Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

@CookieWaffle thank you hun x Yeah love having my nails done 💕💅🏼

Wonderful news @Angelmiracle. Congratulations! 🎉💜

Glad you're feeling relaxed @KnitKitty. How are you @CookieWaffle @ChaosMoon @Frazzlerock? Hope you're all doing well.

Trying to focus on the here and now, it is difficult at times but I'm persevering. Going to a yoga class with dh tomorrow :)

Have a good Wednesday Sunshine Ladies

@VenusStarr thank you hun x 💜

Wow @angel that is awesome news! So so pleased for you! And that gives us an extra hit of positivity to this thread
You say you tried t stay as calm as poss, how did you do that? Did you have to actively force yourself to calm?

@KnitKitty the Reiki sounds really good, and quite fascinating.. you have encouraged me to look into the 'woo' side I am thinking about acupuncture now as well as reiki.
also, I have to say it is impossibly hard when all around you good things are happening to people. After our MC's DP's step sister and then his SIL had babies, now Step sister is on her second pregnancy. I was so miserable as DP had chosen not to TTC again. It's hell on earth. And, like you say, I felt entirely left behind. Like I was stuck in a vault, alone.

As for me now, I have gone from absolute elation at being able to TTC again at long last, to feeling desperately anxious and tearful today. I'm horribly impatient. I guess after waiting two years to TTC and falling pregnant so easily with the two we lost, I (subconsciously) thought it would happen immediately. I'm now at the beginning of my cycle and so scared that DP will change his mind again before we get the chance to catch and egg. I'm desperate for ovulation to come which I know will just delay it! I'm only on CD7, ovulation might not come for weeks yet.
I'm terrified that the mumps that DP had (we both had it but it only effects men's fertility) sabotaged our chances. I'm only on our second cycle and still have all these worries! I have to remmeber that the DC took much much longer (2.5 years for DC1 and 11 months for DC2) and I should just be patient, that it will happen.
Then I worry that I don't have time as I am 39 and every day is like a ticking time bomb! I am my own worst enemy.

Can anyone hand me a grip or a slap or something?

I will do some yoga tonight, to chill my stupid beans.

I MUST HAVE FAITH
I MUST HAVE FAITH
I MUST HAVE FAITH

I hope everyone else is okay?

Hello, I'm doing good today thanks! I called in sick yesterday as I was in a right state and back and cramps still getting to me. Explained to boss who has been lovely and as I was explaining today I felt a bit silly for something that hardly happened but they were still really lovely about it.

AF and cramps almost over then back on to the DTD!

I have a neck and shoulders massage booked for this weekend so just thinking how great that's going to feel after (definitely not while it's happening though!). I definitely think i should book this in as a regular thing, really got out some stresses i'd been storing there!

Line a bit darker this morning thank goodness 💗😄

Yep, that's good line progression right there Angelmirale! Now step slowly away from the tests before you get obsessive! Can you believe your eyes yet? How are you feeling, any symptoms to speak of?

VenusStar yoga class with DH sounds lovely! Hope it's good!

Frazzelrock you make me chuckle as your use of "woo", yes I think a bit of "woo" is good for you. It's important to look after mind, body and spirit. I had acupuncture many years ago and it wasn't my thing, but I'm glad I tried it. It's definitely a good thing to do at least once, and a lot of people swear by it, so give it a go!
All your feelings and worries are totally understandable. And being given the go-ahead to TTC again after so long not being able to must feel a bit like a kid being let lose in a massive toy shop to find that one toy its been asking for for months. You know it's hidden in there somewhere, but it might take some time to find and you're all excitable and frustrated all at the same time. But as with looking frantically for something you've lost and not finding it because you're in a panic, I think it's easier to conceive when you're not feeling too frantic about it too. Meditation, massages, reiki, acupuncture, reading books, watching films, writing a journal, making things... it all helps keep you calm and take your mind off things. Good luck with quieting the mind. It's a difficult thing to learn how to do, but once you can do it it's a skill that stays with you for life.
Try changing that mantra of yours to "I have faith, and I am at peace." Whenever you find you're getting frazzled, pause, take 3 slow breaths and repeat this to yourself until those voices in your head quieten down.

