Any CATHOLIC friendly contraception out there??

[barina]

Hi all,

Bit of a weird post but any advice welcome. My partner is catholic, not overly strict but still quite catholic 'abiding' and I am looking for catholic friendly contraception. He has heard that some pills, create an abortion like scenario where they allow the egg to be fertilised, but effect the lining of the womb so they can not house the feteous. Anyway so the pill is not ideal. Any one else out there catholic, and having sex!! Sorry if tmi!

thanks

I am a actholic and quite strict, dp and I abstained for quite a long time but I am not that holy so I gave in.

I ahve used persona in the past, are they still in production. Now I know my cycle and we try to plan our sex around it, we also use withdrawal if we getdesperate but to be honest penetration is just not a huge partof our sex life.

That's a good point Twinset... I have always suspected that the myth of the Latin Lover (regularly a catholic) came from their ability to try everything, from words and promises to more elaborate sexual techniques to seduce a woman who clearly doesn't want penetration.

Thakns to all those who have written messages of advice, and to those that insist on mocking me and my partner, don't bother. My partner does not insist anything, I am just trying to support his believe and expand my understanding so that we an make a informed decision that suits both of us.
Sex is an important part of any relationship (othewise this site wouldn't exist) and ours is just more complicated than some.
but thankyou all for the advice. Mothers know lots about making babies (or not making!)
Persona, NFP were all alien concept to me as was the prospect of inspecting my cervix daily (tmi - sorry!) but now I am aware of different alternatives that could help my partner be a little less concerned - abortion is one of th greatest catholic sins and a contraceptive that mimics this is just something he wants to avoid and i completely understand. That being the original reason for the post, not being judged on his level of catholicism.

Thanks though to all that gave non-judgemental constructive advice - much appreciated!!

I really would not advise 'natural' contraception.

I mean, I love my daughter and all, and am very glad I did get pregnant, but it didn't, you know, work as contraception.

I imagine that Various Other Mumsnetters would say the same of Persona

Well, diaphragm, condoms, regular pill and implants all prevent conception, so would be within his radar.
And as for 'natural' methods - well, they often seem to let nature take it's fecund course. A much, much greater risk of pregnancy.

DD1 is a persona baby.

I was thinking of you, MrB

Snort, batters.

Isn't Persona designed for people who do wnat to conceive? And isn't it v expensive?

New fangled gadgets - all passed me by.

Persona was first designed as a contraceptive. Initially they wanted to 'red light' more of the days in the cycle,but people thought that this would be unpopular! Or so I've been told.

Persona has about an 80% reliability rate. It's not a bad form of contraception if you wouldn't mind having a baby.

better for baby spacing than baby preventing

Just thought I would throw in my thoughts...

I am protestant, my dh Catholic. Before we were married it was a strange situation, as I was the one who thought that sex should be kept within marriage, he was not a virgin, I was. We abstained but with much fondling and occasionally bringing each other to orgasm but no penetration - 5 years of this before marriage. I was a virgin on my wedding night at age 33, but I had been on the pill for medical reasons for 10 years.

My cycle is so irregular that we could not use natural fertily methods of birth control, even monitoring my cm was useless, and having more recently started taking my temperature to monitor for fertile time, I can now know for sure that natural family planning would not work for me. I have to say it was interesting debating with dh (or fiance as he was at the time) over whether the catholic church accepted contraception for medical reasons.... having searched the catholic teachings on the matter and talked to a few priests, we came to the conclusion that for health reasons some forms of contraception were acceptable "if your concience allows"!. So I continued to be on the pill until we started ttc.

However our wedding night lead to an issue of conscience immediately (did not detract from the pleasure however!). As I was ill and taking two different antibiotics which of course meant that the pill was no longer acting as a contraceptive!!!!

After much heartsearching and debate on the issues involved, and the fear of getting a honeymoon baby, dh finally agreed to using condoms. We have continued to use condoms, but I do track my cycle and if we are in a time when I "know" I am not fertile then we have occasionally not used the condoms, but due to my irregular cycles, this is very rare occurance.

Sorry I have waffled on a bit here but I suppose I really wanted you to know that you are not alone in the Catholics and contraception debate!

