TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Hi ladies, I hope it's ok for me to join this thread. Had my second miscarriage in June and me and hubby are trying again, been taking folic acid with vitamin d and bought superdrugs pregnancy advance vitamins which have omega 3 in so going to start taking them when I've finished the others. Haven't tracked ovulation, I think I might have ovulated, had sore boobs and felt sick, have done pregnancy test which have been negative, just don't know when to next take a test. Xx

Hi @Laura. Sorry you've found yourself here too. Do you know when your period is due?

Hoping you get your BFN then hopeful How are you feeling today? Mega admiration for anyone working nightshifts. I was a carer in a residential home many years ago and had to do it and it was brutal. Only got through it with biscuits.

Welcome Laura, very sorry for your losses How long ago do you think you ovulated? Limbo is such a head fuck. Please chat away here and ask/share anything you like. Everyone's lovely and having people to natter away to keeps me sane(ish!)

Love and thoughts to you today munchie and bean, hope all goes very well with appointments and scans. Easy to say and I do totally get how you feel munch, but try and stay optimistic. Checking back in all day, please let us know how you get on. And by some miracle yesterday we walked out of the lift, 20 minutes early, and he was striding down the corridor towards us! Was nice to see the maternity assessment unit where we had the scan. I felt a bit teary at the boards of thank you cards and baby announcement photos.

Congratulations shouldn't be remotely complicated but it so is sometimes. I bucked and told my boss the other day as I was stressing about being out for appointments and thought looking like I'm taking the piss rather than just being knocked up was potentially more damaging for job security and career progression. Time will tell... She said congrats and I just said thanks, not really there yet but appreciate the sentiment.

I am Labmum, I've previously thought I was 12 weeks but not actually got a fetus past 9 till now. How are you doing?

You talk a lot of sense miami, I'm going to try and chill the fuck out a little bit. Ha! Being away next week will hopefully help.

How was DH's birthday?!

Hi @Hopefulforourrainbow have no idea when my period is due 9th of August I had what was the start was red on the pad then nothing until the 16th of August when it was brown on the towel and just the smallest amount of light pink on the tissue paper. X

Hi@AnneLovesGilbert have no idea when I ovulated as haven't been tracking it, could have been within the last week or so possibly as felt more moist (sorry for tmi) and felt different in myself. Limbo is such a head fuck. Got my little boy to distract me most of the time. Thanks for letting me join it's good to chat with ladies who know how you're feeling. Xx

Thanks @Anne! Seems strange wanting a negative. Would stress so much being pregnant on holiday! I'm feeling much better thanks though have been awake since 2am! Still bleeding but it's not bright red or as heavy as a usual period. No period pains. Started pinky/brown, then there was a little red and a bright red clot then back to pink and now more brown. It's very strange. I normally have bright red for a few days.
I keep checking to see how everyone's appointments have been too!

@Laura how have your cycles been since mc? Was it a natural mc? My cycles were all over the place after mmc. I didn't have a proper period for over 3 months then bled for well over a month.

Thats wonderful @Anne. what reassured me a tiny bit was the stats on the miscarriage association website show that when a heartbeat is detected at 10 weeks the chance of a miscarriage is the same as at 12 weeks (1%). And that is in women with a history of recurrent miscarriage apparently. Its so lovely to see them wriggling in the screen too.

I'm ok thanks, just keeping a bit quiet on here at the moment as I'm in that limbo between 12 week and 20 week scans where I'm not feeling movement yet. I'm getting a bit of a bump but some people might just think I've eaten all the pies in the pie shop and its just feeling like a long time since I've had any sort of reassurance that everything is ok in there. I'm seeing the RMC antenatal care team next Thursday so I'm hoping they'll do a doppler and let me listen to the heartbeat and stop my mind from going into overdrive thinking somethings gone wrong. And then I can start worrying about the 20 week scan and them finding something wrong at that. It really annoys me the number of people who seem to think that the 20 week scan is just to find out if you're having a girl or a boy.....its not. It's another possibility for your world to fall apart again. Urgh! Sorry, don't mean to be negative and bring everyone down.
Anyways on a more positive note I'm off to Italy for the bank holiday weekend, the weather forecast is rubbish so we'll just have to sit in cafes and eat yummy food instead!

@Hopefulforourrainbow cycles have been here there and everywhere, 12th of July had what the hospital called a brisk loss which can happen after erpc really heavy for one day then tailed off to light for about eleven days. Then red for a day or so on 9th of August then brown on pad on 16th of August and just very light watery pink when I wiped and then nothing. Xx

That sounds a bit like what I had. I'd wait another week or so then test again if I were you.

Verdict is we don’t know. Possibly a hb but very faint and therefore they won’t say if it is one or not. They questioned my dates which stressed me out as it’s an ivf pregnancy so we know exactly. . Repeat scan next week.

Such a horribly up and down morning and now I feel really down.
So we were late into our RMC appointment by an hour, the reg who I hadn't seen before did the scan and couldn't find anything at all.
Made me do a pregnancy test which was positive.
So they sent me to the early pregnancy unit who got me in an hour later. By this point I was worrying that it was ectopic etc and the options we will have.
Got scanned and they saw a clear sac and yolk. So they believe I should be 4 maybe 5 weeks.
From my last period I am 7 weeks but due to ovulating late etc I was thinking more 6 weeks. They've booked me in for another scan in 10 days.....I think I'll miscarry before then or I'll get to the scan and they'll be no change.
Hate being in limbo. I'm happy that it's not ectopic but so fed up that this is my 5th pregnancy and nothing is ever straight forward. Frustrated that RMC couldn't find anything yet the EPU easily did.
Just want to hibernate/sleep/cry for the next 10 days xx

Oh bean sorry cross post. What a day we've both had!! Huge hugs to you too xx

Oh @bean and @munchies, big hugs to you both! Limbo sucks!

