TTC first baby... mega thread!

[Crossfitgirl]

For those of us TTC first baby, a continued thread for August 2018 :-) a place to share our new mummy journeys!

@Crossfitgirl so sorry love. I've been there and it sucks, I just had to keep reminding myself that for me it's all I focus on all month but for them it's just not on their radar as much. Maybe tomorrow when you've both had some time to think you could have a conversation about it and work out how he's feeling too. Maybe it's just a bit too much pressure on him? Men in my experience aren't very good at communication and instead just get moody/defensive and then shut down x

@Crossfitgirl I'm so sorry you've gone through that today. It makes you feel like why even tell them when you are yet you should as it's their journey too?! If I'm honest I don't anymore. It's easier. He knows when I'm doing it it's for a reason so 😂😂 as I'm not always up for it when he is too. I'd be upset too. And I don't think you're overreacting. It's an emotional mental rollercoaster for us ladies and the men don't get it. Sending you lots of love darling keep that head held high. When he wants it next turn him down... sometimes they need a taste of their own medicine!! Xxx

@Crossfitgirl sorry lovely that doesn't sound much fun at all... my DH hasn't got much of a sex drive either so it's difficult when the time is right to baby dance!

Thank you @sunshine1987 maybe tomorrow will be better. Today has been awful as our mortgage fell through, and we've been battling with solicitors and estate agents all day. it was all fine in the end but it has been a stressful day.
But we went for a run together and he seemed in a good mood after so after a shower I thought... hey you.
But yeah I guess it's still pressure. I'll try talk in the morning. I won't see him all night tomorrow!

@delilah7 thank you. I'll make sure when AF comes smack bang on our holiday, I'll let him know he could have avoided it had he just had sex with his wife that can ovulation day!!

They just don't have a clue. If only he could see this group and how much of our souls we put into this!

@Crossfitgirl I think it's more gutting to put yourself out there too to get knocked back. It hurts. Be kind to yourself, it's all so consuming for us that it's so shit when you gear up all month and it doesn't happen x

@Crossfitgirl unfortunately they'll never realise how much goes into this... because they're men. Be kind to yourself lovely x

@crossfitgirl aww it sounds like you’ve have a pretty awful day! You have every right to be upset and you had it spot on when you say we’ve all been ttc mentally for ages, don’t think they realise to be honest. I don’t tell him any of the fertile dates and stuff as I do worry that it would be a bit of a mood killer for him even though he’s on board in a “if it happens it happens” kind of way. I think if I specifically said today is the most likely day he would think oh s**t! I hope you manage to work things out tommorow!

@missrose0110 join us :)

Sounds like you've had a hell of a day @Crossfitgirl 😢 I think even with all the stress you've had going on all day, you'll have still had high on your priority list that DTD-ing must occur tonight... whereas I bet it went straight off DP's radar 😔 In his defence, he is male and he wouldn't have been able to hold it in his head whilst your mortgage stuff was kicking off - they're just not built that way! I know it's no consolation for this month, but maybe a good nights sleep and a heart to heart tomorrow when you've calmed down will help him understand why you're so upset?

Totally with you on this- had v similar experiences. Although tbf you have much more chance of conceiving than me as you had sex 3 days before ovulation which is good.

This may make you feel better (and cringe) ...I had to resort to a jizz scoop 1dpo this month having said no because he was too tired the rest of the fertile week and accidentally got it all over me in some sort of dirty protest

Ahh @Crossfitgirl sorry you're going through all that. I'd definitely try and have a chat with him sometime. Mine has been alot more on my side this month after a couple of traumatic ones, once he understood how upset I've been.

Stupidly excited tonight about another month with a positive OPK. Now for the wait....

@Crossfitgirl what a crappy day, poor you!
My DH was exactly the same our first cycle. I had a chat with him when I calmed down and asked him if he really wanted a family, he said he did and I explained that in order for that to happen we need to be having more sex in the fertile week. I told him the stats that even if we hit the nail on the head with timing it is still only 30% chance.
Talking it through seemed to help.
Maybe you could ask him if he wants to know when you're ovulating or if he would prefer if you just keep it to yourself? As perhaps the pressure is putting him off.
Men can be so frustrating though, I feel you're pain!

Hello ladies... I'm so sorry that some of you are suffering, sending good luck to all for bfps soon!  I was wondering whether anyone has ever heard of using a menstrual cup (like a moon cup or soft cup) to catch the sperm next to the cervix after DTD? I saw that this was 'a thing' on another TTC forum. I know it probably sounds far fetched but I'm willing to try anything! Part of me wonders whether the plastic they're made from might harm the sperm more than help them! What are your thoughts? X

Thinking of you crossfit xxx
I'm really not sure where I'm at these days, finished bleeding from the mc last week and dtd last night. Just woken up and dp has said there is a large clot in the toilet no idea what to think. Other than i think I need to see the gp. Hugs to all xxx

Thank you @sunshine1987 @delilah7
@proseccobee we actually had sex more around ovulation the last 2 months, when I didn't tell him at all!
@bambionice80 @cookiewaffle he came to me later and we did have a little bit of a heart to heart, he thinks I'm putting too much pressure on myself more than anything - I'm doing opks, tracking AND doing bbt this month, and he's right - look how much it's upset me when I haven't been able to dtd on the day I thought we should! I don't think I'm gonna temp next month. Although I haven't had a rise despite being what I thought was 1dpo today...

