TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

Good morning ladies. Just thought I'd drop a note to say that I'm following the thread off and on this month. Thinking of those with due date anniversaries at this time and those going through CPs and MCs and all sorts of emotions. Good luck to all those in the 2WW x

@Yukka Your acupuncture experience is really interesting. I have only had it when DS was overdue and I really liked the experience. I'm not entirely sure if it made a huge difference but I can tell you that when he decided to come, it was bloody fast so maybe that was the acupuncture. It sounds like it is really helping you definitely stick with it.

I feel a bit funny this cycle. I've tried to block out the 2WW crazy thoughts and just get on with things and I feel somewhat relaxed about stuff although have an underlying concern that if AF shows up that I'm going to be disappointed even though I feel like it will this month. Plus after the CP last month I've decided I'm not going to test unless and until AF is a good week late at least. I'm 11DPO today - long cycle this month due to CP.

@InDreamland that consultant doesn't sound very compassionate at all. What's your GP like? Would they do bloods (even basics of diabetes, thyroid, etc?) I've been contacting lots of private and nhs providers to find out about recurrent Mc investigations. The Nuffield do offer private blood testing through their path direct service. The thrombophilia screen is £199, sticky blood test £68. They also do the hormone tests (fsh, lh, AMH, progesterone, eostrodil etc etc) and some genetic screening.

Is it worth trying a slightly different tack? As you'd been trying so long before you caught would they do testing to see if there's a reason why conceiving is difficult for you? That may give you a better "in" if you know what I mean?

Hugs.

@TinyPaws no I haven't had that checked. I'll look into it, thanks. I have been taking a pre conception vitamin for about 2 years though. Ooh good luck for your IVF. We will be starting in Jan if no luck before then so I'm sure I'll have all the same anxieties. Everything crossed for you.
@Laney79 I'm so sorry that your Bow is gone but also glad your body was able to let go naturally this time. I also remember how hard it was last time for you. Hope you get some answers and your healthy baby soon.
@awakeatnight and @KnitKitty thankyou. Unfortunately though my positive thinking has disappeared a bit with my ovulation. Day 20 and still negative opks. Don't know what's going on!
@strawberrye sorry about your due date hun but well done for taking care of yourself. Glad that my furry namesake provided some comfort! 🐘
@Melpops36 I echo everyone else. If you only ovulated day 22 then you probably have another week to go. Late ovulations are frustrating!
@hayleyfx congratulations!!!! What a beautiful ring!!
@MeghanV07 sorry for the announcement. They are so hard.
@mostimproved hope it's smooth sailing going forward.
Yukka wow! What an amazing experience! She sounds awesome.
@InDreamland so sorry you're having nightmares. Have you tried meditation before sleep? I know it's so hard but I think you really have to try and forgive your body. I feel sure next time you'll have a healthy pregnancy.
Hugs to all who af has af arrived for and those with looming due dates.

I'm on cd20 and no ovulation in sight. 😫 think it might be the thyroxine as usually I ovulate day 17 and still not even a pos opk. One more thing to wait for.... all a bit frustrating!

Hi everyone, how are you doing?

@laney79 sorry to hear about Bow. Glad you are now able to move forwards, as difficult as it is. I felt a lot better when I went through some fertility investigations- felt i had some control.
@hayleyfx congrats! I love your ring!
@boboelephant we are hoping to start our ivf journey in January too. Just waiting for an appointment. Regarding your late ovulation, I had two cycles where I ovulated cd21 so she could pop out soon!

Speaking of weird ovulation...i have just ovulated on cd11 which is completely random and proper hurt! But I used to ovulate at this time before the miscarriage so I'm hoping, 6 months later, that my body has gone back to normal.

@Mistymeow we've been cycle buddies many times and both trying since 2016 so maybe we'll be ivf buddies too! Yes I'm sure it'll come and I'm just having a late cycle but it's frustrating as my MC was 10 months ago! I've had regular ovulation for the past 7 months. Irritating that it's decided to go haywire now. As it is ovulating on day 17 seems like forever to wait! Glad to hear your body is getting back on track.

