Staying Sane - Positivity during TTC journey

[KnitKitty]

Hi ladies,

So, TTC is an anxious and sometimes heartbreaking time and is just a constant roller-coaster of emotions:
Some of us have been trying for a long, long time and just feeling like it will never happen.
Some of us are trying after a previous pregnancy loss.
Some of us aren't seeing eye-to-eye with OHs.
Some of us don't have an OH to lean on and are going through it alone.
Some of us are trying with fertility treatment.
Some of us are trying for our first, and some our fourth
Some of us want to be trying but can't yet for one reason or another.
Some of us are dealing with health issues which may affect fertility or mental health.
And some of us are about to, or have just started trying and might be worrying about how long it will take or if this or that will effect fertility etc etc...

It's just not the funnest journey to be on and I thought we could do with a thread just for positive messages and thoughts.

SO, no negative messages on this thread, but feel free to post:
A positive mantra or affirmation you use or think someone else could use
An idea of how to relax or pass the TTW time
A nice thing that happened to you recently
A success story despite the odds
A picture or word of hope (rainbow pictures most welcome)
A positive message to those who are going through one of the above scenarios at the moment even if you're not on the same journey as they are right now
A nice/positive quote you've read or heard
Or something which brightened up your day

The idea is that anyone having a wobble for whatever reason can come here and soak up some positive energy to help them feel better.

I'll go first:
A mantra I have been repeating to myself at the moment is "Good things happen to me. I accept miracles in my life."

A word of hope for anyone thinking of coming off the pill or who has just come off the pill and who has a history of endometriosis; I have suffered with endo in the past and was very worried that the moment I stopped taking the pill I would get all clogged up with endo again, but I conceived in the second month after coming off the pill and I have a colleague whose wife conceived two children (one the first month after coming off the pill, the second the third month after the pill) without a problem even though she has endo too.

Right, who's with me? Any more positive stuff to share anyone?

Sorry to hear of bfn @KnitKitty, glad dh is there with you xx

Ahh so sorry @KnitKitty hugs

Oh @KnitKitty that sucks. Any sign of AF though? Your not necessarily out if she still hasn't shown.

No ChaosMoon. AF doesn't really feel imminent. But I have woken up to a load of spots on my forehead and that's usually a sign she's lurking.

I can't believe I'm letting myself hope still... But I'm so confused about the pains/sensations I was getting in my uterus and then BFN, that I'm wondering if they were implantation taking place and yesterday was too soon to detect HCG? I did have spots in early pregnancy as well.

I was reading that it takes about 3 days for the implantation process to take place. And I had pains/sensations for three days on the trot. They've now disappeared completely.
Usually with AF I get spots 2-3 days before, cramps the day before and then she shows up.
I've had no spots until now, Thursday I felt a stretching feeling in my womb, Friday I had cramps and Saturday I had an occasional pinching type feeling.

I'm not feeling very well today. My asthma is playing up for the first time in a few months.
(Of course I'm wondering if it's a sign...)

Time will tell I suppose!!!

Whats everyone up to this drizzly week?
We have friends arriving on Wednesday for just a night, but that will be a nice distraction, and I'm going out with colleagues for dinner at the weekend.
Today I'm on the late shift at work which means I can have a quiet morning at home and the "rush hour" at work is pretty much over by the time I arrive so should be able to catch up on jobs that need doing this afternoon.

It's OK (and good) to hope @KnitKitty. I'm sorry you're not feeling well today, hope you can get some rest before work later. It's really hard to stop your mind going into overdrive. I'm glad you have something to look forward to this week

It's perfectly possible @KnitKitty.

Stephen Hawking once said "Where there is life, there is hope." And who can argue with him?

Today I'm feeling slightly nauseous. There are 100 reasons to think I haven't caught this month. But I have 2 choices. To feel sick, tell myself it's nothing and feel anxious and down about it. Or to feel sick, have hope and get exited about what could be. Sick and miserable v sick and happy.

Telling myself it's nothing doesn't make me feel better when AF comes. It just prolongs the misery.

I read something else today that felt highly relevant to Tyne ttc journey.
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

@KnitKitty, i've just spotted this thread and can't thank you enough. It's totally turned my mood around today.
I've been following you on both threads and i'm really sorry if you're feeling low about potential AF arrival and if she is coming, I hope it's soon. I know the feeling of waiting, I had spotting from 9dpo and she fully appeared on 13dpo which was 1 day early. It did give me time to prepare though and not be totally crushed.

