Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

Thanks @TheChineseChicken and @flyingplum.
They don't know we're trying but it's still feels tough.
Got to get back on the diet this week as only list 0.3kg last week and focus my time and energy on that

@pinkroseuk @thechinesechicken AF never showed yesterday but I’ll wait for her today. Getting that dull, heavy crampy feeling now so I hope she doesn’t make me wait too much longer! Tbh if it was due yesterday that would mean I O’d on CD15 which would be early for me. Definitely going back to complain about the OPKs and have them send new ones!

The weather 100000% makes everything a little bit better doesn’t it! Even just getting up earlier and being more productive. I’m done with winter!

@Pinkroseuk it sucks doesn't it. I haven't told anyone irl about ttc but it's like a punch to the gut every time someone announces a pregnancy or birth.

Weather has been fab! Is promised dd a trip to a science museum yesterday (weird request from a 3yo but it's what she wanted and loves it) so we only got a couple of hours outside but my god it's much nicer walking the dog when it's not freezing!

Af is done now, I'm going to do bbt as well as OPKs this cycle.

Hi everyone. Having a crap morning here. Went to our regular music class and realised that everyone either has more than one child or is pregnant with their second already. More pregnancies announced this morning and they're all talking about juggling toddlers and newborns.

Then decided to hang up washing in the sun and just as I finished pegging it out the bloody line broke and it all fell on the wet grass! Have to laugh...

The weather is certainly helping :)
Ah sorry @TheChineseChicken but that made me laugh after a very long day!
Hope it got dry in the end!
We're starting to plan some summer holidays which makes things easier as there's something to look forward to :)

Ha ha @Pinkroseuk I imagine my neighbours would have been chuckling if they saw! No idea if it's dry as it's still outside and I can't be bothered to go and get it.

I love planning summer hols

I have just taken some in from the tumble dryer (it's in the garage) that's been in there for 4 days!
Yeah :) we have decided to try and have a weekend away each month to help us relax - so far booked one for May to Milton Keynes are to do national trust properties - £30 for a premier inn so a good deal in our opinion :)

I can recommend Bletchley Park while you're in the area

Thanks @TheChineseChicken :)

@pinkroseuk that’s a really good idea OH and I have been discussing this! A weekend away a month somewhere just to get out be together and do some mooching around. We went to Bath at Christmas and it was so romantic. Shame I’m never ovulating when we do these things...I’m sure that’s how everyone else gets pregnant!

AF showed up thank god. Was worrying I was going to have a wacky cycle but just ovulated a day later I guess.

Since January my partner has been every other week overseas for work and it’s such bad timing they every bloody month we miss O day. We still get the BD in before he goes, but I literally keep ovulating like the day after he goes which doesn’t diminish our chances but I just wish we had those couple of extra days to cover our bases
March cycle will be the same but worse, realistically the last time we’ll BD is CD13 because he leaves on CD14 at like 4am and I’ll O probably again on CD16 and I just feel like it’s cutting it too fine so I’m out already for March stress!!!

^ok reading that back I think I’ve officially lost the plot. Anyone else think TTC has made them slightly nuts? 2 weeks to go and I’ve already planned BD.

@Ells0204 hi, definitely feel your pain, OH works abroad sometimes and think the next two cycles are out for me. Ttc definitely makes you a bit crazy.

@Ells0204 - we have a similar issue. I live in Leeds. OH is in London a lot for work. Combine that will irregularity cycles which are hard to plan for, and we often miss the sweet spot. My app calendar is full of weeks of manic shagging that turn out to be misdirected 😂

Weekends away sound great @Pinkroseuk it's nice having something to look forward to!

I'm having a really shitty day already. Still a while from O, my manager has been a tool and my 'friend' responded to me saying I'm struggling with ttc by telling me how awful being pregnant is (she's 20 weeks) and that I'm lucky i can drink 😡

@codenameduchess that's quite insensitive of her. She may have thought she was trying to help. Ppl just don't think sometimes do they.

guys, do you think I should do a scan?
Basically I've been pregnant 3 times in my life. One successful and the other 2 not. (I knew cos I had cramps with all 3 and missed periods)
With those 2 pregnancies, pregnancy test came out negative, did bloods and the doctors said no chance till I basically had a miscarriage AND ectopic and only cos I started bleeding did they now give me some attention and scanned me.
Period did not come, was due on the 16th, 10 days ago. Im having major cramps that I usually do when im pregnant.
Went to A&E two days ago and the doctor LAUGHED and said there's NO CHANCE and I should look after my remaining ovary :( it made me so sad.
BUT I feel pregnant :/ I know its crazy but I do. :( what do I do? I need a scan :(
advice pls? I really want some good news. I feel crazy!

also, i told her this was the case with the other 2 pregnancies and she laughed even harder (the doctor) and insisted that there's no chance I'm pregnant and the HCG level appears too low

@detoke if you can afford it maybe pay for a private scan? No idea how much that would be or ask to see another dr or lie and say you've had some suspect pain and bleeding. Maybe. Good luck.

@detoke I think a private early scan is around £50-100 depending where you are. You could call up and explain the situation?

@Ells0204 we're all as nuts as each other so don't worry about it! I'll be so glad if/when I finally have DC2 so I won't have to think about TTC ever again.

@codenameduchess that is very insensitive but perhaps it was a misguided attempt to make you feel better? When I told my mum we were trying again she just started telling me about someone she knows who is older than me and got pregnant 3 times without trying. Why is that relevant?! People speak without thinking.

@detoke you could book a private scan if you feel it's necessary - I assume they would let you? Would you be far enough along to see anything if you were pregnant? Sorry you're in limbo at the moment and that the doctor was so unkind.

@flyingplum @orangeloo
Ahh sucks doesn’t it.

@codenameduchess @thechinesechicken I think people’s first response is to overcompensate because they don’t know what it’s like, or what to say. So they either try and downplay their situation or they suddenly become a fertility specialist. After my second MC my own mother said, maybe you should really start preparing for the next pregnancy, you know like taking folic acid? Implying that it was my fault or that that my body wasn’t in its best state. I was on my 3rd pack of pre-conception vits by that point...

@Ells0204 and @TheChineseChicken I know, I guess I expected more from this friend as she's also been through a tough time ttc (and was pretty sensitive to the point I couldn't mention my dd around her because it was upsetting).

I'm 1 day post af and still at least 2 weeks til fertile window... does anyone else feel like we're just waiting around for those few days? I feel like it's hanging over me!

Yes @codenameduchess my life consists of 2-week blocks at the moment

@flyingplum -I'm leeds too!
@Ells0204 if you DTD day before ov this is the important one -we conceived the month we managed to catch this day ( my cycles are irregular this was last cycle ended in CP but still conceived) so if you manage to do it then you should still have a good chance x

@MummyBearBoo we won’t even be able to have sex the day before maybe his swimmers will be super strong and hang around for a couple of days. It’s just like I’ve given up all hope. If it hasn’t happened for a year then why would it happen now?

Speaking of which he’s going for his analysis on Monday! Well he’s going to the appointment he’s booked, don’t think it’ll actually happen on Monday. Does anyone know what we can expect to happen from that point onwards? Is it a fairly quick process or do they long it out?

Today breach of mumsnet - I just said “have sex” instead of “BD” or “DTD” sorry everyone 😂