Over 40 ttc - winter baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Here's our new thread ladies.

Thanks ladies :) xxx

@BooseysMom here's my evening 10-11dpo one :)

@Kintan...hello and a warm welcome. Sorry to hear about your mc. I'm also ttc no.2. Had DS at 41. Def don't be put off by what they say about age. I had 2 mcs before DS who was 3rd time lucky. I followed my mum's pattern as she also had 2 before conceiving.
Good luck xx

@CookieWaffle...ah that's a corker!! 😁 Thanks for posting and very best wishes to you xx

Congratulations cookie
One small request ladies..... whoever gets a bfp.... please share what did you do differently in the bfp cycle

Hello ladies,

Am new here and new to mumsnet too. Just feel that this might be easier with friends who are going through it too ... hard to talk to anyone about it except my man. I am 44 (gulp!) and finally met someone really special last year. He is 30 (another gulp!). I have another child (boy aged 15) which was a (very lovely) accident but with someone I had only just been dating and we didn't last, although I did try for a bit, I knew I didn't love him.

The man I do love and I have been ttc for 6 months. This is one of the hardest things to cope with mentally ... the hope and the anguish! Drama! I am laughing at myself now. Anyway am trying with all I've got and hoping for baby dust for us all :)

I have just spent too long on the internet trying to sort out what days I should be doing the dancing on! Lol! Basics still may not be right! I am shocked at how little I know about it really. Have just started taking temperature and trying to make sense of my cycle but not getting very far and just getting confused and emotional. The temperature thing is confusing the heck out of me. Is anyone else charting and has found it useful? If so how long were you charting for before it made any sense? Maybe it is because it is numbers and I have never been good at those!

I am hoping you are all having a warm and happy day. Big showers of baby dust to you all.

Ladies do you use vit D 1000 or 3000?

@cookiewaffle that picture has made me smile. Made my day. I already feel more positive being here than alone on the sofa stressing out :) Congratulations xxx

Welcome kahfen and other newbies..... you are at the right place....

Cookie - thats a great line!

Orchid - mine is 1000

Evug - great idea, will be interested to hear!

Kahfen - I temped for a while, it took a month or 2 to figure out what to look for & expect. Unfortunately I found it too stressful after a while as I would wake up at silly hours wondering if it was time to temp yet, and if it wasn't then I'd screwed it up as I was awake with an hour or 2 left until temp time but you need 4 hour solid sleep to make it acurate! Then I'd temp anyway, think it lookef wrong so fo it again 5 minutes later, get a completely different result and then not know which one to use, so chose my favourite. Then I found myself manipulating the results which became pointless. So I invested in an ava bracelet, which you wear overnight and in the morning - ping - there is the daily temp. Plus rpr, hr, sleep pattern etc, so its great, and seeing the REAL temps, I can now read where my cycle is with ovulation etc. So temping is great, but it needs to be done right to be accurate, and thats blooming hard.

I am on ... a shelf full of supplements!! Ubiquinol, multi-vit, folate, vit E, vit B6, Omega3 (vegan type), dhea, and just added B12 because it was on offer! and it said it helped with energy. I have quite a random approach. I think I will look into vit D spray though as yes it is winter and so lack on sunshine ... plus ... I haven't been to Holland and B yet this week :D

@cleozeta thanks so much. That is useful to hear. I am with you on the accuracy thing ... I am taking it at the same time but three times, then going with a mean of the three results. Only been second month doing it but like you it is causing me to worry about what is happening and how to get the timing right. Plus I am also tempted to take the highest of the three results when I know it should be higher! Lol! A scientist I am not! I might have to hand over the data to my man (who is a scientist!). But the bracelet looks interesting though, thanks for the tip :) I hope you are having a good day. Warm thoughts to you :)

I think for genuine accuracy we need to stick with the first temp taken weather we like the look of it or not! But its just too tempting to change it when you know that 30 seconds later it'll be completely different. I even thought my thermomiter was broke at one point as it wasn't telling me what I wanted! Ha
Liking your suppliments list by the way, very similar to mine!

Hi all, found the new thread (finally!) :)
Welcome to all new ones, and congrats Booseysmum!!!

I'm dpo1 here, once again...But my DH , who was never really as bothered about ttc as me, has unfortunately changed his mind and feels we would be better off with just the current children :( he thinks life would be too hard with a baby (4th child to be fair) so he no longer wants to try... :( :(
I'm gutted but I cannot persuade him, and it feels wrong if he is not fully on board.. so I guess I have to give myself a talking and settle for what I have. I know I'm very very lucky to have 3 healthy DC already... I know I'm greedy but I am so aching for the last 4th one!
I will take some distance from here for now as it is painful reading about the subject atm... best of luck to all of you, don't give up hope! Xx

@BooseysMom thank you and so sorry to hear you've had to go through two miscarriages x
@KahFen I've been temping for a few months and I feel it helps me to know that I am ovulating and it's become a bit of a habit that I do as soon as I wake up. I use the Fertility Friend app. x
@Cleozeta Ooh that bracelet sounds great! I'm off to google it :) x

@Cleozeta that is funny :) I can imagine me doing that and blaming the thermometer. My supplements are many and hopefully mighty!

