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Conception

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Original poster

Crushing disappointment of TTC

999 replies

TheChineseChicken · 22/12/2018 08:31

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative Sad

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Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 19/02/2019 09:48

Damn your sore boobs!

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codenameduchess · 19/02/2019 11:55

Sorry about the BFNS

AF just showed up.... in a massive meeting and I'm in pale skinny jeans and naice knickers 🤦‍♀️😩

codenameduchess · 19/02/2019 11:58

@Ells0204 at least they're reliable boobs...

Ells0204 · 19/02/2019 14:51

Another shoddy month for us all then.

Just realised next cycle will actually be my 14th month TTC Sad there are people I know who have got pregnant and had their baby in the same time I’ve been trying. SIL’s baby will be due in June and although it’s 4 months away I can just see it creeping up and I bet won’t be pregnant by then. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult. I’m doing everything perfectly. DH has his SA in less than 2 weeks and is stressing because he has convinced himself he’s the problem. Whereas I’ve convinced myself I’m the problem.

Argh. I have good days, ok days and bad days. Today is a bad day.

Sorry everyone.

detoke · 19/02/2019 14:57

Hey! OP I am a mum of a 3.5 yr old and TTC has been one of the hardest.

So today I took a PT and came out negative. Bleh! I am 4 days late so I was excited and assumed.

I have dysmennorhea, period is basically shit!

I have had an ectopic (3 years ago), resulting in a fallopian tube being taken out and a miscarriage (2017). It has been so hard TTC since.

I'm on my 7th cycle. I still have hopes anyway, might crush next month, who knows LOL Wine.

WE WILL BE FINE!!! don't give up.

dottyp0104 · 19/02/2019 15:37

@TheChineseChicken @Ells0204 yip AF here, definately paying me back for wishing it here, but clean slate, heres to the next round.

Hope someone still chance for a positive this month, good luck to those still in. For the rest of us, theres always wine xx

Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 19/02/2019 15:45

I'm starting to think this thread is cursed. detoke run! Save yourself! Sorry, bad joke. Welcome to our group. Sounds like you have been through the mill.

Ells just get through today and hopefully you'll feel more positive tomorrow. Do you have anything planned for the weekend that involves large amounts of wine?

code I hope AF was under control. Bad choice of clothes Grin

dotty onwards and upwards

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LouH1981 · 19/02/2019 16:09

Think today is cursed ladies...went to the loo earlier and had brown discharge when I wiped. Stupid stupid AF.
It’s been almost 14 months for us too. I know how you feel xx

codenameduchess · 19/02/2019 16:43

Welcome @detoke but sorry you're here too, sounds like you've had an awful time. I also have a 3.5yo.

@Ells0204 I think we're all there with you on the good and bad days. Af arriving is always a shitty day for me, it's just me and DD tonight so after ballet we're heading out for cake! My friend has sent me 12 messages about her pregnancy today and I want to cry... I'm happy for her, but I don't need half hourly updates on her need to pee or boob itches.

The worst clothing choice @TheChineseChicken 😂😂 I've been inspired to request a 'red box' for ladies caught out at work. I can't be the only one!

LouH1981 · 19/02/2019 16:47

@codenameduchess cake! 😋 Good call! Enjoy!

dottyp0104 · 19/02/2019 17:36

@codenameduchess what a wardrope nightmare 🤭

Ells0204 · 20/02/2019 10:13

@thechinesechicken
@dottyp0104
@codenameduchess
@LouH1981

After a little cry and a nap yesterday (do I want a baby or am I one?) I felt much better! I just literally have days where I flip between positive energy “it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen and the universe will take care of it” (I’m a bit of a hippy!) and “oh my god I’m infertile why does it happen to everyone else not me”

Just realised as well I referred to OH as DH in my last post, definitely not married. And I only type SIL because I can’t be arsed to type “my partner’s bother’s wife” every time I mention her. Which is a lot.

Speaking of OH we are going to view some show homes this weekend which I am super excited about!

Seeing as we’re the AF gang has anyone else got any nice plans to take their mind off it?

Ells0204 · 20/02/2019 10:17

Also...I ended up having cake last night too! Nipped out to the shop and thought oooh you know what I really feel like! You lot were in my subconscious 😂

MummyBearBoo · 20/02/2019 11:08

My AF finished on Monday this was after my CP so my period was 5 days late so will start OPKs next week i probably won't ovulate til CD25/26 this will be cycle #4 for baby #2! Good luck everyone still in this month!

Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 20/02/2019 12:28

Glad you're feeling more positive Ells and very exciting about house viewing! Sounds great fun.

I sadly didn't have cake last night Sad

Good luck to you as well Mummy!

This weekend PILs are having DD so DH and I have a night booked in a hotel and loads of fun activities and dinner planned. At least my consolation for not being pregnant will be lots of yummy cocktails. I can't wait!

I'm going to track ovulation next cycle so I'll invest in CB OPKs.

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LouH1981 · 20/02/2019 14:30

When we’d arrived home from our little break, I was pooped. AF turned up in full swing, put DS to bed then promptly fell asleep so no cake due me.
But, 6 pk of doughnuts in the car for later so diet to lower BMI for next cycle can start tomorrow 😉
Thank you for all your support lovely ladies xxx

dottyp0104 · 20/02/2019 15:00

@Ells0204 Wine!!! And lots of it this week 😂 cake sounds good too, may need it.

Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 21/02/2019 08:51

BFN again today. Feeling a bit panicky and miserable about it all. I keep half thinking that it will happen next month then thinking that it might never happen. Human biology sucks

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Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 21/02/2019 09:01

And just had a reminder from my cycle tracking app that my next cycle is about to begin. Hurrah!

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codenameduchess · 21/02/2019 09:30

ah @TheChineseChicken that's rubbish, sorry you've had bfn.

It will happen for us all, but it doesn't make it any less crappy now does it?

dottyp0104 · 21/02/2019 10:39

@TheChineseChicken sorry its not good news. Hope next cycle better for everyone xx

MummyBearBoo · 21/02/2019 10:56

@TheChineseChicken sorry you've had a BFN xx

Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 21/02/2019 11:15

Thanks ladies, it's not so surprising since AF is due Saturday

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dottyp0104 · 21/02/2019 16:23

@TheChineseChicken .... so, if I have read this right, your still in! Until AF appears

Original poster
TheChineseChicken · 21/02/2019 16:54

Well technically, yes

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