Over 40 ttc - winter baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Here's our new thread ladies.

Thank you mimosa. Hope you are doing ok. I feel the same about my cycles as the moment, just grateful for each and every ovulation! Currently cd13 and hoping to ovulate soon, but this time of the cycle always gives me the collywobbles. I love the 2ww as at least at that stage ov has happened and I've done all I can. TCM is great too, still loving that.

Cookie - I'd have punched that manager on the nose! How rude! He doesn't know what she might be going through, what an arse.

Russ - sounds great! I have high hopes for you!

@Russkispy yay! Go go little embie!

Just hanging about in limbo here...no symptoms beside breathlessness and being very tired. I had bag loads of symptoms for the 2 mmc and the successful pregnancy so no idea what's going on this time 🤔

I might give the gp a call later next week and see if I can get an early scan just to put me out of my misery...

Hope everyone has a nice day xx

@karryk thank you for your message. I've got GP in half an hour but I know its going to be pointless. Feel so low. I hope you can get an early scan; if not they do them near me privately for £50 so it may be worth investing?

@wishingonastar77 so sorry to hear your news. Hugs

@cleozeta fingers crossed for ov

Russ - that’s great news! Come on little embryo💪🏼

Karry and Why - good luck ladies.

Cleo - thanks. Hope ovulation hits soon for you. How often are you having the acupuncture now? How many cups of the yummy tea do you drink in a day? I’ve been going weekly but I think I’m going to change to fortnightly as it’s an expensive passtime.

I started going every 2 weeks, but since my chemical TCM guy has wanted to see me every 10 days to change the perscription. I get to enjoy 2 cups of yummy tea a day.

So every 10 days currently costs about £80 a pop

Thanks again everyone for the welcome and positive comments. I've read forums since I started TTC #1, 6+ years ago, but only just now realised how helpful it is to actually join the conversation and share experiences. Reading back through the thread I am inspired by such a supportive, resilient and knowledgable group of women.
I'm going to read up over the coming weeks about what I can do to boost my chances/egg quality etc, and see when my cycle returns.

I wish I'd known that the risk of MMC was not as low as I'd thought (@Cleozeta I'd also read the 1% stat online ... I can't remember if it was 1% of MC or 1% of pregnancies, but either way I felt like it was a small risk). Not that it would have changed the outcome, but I would have been more prepared for the possibility.
@Floofsquidge I was also checking my MC risk on datayze.com all the time and thought I'd made it to about 2% risk.

I don't think reading mc stats is helpful anyway, as for starters I think they are mostly wrong, and also it varies person by person, plus stress can raise risk of mc and reading about mc can raise stress! I did too much of this before my mmc and now regret it. Next time (if I am lucky enough to get another bfp) I will run with the fact that I am pg and just bloody enjoy it. I've learnt that by not connecting to the pregnancy until a certain stage to protect yourself for emotional trauma if it fails, makes no difference at all.

I've just left the GPs. Good job I went. I've got dangerously low vitamin b12 levels and have had since at least July when I had my over 40 health check. Apparently they prescribed an urgent course of injections but no one rang me to tell me.. No wonder I feel like shit. It can also cause temporary infertility. I'm so cross.

It was a really frustrating appointment at first. He told me that women can still have children at 50 and that I should come back after a year and a half of TTC!! I challenged him and so he read through my notes and said well the B12 deficiency may have impacted but now that's sorted you should be OK... I was like, what B12 deficiency? He said, you had the injections in August. A prescription was done for you! Erm no?

At this point he suddenly couldn't do enough for me and is doing a full set of bloods including FSH, LH and oestrogen.

Why - wow thats a screw up then. Glad its something 'fixable' though looking on the plus side. And someone's going to get in trouble for that administrative error I bet.
At least they are able to help you now, fingers crossed this sets you back up to normal.

@whyhaveidonethis Goodness...that's just maddening!! Fingers crossed that you're on your way to full health now - scary how things just fall through the net...what if you hadn't gone?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ he sounds wildly out of touch - from around 37 I was told by various doctors at various appointments to seek further advice if I didn't conceive within 6 months of trying.

Glad you did go though lots of luck and baby dust ✨

@cookiewaffle thank you.. I paid privately for a scan because of my previous MC. Last 2 pregnancies that went to 10 weeks we could see a HB at 6 weeks.

I've not even been called back by the RMC today when I mentioned a possible eptopic. They can't be that bothered and guessing I'll have to wait out until they scan me next week.. hoping I naturally MC before then tho..

@cleozeta thank you, I had been told now I'm at no.5 I can have karyotyping tests. We are also considering paying privately for the NK cells test but it's rare and controversial.

Everyone else thanks for your kind words too.. hoping this gets sorted and cleared before Xmas at least I can relax a little xx

@KahFen.. thank you for that encouraging Xmas msg

Cleo..I did wonder at the time about how much the gp actually knew. He was quite young and maybe just wanted to be nice!

