TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

@irony I’m angry on your behalf. My husband and I aren’t on the best terms at the mo as I don’t feel he’s being very supportive of how crap I feel and how it’s been tough. Blokes are rubbish sometimes

@irony and @bean I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's crappy how much the stress of pregnancy and miscarriage affects relationships. I hope you have people around you who you can turn to for support or venting.
I'm really low at the moment. I had a few days after the miscarriage where I was trying to be positive and proactive, and now there's nothing left to do but wait and try not to think about how I may have to go through this over and over and might still not get to be a mum. I hate this.

Sending you a massive hug oddsbobbins, I have had many a lonely 3am musing on exactly what you're going through and it sucks to high heaven, I'm so sorry. It's hateful and unjust and cruel and awful. People who pick themselves up after repeated losses and just keep going are some of the most resilient people I know and you do it because you have no choice. What's the alternative to cracking on, giving up? And you're not there, you're just taking some time to heal and look after yourself, your body and heart and spirit need to rest and mend and then you'll carry on. We're all here for you x

The feeling of not trusting your body is so painful and I found doing things that consciously helped me reconnect with it - what was good, whole, capable, strong, beautiful, about it made a big difference in my head. I love a bath so made time for long soaks with nice products, took up Pilates, started going to acupuncture, made a lot of healthy delicious salads and baked quite a lot of cakes, bought a nice top, had some sex. Things which are normal and feed good.

When I was getting over my first MMC I remember feeling really crappy and sore and tired lounging around on the sofa in my PJs, deciding to paint my nails and being amazed (and slightly embarrassed! ) that it made such a difference.

So sorry oddsbobbins fingers crossed it'll happen for you soon!

20 week scan today for me at 10.20,which should be such a happy occasion. Fingers crossed things don't look too awful on the scan. Despite my best efforts, I'm finding myself hoping after reading one, single, solitary good outcome on Google of someone whose baby has the exact same problems as mine. Obviously not paying attention to the 100+ bad stories I've read. This situation sucks beyond belief.

Everything crossed irony x

Thinking of you @irony

How did you get on irony? Thinking of you x

So, baby is still doing fine, happily kicking away in there. Still consistently measuring 2 weeks behind.

I've officially been diagnosed with oligohydramnios (low fluid) and they've diagnosed baby's right kidney with hydronephrosis and said its severely multicystic. They can't 'confidently' visualise the left kidney.

But on the other hand, my fluid has slightly increased, and there is no drop off in growth, fetal movement or fetal heartbeat. Also found out baby is a girl too.

Hoping for reasonably good news on Monday.

A little girl, how lovely!

That all sounds positive @irony. Fingers crossed they come up with a plan going forward and that the left kidney is fine and just hiding. Could they do an MRI to visualise it better? My friend took part in a study which involved an MRI scan and the detail they could see was just amazing!

Have things calmed down with DH now? Have you had chance to talk things through?

labmum I haven't asked, will ask on Monday at the FMU appointment.

Yes, things have calmed down a little, I think he's realised that getting pissed and shouting at me will achieve nothing but his bags packed. I'm still not completely thawed out with him, but things are better.

I'm glad things are better at home irony and that your scan brought some good news. I think you're amazing, you're dealing with stuff no one should have to face and you're so strong and resilient. A baby girl! Do you have a name for her?

That sounds really interested Labmum, do you know your friend was in the study?

How is everyone this week?

Are you back hopeful? How are you getting on with your supplements?

Thank you anne we do, we've decided on Evelyn. Still a little stuck on a middle name as my OHs contribution is a tad redneckish :/ but I'm sure we'll come up with something.
How are things going for you?

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm not 100% on the purpose of the study, I think it may have been a birth weight estimation study, she was recruited as a healthy control. I just remember her showing me some of the images she got from it and they were so detailed it was amazing!
St Mary's in Manchester have loads of studies going on and as we both work in research we're happy to help others by taking part. I took part in a pre-term labour one with my DS but unfortunately there's no studies recruiting healthy controls at the moment so I'm not taking part in any this time but will be signing up to the cord blood donation again.

Oh I LOVE that! What a beautiful name

I'm well thank you. Had a scan yesterday and been discharged from the RMC which is great but nerve wracking at the same time. Got 16 week apt with midwife at my GP surgery in two weeks and have to ask them to refer me to my normal RMC consultant so I can see him every 4 weeks to manage meds and have scans but he said the admin will be a battle so we'll see. Given my history I'll def have a consultant but I only want him.