@bean and @munchies sending lots of love and hugs. It's horrible being limbo. Hoping for a positive outcome for you both xxx

Oh munchies. It’s all a bag of shit right? I do think it’s scanner dependant. They said to me for “normal” pregnancies they don’t worry unless no hb at 7 weeks. However that doesn’t feel reassuring xx

Oh loves, both of you xxxx

Was it an abdominal scan at RMC munch? How about the EPU? I know it's a faff but I always wish they'd go straight for dildo cam rather than insisting on abdominal first, seeing nothing, panicking, having to dash for a wee, whole rigmarole again and then there bloody IS something there after all. 10 days is going to feel like a decade, can you push to go back in a week? It'll still drag but you just need to know don't you. It is good it's not ectopic but not knowing what's going on when you thought you were 6 or 7 weeks must feel like crap. I'm so sorry.

bean what a fucking mare. Have you got a date for repeat scan? I'm so sorry. The added stress of IVF and everything you've been through must be just exhausting. Biggest hugs to you xxx

x post. Yeah, really bloody helpful... We've talked about the importance of words on here in the past and "normal" doesn't sound helpful or particularly support if you don't tick that box. Did they mean because of the potential difference in dates?

Bean and Munchies I’m sorry you had a rough morning.

FWIW it is very scanner dependent. I had a scan at 6+2 this pregnancy, after bleeding. First radiographer could only see a sac and dated me at maybe 5 weeks, then second had a go and found a flickering heartbeat and put me at 5+6. That was using the same machine in the same clinic. It’s very inaccurate so early. Which is obviously no comfort to either of you when you are in limbo but it’s not always bad news if very early scans are inconclusive.

Thanks both. I’ve got a repeat next Thursday. Will try to remain positive. At least I haven’t bled again. Husband and I both thought we saw something flicker so perhaps they are being extra cautious.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I'm going to sit on my hands and do another test like you suggested in a week or so, now I've got round to the idea of trying again it's on my mind alot. Xx

Oh fingers crossed @bean! Was it first try at ivf? We received information this week that we can have IVF in 5 months if this one doesn't stick.

Thanks lovelies. Yes dildo cam both times- different medicines but the second person definitely knew how to use the machine etc better than the first.
I probably should of asked for 7 days rather than their advice of 10 as that's the first day of my husband's new job so will feel extra bad on him if he has to go in after a bad scan.

I'm so sorry I've not replied to any other comments- my concentration has fully gone and I'm about to meet my boss to tell her I haven't been at work today and why. She wouldn't of noticed but want to give the heads up in case of a near future miscarriage.

Hope everyone has nearly finished work for bank holiday weekend xx

This is number 4 for us munchie. I’ve had 4 spontaneous pregnancies but this is the first ivf that has seemingly got a chance.

Oh @beanhunter and @Munchies89 this is super shit. For my two cents worth in this pregnancy at the epu they told me at 6weeks that the hb was slow and that measurements were much behind dates. They told me to expect to miscarry. When I saw my consultant exactly 4 days later all was fine. Hb and measurements. So sometimes it really is the case that it can be too early. One of the things the epu lady said to me really stuck with me. She said that they actually don't know what is 'normal' at that gestation because actually the only reason scanning is done so early (circa 6 wks) is because something is already causing concern. So not to panic too much.

Oh @bean and @munchies I’m sorry you’ve had a rough day, the state of limbo is so tough and I’m sure it will be a long wait but as everyone has said there are so many variables at such an early stage with who is doing the scan etc that it may be a case of it’s too early to tell, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
I’ve had a tough couple of days, I had been really sure I wanted to try again straight away but now I’m starting to doubt that, period is due next week so will see if that comes And then I may suggest a bit of a break to hubby.
Plus I had bloods taken this week as I’ve been feeling exhausted, had assumed it was low iron as I had that after another miscarriage but i had a phone call today and apparently iron is fine but the dr wants to see me about the results for my neutrophils levels, so obviously off I went straight to google which came up with all sorts of scary stuff and have got myself into a right old tizz!

Thank you ladies for all of your kind words and reassurance. I had a lot of cramps yesterday following the 2 internal scans so kept expecting a bleed to start but so far nothing and cramps have gone. Will be on knicker check until the scan but I think that's normal anyway.
@bean hope you're okay and trying to keep your mind busy.
Oh no @MissPMA when have you arranged an appointment to see your GP? What do you think hubby will say in regards to a break if you come on next week?
That's really interesting @miami81. I tried to look at other scans and information only too. A lot of information said that you wouldn't see the yolk until 5 weeks so but unsure why she said 4-5 weeks...maybe to do with size of sac etc....we will see in 9 days.
Hi @lauraliverpool so sorry I didn't mean to ignore your posts yesterday. Welcome and I hope you find this group as useful as I do. Everyone is so supportive and totally gets the highs and lows we experience. Xx