Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

@KnitKitty I'm so impressed you managed to talk yourself round in the middle of the night! You're an inspiration.

Yesterday I read a Cochrane review of the evidence comparing people who time dtd with their fertile window and those who don't. Conclusion - not enough evidence But, they also said that while 68% of people believed they knew when their fertile window was, only 13% of people actually got it right. So of you're not temping our using opks, the nhs guidance of doing it every 2-3 days is your best bet.

Loving your affirmation @TedLife and the idea of being a temple of peace and tranquillity. I really need to hold onto that when AF comes. Going to be 35 this month and for the first time ever I feel like the number matters. It's stupid. Nothing is going to happen on my birthday that makes me any less fertile than the day before!

@CookieWaffle I hope its both a sign and that you get some chocolate!

Sorry to hear you're in limbo @KnitKitty. I hope you get a clear answer soon. I know what you mean about opks, I never got a positive when I did them and also measuring bbt I found it quite stressful. That's great that you didn't get hooked on a negative cycle of thinking, you're right, none of us know the future.

I got a lovely message from my dh earlier, he's been having to work extra to cover sickness and he's got something on his mind that is out of his control so he's obviously been reflecting and focusing on the positive so that was nice :)

I'm still in the tww, af due in 5 days I think. I'm feeling extremely bloated and uncomfortable but no other signs. Have been finding it hard not to think about it. Being back on this thread has helped though :) am on some training and we've finished early so bought some shoes for a wedding on the weekend and going to get my hair cut :)

TedLife I prefer waiting to see if AF turns up or not too. Somehow seeing a BFN is like someone shouting at you "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!" but when AF arrives it just feels more like being told "Try again." Don't know if anyone knows what I mean...
Oooh, a fertility massage? Hope it's nice. What makes it especially for fertility?
And of course, you ARE fabulous! Posted the pic for you...

Thanks ChaosMoon winging it can be a lot more relaxing sometimes.

VenusStar Great that DH is feeling positive.

Good luck in the TTW ladies!

A couple of quotes for today:
"No matter what happened yesterday, today is a chance to make tomorrow better. Make the most of the present and the future will be brighter." (Quote from livelifehappy.com)

"When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off, you sit still and trust the engineer."

Is anyone else driving themselves crazy at the moment with every little twinge, wondering what it could be? I know I’m being ridiculous, I don’t think I “feel” pregnant (not that I’d know as I’m only on cycle 1 ttc#1), but I am so aware of everything going on in my body! It’s driving me mad.

Yes! @Chanel05 trying to not focus on it but find myself drifting off. But that's what this thread is for! :) When are you expecting af?

Thanks @KnitKitty, I like those quotes

It’s good to be in it with other people, I’ve been quite in my head about it today. Not even due af until next Wednesday! 🙈 What about you @VenusStarr?

@Chanel05 I found that trying not to symptom spot didn't work, so this month I embraced it instead. It's actually been quite fun. I am fairly sure AF will be here tonight or tomorrow, as predicted, and I know I'll have a wobble. But then I'll take a leaf out of @KnitKitty's book and remind myself that my next chance has just started. What ate you doing to keep positive?

@VenusStar your DH sounds gorgeous. You have a good one.

I love that train quote @KnitKitty - it's so true!

It's a whole new world @Chanel05! You think you knew yourself and then suddenly you don't!

One of the managers was walking weirdly around our office the other day, we all looked at him strangely until I asked what's up. He said he'd been trying to find the location of the beeping noise. What beeping noise?? Oh I hear it now... oh god now this is annoying me.... Funny how you suddenly start noticing things!

Just done our tesco shop and my enabler OH helped me bring home chocolate and snacks for my working at home day tomorrow :) what a shame.

Ah thank you @ChaosMoon he is, I'm very lucky :) if af arrives, it's OK to have a wobble

Due between Sunday and Tuesday @Chanel05, I'm looking forward to a new cycle. It's great to be able to pop in here and feel supported by people who understand.

I had similar yesterday @CookieWaffle, an annoying low humming sound in the office, couldn't locate it but it was so distracting!

@ChaosMoon fx that af doesn’t make an unwanted appearance!! I’m off work at the minute on annual leave and I’m possibly having too much time to think as I’m not occupied all day. I’m excited to do a test as it will be my first one ever so I’m just trying to think that in itself is an exciting milestone, regardless of the outcome. Do I sound convincing yet?

@CookieWaffle you are so right! I’m usually so laid back in life. I’ve clearly found my limits!

@VenusStarr that’s very true! Are you having any symptoms? How long have you been ttc?

Sat it often enough @Chanel05 and you'll start to believe it! Do you have fun plans to distract yourself?

DH had booked us theatre tickets for tomorrow, so it's nice to have that to look forward to if af does arrive today.

Oooh what you gonna see @ChaosMoon? I love a good show but OH isn't really into them.

We're gonna go for a nice swim later. And it's a lovely. sunny day today!

