TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Have an amazing holiday hopeful! Sunshine and wine sound like very good things.

I’ve been on a mini-break with DH, so a belated hopeful congratulations MissPMA. I got a rather tentative but definitely there according to DH BFP this morning. Really not sure how to think about it. There’s a part of me that just wants to get mc 3 over and done with so I can get a rmc referral, but then that’s a terrible thing to think when getting such potentially good news.

Oh @oddsbobbins that’s promising news but I totally get the conflict of feelings, how many dpo are you?

Thanks @labmum and @bean for your responses, it was much appreciated yesterday after not getting anything from rmc. if things stay put over the weekend I’m going to call EPU on Monday.

I hope everyone’s having a good weekend, we’ve got a busy one which will be good to keep our minds off things although we do have a pub lunch tomorrow with friends where I’ll have to think of an excuse not to drink

Sorry ladies I haven't been on here as much since my last scan but still thinking of you all and looking forward to hearing about more BFP and scans.

Congratulations @MissPMA and @Oddsbobbins we are here with you every step of the way. How frustrating about the referral @MissPMA.

@LabMum hey hun wow 16 weeks already. So good to hear everything is going well. I've been pretty tearful since the last scan and want to get the next week over with so we can put our name down for IVF. Scan and plan will be on Monday.

@Hopefulforourrainbow have an absolutely amazing holiday! Most gorgeous place in the world.

@AnnelovesGilbert that's hilarious about your DSS! Love childrens curiosity and innocence.

@Lauraliverpool did AF show up?

@bean hope you're doing okay and your next scan comes around quickly x

@Munchies it's such a difficult time for you, the waiting in limbo is awful. Got everything crossed for Monday! Understand needing to take a break, do what you need to to get through this next week but know we're here if you need us.

@oddbobbins congratulations, hope all goes well for you this time. If you contact your EPU they should be able to arrange an early scan for you.

@MissPMA enjoy your weekend (you had far too much wine last night and are feeling really ropey aren't you so better just have an orange juice ). And definitely kick up a fuss through PALS about your referral, they're really helpful. After my first MC (discovered at 12 week scan) the hospital I was at was crap, was told I had to come back 4 days later as they has no sonographers free to confirm MC, I miscarried naturally whilst waiting for that scan, was offered no follow up, no scan 2 weeks later to check all had come away. I bled heavily for 6 weeks and kept ringing and they just said "oh it's normal"! My cycles were really off afterwards and 6 months later I'd still not conceived again so I complained through PALS. They gave me a gynae scan to check everything out. Needless to say I never went back to that hospital for maternity services again (even though I work there)!

@Munchies89 I have lower backache and lower tummy ache, sore boobs up til now no af, I've roughly worked out it could be wed. How are you? Xx

@oddsbobbins congratulations,how are you feeling? Xx

Thanks everyone, I'm currently fluctuating between hopeful and terrified. I actually have a scan tomorrow to see what my various fibroids are up to in a non-pregnant state (oops!), but I'm wondering if there will be anything to see?

@MrsPMA I don't really know how many dpo I am, I have irregular cycles and don't track ov closely, but I'm thinking around 11 dpo. How about you?

Thinking of you waiting for your scans @bean and @Munchies, being in limbo is the worst.

Thanks @Lauraliverpool, I'm feeling ok, had non-stop indigestion for about 10 days now which was a bit of a clue, but that's all for the moment. Hope you have the early signs of a BFP, when are you planning to test?

@oddsbobbins I'm thinking af, been bit more brown on the tissue and my back is aching more, I'm hoping it's not af, was going to try and hold out til wed or Sunday to test. Xx

I've decided if af does show up, I'm going back to my clear blue monitor. X

Has AF showed up @Lauraliverpool?

I thought I was starting to miscarry last night but turns out it was just a tiny but of brown spotting. I was slightly relieved when I thought it was the start of mc as I've been worried about what management to go with this time after I have the scan tomorrow. I've had 2 natural miscarriages and 2 surgical which was good for testing however this time I didn't think there was going to be anything to test so was planning to discuss taking the medication....please could you let me know your opinions and experiences on medical management? Xx

@Munchies89 I'm really not sure, I've got the backache and I'm spotting brown and light red I'm going to see what it's like on wed and might test. I really hope everything will be ok for you, might just be old blood. I had surgery for my most recent miscarriage and I'm glad I did because my first miscarriage I had medical management which you have like a mini labour I will be honest with you and don't want to scare you but it was horrendous all part of a miscarriage is no matter what way you look at it. They give you one set of tablets then tell you to come in 48hrs later for the second lot. I did a test as advised by the hospital and it was still positive so went in for surgery but I was scared about being put asleep, so they gave me tablets again which failed and in the end had surgery which I think helps you heal in some way emotionally to heal and don't want it to sound bad but it's not dragged out. Xx

@Lauraliverpool hopefully implntation spotting, fx for you on Weds.

@Munchies89 - I've had one each way, for me the surgical management was better as medical management was pretty painful and the memory of having a mini labour at home is one I still struggle with. That said, some people find the idea of a surgical procedure harder to deal with, and it's such an individual choice. If I had to have medical management again I would ask for anti-nausea pills as feeling sick and in pain was particularly unpleasant for me.