Thanks everyone!! It was so lovely. He proposed with the help of my 5 year old niece, she held the ring which was just so cute. It was perfect. My niece is so excited now to be flower girl haha!
I’m 7dpo and I’ve not really been thinking about the TWW - my mind is preoccupied with wedding planning, engagement party, my birthday in a few weeks and mine and my partners anniversary in a few weeks too. It’s nice to not be obsessing over symptoms!! Also quick question - after dtd last night for about half an hour I had awful cramps, I’ve never had that before. It was so strange... no spotting or anything just felt so sore then it disappeared. Anyone had that before? I was 6dpo so knew it wasn’t AF!

@Laney79 sorry to hear about bow but I’m glad you can start to move on now. It’s so hard - I hope you’re coping okay. Sending lots of hugs and healing thoughts ❤️

@mostimproved tentative congratulations. I hope you have a very sticky bean!

Sorry to anyone I’ve missed. I keep meaning to properly catch up on the thread but don’t get a chance! Hugs to anyone having a rough time and good luck to everyone else in the TWW! I might test on Saturday... a BFP this month would be the best engagement present!! 🤞 Hopefully there are lots of BFP’s this month.

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind me jumping on board.
TTC #4
I have 2 living children
3rd was tfmr in August
This is my first cycle ttc since my loss currently on CD6.
@hayleyfx congratulations on the engagement xx
Good luck to everyone xx

@Yukka That sounds amazing! Really hope it does help! I had acupuncture years ago to help with chronic pain with endometriosis, but I only had one session as I didn't like it, but maybe I should try a different practitioner.

@InDreamland I saw Michael McIntyre when he did the Hello Wembley tour and it was really good. (Saw it in Sheffield though, so I guess it was Hello Sheffield.)
Try having some cammomile tea before bed, and as someone else has said, do some meditation before falling asleep too. Hopefully it'll help you sleep better.
I'm pleased for you that your womb looks to be a normal shape and size and that the bloods looked ok. Things do all seem to be pointing towards being positive for you, so try to hold on to that. It's normal to feel pessimistic about your chances of having a healthy pregnancy after loss, and also because it took so long to get pregnant I understand completely that it's hard to imagine it happening quickly this time; BUT try to let that negative voice be drowned out by the positive stuff you've been told. He was right to tell you not to worry about MC when you were pregnant as you do have a higher chance of NOT miscarrying than you have a chance of MC, and worrying about miscarrying isn't going to help or prevent it from happening.
On the other hand, getting tests done privately will probably bring you peace of mind and give you some feeling of control back, so I think it sounds like a good plan. Good luck chicken. Hugs xxx

@Melpops I hadn't thought of the peace of mind which comes after the due date has been and gone, but you're right. Thanks for that.

@MeghanV07 I'm glad AF showed up so you can look forward to a new cycle now. Sorry it's not an easy one though. Hugs xxx

@Newbie21 Fingers crossed for you. xxx

@Boboelephant long cycles suck. Hope you have a good strong OPK soon.

@Mistymeow I hope this is your body getting back to normal. It's frustrating when your cycles aren't regular though, isn't it?

hayleyfx that sounds like a lovely proposal. All this must be a brilliant distraction. A BFP would certainly be well timed, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. You deserve nothing but happiness lovely. xxx

Hi @Angle2018 so sorry about your loss. Trying again comes with such mixed feelings, but you're in good company here. Best of luck this cycle!

I don't think this is my month ladies. I'm pretty sure I've got full-on PMS and I don't feel pregnant. Heavy boobs, fantastically hideous facial spot, increased appetite and very quick to get annoyed or feel angry - mostly about work even though it's my day off today... Had to tell myself to calm down this morning so I didn't ruin my day off! I cannot wait for my new job to give me the go-ahead to hand my notice in. I'm contemplating doing it early as I just don't know how much more I can handle! Sigh.
My PMS symptoms usually only show up a couple of days before AF and I think I'm about 4 or 5 days away right now so that's a bit weird, but then, our bodies all seem to do weird things so, hey-ho!
Anyhoo...
Had my flu jab and asthma check up this morning. The nurse said to keep taking my asthma meds and if I get pregnant see the doctor again about whether to stay on them or decrease them etc, but seemed a bit baffled that he had told me to stop the treatment I was on altogether in February when I was pregnant. Meh.
She also said she had a MC before her first child and then went on to have 5 children!!! I don't think I want 5, but it was encouraging to hear.