Some mantras for today, to hopefully help anyone who needs it:

"I deserve to have joy in my life."

"My life is a gift and I appreciate everything I have."

"I choose not to criticise myself or others around me."

Another mantra i'm going to embrace today personally is:

"I will not compare myself to strangers on the Internet."

I struggle a lot with seeing other ladie's BFPs on boards. It's not that i'm not glad for them but i feel so sad that it's not me, and wondering why it's not me. But I haven't lived their life or been through everything they have so I need to stop thinking about positive pregnancy tests as a limited quota that are given out to everyone else and I get missed. I will try to be better at this.

Sending lots of positive vibes and hugs your way today @KnitKitty, its great that you've got some things to look forward to xx

@TedLife I'm very bad at comparing myself to anyone, we all know we shouldn't! My mum has always taught me that everything happens for a reason and that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad reason, there's totally good reasons too.

I've always had this funny rule that if I imagine it happening it doesn't happen. This I totally believe after dreaming about the My Little Pony Castle and getting the Gymkhana instead (this wasn't recently by the way). So I'm trying to not even think about what it would be like to be a mum which is freeing my mind up for other distractions, like what's for lunch and why the Gymkhana was sooo much better...

Love those affirmations @TedLife

@CookieWaffle a bit of positive visualisation and you can be in that Gymkhana. Never let go of your dreams. 😊

Applejack was so much better than Majesty anyway.

Damn I'm showing my age.

What? Majesty was the best! (I never had Appljeack)

That's what keep telling myself haha :)

Thanks ladies, as usual you're like rays of sunshine.

Welcome to the thread TedLife, so glad that we've managed to help your mood today. That's made me smile. :)
I think not comparing yourself to strangers on the internet is definitely a good idea. I totally get what you mean about feeling like there's a certain quota of BFPs you miss out on because others have had theirs... But it's not the case. We will both have to work on this together!

And CookieWaffle I do that too... feeling fearful something won't happen if I've thought about it happening too much or wanted it to happen too badly. But actually, the opposite is true from research... Visualisation (as discussed previously in this thread) is a really powerful tool the mind uses to get what we want. Don't be scared to imagine the life you want!

I've just started feeling "periody" so I think AF might be about to knock on the door. I'd like her to arrive if she's coming because it'll be the start of a new cycle and usually my mood improves massively once I start bleeding. I think I just need a good shed.
Maybe this longer cycle is my body doing something different and getting properly ready or a healthy pregnancy... No way of knowing, so will just hope and wait.

Thanks for your support everyone. xxx

@KnitKitty if she is due to come, I hope she arrives soon for you. Good to hear you speaking positively of it though. I do love the way as soon as she's here you're automatically on to CD1 and it really feels like a fresh start.

With that in mind, I think today's affirmation from me will be:

Every time my period comes I rejoice in the fact that my body is functioning correctly.

Hi @TedLife thank you for that affirmation, it's helped me today. I've not been feeling too great the last couple of days so you posted that at a good time for me :)

Glad you're OK @KnitKitty

Well what I thought was AF was actually bowel cramps last night. sorry for TMI.
Still no sign of AF.

Will test again in the morning but I'm really not expecting a positive result. I don't feel pregnant, nor do I feel periody. I think possibly I just haven't ovulated this cycle and so I'm skipping a period. My cycles are usually regular since coming off the pill, but I do only have one ovary and a history of endometriosis so possibly I'm having a blip. Maybe my ovary just needed a break!!! I does do all the work on its own, bless it. Once I see a BFN tomorrow I'm going to try and put it out of my mind and hope my body sorts itself out. Possibly the pains I had last week were actually ovulation, in which case I'd expect a period sometime at the end of next week.

I am feeling loads better emotionally, anyway. Thanks for your support ladies!

TedLife I love that affirmation.

VenusStar have you started a new cycle? Hope you're finding ways to make yourself smile today. xxx Be kind to yourself.

Not posted a quote for a while, so here's one:

"Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean it will never happen."

I like to think that every month is a month closer to me being a mum. It's just I don't know how long the path I'm on is. I think we get impatient, like the kid in the back of the car on a long journey saying "are we there yet?" every 5 minutes... I like to think there's some exasperated guardian angel of mine in the drivers seat every month saying "just a bit longer!" and knowing where we're headed. haha!

