TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Ha I've never watched those so might give them a go...although I tend to stick to extremely trashy real life tv which is even worse.
Well they seemed happy that in 10 days there's now a 2mm baby but they've booked me to see a consultant next time rather than back to a nurse at the early pregnancy unit so not sure what that means.
So I should be 8+3 from lmp but more 7+ from ovulation. They're saying I'm about 5 and a half weeks from measurements.
It's hard to explain to other people that when you've had this amount of miscarriages etc you know exactly when you've ovulated and had sex so I really don't get it. I did ask if there was a possibility that I had ovulated twice and it was the second one that caught but the nurse didn't really think it was possible to ovulate twice....even though it is. But then I remembered that we only had sex twice when ovulating and that was the same day. Also I had a positive test from 3+6 from lmp.
So another week in limbo

How are you?x

Been thinking of you @Munchies89 might still be early to see a heartbeat yet. Sending you a virtual hug. Xx

They're utter shite. I think Statham might do an accent as well But I was bouncing off the walls and couldn't hack anything with dialogue or emotions or anything like that so we just did the action section in netflix and then stayed up all night watching Trump win the election. Was a right bastard of a week tbh but Jason got us through it

I also remember watching a lot of Made in Chelsea when I was off work once with a horrific ear infection. Total pap. Was ace.

What a head fuck, I don't blame you for being confused by what they've said. The wait between scans always seems madness. But then I know they want a follow up one to be more conclusive.

I know with rmc you start to doubt yourself all the bloody time but do you have any instinct at all about what's going on? How are your symptoms?

I'm alright thanks. Started to panic a lot last night about the kids knowing and who they'll tell and what the fuck we'll do if we get bad news. They're totally on board with the possibility that pregnancies don't always turn into babies - wish they weren't tbh and they don't know about any of our losses but it still seems a shame they've lost their innocence at this age! - but they're going to be fucking heartbroken if it all goes wrong and we'll have them to worry about as well as ourselves.

DH gave me a bit of a talking to about calming the fuck down, which was what I needed, and reiterating how good the last scan was, how pleased our consultant was. But the consultant did say to wait a few more weeks before telling anyone, and that's been bugging me. He might have meant to get past the screening scan. I just wish I could relax. I've had the odd moment of sort of mental wellbeing and applying logic - we're further than we've ever been, I'm rattling with pills and blood thinners, had 4 good scans etc etc - but I've basically turned into a full time worrier and I'm annoying myself hugely.

Scan Wednesday. Never having had a good one of those, do you get results on the day? I know the bloods take a few weeks but surely measurements from the actual scan are told to you at the time?

Hi ladies... Have just been lurking for a while, how is everyone?

anne if they take your NT measurements they can tell you there and then if there's any concerns etc, they're usually pretty transparent, especially if they can see you're anxious

How are you FMU? Keeping you in my thoughts all the time at the moment.

Thank you @laura

@Anne I totally get your anxiety with the children and their innocence- children are extremely resilient though and hopefully it will be a completely different outcome to all the previous ones. It's very positive so far. Unfortunately I've never to go that stage either so bit unsure about the details however I did presume you get measurements on the day and results days/weeks later.
How are your symptoms? Do you feel any different to previous pregnancies?

No I definitely expected to have no progression today as my symptoms before have definitely lessened. Makes me feel like it's all in my head. I know some if it is progesterone related but I feel like even those ones have reduced even though I'm still on the pessarys.
I feel like I prepared my husband and parents for the outcome, planned what treatment to have and even got a hospital bag ready with pads etc so I literally have no clue what is happening. Now that there's a baby there I'm now really wanting to see an improvement next week whereas straight from the previous scan I prepared for the worse today.

It's a bit annoying as I also have the 8 week midwife appointment already booked for tomorrow so rather than rearranging I'm planning to go, fill the paperwork in for the millionth time just in case there is the tiniest chance it carries on progressing x

Sorry @FMU cross post. How are you?x

Can you postpone the appointment? There's still time. I was seen so quickly for my booking I think it was probably a cancellation. Don't put yourself through it if it's going to make you feel worse. You could easily wait a week or more if not going tomorrow gives you the week to juts hunker and hide out.

It's not in your head, I totally relate to the feeling you've had, but there is a baby in there and maybe it's taking a while to make itself and its little heartbeat visible to you. Prepare for the worst so you can face it if it happens and hope for the best because things are in much better shape than they were before today and it might just be okay

What symptoms have you had? They can definitely come and go and everything still be okay. My boobs are killing now but they didn't kick in till about week 7 which was different from before. I've always had heartburn in previous pregnancies and only had it once this time.

Apart from the boobs I have super smell and a whole bunch of other things that might be drugs related rather than pregnancy related. I usually have loads of hair on my head and not much below the eyebrows and I now have neck fluff, face fluff, loads more hair on my thighs, some on my belly. Face skin is a delight but I have awful spots on my neck, and my upper back and my chest are dry and have loads of tiny sore bits on. Looks hideous and is quite painful. Massive boobs and a belly that looks 5 or 6 months gone at a mere 12 weeks, loads of CM, some ovulation type aches on both sides, dizziness, bits of backache, protein cravings, hate the smell of water. Some of it's probably progesterone (now on 5 x 400mg pessaries a day), some of it's steroids, some of it might be normal pregnancy hormones.