It's awfully quiet on here... I hope that means everyone's busy DTD...

How are you all today?

Sorry for TMI, but; I'm either 9, 10 or 11 DPO today and this morning when checking cervix my finger came out with a small spot of really old looking blood on it. I checked again and nothing the second time. I think my cervix is still sitting quite high though, although I'm not very good at telling. So I think maybe I'm going to start AF tomorrow.
Starting to feel like it's never going to happen.

@knitkitty trying to catch up with work after holiday sigh dtd would be much more fun . I am about 10dpo trying not to symptom spot... Tiny brown spot when wiped 7dpo nothing since... Ooops must not symptom spot only setting up for massive crash when the witch shows next week! Fx for you x

@KnitKitty wish I was DTD but bloody AF had got in the way 😂. Hoping she'll be gone by Monday.

I am so praying for a easy, nice, ovulating cycle this month 😂. I'm sure I didn't ovulate after my MC so not too sad that I didn't catch 1st month.

I just want to be able to DTD again 😩 obviously to make a baby, but I just want to feel loved again. Have that closeness etc. Think I feel sad & emotional today because I would have had our 12 weeks scan by now & would be sharing our news with people.

Eff you miscarriage.

Good luck to those in the TWW and hugs to those struggling at the moment. I'm on CD29, 15dpo and 5 days late for AF, and still testing positive so I am just telling myself 'today I am pregnant' - thank you to whoever said that previously on this thread. You are an amazing bunch! Can't quite bring myself to join a pregnancy thread so I am just hovering in the background for now!

@hayleyfx sounds lovely! Wedding planning is so fun! A bfp would really top off the celebrations- fingers crossed!
@Angel2018 welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss.
@KnitKitty still am DTD over here as still no ovulation but trying to keep it chill with every other day. Don't want JKS burnout! Day 21, negative opk... officially latest ovulation ever. Very frustrating as my ovaries hurt and I've got loads of ewcm so just not sure what is going on!? I hope the old blood is a good sign for you. Though I did get that once and af the next day. Who knows with these bodies of ours hey!? Still have everything crossed for you as always.
@Blondcat and @Newbie21 fx for you both!
@MeghanV07 sending hugs. It really is crap.
@Mostimproved I am sure you must feel so anxious but I will be excited for you! All sounds very promising!

I’m 8dpo and have a few cheap eBay tests lying about so of course I couldn’t control myself - I just did one, crazy I know! But there’s a faint line wtf??? I’m thinking surely a line at 8dpo is just not possible? I’m freaking out. I guess I’ll see what happens over the next few days. These faint lines get your hopes up so much...

@KnitKitty thank you!! Good luck for whenever you’re going to test, fingers crossed!

@Boboelephant thanks hun! I hope ovulation happens really soon for you 🤞 wedding planning is definitely a lot of fun!

@knitkitty I’ve never been able to find my bloomin cervix?! I remember having a few smear tests where the nurse struggled to so it must be really high?

@mostimproved congrats! Keeping everything crossed for you

@hayleyfx sorry I missed your engagement that’s fab news, lots of projects now to keep you busy..... and maybe s line...

@bobo good luck with ov hope you pop one out soon (nit sure that’s the right phrase?!) have you thought about fertility acupuncture at all?

Still lots of ewcm over here and had peaknov this morning so another dtd or two today and tomo. Going for bloods on. I say to confirm Hughes syndrome or not, results will take a couple of weeks.

@meghanv07 it can take a little while for cycles to sort are you using opks?

Sounds promising @Blondcat. Fingers crossed for you.

