Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

Have a great evening, sunshine ladies. I hope your day all went well xxx

Here here @TedLife !
Everything you said 👌🏼

Good luck for tomorrow!!!

TedLife I totally agree with you on what you said about periods. Getting pregnant is not an easy thing. There are so many factors involved and it is called the miracle of life for a reason. And as someone said earlier in this thread, even miracles take a little time (Disney quote). The fact that our bodies are intelligent enough to know when pregnancy hasn't occurred or that a pregnancy which isn't healthy has started and is able to cleans itself is really amazing. how incredible we are!
Did you test this morning?

Well... I've been offered the job! And I've accepted it.
I'm a little nervous about taking on a new job while TTC, but I'm trying to let the ferocious feminist inside me be bolshie about her rights as a woman. Teehee!
No start date or anything yet, and a lot of paperwork to get through before this is official. But feeling good about it.

I also saw this lovely rainbow yesterday a few hours after accepting the job and it felt like a good omen. (It doesn't look as bright on the photo as it did IRL).

How are the rest of you lovely ladies today?

I'm just having a calming cuppa of camomile tea before I set off for work.

Ahhh yay i’m so happy for you @knitkitty! I changed jobs last month and it’s improved my state of mind so much. We took a short break from ttc until I started so am just within the eligibility period for company mat pay. Incredibly fortunate to have conceived this month and I’m sure my state of mind has helped!

Happy bank holiday sunshine ladies.

And massive congratulations @KnitKitty! It's sounded like you've been ready for a change for a while. Listen to your ferocious feminist. Whenever your bfp comes, you'll make it work.

@Eastend2015 that's perfect! You have plenty of time to make a good impression before you go on mat leave. How are you doing with the morning sickness at the moment?

Oh wow @KnitKitty well done you! I really should've quit my job a long time ago but I've held off mainly because of the whole TTC lark. Stupid really but I know they'll be supportive and flexible. Just trying not to let the day to day stuff annoy me (and failing badly).

We're in mid BD season at the mo. DP is totally on a mission this month and wants ideal dates in advance. He's been doing plenty of googling too. Don't think he wants to see me upset again, bless him. He's starting to talk to me more about this whole process and I think it's helped to bring us even closer together.

Hope you ladies are having a lovely BH weekend xx

Oh isn't he a sweetheart! I really hope it pays off @CookieWaffle.

Hello all! I'm a bit late joining the party but I just stumbled across this thread and it feels like fate. I have been on the TTC after pregnancy loss thread for a long time and recognise lots of names on here. Hello! 👋 I also remember this thread being mentioned but I think I wasn't in a great place mentally so didn't look then.
I've taken a bit of a MN break recently to get my head back in the right place. I didn't feel positive and didn't want to write about that as I felt like if I talked about being negative I would be feeding those thoughts. I am feeling much happier now and plan to focus on the good in my life, be as healthy as I can, laugh every day, enjoy my DH and DS and continue to believe that I can get pregnant again and it WILL happen. So I was looking for something... and I found you lovely ladies! And I love that the person that started is none other than the lovely @KnitKitty. Also a fan girl here! ☺
@TedLife I agree with you so much and your comment was an eye opener for me. I have referred to af as the witch many times without really thinking. I saw this affirmation which sums up what you said well.
'My period reminds me my body is functioning properly.'
I will try and remember this if it's not my month this time.
And for now- 'I choose to heal from past hurts and disappointments'

Thanks Eastend2015, it's nice to know someone else is starting a new job and a new pregnancy at the same time. Hopefully I'll be doing the same. How are you doing at the moment?
I did wonder about postponing the TTC for a couple of months, but OH said I wasn't pregnant when I applied for the job so not to feel bad about it if it happens. I shall take his advice! No guarantees of getting pregnant soon anyway, so we shall leave it up to fate.

Getting the new job has been a marvellous distraction from TTC stress. I haven't really been thinking about it at all, which is a nice change of pace, and I even allowed myself a few alcoholic beverages when we went out for dinner the other night. Life is feeling pretty good at the moment.

Thanks ChaosMoon. How are you?

CookieWaffle You've got a good'un there! I sometimes wish my OH was more interested in the how-to-make-it-happen-quicker plans, but he's more for just letting nature run its course and see what happens. A bit maddening at times. I hope you have success soon! Best of luck to you this cycle! xxx

Boboelephant so pleased to see you here! Talking of fan girls, I'm yours!
Glad to hear you're feeling better again. You are entitled to your down days/weeks, sometimes it helps to have a good old wallow. I recommend just perusing through this thread from the start to get a pick-me-up whenever you need it. I've had down days and gone back through and reread everything and felt so much stronger again afterwards!

How was everyone's bank-holiday weekend?

I was working on Saturday and today, but I had a nice day at home yesterday. My mum dropped by for lunch and I did some knitting. Work has been ok too.

