35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

@79andnotout! That message gave me a giggle. 😂 Iv had nothing at all other than cranky and paranoid mood swings 🙄.

@CNizzle maybe winging it could be the month for you 🤞.

@kescilly great news on the scan 💗.

@Quantum I will try more than a day of the cab next month and maybe do the cheapy opks alongside just to compare. It’s all so bloody confusing 🙈.

@Bambi hope your enjoying all that Italian food!

😂 at chili fingers!

@CNizzle that's so annoying. Are your cycles regular? I often wanted to take a break from OPKs but I was so irregular. I think it would have felt good to ditch them!

@kescilly yes, usually ov cd15-17 and have a 10/11 day luteal phase, so i could give it a good guess. HyCoSy is booked for cd13 too.

@kescilly lovely news about your scan 💕 Good luck @Russkispy and welcome @zoomies1

Hehe - did a proper lol at chilli fingers too 😂

@CNizzle my cb monitor arrived too late to use this month too (and looks very confusing!) but i’ve been using the cheapies to track. Had faint lines, but not a positive (I don’t think) yet & was supposed to ov yesterday according to my app. Not sure if i’m in the mood for ttc though this month. Think I definitely need to focus on de-stressing! I seem to be tired all the time lately

@CNizzle hope all goes well for the HyCoSy.

@PixieN it’s not confusing once you set it up, I promise. Let me know if you have any questions about the monitor that I can help with.

I tested today stupidly i know its too early 7 dpo bfn 😭

Hello ladies,

Just thought I would pop on and say hi.

I decided to have a little break and regroup after the cp, I didn’t realise quite how much of an emotional and physical toll it would take.

It seems to have messed with my cycle a bit (although I only have last month to compare using the cbfm).

There has been quite a lot of high stress family stuff going on too which hasn’t helped.

I’ve skimmed the posts and so pleased to see everyone doing well. 😁

Hello to the newbies 👋🏻

Hey everyone - been lurking for a bit and catching up with everyone's updates... @Kescilly so great about your scan! @QuantumGirl wow, it would take a lot to get me to do DIY - you must really need distraction! @Russkispy exciting times for you! @zoomies1 Welcome! I totally had that feeling when my coil came out too.

I've been using Clear Blue OPK this month - had loads of flashing smileys over the last few days but no Peak solid one... I'm CD14 today and normally have 24-26 day cycles. I had ewcm three days ago but not much since, but fairly present ovulation pains and my temps haven't risen significantly.

Am very confused! I'm getting mixed signals. Has anyone experienced this sort of thing?! Does no Peak sign mean I might not have ovulated?

Thanks @kescilly x will give it a go my next cycle & let you know how I get on.

Definitely too early @Peanut35 I know how tempting it is to test though! 🙈 Good luck!

Hi @MrsRCC Glad you’re feeling a bit better. Sometimes you need to take a break

@PixieN i know i know every month ive thought i had the "right" symptoms and felt different this month but i really dont think this will be my month either 😭

@MrsRRC hope the resting and re-grouping has helped you feel a bit steadier.

@LeonieKate... last 2 months when I was temping my temperature did not show a rise - I was taking temp at irregular times... and also travelled and was quite jetlagged. End of last month and this month I started setting an alarm and taking temperature first thing in the morning after at least 3 hours sleep at precisely the same time each morning and I've seen a clear rise this month which matched the peak CB OPK... although I'm not sure I detected EWCM although there were a couple of wet days which coincided with that time. Are you taking temp at same time every day?

Well my body is so IRREGULAR that even my Ovia app has given up on me 🙈. Time to call a doctor!

Are your cycles long or just irregular, Carley? How long have you been off BC now?

@MrsRRC I’m glad that you’ve been resting a bit and I hope that you’re feeling a little better now.

Back in blighty and catching up 🙂 Apologies for the essay, but I've missed loads!

Fabulous news on the scan @Kescilly 💖 Very excited to find out what you're having!! 👶

@Carley321, how are you doing lovely? I hope you're not still feeling down in the dumps?x

@79andnotout, chilli fingers had me lmfao 😂 Have you succumbed to testing yet? I'd absolutely want to be drinking at the wedding if all was good in the hood 🥂

@CNizzle, thinking of you a lot ❤️ I went through what sounds like a similar thing with my grandfather (who bought me up)- brain tumour and hospice. Heart breaking. Sounds like you're being amazingly strong for your family. Please look after yourself too.x

@Peanut35, 7dpo is crazy early to test! I'd give it at least another 5 days and then give another FRER a go. Hopefully it'll be a BFP then 🤞🏻

@PixieN, I hear you on the need for a de-stressing plan. I was laid in bed last night dwelling on exactly the same topic. A holiday is fab for a quick stress release fix, but hardly useful in the long term 🤔 Work's pushing the whole "mindfulness" app thing, but I wanted to punt the phone out the window after about 30 seconds of the drivel it was spouting- therefore not exactly useful for me 😬 Think I need to make a concerted effort with the running again now I'm home. It's helped loads in the past 🏃‍♀️

I was thinking of you and wondering how you were doing @MrsRRC, so thanks for checking in ☺️ I hope your family stress has sorted itself out?

All those mixed results sound very confusing @LeonieKate 😕 Sometimes these kits seem more of a hindrance than a help! Maybe an annovulatory cycle for you this month? I think it's common for all of us to get one about once a year, from what I've read. If you get the same confusing thing happen next month, maybe see the doc and ask for some bloods to see what's going on? Hopefully it's just a one off though.

