Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

@frazzlerock and @chaosmoon love the sods law approach :-) Let us know how you get on with the POAS.

@frazzlerock I'm sorry to hear how difficult your journey has been so far, it is so inspiring that you are moving forward now and trying again, and most importantly staying positive! my everything is crossed for you, let's hope this thread can help keep that invincibility up there :-)

Xxx

Morning everyone :) sorry for the silence, not been feeling great. Will catch up properly later but congratulations @SoBoredOfWaiting, great news. Nice to see some new faces too.

Am due on any day now, start of a new cycle soon :)

Sorry to hear that @VenusStarr. I hope you're starting to feel more positive again. What's working for you at the moment?

@KnitKitty, I feel the need to apologise for not answering your book question. I read a lot, but somehow got stumped thinking about what to recommend. (Possibly because at the moment I'm obsessed with my new cook book and that's just weird...)

The best self help book I've read, by miles, is How to lift depression fast by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell. We all have fundamental needs that need to be met and abilities that need an appropriate outlet. It helps you identify what is unmet or misused and find a way to change that. It's brilliant.

I read Eat Pray Love. Loved both Eat and Pray, wasn't fussed about Love. I think You Can Heal Your Life is going on my list next. When I've finished my cook book.

@VenusStarr sorry you're not feeling well. Is it general pre-menstrual hormones? Or something a bit more concrete? Either way

Talking of self help books, my favourite is The Inside Out Revolution by Michael Neill. I've seen him doing talks in real life and he really is very good. There are some excellent youtube clips too.

Well I tested and I got another BFN so my AF is just being a funny thing and trying its best to wind me up. I won't let it dammit! CD44 and the massive spot on my neck has gone but I have a massive spot on my face which has been coming up and going down again the past two weeks where my hormones are going mental waiting for AF to arrive. I feel like I need a release as I am very tearful and short tempered. Flipping hormone eh!?
I'm wondering if it is the excitement of TTC as this is the first month we've started again. Or could it be the supplements I am taking? I have been taking Organic Shativari (supposedly good for the soul and lots of positive stories about getting pregnant while taking them) and also food grown fertility supplements. I've never taken these before. when we were TTC before I took synthetic fertility supp like pregnacare..
Who knows! I feel like I need a hormonal release, like I have a big ball of angry hormones inside me waiting to get out.

But my positive thought for today is that my body is picking a healthy ripe egg to release next cycle

I hope you all have a happy Tuesday

Hi Sunshine Ladies,

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, life has got busy.

I will post properly later, but just for now here's a couple of quotes for the day:

"Ships don't sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down."

and

"We rise by lifting others."

Sorry I didn't come back yesterday. Thank you for the flowers @Frazzlerock and your message @ChaosMoon. I think it is pms blues. Am due today I think and trying not to think about it but struggling a bit. I went for a run last night and felt a bit better. I'm feeling physically a bit rough with a headache and a bit gassy but it will pass I know.

The sun is shining again and I am grateful for what I have. It's great to have support from you guys who get it, thank you x

Crossfitgirl I totally agree that booking yourself in for things which make you feel better after is a good idea.

ChaosMoon I'm so glad that you felt ok when AF arrived. This is what this thread all about.

Frazzlerock any sign of AF yet? I really like the metaphor from your life coach! What is it like seeing a life coach? How do they work?

Sorry VenusStar that you're struggling at the moment. Hope you're pampering yourself this evening or doing something nice for yourself.

Thanks for the book recommendations ladies.

Tomorrow I'm going to meet my mum's new cat. It's a 10-year-old rescue cat that I suggested she go and visit and they fell in love. He'd only been viewed by one other person in two months! He looks like a lovely friendly chap so I'm really looking forward to that.

Also having lunch with my dad and sister tomorrow.

What's made your day a bit happier today?

For me it was getting a lift home by a colleague. Nice not to have to walk when you've been on your feet all day sometimes!
It's the small things!