Something I heard today which helped ... 'worry is meditiating on the negative' This made me think that really ... if I wanted to meditate on anything and spend time in that way I would be better off meditating on the positive and therefore not worrying. Going to write this one down in my book of good thoughts :)

@Kintan ... yes ... good to know it is useful for you too ... I will stick with it. That is what we ladies do here is it not? Stick with it. Don't give up. One step at a time. Much love

@Ameliel I’m so sorry to hear that, I’m in a bit of a similar position in that it took me ages (time that we didn’t have) to convince DH to try for no 3, he finally agreed in the summer to try for 6 months. Post mc I still haven’t dared bring up the subject of trying again. But I have a feeling he might give it one more go.
I feel so selfish knowing that I have 2 perfectly healthy beautiful boys, but this whole thing is getting me down so much. I was so excited for a few days in October until I realised my pregnancy just didn’t feel right.
I’m so sorry everyone for being a bit of a misery at the moment.
Maybe I should walk away.... or maybe I should do ivf with embryo testing... or maybe we should just ttc for another few months. I am jumping all over the shop. Sorry xxx

Rose - the embryo testing is one of the reasons I'm considering IVF. Within our age group it apparently raises our chances massively, as one of the main problems we have is egg quality, and a normal IVF procedure could potentially select a dodge embryo because it looks the best, but only the testing at that stage can select a genuinly viable embyo. Within our age group the percentage of bad ones is quiye large which would result in potentially avoidable failed IVF cycles.

Ameliel - sorry to hear your DH is no longer on board with ttc

@CookieWaffle massive congratulations! Everything crossed for you!!
@Presh12345 , I'm on Gonal F for 5 days now, went for my first scan yesterday, 7 follicles in total and all 9mm. My doctor told me to increase the dosage by 25. So now is 275. Next scan tomorrow and last on Friday and I'm flying home on Saturday with a potential trigger on Sunday and egg collection on Tuesday.
How many follicles have you got?
I was a bit disappointed with my number but my doctor reassured it was fine. As it's not about the quantity but quality of the egg! Well, let's just hope all supplements including DHEA, I've been taking for months, do their magic!

@Cleozeta hoping and praying all follicles will have an egg and eventually some embryos to freeze. Won't be doing embryo testing now but if some are frozen then for the next cycle if this one fails

Thanks ladies :) I'm quite proud of that line! I still keep thinking AF is gonna turn up, then I start feeling sick and get a little reassured.

Here's my chart if it helps. Really didn't do much different. Timed as usual (bit of an effort for us both actually). We used preseed for the first 2 then just relied on EWCM for the third. Not sure which worked but everytime I've used preseed I've had a line (even if 2 were CPs).

Cleo - at the open evening we went to, they said embryo testing wasn’t always appropriate. For example if there were only a couple of embryo’s reaching day whatever there is no point testing them as they would both be transferred anyway. Also testing comes with risks of damage to the embryo. And I’m guessing for our age group there probably wouldn’t be many embryos that reach that stage. It’s all so bloody hard. Please excuse my language. xxx

@Russ he said he could only see 3 on one side. Couldn't even find the other ovary. It wasn't my usual fertility doc. Was his colleague and I have to say I wasn't impressed at all. Was on Gonal for 5 days. Follicles were all about 7.5 so he upped dose from 100 to 150 for 4 more days. Scan Thursday to see what's happening. Hopefully iui beginning of week. So scared they are all fked and old.

Congrats @cookiewaffle! Looking good this time 😊

Good luck @Orchid222, @Presh12345 and @Russkispy - it’s all going on now - so exciting!

I just wanted to say to those considering embryo testing - do your research - it’s extremely expensive and there is a lot of evidence out there questioning it’s usefulness at the moment. Basically women of our age are very unlikely to create embryos which will come back as normal, however this really doesn’t matter as something like 40% of successful IVF pregnancies are from abnormal embryos. The test only picks up a tiny sample of cells from the outside layer of the embryo, and if you look up the mosaic effect you will see that that outside layer is made up of a patchwork of normal and abnormal cells, so it’s entirely luck as to where the test picks up the cells from. It’s been proven that embryos are perfectly capable of repairing a certain amount of abnormal cells and many successful pregnancies happen from so called abnormal embryos. There are a lot of doctors out there who don’t advocate PGS testing anymore because of this - it’s been estimated that literally hundreds of thousands of perfectly viable embryos have been discarded, and thousands of women told they have no chance at conception because of this flawed test.

Also as Rose says, there is a risk of real damage to an otherwise healthy embryo.