Dh and I are both Catholic and use contraception.

if you're going to break the rules, nreak them properly I say.

Break them even

I am a catholic. Yes the condom method is not approved of but we use it as it certainly aims to avoid any conception occuring whereas the morning after pill and coil I think actually can abort a three day old foetus (is that 16 cells ?!)
I am against abortion at all but dont necessarily expect everyone to be against abortion at such a young stage !
There are all sorts of ways of checking if you are fertile - one of them I read was that when your mucus is particularly stretchy that is a really fertile day. Also you may get a pain in your side when ovulating. However I think if you are trying to avoid getting pregnant a condom would be used over and above. I am thinking of combining condom and persona. So I would tell him to go and read some information if he is trying to be so strictly catholic - I find that the people that want to follow the "rules" tend to be the ones who actually dont live very christian lives anyway. In actualy fact the Vatican had a big commission in the 70s I think which was made up of lots of eminent people and lay people and they did recommend using more than natural family planning but it was all swept under the carpet. So, good luck. Its funny how from one month to the next you can think it would either be great or a disaster to get pregnant. But dont leave it too late. I didnt really want to have children but love it now I have them.
Oh BTW I also know a fair number of people who were on the pill and got pregnant so its not just Persona that fails !

if one thinks about the times in which the rules of catholicism were adhered to - it was to create and mainain a family unit to support the emotional and financial ubringing of a child.

they are saying - if your going to fuck each other - make a commitment - becuasse fucking = babies and babies = a lifetime.

which is fair enough in the days where there wasn;t contraception.

now it isnt necessary. the catholic church is draconian in this regard......one would think

so where there is no contraception being used one should be married.

and sweetheart - i am now using condescending tone when i say - how fucking likley is it that your not going to use contraception after 4 successive babies becuase your dp can't keep his dick in his pants?

if he wants to fuck you catholicly - you shoudl be married.

anything else is bullshit, pure bullshit. he has no commitment to his religeon if he is fucking you every which way but doing it "catholicly"

you are ghoing to get pregnant. its 2007 for gods sake c;mon.

Thankyou custardo for that uplifting and encouraging information. Very helpful and the tact you use is again commendable - note sarcastic tone!

sarcasm ?

noooooo!

Persona is 94% reliable I've been using it since it came out! I don't have any kids yet.... On a motherly note 1 in 10 in some areas have silent clamydia (a sexually transmitted infection - in the 18-29 age bracket) so your best bet is always a condom or femidom. If your partner has had other partners he may not even know he has had it!

If you are game, you can try the Billings method. If practised correctly it has a better protection rate than the pill.

However, it does require you to monitor your cycle and avoid the fertile days (ie the days you most feel like sex!)

It works for irregular cycles too.

It is very good for predicting your most fertile times if you are TTC too - that's what DH and I used it for

It was 'designed' by a woman for people who had no other access to contraception.

And by monitor your cycle I mean charting your mucus, not counting the days. You have to be vigillent!

From memory (I have a book somewhere) the gist of it is
-between start of AF and start of fertile period you can only have sex in the evening and only every second day
-During fertile period - no sex
-After fertile period - as much as you like until return of AF

But you must track your cycle every day.

I'm Catholic (mass nearly every week). I have always used contraception but wouldn't have an abortion unless I was in a desperate plight (eg, had been raped or was in danger healthwise if I continued).

We use condoms. I don't buy this 'we can't use them because we get so carried away' stuff. It takes seconds to put one on. Just seconds. We're not animals: at the whim of our hormones, we can take a small amount of time to be safe.

When I was in the sixth form a friend was sleeping with her boyfriend but wouldn't use contraception. She had a baby and her life was changed for ever. She never had the responsibility-free university experience the rest of us had.

haven't read absolutely all the thread

but it seems completely reasonable in my view for your dp and you to differentiate between having loving, committed sex and avoiding a situation where you would be eliminating a new life. seems to me that's very much in tune with everything good about christianity and catholicism.

i'm fiercely pro abortion rights but i completely understand where he is coming from. hope that some of the advice here is useful to you both.