@Frazzlerock that must be so frustrating. Your doing so well keeping positive. I really hope af shows soon.

@VenusStarr I'm glad we can help, even if it's only to take the edge off.

How lovely @KnitKitty! I have a friend who works on a refining centre and if I had my way, we'd have a house full of old cats! DH it's allergic though.

We had good news in work today about some of our team members. Thought they were being made redundant, but we get to keep them.

ChaosMoon that's excellent news about your colleagues! What a relief! :)

You know how they say you should do something that scares you or try something new every day? Do you ever try to push yourself out of your comfort zone?
I do tend to find I have the best days when I push myself a little more.

I've just sent an email to a reiki practitioner to ask about availability for a session. I've not tried it before and I felt nervous even enquiring about it, but that's my thing for the day.

Anyone else pushing their boundaries today or this week?

Quotes for today:

“It’s ok to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” Unknown

“Leaving your comfort zone is hard. Staying broke is hard. Pick your hard.” Unknown

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Unknown

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

Hi all,

So AF finally decided to roll in at about ten days late (compared to longest cycle the past year or so). CD46... Better late than never, eh?
I had another pink er...wipe yesterday morning which I thought was the start of it but it wasn't. So I booked a GP appointment for today and as if by magic... hello AF! I also wore white today just to add fate tempting. It worked.

I spoke the the GP anyway and told him everything and he said he doesn't think it is anything to worry about but if it happens again next time then I should go back to him.

So a sparkly brand new cycle for me then at looooong last

@VenusStarr how are you feeling today?

@KnitKitty My life coach is fab. I have been to several counsellors since our MCs and none have really done it for me. I just find I am going over stuff all the time and not really addressing anything, if that makes sense? I felt like I was constantly opening a wound so that it wouldn't heal. Then one of my best friends suggested I see her husband - a qualified and highly experienced Life Coach or Transformative Coach, whatever you want to call him. He said the same about counselling. He said if you cut your hand you wouldn't keep picking at it, you would leave it alone to heal.
They way he works is that feelings are simply thoughts. None of them are actually real nor are they information about ourselves. We are all human experiencing a human existence, our thoughts are naturally completely transient and, if left alone, can come and go very easily and organically. It is only when you start analysing these thoughts and pushing them away, or forcing yourself to be happy that they become hard to bear.
After all, being happy has come from a thought, just as feeling sad or angry or scared has done.
It's all about accepting the thoughts, whatever they are, and being okay with them.

I absolutely love this Youtube clip. It is 15 minutes and really grounds me when I'm feeling anxious or sad.

How is the cat doing? We have three. A nine year old girl and two kittens (boy and girl). Well, they are actually about to turn one so not so kitteny anymore . They are all tabbies which I just love!

Reiki eh? I had that done once by a friend's mum and I have to say I was impressed with what she picked up! I've not had it done since. Let us know how that goes.
Talking of pushing boundaries, I have started yoga for fertility. I started last night (mobile app), maybe that is what brought on AF today...

@chaosmoon ahh that is wonderful news, I bet they are pleased!

My happy quote for the day is
Fresh cycle, fresh start

Hi all. Pleased to hear you're on a fresh, new cycle :) @Frazzlerock, finally! I'm doing OK thank you. No sign of my af yet, am a day late. Typical the month I don't track / monitor anything. I did a cheap test this morning and it was stark white so I must have ovulated later (if I did at all!) I'll check out the you tube clip later, thank you.

I have 2 tabby cats, they are great. They have such different personalities. I've enjoyed watching them play in she sunshine these last few weeks chasing butterflies :)

I've been having acupuncture, it does help me relax, have had about 4 sessions so far.

Waving to @ChaosMoon and @KnitKitty 👋

Congrats @Frazzlerock! Fresh cycle definitely = fresh start. Your life coach sounds excellent. I wonder what training he did...