My scan today was darkly hilarious. I let the very lovely radiographer know that I'd tested positive but that I expected I wasn't even at 4 weeks yet so there probably wouldn't be anything to see. My fibroids don't seem to be a huge problem, but she couldn't find where the pregnancy was located. Because pregnancy isn't her area, she started to worry I'm having an ectopic and wanted to send me straight off to the EPU. (Cue questions such as- do I know what the EPU is? Oh yes, yes I do.) Around this point I started laughing helplessly and found it hard to stop. DH and I were then sent back off to the waiting room while she made various calls, before bringing us back in to say there's probably nothing to worry about as it's still so early, but she'll write to my GP and advise I get referred to the EPU. DH doesn't seem to find this all quite as hilarious as I do, may be losing the plot a bit.

@munchies I don’t really have any advice, all of mine were natural but for the first one I lost a lot of blood and ended up in hospital so if I got to a similar stage again and had to decide I think I would go for the op. I’m sorry that you are having to think about this and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow.
@oddsbobbins I’m sorry you had to go through that today, it must have been scary when she started mentioning etopics. To try to reassure you on the day I found out I was pregnant with my ds1 I was booked in for a scan as we’d been ttc for a long time, so I told the lady I was 4weeks pregnant and she said that it was too early and there would be nothing to see, so try not to worry although I know that’s not easy when you’ve had previous losses. I’m 17dpo, hardly any spotting today, I had kind of accepted on Thursday it was all over but don’t know what to think now and trying not to get my hopes up

@oddsbobbins I'm hoping so! Wait and see for the next few days. Xx

Oh bless you odd, I’m terrible for getting fits of hysterics at the worst times. I figure it’s better out than in and sod what anyone else thinks. Conversely I also sob when I’m happy or things go well. When I’ve had bad scans in the past I don’t emote at all and can crack on just fine with whatever needs sorting. When we had our good scan just about 10 days ago I got through it okay and the relief that this one might actually work overtook me in the loo and I bawled for about half an hour. DH knows me well but my poor consultant was appalled and kept saying nothings wrong, you can be happy and I kept crying and saying I know, I know, I can’t believe, I’m just happy

My clinic is ridiculous about scans and I had an appointment when I got my bfp at 3+5 they insisted I had a scan and all they could see was “a thick endometrium”. I’m sure it’s all fine and in nestled in the right place. Everything crossed for you.

munchie, I desperately hope you don’t need to go through your options and your scan brings reassurance all is well. Sending many thoughts to you. I had medical management with my first mmc which unfortunately didn’t work and ended up having the surgery under a local, which I also don’t recommend... I found out at 12 week scan the baby had stopped growing at 8+5 so they didn’t want me to wait for it to pass naturally and I turn had two lots of medical management neither of which worked. In my head I wanted to go through the process and be at home as a way of coming to terms with it but despite quite a lot of bleeding I knew it wasn’t really happening and some tissue got stuck so in the end it wasn’t going to as my cervix Judy wouldn’t properly open. They said it was unusual for it not to work on two doses but my cervix seems to be very stubborn and even with a 5 week natural mc and a chemical it took a week even once hcg was way down to happen.

If you need to, ask for the likely outcome of medical and what they suggest. With my April mmc the consultant suggested an ERPC straight away and it was a relative breeze. Quick, painless, staff were so kind and supportive, recovery was pretty quick. I also went in rested and in control whereas the previous time I was exhausted, in terrible pain, scared, very emotional and wiped out. Took me a lot longer to get over it afterwards.

I hope that’s not unhelpful to you, it’s only one experience. If I have to go through it again then I’d pick ERPC again. Knock me out, get me home as quickly as possible to sleep. The emotional toll it all takes is enough, I don’t need the physical trauma as well. It wasn’t even the cramps, it’s the grinding awful back ache I’ve had with miscarriages that saps the life out of me.

Hey laura, haven’t said hi to you yet. Welcome to our gang

Hey Anne, thank you very much, it's good to chat to you girls and being part of the gang! 🙂 Xx

I hope you don’t me hanging around even though I’m currently pregnant. This is such a lovely group of women and I’m still wobbly as hell about it all so feel comfy in your company.

@AnneLovesGilbert many congratulations! Good to have a group of girls who know what we're feeling. Xx

Thinking of you today @Munchies89. Hoping you won't need to consider options. Afraid I'm not much help, all 3 of mine were natural. I think I'd choose ERPC even though I'm terrified of going under anaesthetic having never been knocked out before. I've sat with a friend on a ward whilst she had an abortion using the tablets back in our student days and it was just awful so I'd never consider that option. That may not be what you want to hear, it was the whole environment as well as the process has really scarred me mentally.

Sending love @Munchies89, will check in to see how you get on x

Thinking of you munchies.
I think I overdid it yesterday as spotted much more so trying to take it super easy today.

Thanks everyone.
So scan today now shows a baby but no heartbeat yet so another scan next Tuesday. Feels like it's prolonging the inevitable but we will see next week xx
Been thinking of you @bean. I've decided to have this week off work to rest also as the stress etc is getting too much.
I really appreciate the feedback regarding options. I've decided to go with another ERPC if needed as the tablet option sounds horrendous. Plus now there's a baby they'll test it for me like the others. So now hoping I don't naturally miscarry. It's all such a head f**k xx

Oh munchies. That’s sounding tough but perhaps like there is some hope?

Oh munchies, your head must be scrambled. Definitely good to take the time off work. You need to rest and do whatever helps you right now. When the chips are really down and I don't want to think about feelings, I'm a big fan of action films. The (fucking AWFUL) Transporter movies got us through the shit days of my first MMC.

Seeing a baby is good news. What did they say about no heartbeat? What are you now for dates? Is it a waiting and seeing follow up scan or a confirming bad news scan?