TTC Our Rainbow

[MeghanV07]

Hi all 💞 I had a miscarriage on the 5th September, I was 7+2 😔. We already have a 10 month old so I feel very blessed to have him. But now in the 2ww and I’ve done about a million tests already and they’ve all been BFN. Some I’ve thought they may possibly be a very very very positive but I’m doubtful. Is anyone else trying to conceive their rainbow 💞

I have everything crossed for you 🤞🏼☺️ @Delilah7

Just havnt had any EWCM so I'm conceived I'm out 👎🏼

Roll on AF Xxx

@MeghanV07 doesn't mean you're out babe.
I hope so but I doubt it xxx

Hey @MeghanV07 fingers crossed it is nothing to be concerned about. Make an emergency GP appointment first thing on Monday morning. I think they should see it asap.

Re your question about CM, I used to check internally as I don't really get anything externally, but I still am yet to discover EWCM! I feel like it's the holy grail.

No things haven't really improved much. The toxic one continues to bash me to DP and he continues to listen to her. I haven't done anything to her so I don't understand why she has chosen me to destroy DP and I have had a very rocky relationship the past 3.5 years. The two MC's nearly killed us. But we have been stronger than ever since DP agreed to start TTC again in June. We have been so in love and so happy. Now this has happened and things are back to shit again. I'm trying so hard to rise above it all. But when DP is texting me all this stuff about how right she is, it is very very hard.

I wrote a blog post yesterday. t was a really positive one and it was me admitting I have been a bad friend and GF since our losses and I was apologising. It was very hard to write but I was really proud of it. DP read it and he took it apart. Only saw the negatives. He told me that the toxic one also read it and also only saw negatives.
I feel so ganged up against. All for One Bad Day, all for me offloading onto 'friends'.

Anyway, there's nothing I can do. The damage has been done. All I can do is go NC with the toxic one and hope she eventually goes away. I can't see our relationship lasting now though. And obviously TTC is fucked. This is my last chance...
I'm 13dpo now and temp has risen. I'm clinging to that bit of hope. That is all I can do for now.

@Delilah7 go girl, GO! I'm rooting for you, get those little spermies going! You can do it!!

@Frazzlerock I'm trying just feel I can't win at the moment. :( xx

Feel I haven't done enough xxx

You sound so down @Delilah7
Do you know for sure when you ovulate? I think the only thing you can do if you are not temping is just have sex as often as you can. They say every 2-3 days I think before ov. From what I have read sperm can survive for up to 5 days (don't quote me!). There is always a chance.
I know how frustrating this whole TTC thing is, especially after MC, and it is devastating when it happens to others so easily.

Your loss was only 2 months ago, that is nothing and I am sure you are still coming to terms with that. Hell, I'm still struggling 2.5 years later!

I really recommend Ovusense. It is quite expensive. I think it is £79 but there is a discount code available I think. I used a September one. Then it is £20 a month. I've been amazed by what I've discovered, but I have to admit I am really anxious being in the 2WW so maybe ignore me. I have just found it to be a really clever bit of kit xx

@Frazzlerock I just can't see her logic as to why she told him & why she is continuing to talk to him? And vice versa? Why is he still listening to her?

@Delilah7 I feel the same. We DTD 3 times in my fertile window but I've had no signs of ovulation apart from cramps and what I thought was boob pain but think that's down to something else. I feel like I'm out & also like you, havnt done enough.

We're so tough on ourselves sometimes xx

@Frazzlerock I'm so trying not to as there are so many people worse off than me. I got pregnant 3 months into trying first time so I was so lucky! I used to ovulate 14/15 days into my cycle when I was 28 day's. Now after the MC I seem to be 33 day cycle and a ovulation of CD 17/18... bare in mind this is based on EWCM and ovulation pains. Nothing else. ( which is how I got pregnant before! ). I guess there is more pressure this year. My grandads got terminal cancer twice and I'd love him to just know I was pregnant again. ( he knew the last time as I told him when I miscarried ). And with my dad's heart problems going on aswell as our family drama it would be the perfect news to end a horrible year. Thank you... makes me feel a little better that I've got you guys to understand. I'm trying to stay away from buying things like that yet. Maybe after a year or so. You're so wonderful you two. @MeghanV07 we are way too tough on ourselves. The time we think we aren't pregnant or bothered is when it happens annoyingly haha xx

@Frazzlerock I'm not going to lie I really don't like how your DP and ' fake friend ' seem to be so close about this situation... so not fair xx

@Delilah7 I hope you're just having a bad day and feel better tomorrow. Keep offloading if you need to

No, this situation is awful. I am angry at myself for having a moan when maybe I should have done, I am angry at the toxic one for betraying me in such a sick way (been best friends since we were 13), and I am angry at DP for siding with her. Plus the anxiety over the TWW - it's all become a bit much

*Shouldn't have done, not should!

