TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

So very pleased and relieved for you hopeful,was checking in while juggling insane twins on a day out in London!

Haha thanks @Anne! Hope you had a good day out!

I’ve been thinking of you and I’m so pleased all is well with you and your baby. I was there a couple of months ago and we all need the good news stories.

Thank you. I’m beyond exhausted, I ache like a bastard and it was brilliant London is the best and they had such a good time. They’re little sponges at the moment and into everything.

I’ve just checked in and wanted to say I’m so, so pleased for you @hopefulforarainbow It’s the best news! Crossing all my fingers and toes that things progress well. Sending positive vibes that it’ll work out this time!

Everyone else from earlier in the are also are going well Anne and Miami and Labmum I can’t believe how far into your pregnancies you are now!

FMU - wow, what a rollercoaster! But a good outcome for your baby daughter. Newbies mooncup and others, I’m so sorry you are here! I’m not much help, I’ve very little medical knowledge and not seen a rmc specialist yet. I’ve sort of put my head in the sand each time, but know how you feel. It’s so utterly shit!

Update from me, reading on the thread as I’m having a sleepness night. I’ve been avoiding all pregnancy related reading (including Mumsnet)! Not much update from me: no news on my referral to RMC, it’s been 2 months now. I can’t decide whether to chase them up or not. Thought I might give them 3 before pursuing, its seems like mental energy I don’t want to use up until next year (gearing myself up for it)

I’m about the ‘self care’ now I’ve had couple of spa days (instead of spending my money on fertility acupuncture/ovulation gear/ttcing related things)! I’ve been catching up with friends who’ve I’ve been avoiding and let them know what has been going on. Despite two of my best friends both being in their 3rd trimesters (they were both my bridesmaids 11 months ago) they have been absolutely lovely. I should have shared it with them much sooner rather than keep it to myself.

I still feel a bit ‘funny’ or ‘strange’ about this rmc experience. The counsellor I’m seeing and my DH are viewing it as ‘bad luck’, but until I see someone who is specialist in this, I’m trying my very best to get into the ‘zen’ zone!

Lovely to hear from you @CurlyTwirlyTwos. I've been thinking of you and have been wondering how you're doing. I'm glad you've been able to confide in friends. I don't know what I'd have done without the support of my friends this past year or so. It has been hard as they have all had a baby or 2 since my hubby and I started trying but I've got to be happy for them too. Look after yourself and pop in any time to let us know how you're doing. Hopefully you'll get your appointment through soon.

Lovely to hear from you @curlytwirlytwos. I'd be tempted to ring up about the referral of you've heard nothing. I got a letter after about 6 weeks with an appointment for 2-3 months time so even if it's a long wait for the appointment I'd have expected to have heard something by now? No harm in chasing it up if you've got the phone number. But obviously if it's going to cause more stress to be thinking about it you can always leave it for a bit?

@Hopefulforourrainbow that's fantastic news I'm so pleased for you! I hope you're still resting and relaxing xx
I have a gp appointment with someone who seems to be the most knowledgeable about all things fertility wise, not til 22nd nov though. In the mean time I'm also in the self care zone, I had a spa day last week and have another week off to look forward to. I need to sort out some Accupuncture - has anyone else tried it? X

Thank you @norbert23. Yes resting and relaxing. Currently sitting in my pjs, feet up, fire lit and a cup of decaf tea thinking about all the housework I should be doing. Spa sounds good. Yeah i tried acupuncture. Didn't really like the woman doing it but it was strangely relaxing. Much better than my reflexology experience!

@Hopefulforourrainbow that sounds like a story! I was debating Accupuncture or reflexology so do tell! Glad your having a pj day xxx

She thought of herself as a bit of a psychic. Told me I had a blockage in my bowel, a blockage in a fallopian tube and said that I wasn't going to like it but it wasn't my time to have a baby even though all I want is to be a mum. I felt really uneasy about it all. She also said my pelvis was out of alignment and tried to put it back in place!

@Hopefulforourrainbow that was a reflexologist? Wow! My one is the opposite. Was it a fertility specialist? My lady mostly deals with women with fertility issues/miscarriage (she's experienced it herself). She normally just tells me about my uterus/ovaries/hormones and what she thinks they are doing according to my feet (like a bit puffy on a specific bit of foot suggests thicker womb lining). But I've never had anything at all like that! Don't blame you for being put off xxx

No she's just a general reflexologist. It wasn't what I expected at all. She was asking if I wanted to know the sex of the babies we'd lost etc too. Was really weird!

Hey. Hope you're all having a nice weekend. I'm bleeding a bit again. Light pink when wiping. Have had lower back pain too and my boobs are softer than they have been. Just called epau and they said to keep an eye on it and it should settle. If it gets worse I've to call them back. They said its a good sign that I had a good scan on Thursday.

I hope it settles down and is just one of those weird things @Hopefulforourrainbow - I know it's hard to relax though and keep positive but do try and take it easy xx

Thanks @norbert23. Wish I could just press fast forward!

