TTC FIRST BABY - THREAD NO. 9

[stormtrooperjulian]

We’re almost at the limit on thread no.8 so I thought I’d start a new one before that one fills up

@cupcakesandglitter @MrsEG @Delilah7 @crossfitgirl @DayDreamer1707 @FlapJackered @sunshine1987 @FivexFive @GemmaJen @daisiesandpeonies @KatBeCool

Sorry to anyone I’ve missed 😘

Hi everyone! Had a little break from the ttc madness and feel mucchhhhh better!
Not bothering with opks and just temping this month, screwing the diet and fully embracing mulled wine and gin! 🍷 i think this month is going to be my break from it all and then will get back on ttc strategy in 2019! 😂
How is everyone else getting on?

@KatBeCool I'm sorry about af and that you're having a tough time ❤️ I know exactly how you're feeling.
That's great you have got the hsg booked, hopefully that will shine some light if there are any issues. I can't remember if you said you had had all the blood tests etc done?

@KatBeCool sorry to hear that. I really, really struggled with the concept of not being pregnant by Christmas too, if it's any consolation. I didn't realise quite how much I had assumed it as a deadline! Be kind to yourself over the next few days. And allow yourself to feel crap. That's my best advice, at least.

@GemmaJen I think it's totally normal to be both happy for your sister, but sad you're not there too. It seems like a lot of us - perhaps subconsciously - picked Christmas as a sort of deadline! I know I found this AF the most crushing. I actually burst into tears.

@FlapJackered love that approach! I'm not bothering to eat perfectly or cut out drink, but I will be using OPKs. As I only started last month I find them quite a novelty still!

Hey @FlapJackered good to see you back 😊 I'm with you, not doing anything and drinking/eating to my hearts content 😂😂 I'll be back on it after New Years I think x

Sorry to hear that @KatBeCool please don't be too hard on yourself ❤️ Like @purplefig I really struggled too - my anxiety was through the roof, feeling like a countdown till Christmas was coming and then that's it... it's important to take care of ourselves and remember that it will happen when it's supposed to, we have to look after our physical and mental health too xx

Have had a progressively worse back ache all day, not sure if AF or something else. I'm going crazy here!

@FlapJackered Bloods and SA are done, all normal. Thyroids are fixed now. I know I ovulate and hormones are clearly there as I can tell the difference in how I feel after the ovulation, plus the temps don't lie. Ugh. I'm debating to just forget opks and temping this month, and just go by ewcm. And there's definitely going to be a large chocolate martini in my nearest future (tonight).

@cupcakesandglitter @purplefig it wasn't a necessarily a deadline. We're going to SIL house for Christmas, and she's pregnant. She didn't want kids, wasn't trying, and she is a horrible person, so seeing her all happy and glowing will be hard. Told DH that I'm not going. She can't cook anyway.

@KatBeCool I didn't mean a deadline as in 'that's it then!'. In my case, it was more I subconsciously expected to be pregnant by Christmas, so this month was especially hard. And realising that was useful, as I've been able to be extra nice to myself the last few days, allow myself to wallow and then pick myself back up.

It's good your bloods and SA are all normal and thyroids fixed. How long have you been trying? Deffo get that large chocolate martini!

@KatBeCool if it'll be too much seeing her I wouldn't go either tbh, I'd say you're unwell or something

@KatBeCool I keep doing the same. DH birthday = deadline. Christmas = deadline. I dunno if it's just a woman thing but I love to imagine these almost movie like scenarios and then when it doesn't happen it makes it all a hundred times worse.
That really made me laugh about your SIL - she can't cook anyway. I know the feeling I have a similar situation except luckily my brother in law is now not with her anymore but she falls pg with a drop of a hat and doesn't even want to.

@PaintingOwls it's a real fucker, isn't it? You need something to distract you!

purplefig

Indeed I do, and I'm at the worst possible place for distraction - work!

There's a boots outside the office, shall I stop by on my way home and get a frer? ICs have been BFNs 3 days in a row now. If nothing else I'd just like to take paracetamol for my backpain!

@PaintingOwls how many dpo are you? I'd say wait until 14 and test. I thought you could take paracetamol in 2WW?!