@KnitKitty I love being out of my comfort zone. Even if I want to cry at the time, the exhilaration after is always worth it. That's why I threw myself out of a plane last year. Haven't found the edge of my comfort zone yet today though.

Today's quote, which has been making me smile - a diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure!

Hi@ VenusStarr! Just saw you there. I love the idea of acupuncture.

Oh and @Frazzlerock I've been interspersing my usual yoga with fertility yoga and wishing I could tell if it worked. I like to think it has for you!

Happy Friday sunshine ladies!

Today's affirmation - My eggs are healthy and happy to be released during my next ovulation.

Thank you @ChaosMoon, I like your affirmation :)

I'm on to my new cycle, two says later than usual but I believe the acupuncture is adjusting my balance, giving us the best possible chance of conceiving our baby. Off out with dh tonight, what is everyone up to over the weekend?

Happy Friday everyone :)

Hi ladies!

Sorry I've not posted for a few days. I've been working all weekend and life got a bit busy.

Frazzelrock I'm glad AF finally arrived. Hope it's not been a bad one. I have had the same feeling about counselling in the past; unless you just need to talk to someone about how you're feeling I don't see it as very useful therapy for me since I easily talk through things with my OH and family and friends, but I think it can be useful for anyone who finds it hard opening up to close friends and family and who needs to hear someone say that they understand how they're feeling. The most useful therapy I ever had was psychotherapy. It actually dealt more with solutions than the problems themselves, and I think that's what your life coaching sounds like. It might give it a go some time.

The cat is doing really well. Settling in and I've met him and got purrs from him! My mum is really happy to have a cat around again. Her last cat died at the age of 21 a couple of years ago.

How is the fertility yoga going?

VenusStar I tried acupuncture a long time ago (more than 10 years ago) and didn't really enjoy it, apart from the massage at the end. But I don't think I was willing to give it a good enough go. I wasn't very good at relaxing back then so I just found it tedious! lol! I'm glad it's working for you. I hope it is putting your body and cycles into better balance. Good luck with your new cycle!!!

Wow, I don't think I have the guts to throw myself out of a plane ChaosMoon but I can imagine it's exhilarating if you've got the guts to do it!!! What an amazing experience!

I've had a lovely weekend. I've been at work, which has been fine and a colleague I like working with got back off holiday so it's been lovely having her back around.
Yesterday evening my OH and my family went to a French restaurant to celebrate the 14th July (French bank holiday) and I had a nice time with them.
I've been in my FW this week, and have managed to stay calm about it and not obsess about trying to DTD as often as possible or anything. OH doesn't have the highest sex drive so I had a couple of days pencilled in to try and seduce him! As expected it didn't go quite to plan, but I didn't panic and actually he surprised me with a morning session today! It feels so much better not nagging him about it and feeling that it was more pleasurable than a chore.
I should ovulate tomorrow if my cycle is the same as the last couple of months, so fingers crossed today's canoodling did the trick!

I have my reiki session tomorrow afternoon so I will let you know how that goes! I'm quite excited!

I hope you've all been having a lovely weekend!

Just watched the video Frazzelrock, it's really wonderful!

This is exactly what this thread is about.

When I first started TTC I was excited and nervous, but in a good way.
After losing my first pregnancy I felt very low for a while and had been noticing thoughts of doom and gloom about any future pregnancies and doubting my ability to get pregnant again or for it to be successful if I do fall pregnant again.
I know these are just thoughts, and I don't want these thoughts to be the ones I listen to.
This thread is about finding that excitement again, knowing that any experience I have from now onward has nothing to do with the experiences I've had in the past. I might as well have just stopped taking the pill. I've got a clean slate, a fresh start, and that's why we shouldn't feel disappointment when AF arrives, but excitement because we're given a brand new chance all over again!
We can choose if we listen to the positive voice or the negative one, and I chose to listen to my positive voice today.

I think I'm rambling now and not sure I'm putting across the point I wanted to make, but anyway, thank you for sharing the video, it's great!