@flapjackered I have told him that before, about only having a few days per month where the timing is everything, and even then we might not catch on. He does get it, and he definitely does want babies as we've had that conversation again - its just hard to comprehend him saying no during that time! But, I guess if the tables were turned and he wanted sex and I wasn't in the mood, I might feel differently, but for me a baby is important enough for me to at least see if I can GET in the mood! Ah well. I just won't tell him next month!

@mrsr16 @poodlepip good to know it's not just me - love the dirty protest!! 😂😂

@buntingandstarcharts I have not heard of that... do you mean putting it in after sex to stop it coming out??

@bettyhop I hope you are ok... I'm sorry i dont know what is normal after MC and what isn't... were you told what to expect? Definitely give the GP a ring if you're worried. Xxx

@Crossfitgirl glad you sorted it out - you are putting too much pressure on yourself!! It's so easy to become obsessed with doing everything perfectly that I think it's easy to forget that we're supposed to enjoy it, not spend it worrying!

@buntingandstarcharts A couple of ladies that inseminate mentioned that they use one to help keep it in after! I don't unfortunately, sorry I can't be of more help x

@Bettyhop please call the GP, even if it's just for peace of mind x

@Delilah7 sorry if I've missed it, but did you manage to call the gp? Xx

After all that...

So even though I got a positive IC OPK on Monday, meaning ovulation was probbaly yesterday, the clear blue one has still been flashing smileys, and I've had faint/ no lines on the ICs since.

This morning I got a solid smiley on the clear blue... wtf?!

Now I have no idea when to count ovulation! Tomorrow??

Gonna see when my temp rises!

@Crossfitgirl I would go with the clearblue as it measures estrogen as well as LH. I reckon you should get your temp rise tomorrow or the day after. Maybe don't tell your DH about the static smiley though and just get seducing!

@Crossfitgirl I've noticed that everyone on here responds differently to charting, some find it really stressful, some obsess too much over it. I personally find it fascinating and it gives me this placebo effect that I have some control. It definitely helps to step away from it thought if it's getting too stressful. I suspect though from what he said that he was feeling the pressure too. Maybe a chilled month is what you both need.

Weirdly after a positive OPK yesterday I expected my temp to rise today too. Hopefully it happens tomorrow.

@buntingandstarcharts I've not heard of that one. Thought I have read that sperm quickly get to where they need to go so I can't see it being necessary as such.

@bettyhop tmi but sometimes after we DTD it does flush out a few things that were in there, maybe it was just left over xx

@flapjackered yeah I'm not going to say anything, we won't be able to dtd tonight as I'm out all evening and won't be back till late, but maybe tomorrow :-)
It's weird I had my positive 2 days before CB, but negatives on both in between?!

I am starting to think actually, maybe it IS best just to dtd when we feel like it, as much as possible in those 2 middle weeks of my cycle, and not give a shit about

Now I'm worried my LP is only gonna be about 8 days again - ah well!

@cookiewaffle I am gonna keep temping as I want to at least do it for 1 full month, and see how I feel next month about it. I may well give it up. My thermometer beeping is the most stressful thing I think, and it wakes DH up so it's on his mind first thing too.

@cookiewaffle @buntingandstarcharts I have also read that the sperm gets to where it needs to be regardless. The stuff that comes out is semen rather than sperm (fluid to help the sperm along) so although there's sperm in it, some also gets shot into your cervix, so the rest doesn't matter. Same goes for laying down for 10 mins after sex, and sticking to certain positions for gravity- although logically it would seem it'd help sperm along, and theres no harm in doing it, studies have shown no evidence that any of that stuff makes any difference, so essentially it doesn't matter if you don't try help the sperm. (Working in the nhs, I like to go with evidence based facts- there's so many myths out there that are just total crap!)

After all, our bodies were made to do it!

So this happened this morning!! I honestly can't believe it! I woke up DH to tell him and he didn't believe me at first! 2 days before our 1st anniversary! 😃

@purplestar9 congratulations!! Amazing news

Morning all! Hope everyone is feeling okay.

@Crossfitgirl I'm sorry you had a difficult day but your chat with DH sounded positive. Hopefully you can sneak in DTD later too

@Delilah7 and @bettyhop hope you are both okay too and get to see the GP to put your minds at rest.

I am so ridiculously tired this morning and haven't even got out of bed yet. And it's pissing down with rain. Really really don't want to go to work.

@purplestar9 oh my god I could cry!!!! This is such a lucky thread. Congratulations darling. How exciting!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

@CrystalBlaze got an appointment Friday morning To discuss my bloods and have swans etc xxx

@purplestar9 give me a reminder of how many cycles what you did etc xxx