@KatBeCool a chocolate martini! what in God's name is that and how can I make one?!??! 😂
Honestly I would seriously recommend taking a step back if you're finding it tough. I have decided to and only temping (but not worrying about the time i temp) and I am feeling so much more relaxed. That may change when I get into the tww but trying to just see this month as a break. It might help?
I know at 40 you may be feeling the pressure more but try not to worry too much about your age, so many people are having babies well into their 40s now (and even 50s) if you're ovulating and tests are coming back clear you're in a good position! We WILL get our bfps soon! X

@cupcakesandglitter @purplefig Yes!!! It's a good plan isn't it! 🎄 🍸 🍷 🍫

purplefig bang on 14 DPO today

After the disappointment of not conceiving this month I've done a bit of reading around and I'm feeling much better. I have around a 33% chance of conceiving if I have sex 1 or 2 days before ovulation. Well so far, I have only managed that once! So the odds have not been in my favour and it's hardly surprisingly I'm not pregnant for Christmas. So I've decided I'm going to just keep on at it but chill the fuck out and adopt a @FlapJackered approach while I go.

I imagine the stress of it all can't be great . And even if it doesn't impact anything fertility wise, it's not pleasant to live with. So I hereby declare this cycle my self-care cycle!! Who's with me? What are you doing to do to look after yourself? I'm going to take lots of long baths, try and have a smoothie or soup every day, splurge on a new serum I've been reading about and sort my savings account out (because not all self care is sexy).

@PaintingOwls if I were you I'd probably test tomorrow morning! Let us know what you decide to do lovely.

purplefig sigh. You're probably right. Although FF says to test on Saturday, at which point I'll be 19DPO. Waiting that long would be madness, right?

@PaintingOwls when I was considering testing a few pages back, I was going to hold out to 18dpo as that was when AF was due (lol, she turned up a week early. Yay coming off of BC). ANYWAY. Someone said that it's more important to go with dpo (i.e. wait for 14dpo) than AF date as that varies. They linked to this, which I thought was very good: www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=18

Oh god yes @FlapJackered me and DH haven't had sex this good since we got married! I think no pressure is fantastic, DH has initiated every time and we've actually had a lovely start to December so far. Cheese and wine night for me tomorrow 😁😁 fat slab of chocolate tonight 😁 are you feeling a lot more relaxed too? Xx

@purplefig I honestly think it's the stressing!! Don't forget @Crossfitgirl (how are you btw!!!) only DTD once and thought she'd missed ov but actually got her BFP last month... I think it's the worrying about it that just makes more it horrid and disappointing x

@cupcakesandglitter yes I totally agree with you. Going to have an easy breezy month. There! It's decided!!! Luckily Dec is quite a busy month and naturally full of distractions anyway. Glad you're having some good sex too...TTC is currently....er....very functional in this household!

@FlapJackered there are many recipes for the chocolate martini, I've made up my own and DH and I love it. Can't believe I'm talking about this on the conception forum, but honestly, it's a highlight of my day, since AF is in the full swing. So here it goes:
Chocolate Martini

1 shot Chocolate Liqueur
3/4 shot Vodka
1/4 shot Hazelnut Liqueur
1 shot double cream

Shake with ice, pour in martini glass, and finely shave (lots of) chocolate over the top as it's the best part.

@Katbecool sounds delicious! Sorry to hear about your disappointment today. The others are right, take it easy on yourself.

I’d actually been wondering how many others on here were 35+? I know they have a separate thread but I found this one first and devoted more time to lurking here!

My strange spotting has come and gone again over the weekend. Nothing Friday, back a tiny bit Saturday, nothing yesterday, thought I’d period cramps this morning but still nada. I’m CD 21 so one week early anyway, but I’m so confused! Doesn’t help that DH has been remarkably frisky all weekend and I have been keeping him at arms length til I figure out what is going on. Well, nothing it seems, so I’ll need to make up for it tonight! 😂

@Scotslass55 I've seen other threads for 35+ and, honestly, I don't think I can handle them. They're far too serious, talk mainly about ttc, and rarely relax because the clock is ticking. Obviously, my clock is pounding, but I'd go mad if I had to be constantly reminded of it. So I found my "home" thread here.

Cycle 6 day 2.

Surgery will be early February.

Coping, but anxious

@Katbecool fuck me, that sounds good. Load 'em up? Think quite a few of us on here could do with one (or three)

@Scotslass55 I get the impression it's quite a mixed bag of ages on here? I'm 27. Not sure if you've read 'The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant' but she says that the whole fertility falling off a cliff after 35 rhetoric is pretty misleading.

@ValidUser I'm glad you're coping, at least you have a date now. Natural to be anxious though. You taking care of yourself? What is the plan pre-Feb, carry on as per?