TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Thanks @anna, it is a weird feeling of really wanting to be pregnant but not wanting to be because of what will probably happen next. I’ve stopped beating myself up over testing, I suspected that I was pregnant anyway and rationally I know it’s better to know for sure. I’m not really sure of next steps, I don’t really want to do anything but wait it out but I’m waiting for my rmc appointment to come through so I just might give them a call tomorrow

Thanks @hopeful, last time started with the exact same spotting so I’m preparing myself for the worst and anything else will be a nice surprise. How are you feeling now?

I'm feeling much better thanks. I think it was a migraine. Had one last month too which was first one. Still bleeding, bright red but not nearly as heavy as normal period. Not sure if I should test again tomorrow or Friday or just put it to back of my mind, class this as period and try to enjoy our holiday. My husband would say the latter! He's away so haven't even spoken to him about any of this.

I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better and bright red is a really good sign, maybe your cycle is a little out of sync and it will be a lighter period than normal. It’s easier said than done to put things to the back of our minds but I hope by the time you go away you’re feeling more reassured about things. I’ve not told my husband yet that I tested positive as he’s out tonight (although I know he strongly suspects as I turned down a glass of wine on Monday) and I’m in work early tomorrow so will be breaking it to him in the evening, when I got pregnant with our 2 sons and for the first 2 miscarriages I would tell him with a little note or one of the boys wearing a tshirt or some other happy way but now it’s more of a case oh crap we’re about to go through another difficult time!

Thank you. Yeah bright red maybe is a good sign. We only did have sex 3 times the whole month too and used condoms each time. I really wish we could all enjoy the ttc and pregnancy experience. So envious of those it's straight forward for!

Good morning ladies. Clots this morning so looks like AF has arrived properly. Fuck knows what's been going on this month! Now to pack my suitcase, go get my nails done then enjoy cocktails, fine food, sun and 2 whole weeks with my hubby! Do I take the b6 in hope I ovulate towards end of holiday?! Don't want to be using opk when away and would like to know if it's worked.
How are you all doing? Anything nice planned for the weekend? When's the next appointments?

Glad you've got some clarity, Hopeful, and you can just enjoy that amazing holiday! My periods just never seem to do the same thing month to month any more since miscarriages - just another complication to get your head around, I guess!

We've got a wedding this weekend and I'm trying to gear up to being in the right mood for it - lots of old friends with new babies / babies on the way...😐 I'll get there!

Congratulations, MissPMA. I can totally imagine what you're feeling, but I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I'm just at the end of the fertile window and we we decided to get back on the case straight away this month, too - I just hated the feeling of waiting while we don't even have any appointments through yet. But now we're on the other side of that, I can just feel the creeping anxiety that we'll either not get pregnant this time, or that we will and then I can just look forward to miscarriage number four. Such weirdly mixed feelings.

I think I need to work on my PMA, and I'm totally with you on the envy of those it's straightforward for, Hopeful! Ah, I really miss the days when I was just happily naïve to this whole world...

Hopeful, if it were me, I'd wait until the next month to see if the B6 does make a difference... Avoiding opks on holiday sounds like a good call, and I'd want to know what it was doing, if anything.

But then I might just be a little bit of a control freak, so maybe depends how much the knowing matters to you?

I don't suppose I have to know and if i don't pack opk I can't use them! It would just have been interesting to know if I was ovulating earlier. Suppose there's other ways of telling too. Hope you manage to enjoy the wedding. It does suck when there's so many others around who are where we want to be.

Good luck today @AnneLovesGilbert I will be thinking of you.

Sorry I had completely forgotten. Thanks for the reminder @Miami. Good luck @Anne xx

Good luck @AnneLovesGilbert!

How are you @Miami81?

Enjoy your holiday @hopefulforourrainbow! Sun and cocktails sound amazing!

Hope all is well with you @MissPMA. I was also waiting for my RMC appointment when I fell this time and I just gave them a ring and they saw me straight away and gave me high dose folic acid and cyclogest. Got everything crossed for you! Are you going to anything different this time off your own back like aspirin?

How are you doing @Munchies?

