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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying To Conceive ... 9

651 replies

BeckiF · 17/08/2004 10:07

Darling Ladies ... I wish us all luck on this new thread (especially me!) ... I hope that we have the same great amount of graduates that the last thread had!

So, group hug and let's get to it! Wooo Wooooo!!!!

OP posts:
runtus · 13/09/2004 13:00

Age old problem here, this is my most fertile week (I think) and my dh is totally knackered already. He has a night class starting tonight and I just know there will be a large 'no go zone' around him when he gets in. Added to that he is really busy at work still because of the sad departure of his boss and then he is away playing sidding golf all weekend !

I am really trying not to get wound up in advance but I can just see another month slipping by without us making the effort we need. We even had a conversation last week about how we need to bd more and he agreed but I can just see it happening again this month.......

Sorry, bit of a rant there

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 14:18

Runtus,

why don't you get him a really nice meal ready for after his night class tonight. Bottle of wine, candles, soft music - then have a bath ready for him.

After the bath some nice desert and maybe some more wine

He'll be so relaxed (hopefully not TOO relaxed) and will be grateful that you have gone to so much trouble.

Then you can either seduce him or use the fact you were so caring as emotional blackmail later in the week

runtus · 13/09/2004 14:45

Sweetheart, it would be a good idea if only he drank during the week (getting up at 5.30am everyday,not a good idea), liked baths or hadn't already eaten.

He really is the most difficult man to seduce! Which may explain why it took us 4 years to get together..............

I can forsee me being obvious again and then us having a row about only wanting to do it to get a baby........

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 14:55

Oh runtus!!!! (((hugs)))

Try not to get angry with him (as hard as it is) then you'll never get any bding done

runtus · 13/09/2004 15:10

I know, but it is hard (no pun intended!)not to get annoyed as you can see another month slipping by.

I just called him and was going to make a joke about it, to sort of remind him but not push it but he was so stressed I didn't dare. Considering an email but not sure I can take the risk of it being opened in public!

Gettig your boyfriend to have sex really shouldn't be this hard, surely??!

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 15:21

Does he have a low sex drive?? My dh does - it wouldn't normally bother him if we went a month without sex.

It drives me mad sometimes

I'd lay off the e-mail today, they'll be no chance of any bd if your not even speaking

runtus · 13/09/2004 15:49

Good point, I won't send anything.

When we first started going out his sex drive was totally normal (whatever that is!)but pretty much as soon as we moved in together, it dropped right down to once a week. Now I know that isn't necessarily low but it feels it to me and esp now we are ttc

The main problem mainly is that he doesn't want to have sex to have a baby, he wants to have sex just because we want to have sex - although at the same time, he wants to have a baby! No doubt the universal problem but it would seem we are both in the same boat!

I have even considered the old Ann Summers route but it just isn't me!

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 15:55

Runtus,

I think you'r right - it is a universal problem. My dh objected to me taking my temperature and doing ovulation test etc. His reason was that it was too clinical.

The trouble is that we conceived our dd so easily that it has come as a bit of a shock that we can't concieve this time round.

As far as Anne Summers goes - you don't have to do things that make you uncomfortable. Although I have to say I brought some new undies from M&S the other month. Not overly sexy - just black with a bit of pink lace - but it was and still is the only matching bra, knickers and camisole I own. It did give me a boost - it's amazing what new underware can do (and it doesn't have to be a peephole bra and crotchless undies)

runtus · 13/09/2004 16:05

They sound like they are related..I have been banned from any kind of temping and I haven't even told him that there is such a thing as ov kits available!

I guess we just have to let them get to the right decision in their own time really, there is nothing more likely to make my DP not want to do something than me telling him to!

What I don;t get is why is sex not appealing when you are promised it? My dh only seems to want to do it on the spur of the moment (or at the bottom of a bottle of beer!)which makes planning for the right time tricky........personally I still enjoy it even if it is planned!!

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 16:37

runtus,

part of the same family tree perhaps!!!

My dh has to start work very early so bd midweek is an almost definate no - unless of course we get dd to bed early and retire ourselves at 8pm!!!

I've tried to explain that just because it's the weekend doesn't mean I'm ovulating!! The words fallin, deaf and ears come to mind.

And we want to make tiny little versions of these men what are we thinking

runtus · 13/09/2004 16:51

I know, we must be gluttons for punishment!

