstain before he can do his test? Not great as this is our fertile week plus him going away on Monday...looks like the universe is doing everything in its power to not make this our month
I’m like you @Chinese I just want it to be done now. I want the BFP. I don’t mind waiting for the scans and all the worry. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I just. Want. The. Sodding. BFP. There are what 7 billion people on the planet. That’s 7 billion women who got a BFP and didn’t miscarry. Come on. Us next please.

CD10 for me today! When is your DH's test booked for? It's annoying when things get in the way of DTD during your fertile period. Maybe you could try pre-filling some turkey basters

Yes, lots of people get pregnant easily all the time and I don't understand it. People who have 20 children and those who get pregnant while on the pill. How the hell?

Just had invite to baby shower... 😭 I knew it was coming and that I wouldn't go but it still stings. I know there at least one more coming soon that I'll have to go to.

But, weekend after this one I have a girls day out involving day drinking and an overnight hotel stay that I'm all in for! Trying to focus on the positive things!