You wrote..
"I've learnt that by not connecting to the pregnancy until a certain stage to protect yourself for emotional trauma if it fails, makes no difference at all"
That's a very good point and it worked for me purely by accident as I didn't even know I was preg until 12 weeks were up!! I had light bleeds which were late every time and put it down to changing hormones with age. All along it was DS! So when we found out for sure we had to look back over the 3 months we'd missed to see what had happened with the bean to that point and not knowing took away all the worry! I never tested from the start..although I have used them for ttc no.2

Oh dear, I just typed out a really long message and then my iPad ran out of power and I lost it all 😭 will try again....

I think I have got a little behind in the last day or so!

@Wishingonastar I’m so so sorry, having just been through it myself I know how much it hurts. I suspect the weak urine was responsible for the 2-3 weeks, I did something similar, but then I mc’d too, so who knows. I don’t understand why they can’t rule out ectopic if they have seen where the sac is? I really hope you get some answers this time.

@KahFen What a lovely message! I also had tears in my eyes reading it. I would love to be pregnant for Christmas, but I know it’s very unlikely and probably not sensible either. That’s doesn’t seem to be stopping me from trying though.

@Realitysucks will you qualify for fertility treatment on the nhs if you already have a son? Trouble is nhs can take ages I think, time we don’t have.

@Littlemimosa sorry about AF, it sucks doesn’t it.

@Cleozeta I suspect your middle test wasn’t so accurate as the other 2 are very similar. I think I remember you saying it was done on a slightly later day? Maybe that affected the results?

@Cookiewaffle I would have given that guy a slap even if he was my manager! How rude!

@Russkispy that’s fab news! Keeping everything crossed for you and your little embie!

@Karryk it’s definitely worth trying to get an early scan if you can, how many weeks are you? If you can’t get one on the nhs you can always pay for a private one.

@Littlemimosa I have been having acupuncture weekly, but at £45 a session it’s not cheap. I have considered fortnightly, but I did conceive on only my second month of acupuncture and the first month I had only had one session before ovulation. So maybe it is worth it.

@WhyhaveIdonethis That is terrible about the vitamin B12, from the positive side at least it might help sort things out for you a bit. On the nnegative, wow what a wasted few months! I think I would be seriously pissed off.

As for me... I have had EWCM since Sunday, no real ovulation pains yet but my tummy is sore and bloated. DH is out tonight on a big Xmas piss up, and he is ill, so not sure he really wants me jumping on him when he gets home! I am thinking now is the right time but I’m guessing it’s not a great idea to try this month anyway... at least it looks like my cycle is coming back quickly I guess.

Right.... now to post before I lose it all again.....

@rose68 no nhs for me. We went private straight away and no point in even trying on nhs. What I’m considering is paying privately for obstetrician and through pregnancy for midwife, if I am lucky enough for it to work. Everyone I’ve spoken to after ivf say that nhs just treat you as non priority and you have to jump up and down explaining its an ivf baby 👶

@Cleozeta sorry about the due date, a fb friend had a little one on what would have been a due date, so get constant reminders as hers reaches milestones.. enjoy that wine.
@Rose68 do you have heating and hot water yet?
@minime2017 🤞 for a bfp
@WishingonaStar77 I'm so sorry for your news... sending big hugs and hopefully it's not an EP... and nature steps in 5 is quite a lot though can your gp investigate ?
@CookieWaffle yes that menopause comment deserves a slap... how rude!!

My gp has a similar relaxed attitude as yours @whyhaveidonethis.. tells me to relax, but can't help thinking she has a point. And 50!! Fab

@mahotsukai and @KahFen these are an amazing "Mumsnet family" of ladies... I'm not sure I would be feeling quite so positive and supported over this last 11 months without them.. 💕
Hope I haven't missed anyone out.. buckets of baby dust to all... day 2 of af and bluhhhhhhhhh

@Realitysucks thank you for explaining, that makes much more sense now. I’m guessing the nhs would treat you the same as everyone else, unless there was a reason not to.

@Chatbash72 thank you for thinking of my lack of heating and hot water! Yes it was fixed yesterday, so normal order has been restored.

I don't do roughing it, well not for more than a couple of days.. well yes in my 20's... need my creature comforts

Well that was not such a restful day off as I had hoped ... but I did the finances and (gulp!) Christmas budget ... I really needed to do that before I spend too much. At least now when I spend too much I will know exactly what the too much is! :) Aside from Christmas budget and work am just waiting for AF. Due Wednesday, roughly.

@Cleozeta - you are so right. I read somewhere something that helped. It was that trying not to feel things. although we do it to try to prevent too much hope or disappointment or pain, just stops us from feeling - and feeling, grieving, heartbreaking ... that is being alive. We are trying to create life and hang on to life so perhaps trying to stop ourselves from feeling it is not all that helpful. I liked it when I read this. I had just spent a month trying not to feel anything and just feel numb so I would be less upset with the AF but that was the worst month I have had yet. I think we have to feel things ... even if it is pain we are feeling. Just try to let it pass through and pass through until it lessens and we can go on.