I think I might have a chat with my dp tonight, rather than trying to get him interested and then being disappointed when it doesn't happen - proactive rather than reactive as my therapist freind would say!

wish me luck

sweetheart · 13/09/2004 16:56

I have my fingers firmly crossed for you runtus. You'll have to let him think it's all his idea -works for me every time

Be sure to let me know how you got on tomorrow, I'm normally on line between 9 and 5, although i SHOULD be working

runtus · 13/09/2004 16:59

Will do, been great to have someone to talk to who understands!

I'm going to buy an ov kit on my way home as well, at least that way I'll know if I def have to get something 'done'! Just cos he doesn't want me to use them, doesn't mean he has to know now does it?

krocket · 13/09/2004 16:59

oh runtus your line
"The main problem mainly is that he doesn't want to have sex to have a baby, he wants to have sex just because we want to have sex - although at the same time, he wants to have a baby!"
could be me speaking! it's taken me 4 months to get DP to see that it's not magic but I there are only really a few days in the month that's its possible let alone likely. so frustrating. He used to say things like "I can't just do it because you've decided that it's the right time' I think he does understand now though - seeing me upset everytime AF arrived made him realise I think

runtus · 14/09/2004 08:14

Well, after all my worrying and fretting yesterday I had nothing to worry about last night at least! He came home from his course in a really good mood and not at all tired. I got an arm round me watching TV (which only ever happens when I make a BIG fuss ) and then he made the first move in bed! And there was me thinking I was going to have a fight on my hands.....

All I have to do now is get him to do the same again every night this week! Highly unlikely but hey, I've got a smile on my face today anyway!

Bibi20 · 14/09/2004 08:37

Runtus

Well, CD1 for me... AF turned up right on time (b*tch).

I hate this.

Going to go to the Doctor and try to get things rolling - I'm on cycle 10 and can't be doing with waiting another 2 before asking for help. I feel like everything is out of my control and have run out of supplements to add to my diet which was my positive action for the last few months... I'm hoping that going to the Doctor will at least make me feel like I'm getting something done IYKWIM?

Think I'll start another thread asking for tips on what to say that will make the Dr listen - appreciate any thoughts!

runtus · 14/09/2004 09:08

I know what you mean Bibi20, all the time there is something new to try you can keep hoping can't you? Just another string to the 'new diet'line I guess.......

sweetheart · 14/09/2004 09:23

Runtus,

Wooohhhoooooo, you go girl Sounds like you and dh had a lovely time last night. My dh and I got into bed - after being asleep on the sofa - and he "asked" me if we were going to bd. I told him he'd missed the boat as I was ov last week and he was always "too tired". Anyway - how romantic is that - "are we going to have sex then or what", talk about getting in the mood - NOT!!!!

Bibi20, if at all possible turn on the water works!!!! The doctor is more likely to help (IMO) If he thinks it is affecting your mental state. And if that doesn't work - beg and plead!!!

Geordie · 14/09/2004 10:04

Bibi20,

we were referred after about 11 months of ttc....
basically I told the dr it was 12 months

they ordered blood tests and sa tests (that was in August 2002) then at christmas I burst into tears on the dr when I went for another reason and they reffered us the the fertility clinic.

It helped that I had temped for 4 months so we were sure that I was ovulating...the dr took us more seriously as we had been informed about things....like having sex at the right time etc....

so- be informed but be emotional- not hard really as ttc is hard work no matter how long you've been trying.

Incidently we fell pg when we had given up ttc!!

Geordie

Bibi20 · 14/09/2004 10:15

Thanks Geordie!

Geordie · 14/09/2004 10:16

Bibi20,

forgot to say ((((hugs)))) Af is a totaly b*h!

don't give up hope yet, It's hard and makes you feel really down- I remember.

good luck at the drs- hope you get some answers and reassurance that it's just taking time...not that that will make it much easier...but hopefully you'll get a bfp before you have to go through too many tests!!

Geordie

runtus · 14/09/2004 10:23

Sweetheart, it was all a bit unexpected really! Although, I suppose I was nicer to him during the day than I might otherwose have been , not that I am generally horrid to him! I just called and wished him luck on his course and asked him if he wanted me to make him anything to eat when he got home (although, he said yes and I made curry, which he then decided he didnt want!)..maybe that all helped?!

Not fair for you though, you spend all last week trying to get him interested at the right time and he goes and gets the message a week late!

sweetheart · 14/09/2004 10:55

Runtus,

He wasn't even perticulally interested last night - I think he just offered so I can't say he isn't trying.

Too bad about the curry - next time tell him to cook his own dinner

runtus · 14/09/2004 11:13

There is the question of why are we bothering to try and have children when we all so obviously already have one each!

sweetheart · 14/09/2004 11:26

lol Runtus,

so true