CookieWaffle I had a chemical a couple of months ago... two months after MMC and the second day of my period I got to work, one of my colleagues asked me how I was and I burst into tears. I totally understand needing some time off. You must take care of yourself and let yourself feel the feelings. You're doing so well, and you can see the silver linings of it already, which is good. But you also have to allow yourself to grieve and heal emotionally so you can "move on" (for want of a better phrase) feeling stronger. Hugs xxx
Neck and shoulder massage sounds amazing.

I love that all you Sunshine Ladies are really looking after yourselves.

I've been trying to not be closed emotionally (after the advice of the reiki practitioner). I had a wobble last night and let it out rather than trying to take my mind off it, and today I felt a wave of emotion while at work and took myself off to a quite corner. A couple of colleagues found me and gave me hugs and cheered me up. I am truly, truly, blessed with the colleagues I have. They're an amazing bunch of supportive and funny women and I am so lucky to have them around me. That's my positive thing for the day, my gratitude of the support I receive at work.

@Angelmiracle congratulations!

Morning Sunshine Ladies!

Remember to look out for everything that makes you smile today! xxx

Morning sunshine ladies and massive congratulations @Angelmiracle! I hope everything goes smoothly from here.

How was the yoga @VenusStarr?

@Frazzelrock I think @KnitKitty has the best advice. The mantra I fall back on when anxiety raises its ugly head is from Dune. Maybe it's my geeky side, but I like it.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that obliterates all.
I will face my fear and when the fear is gone, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
KnitKitty's is probably easier to remember though!

@CookieWaffle I'm glad work is being so good. And a massage is a genius plan.

I had a row with DH the other day and it really shook me. Not his fault at all. I realised after that it was really about what happened when my first marriage broke down. Basically he said we should start ttc and then left me to have a baby with someone else before or first cycle. I didn't realise how much I was still holding on to, but I guess it makes sense that it would come up now. Need to explain to DH but I've always tried to keep my past out of our relationship, so it's not easy.

Watching our wedding video helped. As did re-reading all the positive affirmations on here.

@Frazzlerock - it has been actually quite a process with a number of things taking place! After a mentally draining winter filled with exhaustion dizziness and anxiety I ended up going on anti depressants in spring! It was not a light decision to make but I could not cope with the everyday tasks of life at the time.
Few months after that I had vertigo and was signed off work for a few months. It was one of the best things that happened me! I thought work was causing much of the stress but being off made me realise it was mostly ttc causing the despair!!
As we were also undergoing fertility investigations from spring my GP suggested I alternate the antidepressants skipping a day and this month only taking one every 3rd day as she'd prefer me off them if I got pregnant!
I also done 3 weeks acupuncture last month. I do Pilates class weekly. And try to walk every day 20 mins. Plus I had joined SW and lost a stone after beginning the antidepressants.
2 weeks ago I went to a kinesiologist a friend of my mum's. She advised me on a preconception multivitamin probiotics and bio silver! She done a stress reducing technique on me and said I had the milk allergy so I cut it out! 5 days after this we conceived. She did say to me to skip this month ttc and let the supplements take effect but I couldn't skip it when I got the positive opk! I'm glad I didn't! So this year has been quite a healing time. And whilst getting pregnant is not a complete cure I could not be more thankful and feel so blessed!!💗🌟

ChaosMoon It's never nice having a quarrel, but if you've got some insight into yourself from it, then that's a good thing. Have you managed to talk to him about everything yet?

AngelMiracle I'm still buzzing from your news! I'm so pleased for you! xxx

So today's quote is:
“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” Joseph Addison

Remember to smile today!
Smiling in itself can alter your mood even if you feel you have nothing to smile about. The very act of smiling can lift you, and it also lifts others, so try to smile as much as you can today ladies! Spread the sunshine!!!

Gorgeous quote @KnitKitty and you're spot on about the smiles! (I love that smiling for no reason actually causes your brain to release the same chemicals that cause you to smile in the first place!)

Not yet but I will today. Between post work tiredness and fertile week BDing, I wanted to keep things happy and light. We've got a nice day in the country planned though so I will make time today.

I'm keeping in mind a favourite quote of mine. Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.

Thanks for sharing that ChaosMoon, it's a nice way of looking at what seems like turmoil at the time. I'm going through a lot of that at the moment, but my experiences in the past have taught me that usually the difficult times do eventually lead to better things!