Oh how could I forget about this lovely thread. Well it's been a rubbish day but even tho I had the faintest possible bfp if only for a couple of days, at least I can say I defied all odds and Google searches and nearly made a baby at 40 within 4 months :) Feeling much happier that next month we've got a better chance than I thought! Plus my DP is a star and did a good job as my enabler at the ice cream aisle in Tescos today!

Keep meaning to watch that video but I forget whenever I'm on wifi.

@CookieWaffle glad you found your way back here and that you've found the positive in this situation. And it really is one.

DH and I spent yesterday wandering round our local wetland centre. It was so peaceful and revitalising!

@KnitKitty that's a great attitude for your fertile week. I need to think the same way as I'm just coming into mine.

Today's affirmation. I trust my body.

Hi again CookieWaffle sending you hugs this morning.
I wish my OH was an ice cream enabler! I really fancy some Ben and Jerry's Peanut-butter Cup ice cream... UUUuuuuummmmmm!

Quote for today:

"Be the energy you want to attract." Unknown

Hi again Sunshine Ladies

I just got back from having my reiki session.

It was nice and relaxing. The lady was lovely. We had a long chat about why I was there at the start and discussed the MC and my strange gynae history and my need for balance in my life at the moment and how I'm trying to focus not only on TTC again or the MC but on other things as well.

She said a few lovely things. One was that MC was like losing a spirit, which touched me.

She also said when pregnant the pregnancy becomes part of you and it's hard to find who you are again afterwards without the pregnancy and probably my womb and ovary are also missing the baby and being part of that creative process. She told me to visualise my womb and ovary and welcome them to me when she had her hands placed over that area.

She also used a crystal pendulum over my chakras at the beginning of the session and actually paused to tell me that my 3rd eye was wide open, but I'd closed off my emotions. She said creating a pregnancy was sort of the ultimate way of being creative and she thought I'd completely shut off that in other areas of my life to help me "move on" and expected I felt a bit nothingy about everything at the moment. (Not quite how she put it, but it's the phrase I'm using!)

This is completely true. I was very low for a couple of months after MC and then decided it was time to pull my socks up and "move on" but I've just been struggling with feeling like everything is stagnant and unfulfilling.
I found it hard when my sister announced her engagement and the fact she was soon getting a puppy a couple of weeks ago. Lots of people have been getting promotions or new jobs and leaving my place of work recently, and I've been feeling a bit left behind and like nothing good or unexpectedly wonderful ever happens to me. I've just generally been battling the blah! Although, meditation has been helping and I have been feeling more upbeat than I had been (if that's not too much of an oxymoron)

She said while she understood the strategy and the need for it at the time, she felt it wasn't serving me well anymore and I need to not be scared of opening up again. She said I should just be me and everything else will fall into place.

During the session I was very relaxed and then a couple of times out of nowhere I started crying silent tears. It was a lovely gentle release.
I've realised on my way home I haven't really been thinking much about the baby I lost and have been rationalising away my feelings and putting it to one side. So I've just been spending some time thinking about Little Pea and I think I'll get out the scan again later and possibly have a good cry if I need it.

Glad I went.
Feeling very relaxed too.

I have been queit on here recently but have been patiently waiting and got my first BFP in 6 years this morning xx

This is incredible news Angelmiracle!!!

I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy.
I know this is the TTC boards, but feel free to stick around to share the positivity for as long as you want to. :)

This has really made me happy this evening!

@KnitKitty Thank you so much I have loved the positivity that flows from this thread!!

It's such early days I will continue to be on the Conception board with the lovely ladies I've gotten to know.

It's been a long while ttc#2 and a big part of it I feel was stress and I've been trying to reduce that and stay as calm as possible. It has certainly helped.

All of you keep the faith and hope it WILL happen for you 💕💐🌟🌟🌟

Fabulous @Angelmiracle and fabulous nails to go with that beautiful pink line! xx