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Conception

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Original poster

Any CATHOLIC friendly contraception out there??

126 replies

barina · 06/06/2007 20:27

Hi all,

Bit of a weird post but any advice welcome. My partner is catholic, not overly strict but still quite catholic 'abiding' and I am looking for catholic friendly contraception. He has heard that some pills, create an abortion like scenario where they allow the egg to be fertilised, but effect the lining of the womb so they can not house the feteous. Anyway so the pill is not ideal. Any one else out there catholic, and having sex!! Sorry if tmi!

thanks

OP posts:
mylittleimps · 06/06/2007 21:39

sorry spider didn't see until now that you had recommended the book earlier,

still very good!!

tribpot · 06/06/2007 21:43

Okay - no abortion effect, but what's the deal with condoms?

nomoremagnolia · 06/06/2007 21:44

go on - propose!!

Original poster
barina · 06/06/2007 21:46

My Dp's catholism is no sex b4 marriage which wld work great if he was with another caltholic - but unfortunately I'm not. Obviously it's hard to abstain and sometimes you just can't. Snds weak I'm sure but u try day after day. Plus my DP is completely gorgeous and I I am often trying to seduce him and obviously I'm irresistable!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
barina · 06/06/2007 21:48

morning paper hit it o the head - condoms are used when u stop to think!!
Premediatated........ If we stopped to put on a condom we stop

OP posts:
tribpot · 06/06/2007 21:48

Well then surely there's no Catholic friendly contraception? If he's no sex before marriage, you can't have sex, end of.

RosaLuxembourg · 06/06/2007 21:50

My Catholic mother advised me when I was a teenager that the best contraception was an aspirin....

held tightly between the knees.

Not sure if this is of any practical help so can I just say that I did use Persona for a couple of years between children and found it good.

NKF · 06/06/2007 21:51

Obviously you are, Barina. I still think you'd be better off with an efficient contraception method. If he doesn't believe in sex before marriage, he probably won't be motivated to research or use contraception as that will imply that he decided in advance to have sex rather than being seduced by you and the moment. The second is temptation to which everyone is prone but the first is a mortal sin. So Catholics often prefer risky sex to a scheduled visit to a Family Planning Clinic. Can't believe how much this reminds me of my youth!

nomoremagnolia · 06/06/2007 21:56

I think the only feasable option is for you to go on the pill (the one which stops you ovulating) - as someone else said then it's your actions not his and it doesn't involve fertilization of the egg. I know abstainance would be best but it sounds like that isn't an option so I think you just have to go with the next best think. I think you are being sensible about this and good on you for wanting to sort it out, you obvioulsy love him.
Still backing the proposal route too! everyone loves a wedding!

nomoremagnolia · 06/06/2007 21:56

next best thing

MrsNorris · 06/06/2007 21:59

I know Catholics who use contraception - they believe it's better to do that than have more kids than they can cope with.

fireflyfairy2 · 06/06/2007 22:06

We use condoms.. am I for hell in a hand cart? I'll blame Dh!

bookwormmum · 06/06/2007 22:45

I thought condoms were winked at by the Catholic church if it's to prevent the spread of STIs rather than contraception per se?

Original poster
barina · 07/06/2007 08:27

thanks all!! And the proposal won't be happening anytime to soon, but i shll keep you posted.
Plus I'm sure his priest will expect me to do some services before I walk down his aisle!!

OP posts:
Chandra · 07/06/2007 10:01

Some services??? ha! we had to walk, roll, jump, beg and finally tell my priest friend that as they were making it sooooooo difficult for us to get married by the church we had not problem in getting married by civil law and spend the rest of our lives living in sin... it worked as a charm, although... I was also told to keep my mouth shut about it too

NotSoSlimFashion · 07/06/2007 10:04

have skimmed through but have looked into the natural way before - taking temp, checking mucus etc. It pin points when you are most fertile, so a time to abstain. I can't think of what it's called, but it's just as effective done correctly.

bossykate · 07/06/2007 10:13

dh and i are catholic and we use contraception. sorry, but i think your dp is being rather pathetic about this and you are colluding with him to make it all your problem. why? if he's not catholic enough to abstain from sex before marriage then i don't think he's catholic enough to lay down the law for you in terms of contraception. there's no need to agonise over this - there are plenty of pre-fertilisation contraception options out there. this agonising over it is rather self-indulgent imho.

fluffyanimal · 07/06/2007 10:20

Bookwormmum said "Italy is a catholic country as well and as far as I understand has one of the lowest birth rates in Europe (most families only have one child similar to China but for different reasons...) You can't tell me all the signors in Italia keep their trousers zipped up all the time. If they can wink at a bit of contraceptive use, then I don't see why the rest of the world can't."

Well I have heard that anal sex is very widely practised in Italy, esp. before marriage so that girls are still technically virgins on their wedding night.

Chelseamum · 07/06/2007 10:22

I have been involved with a few "selfish" catholic boys who refused to use contraception as it was against their "morals" but did not hesitate in having sex before marriage without the guilt!

Funny world!

Blu · 07/06/2007 10:36

Good post from BK.

It's your body, your conscience. Do what you need to do - I v much doubt the fact that you are on the pill (a regular one, not progesterone only, but in the end, your choice) will suddenly cause him to have a fit of conscience and suddenly start abstaining, do you?

And:

Q. What do you call people who use the withdrawal method?
A. Mum and Dad.

Mrbatters · 07/06/2007 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintmaybe · 07/06/2007 10:51

I was catholic and we were told that all contraception, inc withdrawal, = mortal sin. Rhythm method, ie avoiding se x on most fertile days was permissable IF the there was a real risk to the life of the mother in the event of a pregnancy.

I knew several gi rls at school who had se x on the grounds that they got 'carried away' and so weren't really responsible, but using a con dom would be premeditated.

Have no experience of catholic boys, really couldn't be bothered with them. Guilt is quite good fun to add a bit of spice to your own life but I find it a bit dull in a partner

Hope everything sorts out for you barina

maisym · 07/06/2007 10:54

natural family planning methods & bf on demand (after you've had a little one!!)

McDreamy · 07/06/2007 10:57

DH and I are catholic and we use the mirena which we initially thought worked in "an abortion like" fashion but since doing research have found out that this isn't always the case as it also blocks sperm from reaching or fertilizing your egg, can stop the release of your egg from your ovary and also make the lining of your uterus thin. The pill works in a similar way (or so I thought)

bookwormmum · 07/06/2007 11:25

I dated an Italian man for 3 years and he had no issues with using condoms even though he was RC - in fact without the condoms we would have had a celibate relationship.