Hi Chanel05 congratulations on starting your TTC journey! How exciting!!!
Were you on the pill or injections or anything before now?
Remember it often takes a few months for your body to right itself after a lot of forms of contraception, so giving it time to get into a natural rhythm is probably a good idea right now.
I came off the pill at the beginning of December and made getting to know my cycles my priority rather than putting too much pressure on TTC straight away as I'd read all the statistics about 1-2 years being normal to fall pregnant etc...
Of course that didn't stop me symptom spotting at every little thing and actually my first month off the pill was my worst for this. I think with my hormones fluctuating so much was giving me a lot of false hope. Bloated, feeling sick, random pains things...
As ChaosMoon said, trying not to symptom spot doesn't work, it's impossible not to (and it is kind of fun?). I just started making a diary of everything I noticed so I could learn about my body and get to know its cycles, and thought, if any of it turns out to be actual symptoms I can look back on it and think "ahh! that's what that was!"

CookieWaffle I'm jealous of all the chocolate and snacks. I don't start work til 12 today so I'm just having a little more relaxation time before setting off.

Theatre and swimming both sounds lovely! Have fun ladies!

Our visitors left earlier after a wonderful cooked breakfast courtesy of OH. Was lovely to see them and we had fun playing Mario Tennis. (Big kids).
I think AF may have arrived. OH and I took the opportunity to be alone again to DTD and it seems to have set something off... However my cervix does bleed on occasion so just waiting to see which it is.

@KintKitty thanks for the advice :) good idea on the symptom spotting diary, I do like to record things down so may give this a try. I’ve put bits into my app but don’t tend to go through it really. I was on the pill for 12 years and only came off in June so I suspect my body is wondering what on Earth is going on. I feel quite liberated actually not putting hormones into my body!

Chanel05 it does feel so liberating not being on the pill, doesn't it? I much prefer not being; I feel more me. I was on the pill for a long, long time too before December. As I said, the first month I was all over the place with hormones, but I actually got pregnant the month after (sadly it wasn't meant to be). Since MC I feel like my body is just needing some more time to get itself sorted out.

I think it's really important to build up a good relationship with your body and treat it as a good friend rather than an enemy.
I can totally understand why some people on MN talk about resenting their bodies for not getting pregnant quickly or causing problems; it is hard. But your body is going through the same emotions as your mind and we need to be kind to ourselves.

I like to think me and my ovary and womb are all in this together and when I get a BFN or when I lost my baby I feel sorry for my womb and ovary as much as for myself.

So the bleeding this morning was a false alarm, I believe it was my cervix bleeding. So, still not AF. Ho hum!

So I've just realised I deleted my reply earlier rather than pressing send. Oops!

@CookieWaffle were going to see Julie. I don't know anything about it, but I like going in without any expectations. Swimming today must have been glorious!

That sounds promising @KnitKitty. I have everything crossed for you. And everyone else. Xx

So here's my happy thought for today. I can't stop shaking.

Ahhhh @ChaosMoon I'm so happy for you!! Congratulations!! Ohh that's so exciting!! xxx

Thank you so much @CookieWaffle! It's a good job I woke up early (not on purpose) and tested then - I can't stop starring at it. I keep worrying that I've misread it. 😊

@ChaosMoon there's definitely no 'not' there. That's a very BFP! Have you told him yet? How has he taken it?

Oh wow I'm so desperate to test now. I don't think I'll make it through the weekend!

I have. Poor boy had about 3 hours sleep last night and he still managed to convey all the right emotions and give all the hugs. He also asked me to tell him again tonight before falling back to sleep. I'm ok with that moment. 😁

I bet you are! It's funny, I was disappointed not to test yesterday and the day before but I'm glad I didn't now. Good luck holding out - and good luck if you don't. 😊 As long as you're enjoying the ride, its all good. Sending lots of baby dust.

That's wonderful news @ChaosMoon, very definitely positive!! 🎉 so happy for you :)

When are you due @CookieWaffle? I'm due sometime between Sunday and Tuesday.

Sorry @Chanel05, noticed you asked me how long we'd been trying, been off the pill since December. No good news yet. Haven't had many symptoms this tww, got some cramps this morning.

How are you @KnitKitty? I really like what you said about treating your body as a friend. It makes so much sense, work together not against each other :)

So happy it's Friday! It's felt like a long week but finally going to get some quality time with dh.

Oh bless him. I love how they can fall asleep even after the most exciting of news. Mine fell straight to sleep after proposing!

I've been on Amazon already for some more FRERs...

@VenusStarr FF seems to think I'm due Thursday and I'm 7dpo today. Still having cramps and backache and finding this TWW pretty tough! Enjoy your weekend with DH xx

ChaosMoon Congratulations!!! What a wonderful thing to see first thing in the morning. (I mean for me, but even more so for you!!!!!!) I am so happy for you. I'm glad the waiting paid off!
Out of curiosity what brand of test is that? I don't recognise it.
I can't remember, are you TTC no.1?

I have my fingers crossed for you both VenusStar and CookieWaffle... Let's go for the hat trick!!

I'm fine thanks Venus. Feeling very calm. Since I've no idea where in my cycle I am now I'm on forced wait-and-see mode and it's actually quite relaxing.

I had some potentially good news at work yesterday. One of my managers spoke to a higher-up and mentioned they thought I'd be interested in a promotion when the job arises. The higher-up agreed that I'd be a good person for it as they said I seemed very 'level-headed' and hard-working. Even if the promotion doesn't manifest, it's nice to have got that feedback.