@Wishingonastar77 - such a huge hug to you. Haven't worked out how to send flowers on here yet but I would send them, and a bear to cuddle. I am hoping things move on in some way for you so you can rest and grieve properly. It must be really difficult when you are waiting for any one of a number of really tough outcomes. Much love.

@Russkispy - lovely news. Keeping all fingers crossed for more division. More and more and more!! :) Not of the maths lesson kind either ... I hated that kind. Hang on to the hope. Hope is good.

Going to post this, then do more as I have a habit of losing long messages :)

Damn. I did not realise if you look back at old page of thread you lose your message. Doh. Will have to do smaller ones so that doesn't happen often :)

@Rose68 - glad your heating and hot water are sorted and that you have some good Ovulation signs. That is encouraging :) Xmas piss up and ill doesn't sound promising ... but maybe you are right to wait a bit ... just listen to yourself and go with whatever you feel you need. Thanks for your kind words. Much love xxxx

@whydidIdothis - crikey! You must have been fuming and confused and relieved in equal measure. Just as well you went. I am glad they are now trying to make amends and send you for some decent tests. I hope they help. More knowledge is a good thing. Hope the b12 helps you start to feel better. Good on you for going and beating the 'waste of time' feeling. I know that feeling well.

I have only been once to GP last year and it went very badly. She was super nasty and made me cry a lot. It was truly horrible. I haven't been back since. Being told I am waste of NHS resources at my age trying to get pregnant doesn't really help. Ha! I was 43 when I went to see her and I am nearly 45 now. Don't really fancy my chances at not being laughed at ... but reading the good doctor stories on here is helping me feel a bit more positive ... thanks for those. Maybe I will go back and get a Greek God. Doctor Adonis for me!!!

Have many more people to write to ... but also need sleep. Sleep tends to win out these days ... rock and roll!! I will be back. Happy Friday to all.

quickly though @littlemimosa and all who advised on vits and sperm speed (great combination of questions lol!) ... thank you so much. I have ordered my latest ubiquinol from ebay and have saved £20! This is great as have been going slowly bankrupt with the vit costs. It is really good to know that I may have an outside chance this month as sperm can live longer than I thought ... if the conditions are right ... and I am pretending they are for now. On that pleasant note I shall bid you all good night :) Much love and good sleep to anyone who needs it xxxxxx

Russkispy- so excited for you! Really hoping.

Sorry for everyone whose quest feels like it is currently going nowhere. We will get more BFPs!

Hi, I’m new to this. Perhaps I should start by introducing myself. I’m 41 and have two boys aged 16 and 14. Always would have liked a bigger family (and maybe even a girl?) and have recently managed to convince dh that it’s a good idea. Lmp was sept and, until Monday, I thought I was well on the way through the first trimester. Two weeks ago I had some light spotting which became similar to a light period. Went to EPAU and scan revealed a foetus with a heartbeat measuring about right for my dates. Went home for bleeding to get much heavier with contraction-like cramping. Sat in a &e for 4 hours to get an appt at EPAU next day. They wouldn’t do another scan because “they didn’t think it would tell them anything different” and instead did an internal examination which was quite traumatic as my cervix was very posterior apparently. They didn’t think my cervix was open so sent me home to rest and await my dating scan at approximately 12 weeks. Fast forward to last weekend when I decided to take a pregnancy test for peace of mind only to get a very faint result followed by two negatives. Called hospital who matter of factly told me I’d had a complete miscarriage being as i’ stopped bleeding and feel well. Pretty numb for a day or two followed by sadness as reality dawns. So here I am, back to square one with a biological clock ticking in my mind and the realisation that this might not be as easy as it was before. Hope to be able to give and receive some support by joining this site

@Whatcanihave welcome and biggest hugs I'm so sorry for your loss and the horrid way in which you were treated 😔 it really seems to be hit and miss...I've had some very gentle medics but then I recall the surgery nurse who didn't think it was worth 'the bother' (her words) of booking me into the system with my third pregnancy (ironically the one that was successful) in case it ended in miscarriage like the first two 🙄

It may not be as easy but it is possible - keep the hope close to your heart and read some of the wonderful stories on this thread (gives me great optimism!). I've also found this forum to be so supportive on my journey and I'm sure it will be with yours too ❤️

@KahFen thank you for your earlier post and taking the time to write such lovely words..I enjoyed reading them. I love your philosophy on feeling life! ✨😊

Symptom-watch continues here...boobs are definitely bigger today but not sore. Curiouser and curiouser 🤔

My little trooper keeps growing/dividing, was told this morning. all set for tomorrow's transfer

@Russ absolutely brilliant news!!! So happy for you. Hoping it all works out for you....xx