I'm 16 weeks now, had a consultant appointment yesterday with a quick scan showing all is fine in there which is reassuring to know as my sickness is finally dying down. Starting to show now so think the cat will be let out the bag at a family gathering this weekend so its nice to get the reassurance before that. Now I can start worrying about the 20 week scan!

@beanhunter how are you doing? Did the bleeding stop again after your scan?

Thinking of you all too but I’m away on holiday and no appointments or anything happening, sorry if I got a date wrong. 12 weeks on the nose today. Got my screening scan Wednesday will be 12+5.

Feeling a bit wobbly as just before we came away we got busted by the kids (my step kids) and had to fess up. They’re absolutely over the moon and we’ve had several chats about how it’s very exciting but sometimes babies get poorly and don’t get to born which hopefully won’t be the case but we were planning to wait till we’d seen the doctor next week and were going to tell them when we knew the baby was alright. Tricky balance as they’ve been asking for a sibling for years and we want them to enjoy being excited but the idea of it going wrong and putting them through it as well is just too awful.

They named it on the spot which we wanted to avoid and DSD even snuck off and bought it a teddy yesterday... It’s all a bit much tbh. We’d wanted to get to 16 weeks before saying anything but my progesterone belly has been impossible to hide

Such great news lab, what a relief for you. Enjoy the milestones and have a lovely family meet up.

How are you miami? How’ve you been feeling? Are you finding jabbing okay?

Bin off the OPK while you’re away hopeful and enjoy cocktails and shagging and sun and sea and sand. Hope you have the BEST time.

I hope the wedding is lovely ruanna We’ve all been there, some days it seems everyone’s falling at the drop of a hat and 9 months later they have a baby in their arms and probably can’t even imagine it’s not that easy for everyone. Look after yourself.

How are you doing pma? So tempting to just pretend it’s not happening on one level I know but get the support you can if you think it will be helpful. Go at your own pace. How did DP take the news?!

Sending love to you FMU. You know we’re all here for you, anytime.

Sending love to everyone. Don’t know where I’d be without you all.

Ah ok. Sorry @AnneLovesGilbert for jumping the gun.
Oh poor you with the stepkids, I think that is a really good way of having described it to them.
I have told a few people. Mainly because I am supposed to be doing this big sponsored walk in two weeks time for dd birthday but my consultant has completely denied permission for even the shorter version. One of my pals is going to walk as me so I had to tell her.
I'm ok. The spotting from Monday seems to have come to nothing. I still feel pregnant most days, I have extreme panics every now and again. Next scan is on Tuesday at 11+4 and then dating is the following Monday at 12+3. I feel surprisingly calm and I'm not sure why. I suppose in my case I just feel like the major f'ing panics are still to come and will be hanging over me every single day until a baby is born.
@Labmum that's great that you are at 16 wks. And that you got a cheeky wee scan as well, always reassuring. Breaks up the wait until 20 wks too for you.

Still spotting but mostly brown so hoping that’s just residual stuff and it’s ok. Trying not to get attached.
My daughter has clocked im being sick and tired again like last summer. Last summer she only knew after the mc so we wanted to wait again but she’s now asked twice. We’ve dodged the question so far.

Feel like af is on the way, I hope not, my mum spoke to a midwife yesterday in the health centre where she works and explained everything and she recommended I do a test in ten days, have done a couple which have been negative, just going to have to distract myself till next Sunday! Hope you're all ok. Xx

@ruanna I know what you mean, we decided to crack on as it will be such a long wait till our rmc appointment comes through and I think i wanted to feel like I was doing something, I felt very positive for the first part of the month but since my fertile window passed just full of gloom for the next bit. I’m sorry to hear about your losses, i hope the wedding goes well this weekend, I’m sure it will be difficult but I hope you can also enjoy it.
@hopeful I am so pleased you finally got your period, I hope you have an absolutely amazing holiday!
Happy 12 weeks @anne, that’s lovely the kids are so excited but must put a hell of a lot of pressure on you when you have so much already!
@labmum wow 16 weeks, I’m glad to hear the sickness is subsiding, how are you planning on making your announcement? That’s useful to hear of your success with rmc, I’ve not called them or anyone as I figured it was probably pointless, the spotting turned red yesterday although back to brown today and is extremely light. So maybe I’ll give them a call anyway. We’re feeling a bit glum about things really, DH had a cancer scare over the summer which thankfully came back clear but yesterday the gp mentioned that he has varicole, she was very dismissive of him when he asked if it could be causing the miscarriages saying there was clearly no problem with his sperm when I’ve been pregnant so many times, but after looking it online it appears it is linked to recurrent miscarriage, hmmm....

