TTC Our Rainbow

[MeghanV07]

Hi all 💞 I had a miscarriage on the 5th September, I was 7+2 😔. We already have a 10 month old so I feel very blessed to have him. But now in the 2ww and I’ve done about a million tests already and they’ve all been BFN. Some I’ve thought they may possibly be a very very very positive but I’m doubtful. Is anyone else trying to conceive their rainbow 💞

You did completely the right thing! It is absolutely a day for celebrating. I have to say I think your partner being pregnant tops your feelings about a conversation with a spiteful 'friend' who was just stirring the sh*t.

We are all over the moon for you though :)

@Frazzlerock it fries my brain how he can be like this. Take some time out for yourself today. Don't message him or try contact him. Wait for him to come to you. Go out and have some time to yourself. You're pregnant it's an amazing thing! Xx

@Frazzlerock congratulations on your BFP! You're totally right, it is a time to surround yourself with positivity. Sorry you're having such a hard time. Are you okay? Xx

Are you okay @Frazzlerock ? Xx

So let us know you're ok @Frazzlerock xx

Hope you're ok darling @MeghanV07

Why do I wake up each day thinking I'm not going to go crazy over TTC & then by the time I've showered I feel really shit about it all again 😔

I know it's only my 2nd cycle since my MC but I am going insane. I feel so deflated, feel like I'm never going to have a baby & feel so upset by it all.

Why can't this be easy 😔

@MeghanV07 I understand that Hun. Don't be so hard on yourself 😘

Morning.

First of all @MeghanV07 what you're experiencing is totally normal. It is HARD!
You need to give yourself a break and just be okay with feeling all these emotions. Don't feel shit about it, just accept that you are feeling this. Scream into a pillow, write down on a bit of paper how angry/upset/frustrated you are. Write obscenities, whatever, just get it down and don't feel guilty about it either. Just be careful you don't offload these into a friend (obviously I've learnt the hard way!) just please be kind to yourself, it's a rough ride xxx

I'm okay today thank you. DP seems to have come around. He went food shopping and cake back with half the supermarket as well as the most expensive box of Pregnacare he could find (it's got an extra Omega 3 capsule to take) and a bunch of flowers. Obviously I cried my eyes out!

He's doing EVERYTHING around the house and if I do much as suggest something like emptying the washing machine, he's on me like a prison warden. So I think it's safe to say he is in better spirits about our (already planned!) pregnancy.
I'm still terrified something will go wrong. I sobbed down the phone to my mum, who was really pleased for us.

I'm crying all the time. Been awake since 5:30 (and did two more tests, clearblue digital and another FR). I sat downstairs and watched Wonder on Netflix. My GOD did I cry. I'm not a cryer during films so my hormones are clearly working well right now which gives me a bit of confidence

Anyway, how is everyone else today? Xx

@MeghanV07 oh hun, I know exactly how you feel. What we put ourselves through is so hard sometimes. Hope you have something nice planned for the day so you can take your mind off of it.
@Frazzlerock I am so pleased for you that he has come round. I totally understand your fears and it feel almost impossible to start feeling excited about it, but try and let your imagination allow you to picture yourself with your baby. It’s okay to feel scared and still be excited 😊 hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday

@Frazzlerock told you he would come round. Men are funny things. He so wants you to be parents he was just caught up in the other situation I think... lovely that he got you flowers & that he's doing things around the house. So pleased for you. Trust me I understand emotions go everywhere when you find out so you're being perfectly normal hun. We have been cleaning the whole house this morning.... knackered now! 4 bed clean is A LOT! 😂😂 other than that I'm ok. Have felt slightly strange like a tightening in my chest this morning and very strange taste in my mouth x x

@Delilah7 err.... what kind of strange taste?

@Frazzlerock metallic flemmy taste. Sorry for TMI xx

How many days past ov do you think you might be?

@Frazzlerock I think that's my problem, I don't feel like I'm okay with feeling shit. I havnt felt shit in a while, by while I mean a week 🤦🏽‍♀️. I'm going to the Dr about my boob tomorrow so maybe I'm just anxious about that too?

I spoke to DH today and he said that we will just keep trying and give it a year, but a year seems so long away. I've had 3 pregnancies now (1 living child) and caught every single time first month. I know I was incredibly lucky before and I count my blessings for that, but because I haven't caught straight away I just feel fuming. I feel so selfish that I feel like this too as I know people and friends who have been trying for over 2 years with absolutely no success so I feel awful feeling shit. It's so messed up 😔.

Oh hun I am so happy he's come round. I knew he would, he was just being a twit! I think he was just feeling really low about the whole TTC situ & your friend just fuelled his anger about it all, but no you've got your BFP it's what he's wanted. I hope that all makes sense 😂. But so happy for you 😘

😱😱 this is what I had with my last pregnancy @Delilah7 tested 3 days later and got a BFP! This is exciting 🙊

@Frazzlerock no idea. Had the most EWCM on Thursday but flo said I'd ovulate Friday. It's too soon for any signs of pregnancy I think @MeghanV07 unfortunately :( xx

Managed to DTD after a frisky moment on the sofa. So we both feel abit better but I defo feel strange. Maybe I'm coming down with something. However don't think nipple sensitivity has anything to do with flu! 😂

I'm the worst for symptom spotting so I get excited at any sign 🤦🏽‍♀️

Wish I could get frisky on the sofa. Stupid dog gets in the way and sniffs everything 😂.

I know what triggered my feelings this morning, we had our friends over last night and one of the girls is 23/24 weeks pregnant and my DH asked her if she's feeling much movement and I couldn't even bring myself to look at her... I said to him this morning it made me feel so uncomfortable 😔.

Is anyone taking anything to help with ovulation etc?

Have a Dr's appointment today at 10:40 I'm so worried 😫😭

What’s that for hun? I’ve got one tomorrow. Not looking forward to it 😕

@craftymum01 One of my boobs has swollen massively and won't go down. Came down with what I thought what the flu last Sunday and was in agony with both boobs, the right one has gone down but my left has stayed really really swollen and hard 😖

Hope everything's okay with you? Xx

@MeghanV07 let us know how you get on with the GP.

I'm at the GP too. Mines at 10:50 to get into the system. I'm hoping she will send me for a reassurance scan at some point.

Do you mind me hanging around in here? I just don't know when I'll be ready to join an Ante Natal group. Last time I did that I had to leave when I lost my little one. That was a massive kick in the teeth. Then I tortured myself by looking at the group to see how people we're getting on 🙄

Btw @MeghanV07 a YouTube Ted Talk video that really helped me in my darkest days was this one.
It was recommended to me by my life coach and friend.
It's not related to what any of us are/we're going through but you will find it strikes a big chord. It's probably the best spent 15 mins I've ever spent.
It's called 'Why aren't we awesomer'

@Frazzlerock defo stay in here. We want to hear your journey. Good luck at doctors x x

Same for you @MeghanV07 x x

@Frazzlerock yes please don't go anywhere, we need your support ❤️

Dr said it's hormone related, because of where I am in my cycle it seems that way. She said I have to wait to see if AF arrives and if they don't go down after a week after AF I need to go back and if the pain gets worse to go back too. I don't feel any better about it all but feel happier I've been so if I do go back she said they will look into it further.

Sorry if that's all gobblydoo gook... it's really sore now she's messed around with it 😩.

I'll give the video a watch later, feel like it's something I need. Let us know how your appointment goes xx

Ouch! That sounds really uncomfortable. Mine is for post-mortem results. D-day lol
@frazzlerock yes defo stay!!