Finished antibiotics yesterday and finishing steroids tomorrow so left with fragmin, aspirin and cyclogest and the latter now for at least another 10 weeks then a very gradual wean off. But no pills and I can have a lie in and stop forcing food down as soon as I wake up, pretty excited about that.

@irony I love the name Evelyn. It was top of my girls list but DH has no taste and veto-ed it!

Sounds fascinating labmum and how lovely for her to see it. I'm happy to sign up to anything, might not make a difference now but like the idea of other people having an easier ride and even better care in future.

Is the cord blood for your baby or for research?

@AnneLovesGilbert its a donation to the Anthony Nolan cord blood bank, there's only 5 hospitals in the country that can accept and process the donations and as I'm going to one of them I feel like I should.

I love the name too :) was either that or francesca but my OH hates that one.
anne I'm actually so excited that things are going well for you! Eeek!

Lots to catch up on! Sorry you've been having such a tough time @irony and @odds. Glad to hear things are looking a bit more positive @irony and how lovely, a baby girl. Wow 16 weeks @Anne! We're still away. Having a great time. Home at the weekend which is such a thought! I've been taking the seven seas trying for a baby vitamins and vitamin b6. I normally bleed again a couple of days after AF and didn't have that this month so looks like the b6 is doing something! Have had some twinges which could be ovulation. It's hard to tell but hopefully there'll be a bfp in the next few weeks!

That sounds very promising hopeful. Everything crossed for a brilliant egg and a bfp very soon. Sending all the vibes! Are you feeling rested and recharged? 14 weeks at the mo, can’t quite believe it but my DSC are giving us constant reminders. I’m trying to hold off buying anything despite thinking I might at this point. They’re obsessed with Harry Potter and want to get it a wand

I suspect the reality of a sibling may be somewhat different to what they’re expecting!

Thank you irony x I think Evelyn is beautiful, definitely the right choice for your baby girl.

It’s a lovely thing to do labmum. Nothing available round here but such a worthy cause. How are you doing?

Hi everyone, @irony that's a beautiful name, my mum is called Evelyn 🙂 wow @Anne that's flew by! seen some cute Harry potter baby clothes in the shops! @Hopeful glad to hear you're having a great holiday! We go to Anglesey tomorrow for our anniversary next week, looking forward to a little family holiday. @Lab I think that's a fab thing to do! I think I might be ovulating, sorry for tmi but thought I'd wet myself before but hadn't, I hope I am 🙂 xx

I hope you are too laura, it’s the oddest feeling isn’t and I swear I never noticed it till we started ttc. Do you get ovulation pain? I used to get a sharp stab on whichever side it was and always felt quite pleased to have an inkling of what was going on. I didn’t get it after my last mc but still got loads of ewcm and was also temping which I loved. Ttc is a head fuck so any clues about what’s happening are welcome!

Happy anniversary, hope you have an amazon trip Perfect time for a massive shag fest!

We’re away next week too. No reason just using up leave and so so so god damn desperate for a rest. My work has ramped up again after a quieter couple of weeks and my brain is fried.

I’ll keep an eye out for HP stuff. Personally couldn’t give a stuff about it but the kids are obsessed and seems wise to jump on board!

@Anne I really hope so, today I've noticed dull lower back ache and then I've got sorry for tmi like this wet sensation. Last night just last for a few minutes like a stabbing pain by my left hip. Arrh thank you 🙂 packed some sexy underwear so hoping for a massage shag fest haha!!

Trying to conceive is a head fuck just don't realise how much goes into it. I think that's a great idea just getting away be good for you to get a rest and a change of scene.

Have seen lots of guess how much I love you bits, got lots when I was pregnant with my son, love all things like that. Xx

@Anne Primark have loads of Harry Potter baby clothes (and older kids, but no toddler stuff annoyingly!)

The stabbing pain is the one Laura! TMI away love, if this isn't the place for that then where is Sounds like you're definitely ovulating so get on it!

I need to see if any of my sexy underwear still fits! Hard to describe quite how grim my belly looks, it's covered in black injection dots and bruises in black, blue, green, yellow and purple. DH is so sweet about it but I've caught him wincing because it looks sore even if it isn't so I'm trying not to feel self conscious about it.

I'll keep a look out Labmum, thank you!