@MeghanV07 I didn't ovulate after MC either, but my first 'normal' cycle was, well, normal. So fingers crossed for you this cycle! And you will enjoy DTD again when you can! I felt the same; missing that closeness. Hope you got through today ok. xx

@mostimproved I was thinking about you, so thank you for the update. Sounds like things are looking good at the moment. Will keep everything firmly crossed for you. Stay strong lovely lady. xxx

@Boboelephant Maybe it's an anovulatory cycle? I hope not and that it's just late, but gggargh! SSooo annoying for you!!!

@hayleyfx I definitely see a line there. Keep testing and updating us. Fingers firmly crossed for you!

Yeah @Yukka I can just about reach it sometimes but only a bit of it. Can't tell if it's open or closed or anything. Good luck with the blood tests.

I've had a shit day.
I got to work this morning and started to feel tearful (thanks PMS). It's been a while since I've had such a wave of emotion about the MC. The due-date looming isn't helping I guess. Anyway, managed to hold it together but work wasn't great and tomorrow looks set to be even worse. And AF has shown her face early, or at least I've started spotting so...

I'm getting to the point where I can't imagine this ever happening. I know I'll feel more positive again soon when we can try again, but right now everything just seems unfair and shitty.

Sorry for the rant, but I know you guys totally get it, and I am so blessed to have you all to rant to. Sincerely hope you're feeling better than I am today.

Now to have some food, drink and watch a bad film to attempt to cheer myself up.

@hayleyfx I think I see a line on the first pic. Fingers crossed for you xxx

My nurse has confirmed the consultant is happy to do my blood tests which is great, so have to go weds when they'll take 6-7 vials of blood, wee sample and a swab .

Then apparently have to wait until the consultant appt on 27th nov. However we've not been told not to try in the interim so as soon as I've had a negative test hopefully we can jump back on the ttc bandwagon. My bleeding is almost gone-just lightbrown discharge on wiping, so hoping that stops too soon. Going to test again Sunday I think. Tried another opk today and it was a blazing positive so think the hcg is still in my system.

@KnitKitty the biggest hug in the world winging its way to you -it's not wrong to feel that it's unfair and shitty because that's exactly what it is. Better to let those emotions out than pretend they're not there. Xxx

Thanks @Boboelephant and @KnitKitty. Looks like there are a fair few of us nearing the end of the TWW - @KnitKitty and @Blondcat and a fair few more.

@mostimproved glad things are progressing as they should be. Totally understand the anxiety. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way and do keep us updated if you feel you want to, it is lovely to hear the happy stories and it gives hope to others in my opinion.

@KnitKitty sorry just caught up on your most recent post. Sorry you are feeling rubbish. It's not AF until it's in full flow. I'm not feeling it this cycle. I'm pretty sure AF will show up on Sunday for me but am just going to try and focus on the weekend. Hope you feel in better spirits tomorrow.

Hi all! Been lurking a bit.

@Laney79 so sorry about bow. Enormous hugs and take care of yourself.

@mostimproved I know it's a weird netherworld isn't it? EPAU did some bloods for me and said it was very unlikely to be ectopic which I'm pleased about, but having had it all go wrong before I now just feel in a weird category of perhaps-pregnant. Because everyone basically knew about the ectopic except at work it's hard to hide too - nobody bought my sober for October lies the other day!

@KnitKitty it's really hard when AF plays tricks. Not only the thing you really don't want but accompanied by a hormonal mess designed to make you feel like crap.

@Yukka good luck with the bloods.

@hayleyfx I think I see a line but have never had them that early on those tests- maybe try an FRER today or tomorrow? Fingers crossed!