Have a lovely day in the country, I'll be doing the same.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend :) yoga was good, think I might start going regularly, found it helped me switch off and relax. Dh seemed to like it too but he usually works late on Thursdays so he won't be able to join me.

Hope you've had lots of smiles today, sunshine ladies :)

Well, I'm 2dpo and Natural Cycles of giving me a big green Not Fertile. So, the 2ww begins and this morning I found this quote "I let go of worries and replace them with excitement, hope and optimism". Perfect.

I hope you all had a happy sunny weekend my dears.

Morning all :)

That's a great quote @ChaosMoon, do you have a 14 day luteal phase? I think we're due around a similar time.

I'm still not tracking but had a ton of ewcm over the weekend (not had much in previous months, if any at all) and I've just got a hopeful feeling. Trying not to focus on it too much as don't want to set myself up for a fall but feeling optimistic. We're in the middle of decorating so shopping for a new bed tonight :)

Hope everyone is good, have a great Monday

2ww buddies! @VenusStarr its actually 11 days so af is due on the 2nd. I could worry that it's a bit short but instead I chose to be happy that I get out of the 2ww early. I feel like I'm cheating!

Lots of ewcm it's a good sign. I hope this is your month but the new bed will help if not!
Sending baby dust xx

Haha! Thank you @ChaosMoon, I think I'm due any time from 4th - 6th August but think my luteal phase is 12 days so could be earlier if I have ovulated already. Got a wedding that weekend but not going to test early. Hope it's both our months :) xx

Hey ladies!

I'm also in my TWW. Currently 7DPO and trying not to symptom spot or obsess... But of course, it's not that easy.

I watched a Youtube video yesterday which inspired me.
It was a woman talking about pregnancy after MC.
She's had 3 miscarriages and one healthy pregnancy (her 4th one) and was saying that we should feel the joy and excitement of each pregnancy from the beginning. She said her first pregnancy was filled with worries because she hadn't gone through it before and was worried about losing it, and then she did; the second and third MCs she had she was anxious and worried and gloomy about everything because of the previous loss. She said the outcome would have been the same whether she was joyful or fearful, and if she had been joyful up until losing them at least she would have had that time being happy rather than low.

I think maybe the same can be said for the TTW as well. Maybe we should embrace the crazy (a little bit) and enjoy the excitement of the what-ifs and the maybes!

Think AF is due 29th or 30th.

Hi @KnitKitty. Not long to wait :) I think you're right, getting a balance is the key I think. Bring hopeful and enjoying that feeling is a positive.

We bought our new bed and got a discount with free delivery and assembly :) Good start to the week. Have a great day everyone!

VenusStar Having a new bed will be a treat!

Today's quote which seemed appropriate after what I was saying yesterday:

"What if I fall? Oh, but darling what if you fly?" Erin Hanson

@KnitKitty I do love to embrace the crazy! In fact, that might be my mantra for today. (My phone just changed mantra to madness. Clearly it's meant to be.

I love that way of looking at the two week wait. I'm spotting at 5dpo, which is definitely too early to be a symptom. It's probably happened before, you just don't notice until things you're ttc do you? Not even going to check my apps. I'm just going to roll with it.

I hope everyone's well.

Hi ladies, I'm definitely gonna be more chilled about the tww next time around. I didn't feel anything particularly unusual up until 12dpo so it's showed me that you just don't know. Fertile week this week so just the usual of us trying to make it fun not a task!

Interesting random thing for you, I've been suffering from lots of nasty headaches/migraines past few months. Been back and forth to the docs several times in the past 6 months and I just put it down to stress, mostly around ttc. Went to see an osteopath, told her everything about me, she did some fiddling around and told me she thought my jaw was causing it. Apparently I favour the one side when I chew since I had a crown fitted after a broken tooth. Very strange and interesting!

ChaosMoon implantation spotting? Roll with it is the way to go. I'm not going to do any early testing this month. Either AF shows up for she doesn't.

CookieWaffle it can be hard to keep it fun instead of a chore, can't it? But good luck and enjoy! :)
Really interesting about the jaw issue giving you headaches, hopefully you can attempt to do something which will lead to the headaches stopping! That's good news indeed!

I had a nice day today. Met my sister's new golden retriever puppy. He's adorable.

How is everyone doing at the moment? Any hugs needed?

Mantra for today:
Everything happens when and how it should.