@Frazzlerock darling don't you dare think you've done anything wrong. Mates are there to moan too... they take pressure off OHs! not make it worse!! X

Thank you for your support 💜

It makes me sad that you're being so hard on yourself @Frazzlerock, you are absolutely no to blame in any of this! Your toxic friend is!! I just can't get my head around the fact she's done what she's done. You should be able to tell your friends the absolute worst and they should always have your back & keep things confidential. Do you know exactly what she is saying to your DP? I just feel like she's got more of a motive.... she is 100% jealous. Have you ever had any issues with her before?

@Delilah7 you've had a tough year & you deserve this BFP ❤️ they say things come in 3's, so your mc, your grandad and your dad is your 3, now time for some luck ❤️.

We just popped to our new John Lewis in our town and went to the baby section 🤦🏽‍♀️ bad idea. DH kept pointing stuff out for our 'next baby' and I'm just convinced I'm never ever going to get pregnant again. I have really bad anxiety the majority of the time & I have it in my head I'm never going to have another baby, something really bad is going to happen to me and I'm going to end up in hospital and my DH is going to take my DS away. I can't talk to my DH because he thinks I'm fucking crazy anyway 🙃 but I cannot get these thoughts out of my head xxx

@MeghanV07 I really really hope so xxx

Hi ladies, I hope you don’t mind if I join you. I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks back in January, and another one at 15 weeks in August. My dh and I both said we would wait until after Christmas before TTC again but I am getting desperate to be pregnant again. Both my best friends are due the day before I was due and both my SILs are due that month too. I am literally surrounded by pregnant women. I have an appointment on Tuesday to get the results of the post-mortem for the August loss and I am hoping they say we can try again as I don’t think I can face my due date without being pregnant. Especially with all these babies due to be born around that time too.
Sorry for the long post but having read through your thread (and been in tears at some of the posts) I felt that I had finally found people who might understand. I have been very unemotional about both losses to other people (apart from DH) but this last week I have felt really low. Maybe it’s because of the appointment on Tuesday, or because I am starting to feel that I want to be pregnant again.
TTC sucks 😕

@craftymum01 💜
You are most welcome and what a horrendous time you've had. I am so sorry for you my love. Please don't suppress your feelings. I wish you so much joy, you deserve it xx

You all deserve so much joy 💜

This is really shit timing for this group but I wanted to tell you all that I got a BFP this morning. I'm in utter shock.
I'm terrified we'll lose another one.
I'm also terrified to tell DP since all this has kicked off. This isn't how it was meant to be.
I feel like running away. Away from the negativity in this house and finding somewhere happy and surrounding myself with people who will be happy for me.
I had visions of presenting DP with a Daddy mug or something and seeing the smile develop on his face. But I know he will be devastated after the past few days of shit.

He's asleep right now. I've been awake since 4:30.
I'm so happy and completely blown away, I can't stop looking at the test. But I'm so sad at the circumstances

I hope you are all okay today xx

@craftymum01 welcome honey. Sorry you have to join this group but we are all here for you. Can't imagine losing one that late. Must be horrible. Here for you and we know how you feel about wanting to try again.

OMFG @Frazzlerock!!!!!! Do NOT let what's happened dampen this amazing thing. Congratulations sweetheart. I hope when you say to your DP your pregnant he feels awful for how he has been with you recently and your so called 'friend'. ( I'm sorry but I have to say that ). You know what I don't think he will be as bad as what you think, I think he will actually realise he's been a bit of a donut 🍩. You shouldn't have to feel this negative about something so amazing. I do feel for you and send you so much love. Remember all your babies are lucky to have had you as mother. ❤️❤️

@Delilah7 thank you!
I honestly don't think DP I'll be happy at all. He will shout and cry and just go from bad to worse. I know him and he is very predictable.
I've wrapped the test stick up in a bit of paper that I put an image of a rainbow on. Then tied a ribbon around it.

I'm trying to make it a happy occasion. If he reacts badly (as predicted). I will walk out. I don't want to be around his negativity at such an amazing time.

Thank you so much for your support over the past few days. You've been wonderful xx

@craftymum01 I am so sorry for your losses 💔 due dates are always tough & you don't want to forget them, but you want to feel 'ok' with them & it doesn't make things easier when you know lots of people who are due around the same date you would be. We're all here for you ❤️

Oh my goodness @Frazzlerock I am absolutely over the moon for you!!!! There's always a rainbow after a storm 🌈. I really hope DP is easy on you & realises what a twit he's being! This maybe what just both need. Please please update us on how it goes telling him.

I am so happy for you ❤️

@Frazzlerock please let us know darling xxxx

Thank you for your warm words :)

@Frazzlerock congratulations!!!! That is such amazing news! As the other ladies have said, do not let anyone else's reaction stop you from celebrating such a joyous moment. xxx

I just took it up to him.
He opened it, slammed it down on the bed and put his hands over his face.

I walked out.

This is a day for celebrating

Oh lovely 😔

Please go out and get some fresh air. You're right it is a time for celebrating. Do you have any plans for this weekend that can keep you busy?