Wondered if I could join, I posted on one of the other posts before. So sorry for everyone who's here on this post ❤️
Miscarried on 1st august with my first baby. I'm just feeling abit deflated.... trying not to work myself up about trying again, I put so much pressure on myself last month to get pregnant and was gutted when I wasn't so I've decided not to do OPKS until Christmas as luckily I fell pregnant basing my ovulation around EWCM and pains! I would of been 3 months now and that's just really hard to take in 😔 x

I think I may do the same @Delilah7 scrap the opk's & temps and just go by what an app says and my CM... I really really don't want to obsess over it. I've got 1 pregnancy test left and I plan on using it when my AF is late. I may get my DH to hide it 🤦🏽‍♀️ xxx

Finally back on after a week trying to catch up and failing! Last Sunday whilst we were still away on our due date break, I woke up at 4am with my worst migraine ever and spent 5hrs being sick because of the pain. I think my metformin maybe caused this and I hope it's not going to be regular. I've only been on it 9 days so hope it settles soon.

I'm soo behind now I can't catch up! So I'm sorry for anyone I miss out here.

@awakeatnight Sorry you've been struggling. Did you manage to arrange some counselling? Where are you in your cycle now? I had a 26 day cycle last month. Now on day 9 and expecting to ovulate on Monday or Tuesday.

@strawberrye Loved the Bobo story, so nice you won ❤️ Sorry I missed your due date. I understand how you feel about not being pregnant again yet. It's so hard. I agree with @awakeatnight Maybe we just needed to get out of that stage and start a fresh. I do feel a bit different now that day has come and gone. My second due date is in Feb but I don't feel the same as I did with my first loss.

@TinyPaws Pleased to hear you're able to start IVF again this month. It is so scary but you can do this. Good luck 🤞

@Babylonlost and @Angel2018 so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you find yourselves here but I hope we can provide support and comfort xx

@Laney79 I'm sorry it's been a tough week. I hope things have improved with your OH - you need each other more after losing Bow. I hope you feel ready to try again soon.

@hayleyfx congratulations on your engagement! Lovely news and just what you deserve! So cute your niece helped. Have you decided whether to have a long or short engagement? Fingers crossed for you for that BFP!

@InDreamland How was Michael McIntyre? Sorry you weren't able to get much help on the NHS but what he did say is reassuring. Good luck with the private tests xx

@Melpops36 How are you doing? I agree with the analogy of breaking a leg. It's ridiculous.

@KnitKitty Sorry to hear you're having a tough time with your body being confusing and work being shit. I totally get that it makes you feel like nothing is ever going to change. Things will change and we must try to be positive. You're always the positive one for us but we are all right behind you and hoping you get that BFP soon!

@Boboelephant How are you doing today? I'm sorry your body is being confusing for you too. It's so frustrating and hard not to obsess.

@hellotoyellow That's good news they don't think it's a chemical and I understand why you feel like you shouldn't believe it's actually happening. It's scary but take every day at a time for now. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

Well I am apparently in my FW - the ICs have a very faint line but the CB digital is flashing away. I've had no EWCM yet so I'm expecting I'll ovulate Monday or Tuesday. We are supposed to be trying this month but my DH is away from tomorrow and possibly until Friday so I hope if we DTD tomorrow it might be enough. Although whenever we have only DTD once we haven't been successful. Both pregnancies we DTD at least twice. I so desperately want to be pregnant but I'm terrified of having a third MC this year. One more MC after having private tests is just going to make me feel like it's just not possible. I just hope taking metformin makes a difference this time.

Hi, I've been lurking all week again. @knitkitty I'm sorry you be had a rubbish week. Rant away - we're in the same boat with due dates looking and crap at work. I still don't see how I'll ever be successfully pregnant given all the stress I get from my job but I can't bear the idea of waiting 6 months to ttc again whilst I find a new one. We haven't really been ttc this month although dtd sometimes, including last weekend. Saw my acupuncturist on Monday who thought I'd just ovulated... a nervous week has passed. I want to be pregnant but at the same time I'm STILL waiting for my referral for tests and would rather wait til I'm more sure a pregnancy will stick. Anyways, haven't slept much this week which was definitely a symptom in pregnancy no2 but did a test that was a BFN. Sigh. That was obviously just stress related.

Oh and did anyone see on the iPhone you can now get notifications when someone mentions your name? I turned mine on but it hasn't worked 🤷🏻‍♀️