@moonpeace the only thing I did differently was take cyclogest from 5 weeks, I’d had spotting/bleeding for 10 days by that point exactly the same as two of my previous early losses so assumed it was ending but from the evening I started taking it the bleeding stopped, there doesn’t seem to be huge amounts of evidence of it preventing miscarriage but I’m sure it helped me.
@nobert23 I had acupuncture and really disliked it but that was due to the acupuncturist rather than the actual process, she constantly told me I’d have problems conceiving due to my ‘advanced age’ (I’m 36!), blamed my daily cup of coffee as the cause of my losses and basically told me I should give up on ttc, she made me feel v tense and it put me off having treatments elsewhere for a while. So I’d recommend phoning a few and find one that you really click with before you book them in.
You are really going through it at the moment @hopeful, I know it’s difficult but try to rest if not relax, having a healthy scan puts the odds in your favour and I hope that the bleeding stops soon x

@Hopefulforourrainbow I don't blame you, it's really hard. Sending hugs and lots of good energy!
Thanks @MissPMA and hopeful for the Accupuncture advice, I think I found a nice one but need to call her back tomorrow. She sounds pretty normal! You guys both had very weird ones I don't know what I would've said / done!

Thank you. So far there hasn't been any more since I posted earlier. I read something about placenta implanting between 7 and 9 weeks and my hubby said they mentioned that the other day at the scan too. That appointment was a bit of a blur for me! I'm going to take this week off work. I have quite a demanding job and I'm on my feet for 12.5hrs so prob best not going in.

Definitely have the week off, sleep, read, have a bath and binge on Netflix 😀 I'm glad things seem to have settled x

Hey guys. Hope you're all well. I'm looking for some advice. Since I've had some bleeding/spotting I've been feeling super anxious. The spotting on Sunday stopped pretty much as quickly as it started, there was a couple of streaks of red in cm last night and a tiny amount of brown cm this morning. I am so scared of mc again and can't seem to relax at all. I spoke to GP yesterday and she has signed me off for a week. Hubby thinks I should get signed off until next scan at 10 weeks and my auntie who is a retired midwife says i should get signed off til 12 weeks. I know it's good to keep busy but this is the busiest time of year at work and I don't feel I could deal with the stress of looking after sick people while being understaffed and having added winter pressures. Have you who are pregnant again felt the same? I'm normally quite a positive person but as soon as there's more blood or my boobs aren't as sore I'm freaking out. HELP!!!!

Hi @hopeful, I’m not surprised you’re feeling like that, you’ve been through and are still going through so much and anxiety is a perfectly normal response to that. I’ve found this pregnancy hard in terms of the sickness/nausea plus the constant worry, knicker checking and I’ve struggled with sleep at times, have dreams about bleeding etc. I’m also usually very positive but I’ve not dared let myself get my hopes up or think about a happy ending this time. I’m lucky that I can work from home as much as I want, so I’ve not actually been in my office for 4 weeks now, plus work has been going through a quiet phase so I’ve managed to get some rest during that time however in a way I regret not booking a chunk of time off to just focus on me and my well being. So if you’re in any doubt about whether you should work or not I’d say you should get booked off until 10 weeks, see how you feel after the scan and then consider extending it for another 2 weeks. You’re only looking at a short amount of time off in the grand scheme of things and it sounds like you’ve got a tough job so you need to be putting yourself first

Thanks guys. It's such a worrying time when it should be exciting. I wish we could just enjoy this. I've not really had much in the way of pregnancy symptoms. Wish I did as the lack of symptoms is something else to worry about! How many week are you now @misspma?

@hopefulforarainbow - I’m thinking of you lots. Thursday does seem an age away when things can look uncertain. Echoing what others have said, please take the time off work if you’ve offered it.

You can always go in if you are feeling stir crazy!

Like @MissPMA focus on yourself and relaxing if you can, it’s important!

Thinking of you xx

I’ve also got an (another) update,
I never expected to be back on the thread
after last week with the news that I’m approx 5 weeks pregnant (again). I’m not feeling great tbh, but I don’t know where else to turn, and I can’t face telling anyone in person yet.

This is totally unplanned - we only dtd 4/5 times the whole month and firmly outside FW. Maybe a couple of days before and a fair few days afterwards. I made sure. I been staring at the preg test this weekend trying to work out why this is happening to me.

I don’t the strength to do this again. I really don’t, my DH and I are not in a great place. I told him yesterday after keeping it to myself for a few days. He was quite impassive and I can tell he’s not happy though he’s not articulated this.

I’m feeling a bit fragile and dogbone tired. I’m not sure whether I’m queasy at the though of yet another mmc or it’s the early pregnancy. I’m certain it’s the former at this stage.

I can’t help but feel pessimistic and miserable about this, as at the moment it feels like a foregone conclusion of what will happen.

I’m sorry to ask for your help again, especially after dropping off the thread - but what (in your opinion) is the best approach to this?

I’m thinking about calling the EPAU and asking them for an early scan but I seriously do not want to go there again for the 4th time this year. The women there must think I’m so irresponsible for even getting pregnant yet again so soon. It sounds silly but I’d feel embarrassed going in especially if it’s yet another mmc.

Googling private scans this morning, despite not having a good experience previously and vowing never to return. If isn’t right - I’d be back at the EPAU anyway. There are also very few who will do one at 6 weeks, and the recommendation is waiting until 8 weeks. I’ve done this before and it didn’t turn out well.

I’ve been trying to pretend this isn’t happening to me esp when AF was late, I feel sick at the thought. I wasn’t prepared for positive pregnancy test this month, not until next year.

I’m feeling a bit of a mess, yet hoping it might work out this time.

I’m also really apologetic to you on the thread - I’ve been AWOL for months, yet have come running back straight away when shit hits. I’m posting as an afterthought really.....

Can anyone give any words of wisdom?