@QuantumGirl, I salute your DIY TWW distraction! 🙌 You're a better woman than me! 😄

CD20 here (somewhere between 5-7dpo). I'm trying to taunt AF into staying away by brining back 10kg of unpasteurised chesses and salumis, as well as a litre each of Malfy gin and the Botanist... it didn't work in September with my 24 bottles of wine delivery, but second time lucky maybe?! 🍸🧀🥓🙄

Hey everyone. Just came on to moan tell you about today.
Dad now in the hospice & much more settled. Hes been in before & the staff know mum&dad. One of the cleaners was chatting to me & mum, asking about my younger sister & her kids (aged 3&5). Next thing im being asked "do you NOT want kids?" FFS i was raging but really embarrassed, didnt really know what to say. I really wish people would butt out! My mum was then going on about how it was ok that i didnt have kids cos we lived far away from her 😢.
Tempted to bring it up later on, but i cant face the conversations. I would like her support in a way, but i cant lay anything else on her when dad is so sick.
Urgh.

@cnizzle glad to hear your dad is more settled. But sorry to hear about the kids question I don't think people always think about why you may not have had children yet.
I have been with dh for nearly 20 years and married 10 we weren't sure we wanted kids but decided to give it a shot last year. When I told my parents earlier this year that I was pregnant (sadly ended in mc) the first thing they said was 'was it planned?' I know it took us a while to get there but you would think after all those years together if I didn't know how contraception worked we would have had an accident by now! Bless they were really upset though when I had the mc and are super chuffed (though cautious) now. Keep getting calls to see how I am. 8+2 today and hoping the nausea and tiredness are good signs (in pjs already and feeling a bit shit and very jealous of the unpasteurised cheese and cured meats being talked about).

Goodluck those in the tww/fw

Oh @CNizzle 😢 People really, really don't think before they speak, do they?! 😤 When I was married I'd get asked that all the bloody time - from people I'd literally only just sodding met there and then! How is it OK to ask something so very, very personal to a complete stranger?? I really, really wanted to say "actually, we've been trying for 3 years, they can't find anything wrong with us but we can't get pregnant. We're devastated" - just once. Just to see the look on their face 😓

I know the timing isn't great, but maybe your mum would welcome that discussion you're thinking of having, if you can face having it?

@Kescilly I came of bc end of May. Had my withdrawal bleed in June, then had an 83 day cycle so AF in September, then a 40 day cycle so AF in Oct and now I’m on cycle day 32. twice Iv had positive OPK results but at different times in each cycle. So Ovia literally takes about 5 minutes to load and then gives me a fertile window every week and an AF every 2 weeks 🙈 lol. It’s crazy.

@Bambi hello how was Italy.... foodie I bet?
I’m not to bad. Feeling a little better and also wondering what I can do other than drink this weekend 🤔 lol. Good luck for a BFP after a nice relaxing break 🤞 I have high hopes for you this month 😊

@CNizzle how frustrating... it happens to us quite often alongside DP mother constantly informing us that it’s about time we had children 🙄 what are we waiting for! Our general answer has turned into ‘we love travelling to much’.

Quick question does anyone have strange lumps or bumps in the boobs after fw or before af? My body seems to be going through some changes at the minute, including unbelievable amount of hair falling out 🙈. I’m hoping it’s just finally adapting to life with bc.

@CNizzle that’s so difficult. People don’t realize how hurtful they can be. If you feel ready to have that conversation with your mom, you should. You deserve support and understanding.

When we first visited my niece it was really difficult for me but I was also happy. My SIL asked “Doesn’t it make you want one?” I wanted to tell her that my ex and I had been trying for a baby when she got married, that I had wanted one for years but ended up with a husband that cheated and left. That I was thrilled just to have found someone I wanted to be with again and was too scared to let myself want children again. That I had tried and not had a baby and didn’t know if I was infertile.

Of course I didn’t say any of that to her. I just smiled and said “It makes me realize how nice it is to be able to hand babies back.” And promptly handed my niece back to her!

Without bc* I seriously need to start proof reading my posts 🙈.

@Carley321 it sounds like maybe you’re slowly becoming more regular? I wouldn’t stress over the apps, they nearly always got it wrong for me. I only used them to record when my ovulation readings and AF after the fact. If I relied on them I certainly would have missed ovulation!

@Kescilly I hope so. It’s been 6 months now, so getting a little impatient. I need an off switch to just get on with it without the stress lol

@CNizzle some people just don't think before they speak, I had a new colleague ask me 'how many kids I have' this week like it was a given I'd have multiple children. I always feel like a fail when I have to say 0.

Hope your dad & mum are doing ok and you're looking after yourself 

Thanks everyone, just caught me off guard. Ive not had anyone mention it for ages to be honest. My mum gave up on me i think once my sister "produced the goods" so to speak! You dont expect to have to defend lifestyle choices or indeed contraception/sex life/infertility (which is essentially what they're asking) with complete strangers in a hospice whilst tending to a sick relative!!
Anyway. Im at the station, on my way back to scotland. My dad is settled & stable, and has lots of friends visiting this week. Ill head back down with OH next weekend.
Not looking forward to being back in work mind you!
@MrsRRC nice to hear from you, id been thinking of you recently, hope youve managed to regroup x
@BambiOnIce80 v jealous of your livrly holiday. A bit of sun (& great food) is very welcome once the clocks change!