@KnitKitty haha thanks hun. We can be each other's little fan club then! 🐱🐘❤ Congratulations on the new job!! 👏👏

I'm good thanks @KnitKitty. Cramping and nausea still going strong but I don't care because I'm still riding the high of seeing a heartbeat on mt follow up scan on Friday. In reality, we saw a smudge that could've been anything and a flicker that the doctor tells us was a heartbeat, but even that was awesome. Roll on the 12 week one so there's something recognisable!

Your OH is wise. It's a good decision to carry on and not worry about it.

Welcome @Boboelephant. I'm sorry to hear about your loss and I'm not surprised you have darker times. But it's great that you've got yourself to a more positive place now. I'm glad you've found your way here too.

@ChaosMoon thankyou and a massive congratulations to you on your bfp and seeing a heartbeat!!! How exciting!!!

😊 Thanks @Boboelephant

@chaosmoon that’s brilliant news! How far along are you now?

Thanks @knitkitty, I felt terrible on Saturday- kept throwing up and couldn’t even hold down water. It was so bad I thought I actually had a bug. Since then things have eased quite a bit so now I’m worried that things aren’t progressing. Unfortunately strong symptoms haven’t always meant a good outcome for us and given how variable things have been I don’t know what to think!! As you suggested- trying to re-read the affirmations in this thread and accept what will be will be. When do you start the new job? What are you knitting?

Congratulations on the job @knitkitty! That’s really great news and will be a fantastic distraction from ttc madness. I’ve been in my new job since end of July and it has def helped me - if nothing else I’m just too busy to be constantly googling random things!

I’m feeling a little bit shaky this morning - I think it’s because I normally get my positive opk on cd 17 (today) & still no sign of it. I’m sure it will just be a bit late as has happened before but it does knock me a little bit when things don’t happen as expected. Think I need to do a little re-read of this thread and get my positive vibes going again!

Hey @Boboelephant, I know what you mean about needing a break from here. I've been quietly lurking for the past couple of weeks, mostly to find out how others are getting on. Its hard to come up with something to write when feeling rubbish.

Ah @ChaosMoon I'm so happy for you, I can't believe a heartbeat already! That's pretty exciting and a little scary! Hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx

@sweetpea0318 sorry you're feeling a bit rubbish, I hope it turns up soon to ease your mind xx

Ahh @Eastend2015 sorry you've been a bit unwell xx

Our bodies are amazing things and hugely complex, so much so that with all the years of research we still don't know everything about them and why they do things the way they do it. It's frustrating for someone like me who deals with computers and languages all the time and if there's a problem I just go into the code and fix it, I hate not knowing why something is not working and want to know the solution. This process has taught me a valuable lesson in just accepting I can't always fix things and make things work instantly. I'm not totally there yet but at least I understand why I feel the way I do which eases my mind a little.

That being said I'll still be investigating other solutions when the time comes! I'm trying to hold out a little longer!

@Eastend2015 I'm 7 + 3. It sucks that your morning sickness calming down its a source of anxiety, not a win. I completely get it though. I found this amazing charity called Tommy's - have you come across them? Their pregnancy health information has the Information Standard, which basically means it's guaranteed to be based on science - a rarity with pregnancy info. But mainly they're a miscarriage and still birth charity. They have a midwife led helpline, so they're great if you want to talk to someone about your anxieties or have any questions. Might be worth giving them a call.

Thanks @CookieWaffle. Our bodies really are amazing aren't they? But I totally get what you mean about wanting to understand it better. My body is me - why am I keeping secrets from myself? It's funny but DH codes, and he's exactly the same about wanting to understand things - including his body - and fix anything that isn't quite right. I'd never connected the two before! I'm glad the understanding you have is helping thus far.

Sorry you had a difficult morning @sweetpea0318. I hope this afternoon's gotten better.

Eastend2015 I'm knitting a blanket at the moment. Might donate it to my hospital if it turns out ok. They sent an advert out asking people to knit blankets for them, so...
I totally understand your panic with the sickness subsiding, but it is very normal for symptoms to fluctuate a lot. Stay strong lovely lady. xxx

sweetpea0318 great that you've recently changed job too (belated congrats!) Hope you ovulate soon! xxx

CookieWaffle not understanding ourselves can be totally frustrating, but fascinating too!?

ChaosMoon I found Tommy's helpful when going through miscarriage. They're a good source of information.

Well, I'm off to my happy place now... Bake Off and knitting! What a blissful evening!

