Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

@TheChineseChicken positive thoughts.... you just never know xx

@dottyp0104 has a good point!!

So, ttc is now messing with parts of life I never even thought about! I want to switch gyms, the one I want is a 12 month contract but I'm thinking well if I get a bfp I won't go so don't want to waste £30 a month but if I don't get a bfp then that's a year I could be working out and getting that bmi down... wishful thinking to not sign up? Maybe if I sign up I'll get a bfp just to mess with me? Haha

@TheChineseChicken

I feel you. I went out and panic-bought a FRER earlier and of course it was stark white negative. 12dpo so that’s me out for sure. Had a whine to my OH and told him it’s never going to happen because it doesn’t happen to people like us and we may as well envisage a life childless.

It’s hard not to freak out and be so dramatic though isn’t it? On to another cycle.

Sign up @codenameduchess! We always say things like that are like lighting a fag at a bus stop - Sod's law the bus will come along! And you can still go to the gym when pregnant 

@Ells0204 these last few days of the TWW are the worst - you keep testing but you know it's pointless and then it's just waiting for AF...

True... not the stuff I like to do so I'd probably not bother 😂 I can't really see myself doing kpopx (like Zumba but to Korean pop) for long haha you're right though, I could tempt fate and sign up, at least I'd be working out again- and I desperately need to!
There's also a sauna and massages at the gym....

@Ells0204 it is hard not to get hopes up then get a little dramatic, especially in those last few days. Let yourself meltdown, take some time for yourself and do something for you- get a massage, a facial or have your nails done, or whatever makes you feel good ready for the next round

@codenameduchess facial sounds like a good idea!

Random thought but anyone else noticed how ICs (although apparently a bit shit with regard to not being as sensitive as they make out) you never ever get massive indents or even evaps with them? Whereas on a FRER you could torture yourself staring at it all day because there’s always a line? I literally threw my FRER in the bin after 3 minutes on the dot yesterday as there was no line but I knew if I didn’t bin it there and then it would be game over for me.

That's true but I still fish ICs out of the bin and inspect them It's a bit tragic really and I wouldn't tell anyone IRL

I'm a member of pure gym there is a sign up fee but its just a rolling contract so if I get a BFP and make it to the second trimester I can just stop paying - see if you can get a membership like that?
I've lost 1st 6lb since November I'm well Inside healthy range BMI now and 4lb off my goal weight!! I started off 10lbs off normal range BMI and was in the over weight section I can fit in my old jeans and the size 14 jeans I had to but no longer stay up without a belt so I feel much better. It's good coz the gym helps me switch off and puts me in a good mood and losing weight gives me something to focus on while waiting for ovulation then 2ww!

Sorry I couldn't read the whole thread op. Just wondered if you used ovulation sticks? I found that my ovulation day wasn't anywhere near day 12 because of using them. Had to buy the fancy clearblue ones each time as the cheap ones always told me I wasn't ovulating. I also mixed up techniques. Some people say have sex every day for 4 days some say every other day for a week etc. Good luck!!

@MummyBearBoo that's really impressive, well done! Great excuse to go and buy new clothes.

@RaspberryBubblegum I haven't used them so far but am going to start next cycle. I wonder if I ovulate later than expected as when I had my CP last cycle we had DTD later.

@MummyBearBoo that's brilliant , well done!! 😀 I'm quite a bit further away from target haha have about 5 stone to go 🙄 my brother goes to a pure gym and it's great, there isn't one near me though. The gym I'm looking at is ladies only and v friendly, I've gone off the current one as a lot of idiot young lads have started going and spend all their time taking selfies 😡

@TheChineseChicken good luck with the OPKs! Have you gone for cheapies or clear blue?

Thanks everyone once I get to my goal weight I'm going shopping I've got quite a lot of birthday money to spend on new clothes!! Xx

@codenameduchess I'm going to get a clearblue kit as I believe you can use FMU for that so it will be easier to use.

Hope you're all having a nice Friday evening

AF arrived at 5.30 this morning (thanks for spoiling my lie in). At least it was on schedule. Not too bothered as have a nice day ahead of me.

Hope everyone has good weekends planned to enjoy the beautiful weather!

@TheChineseChicken at least it was on time, here to next cycle! Enjoy your day 😀

The weather is less than ideal up north! Grey and cold so dd has declared she wants a lazy day at home! Can't really say no- she's had a busy week! We've been to gymnastics already and she's asked to watch frozen and play with the dolls house.

How are you doing today @Ells0204?

@codenameduchess there are worse things than cuddling up watching Frozen. It's supposed to be 15 degrees and sunny here! I heard an ice cream van yesterday, which seemed slightly premature

@TheChineseChicken my weather app says 16 degrees today but it definitely wasn't that when we went out! we're hoping it warms up for a trip to the park 😀

15 degrees here and theres men in shorts 😂 only in the west coast of Scotland.
Onwards and upwards ladies! Heres to the next cycle. Im heading out for early drinks 🍷🍷

Already ordering my second drink!

Hey hey @codenameduchess
All good, plenty of rosé last night and watched Tarzan (the new one!) on Netflix. Went to those new builds today with OH and looked round a couple which were really lovely! Not ready to move until July earliest but we’re first time buyers (currently renting) but nice to just have a look around and see what’s available for when the time comes!

AF due tomorrow I THINK. I got a really shoddy batch of OPKs from amazon and there’s hardly any dye in them so when I used them this month I could just about make out which ones were positive. Emailed them to complain and asked to send a new batch and they said no I must be doing it wrong 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was like erm I’ve been trying for a baby for a year I think I know how to use them.

@thechinesechicken sorry AF came but on to a new cycle on time at least! Might invest in the CBFM too seeing as my OPKs are so dodgy?

Morning - just catching up as had a couple weeks off mumsnet-
Just woken up to the news of some of our best friends are expecting - DH is really pleased and I just want to cry-
Was all ready for a nice day out and now just want to hide on the sofa :/
So will catch up with what's been going on :) xx

Sorry for your baby bomb @pinkroseuk it’s actually the worst isn’t it. I saw an interesting statistic on the Ava website that something like 83% of women have felt stress or depression because of hearing that someone else is pregnant or had a baby.

Well AF hasn’t shown up today yet, which makes me think those shoddy OPKs I got sent made me believe it was positive when maybe it wasn’t and perhaps I ovulated a day later. Woke up with some toe curling cramps this morning so I know for sure she’s on her way!

Thanks @Ells0204 yes it's awful - had a rubbish day - I'm not surprised tbh - just seem to be surrounded by baby things atm and not getting far with weight loss which isn't helping!
Has AF appears today for you?

Hope AF shows up soon @Ells0204 so you can move on to the next cycle. Exciting about the new builds! Buying houses is fun (although stressful).

Sorry about your day @Pinkroseuk. I hope you managed to do something nice.

The sunshine was just amazing today. Really felt like summer. I'm affected by the winter and lack of sunshine so I felt like a new person today.

@Pinkroseuk - ack, I'm sorry. My friend told me she was 13 weeks a few weeks ago. She was really nervous about telling me, bless her, because she knew how long we'd been trying. I was pleased for her, but can't deny I had a little stab of jealousy. Made worse by my own chem a week later. It's really hard - I'm sorry :(