Don’t say sorry! Always nice to have people sending good vibes, thank you xx

The walk sounds amazing, I’d love to donate if you wouldn’t mind sending details. PM me if you want to. What a lovely friend. Will you get to go along for the send off or to meet them at the finish?

Relief the spotting’s stopped. You hear about it happening but I honestly had no idea how many people bleed apparently for no reason and everything’s fine. Can’t get my head around it.

DH and ex lost a baby before they had my DSC so they know it can happen and we just said we know they’re old enough to understand and be grown up about it. I still haven’t even told my dad or brothers as I’m not ready for their hope/fear reactions so having innocent children in the loop feels insane... But as a SM I’d always worried a bit about how they’d feel even though they’ve said they want one so it’s very special how happy they are, even if I now feel immense pressure to actually produce a baby.

Having recently got to grips with the birds and bees, when I popped out to give DH a chance to have a bit of time with them to go through any questions or thoughts, DSS asked DH how the baby got in me...

DSS: Daddy, did you [slightly obscene hand gestures]. DH: oh wow, um well yes. DSS: how does it even fit?! DH: it just does. DSS: does it hurt? DH: no. DSS: okay cool.

DSS starts jumping up and down saying he’s going to be a big brother. DH walks away bright red and shaking slightly

Bloody kids.

@Anne, its so lovely they're excited! I'm glad DS isn't old enough for the birds and bees aspect of things. Was awkward enough when pregnant with DS and my little cousin asking me how babies are made! I just fobbed her off saying "oh I think you may need to ask Mummy and Daddy that one".......her Dad went very pale at that point!

@beanhunter glad its easing off. Got everything crossed for you!

@MissPMA definitely worth giving them a ring, part of the treatment for RMC is supportive antenatal care (bizarrely has a more positive outcome than cyclogest) so they arranged for me to have scans every 2 weeks until my 12 week scan. My scan yesterday at 16 weeks was through them too, it was my 5th scan so far this pregnancy and there's 3 more booked in. Costing me a fortune in parking charges!

@ruana hope the wedding goes ok, I head similar earlier this year and it was tough, there was lots of free booze though so I drowned my sorrows instead! Not really advised but do what you have to to get through it.

So I called rmc and am glad I did as they had lost my referral 😡 but I’m now in the system although they’ve said I’ll get an appointment for January which feels a loooong time away, they also said that even though I’m pregnant I won’t be seen now as they wouldn’t be able to prescribe anything.
The only thing different I’m doing this time is taking pregnacare max, The gp’s never mentioned aspirin before but I’m willing to throw anything at it, does anyone have any recommendations of what specifically to take? Any drawbacks to it?

My consultant says no aspirin until you’ve seen a heartbeat on scan.
I’m empirically on clexane too although no clotting problem found.
I think that’s really poor. I’m being seen weekly by my consultant because of or previous losses.

@MissPMA a GP can prescribe high dose (5mg) folic acid so that might be worth looking into? I took 75mg aspirin myself just over the counter but that's up to you. If you've had spotting already you may not want to.
You should maybe contact PALS about them losing your referral. They may be able to advocate for you being seen now. Could you look online at their policy for recurrent miscarriage to see if the closer monitoring is something they offer as you should be eligible for that at least.

Thank you! So excited now! Chilling at airport hotel with a large glass of wine!
Aww that's a lovely way to explain things up the kids @Anne. Hope you're having a lovely weekend. I would also love to donate @Miami. Do you have a just giving page? Sending lots of love to you all. Will check in while away to see how you're all doing.