Hope you've all had a good day today! xxx

Hi ladies. Wondering if I could join
See a few ladies I know @ChaosMoon @CookieWaffle @Crossfitgirl so these know my story.
Been TTCing 3 months. Fell pregnant last month and unfortunately miscarriage start of this month. I'm ridiculously fed up of this journey this month due to thinking I've ovulated. Body telling me I'm pregnant again. Doing my head in! Hoping my period will come soon as it hasn't since miscarriage ( 5 weeks ago ). Hope you all have had a good journey and sorry if you just haven't. Love keeping people positive. ❤️

Morning lovely ladies,

So I got my smiley face opk this morning - only a day later than expected but my reaction yesterday has made me think. Although I’m saying that I’m cool as a cucumber about ttc at the moment, my immediate reaction & quick descent into the crazy shows that perhaps under the surface I’m not as calm as I think I am. So I’m going to step up my self care again a I’ve let it slide a little bit these last few months - as of today I’m back to eating well, positive daily affirmations, restarting my gratitude diary, and weekly yoga - I used to do yoga yin regularly but haven’t done so for months so that is going to change! New morning, new me, new PMA!
With that in mind, these are my affirmations for today:
‘I trust my body. It knows how to conceive a healthy baby.’
‘I release all built up emotional patterns that prevent me connecting to my inner self’

Have a lovely day everyone xx

Welcome aboard @Delilah7!

Ahh glad it appeared @sweetpea0318! Mine does seem to vary each month. Sounds like all great and positive things you're doing there. I decided to start a diet plan and I'm already feeling more energy and generally happier after being without sweet stuff for a week. Hopefully this continues!

Am overly excited at the moment about seeing another positive opk this month. However weirdly my temp hasn't risen today. This month has been a record though of 3 goes so let's hope the chances are good!

@KnitKitty I'm totally like, what I don't know frustrates me! However I have been utterly fascinated by my cycle tracking. I've loved it, I've learned so much about what happens to my body each month. I'm amazed they never taught us all this at school.

Agreed @cookiewaffle surely our bodies shouldn’t be such total mysteries?! It would probably help lots of girls self esteem/ self image at school if cycles could be taught more sensitively.

So the quotes for today; one is a message from me to my Sunshine Ladies, thank you for all being so supportive and lovely.
The other is a reminder that getting pregnant or having a baby isn't the be-all and end-all to our lives. We have so much to be proud of no matter what our TTC journeys are and we are not defined by whether we are a mum yet or not, or if we have lost little ones or have struggled to conceive. Always remember that there's a bigger picture going on, and be proud of yourself.

Hi Delilah7, welcome to the thread. My period took 5 weeks to show after MC. While it was hard to be bleeding again after losing little bean, I found having my first AF very therapeutic in a way, and like I could start to get closure, so I hope it's the same for you when/if she shows up. My EPAU told me anything from 4 weeks to 8 weeks is quite normal for AF to show up after MC, but if she isn't here by 6 weeks I'd just let them know in case they want to do any follow-up tests/scans to make sure everything is doing what it should be. Any idea if you've ovulated? Have you been TTC again already or are you waiting?

I'm glad it looks like you're ovulating sweetpea0318. I have moments like that sometimes, when it becomes suddenly glaringly obvious that I've not been as in-tune with myself as I'd thought. I'm glad you've realised some TLC is needed.
Someone should really create a TTC handbook. Tips on TTC, charting advice, ideas for healthy lifestyle (diet plans, exercise regimes) and a big-ass section on how to stay zen through the roller-coaster of emotions. Shall we all collaborate? I'll write to some publishing houses. We shall call it: The Mumsnet Guide to Surviving Trying for a Baby.

CookieWaffle I want to eat less sweet things... But Bake Off just started again... What do I do??? The temptation is so strong! Haha! I am literally Googling birthday cake ideas for my mum's birthday tomorrow as we speak...

Eastend2015 Oh how I wish important things about life were taught in schools... Proper sex education, lessons on money, bank accounts, credit etc to make people more aware of how not to get in debt, compulsory basic cooking skills and food health up to the age of 16 and life skills like interview techniques, growing vegetables, how to plan a food shop etc... Human Education, if you will. drifts off in to a daydream about the ideal school system
I daydream about how I'm going to raise my children and teach them all these things. I can't wait to bring little people into this world who will make it a better place. I hear people saying things like "I wouldn't want to bring children into this world" all the time... But we need to bring children into the world who are going to be like little rays of sunshine and make it a better place for everyone!
I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to shut up now.

So I'm CD26 today. I could be having a cycle anywhere between 28-35 days long so just waiting to see what happens!
Got some lovely distractions going on this week. My dad is coming for dinner tonight, and tomorrow night I'm going out with my mum for her birthday.
No pregnancy symptoms or AF symptoms. The only thing is I have been burping slightly more than usual. When I was pregnant and when I had the CP I was burping A LOT and it was my first sign, but trying not to get excited over nothing, as it seems like something I could just notice more if I'm looking for it. I may have just been swallowing a lot of air recently! Haha!

@KnitKitty thanks lovely. I'm 5 weeks without a period today with no sign and I'm normally regular as clockwork which is why they're keep an eye on me. Also think I ovulated around 13th or 14th based on EWCM & ovulation pains. We have just had sex as and when we feel like it which was a lot after. Made us very close....
that's what I want. Need it to turn up so I can move forward with this journey.
Your quote ' my only sunshine ' image down below made me cry. I sang that to my nannie as she was dying and it was our song. I needed to see that ❤️