Wow that is quite a list!
I have suffered with spots and facial hair since my first pregnancy 18 months ago but the hair definitely increases when I'm pregnant, the spots however improve and go to different places of my face.
I was bloated which I presume was more progesterone related but most days that's improved since the scan.
I always get shivvery when pregnant but that's also improve in the last week.
I get the odd cramp but mainly backache which has been a bit more in the last week. My whole body has been aching.
Normally start getting nauseous and then very sick from 6-7 weeks which I haven't had or any food adversions. Water tastes different to me too but that's all.
I have felt very dizzy since Saturday like I have low blood pressure but I put it down to my body getting ready to miscarry.
You are on so much progesterone. I'm only on 200mg twice a day. They didn't seem bothered about testing my progesterone levels last time so I take it they'll just leave me on that x

@Munchies89 Im so sorry you're still stuck in limbo. Hoping for that glimmer of rainbow to shine through next week. You don't have to have a booking appointment so early, I refused, I gave consent for the nuchal whilst in for my 10 week scan, but arranged booking for after 12 week scan. They were fine with it, just took booking and screening bloods all together.

@Anne you can see them taking the Nuchal measurements at the time. It's usually fairly obvious on a little panel on the display. I think if it was unusually high they would probably tell you there and then.

My booking isn’t until 10 weeks so I wouldn’t worry about cancelling and rescheduling munchies.
Anne - in my area they told you the Nt measurement. They said if low risk postal results in 2 weeks. If high risk telephone call in less than 5 days.

@Munchies89 I'm sorry things weren't more clear cut for you today.
@AnneLovesGilbert I saw my lady taking the nt measurement and I asked her straight out what it was, she told me and that the NT measure was within 'normal' range for our gestation and that blood results would most likely confirm that. She also wrote it in my notes so I could check it again later in the day when I started to panic.

Hey just checking in to see how you're all doing. Have been thinking of you all. Did af start @Laura? I had a week of spotting before mine started. No idea what that was about! I've started the b6 and vitex so hopefully they'll help.

Thanks all for explaining. So when it's okay do you walk away knowing you're more than 90% all good or do you only get that when the bloods are in?

Bugger off and drink cocktails and do holiday shagging hopeful Hope you're having an amazing time!

@Hopefulforourrainbow I've had 2 days of brown spotting only light and this morning more red which at the moment has gone light again, don't know whether it's worth testing on wed or sun, see what it's like on the next few days. How are you doing? XX

Yeah that's pretty much what I had for a week then the bleeding became heavier.
Haha ok if you insist @Anne 😂

Going to see what happens in the next few days. X

I'm not sure how often people would get a high risk result from bloods after a normal range NT measurement if I'm honest @Anne. I guess it must happen but I'd guess it was unusual. I read a blog the other day where a lady had Patau's picked up at the 12 week scan alone as it also causes other anomalies which were clearly visible. I personally felt on edge still until the paper results came through but I think that's the nature of our situation. Fingers crossed for Wednesday for you.

You deserve the best holiday ever hopeful, enjoy every minute x

Don’t know we’ll be leaving the country again but we’ve got a week off just the two of us later in the month and I can’t wait. The hotel’s got a spa and I’m going to book a massage. Bit flash but fuck it.

Thanks labmum, that makes sense.

I first want to know if it’s still beating away in there then if it’s all in the right place and then I promise PROMISE I’ll try to chill your fuck out.

Had some horrible flash backs to my one previous 12 week scan. The kind sonographer’s sad face

Oh Munchies I'm so sorry you're still in limbo, it's so hard and I'm thinking of you. Hopefully you get a pleasant surprise at your next scan.

Will be keeping everything crossed for you on Wednesday Anne and bean. Anne it's so understandable to still be anxious, and in the end you feel how you feel so all you can do is try your best to cope with that. I hope Wednesday helps you feel better and brings down some of that worry.

I thought yesterday was stressful enough, but today has been something else. I woke up feeling like my heart was racing, got on with work anyway but by lunchtime I wasn't feeling better. NHS 111 advised that since my heart rate was so high (around 120bpm) I needed to get to A&E, where I spent 3 hours hooked up to an ECG. They ruled out anything too scary, but as I told them I was pregnant they gave me an HCG test which came up to only 19.5, then insisted on referring me back to the EPU who gave me another internal scan where once again there was nothing to see but a thicker endometrial lining. Then I waited 3 hours to be seen by a doctor, who turned out to be the one I last saw when I had to wait all day for my ERPC in May before being sent home without it even happening, and who for some reason thought patting the knee of a woman lying in a hospital bed getting that news was going to be comforting. He told me I was probably going to miscarry again as HCG is low, but to come back in a couple of days for a retest to see if it's dropping, going up, or indicating an ectopic. I never wanted to go to EPU today, it's too early, I knew all they could do is make me feel worse and that's exactly what happened. I had a plan to just keep it together for a few more days and not get attached and ideally not think about pregnancy too much, and it feels like the world is conspiring against me. I hate this so much.

@oddsbobbins you've had a horrendous day! That doctor doesn't sound in the slightest empathetic! X

Oh @oddsbobbins what a horrible day!! I'm so sorry you're feeling so rubbish and also being in limbo. Had your heart rate settled now? How are you feeling?

Thank you @Miami and @LabMum xx

Thank you both. I'm feeling a bit better, my heart rate still feels a bit weird but better than yesterday, and I'm planning to take today off sick as I was a bit too wound up to sleep properly last night and can't imagine I'll be good for much.

I did another pregnancy test this morning and it's barely darker than the one on Sunday, so I'm expecting to miscarry in the next few days. I have a repeat HCG tomorrow but preparing myself for bad news, feeling fairly resigned.