I love that both those affirmations @KnitKitty @TedLife. And the idea that each is a month closer to being a mum.

Really glad you're feeling better KnitKitty, and sending you boatloads of baby dust for tomorrow. I'm might test in the morning too. My app said AF was due Wednesday, but yesterday it changed to Thursday. Now I'm anchored on something happening tomorrow but I know I should probably wait!

I had a weird taste in my mouth earlier, which I found very exciting, because I'm ridiculous. And I've broken so many things today. I almost told myself that was a sign but, as the name possibly suggests, creating mayhem is not so unusual for me...

You just made me chuckle ChaosMoon. Baby dust for you xxx

Ahh ladies, let us know how you tests go xx

I've had some really tense shoulders and headaches recently. Decided I needed a massage so last night saw a spot for an Indian head massage at lunchtime today. My god. I thoroughly recommend. I think the therapist was actually traumatised by the tightness of my neck as she game me a look when I said it felt a bit tight. I should sleep well tonight!

Sounds blissful @CookieWaffle. Glad she's sorted you out. ☺

Conversation with DH last night
Me: I can't decide whether to test in the morning
DH: would you be testing strategically or because you want to
Me: bit of column a, but of column b
DH: what's strategic about it?
Me: ... nothing...

Which had us both in stitches and I decided not to. But now I think AF is going to arrive and I suspect there'll be no point tomorrow. I guess that's one less piece of plastic in landfill...

I think I'm going to need to be aggressively positive today.

How are you all doing? Xx

CookieWaffle Your comment about traumatising the therapist made me laugh. Hope you had a lovely night's sleep. I once had a taster of Indian Head massage and it did seem good. Never had a proper one though.

Haha ChaosMoon at least having someone there being a sounding board is helpful. As you say, you've not wasted a test if it's negative, and if it's positive you will find that out in time. The waiting around is quite a challenge though.
Hmm... will try and think of some aggressively positive strategies for you...puts on thinking cap

Well it was another test and another BFN for me this morning so I can only conclude that my cycle is all over the place this month.
Someone on the TTC after pregnancy loss thread mentioned that heat can stop you ovulating, so I'm wondering if the weather we've had has affected me?
I guess I'm not out yet this cycle then... Best get back to it! Lol!
This puts paid to me knowing roughly when the best time is to DTD, but maybe winging it is better.
I'm going to have a chat with OH about possibly using OPKs but I'm not really sold on the idea myself so I'm not sure I even want to bother.
That conversation will have to wait though because we have visitors arriving around lunch time today. They're only staying one night, but it'll be a nice distraction.

I am feeling fine despite this period not showing up business. I've impressed myself actually!
I did wake up in the night worrying about endometriosis and what if I never get pregnant again and the one I lost was the only one I will ever carry etc etc etc... But I remember my last thought before going back to sleep again was "you don't know the future, there's no point worrying about it." I guess this positivity stuff is sinking in on a deeper level.

@ChaosMoon lol that did give me a chuckle this morning. I didn't test this month and AF just arrived, I did find it a bit easier to swallow than the stark whiteness of a negative pregnancy test. It's just personal preference but it helped me this month - though it is so very hard not to cave in!

Really going for the positivity this week, i'm on CD 6 and booked in for a fertility massage on Saturday morning. I am going to be a temple of peace and tranquility and not negativity and sadness this month.

I'm also trying meditation and trying to visualise being pregnant and holding my baby. I found when I was pregnant I was so scared id lose it that I was just a bundle of constant negative thoughts and then I lost it anyway. So positivity all the way!

As for today's affirmation, I thought this might be a nice change of pace.

@ChaosMoon sounds like the random conversations me and DP have! Aggressively positive sounds like me at work when all the bitching is going on and I want to quit! Keeping my fingers crossed AF stays away xx

@KnitKitty I totally understand the panics, but there was obviously a reason why it didn't happen that time and it doesn't mean it will never happen. Friend had a similar worry after having her fortune read. Was told she'd have 2 kids, had had 2 times where she'd taken the morning after pill and was convinced that was it for her. Now she has 2 kids...

I'm glad I tried out the OPKs, although I've only had the one positive it did give me an indication that I was coming up to ovulating at least.

@TedLife sorry for AF arriving, probably the best plan to wait on the testing. I hope the massage helps xx

Well 5dpo and having the same cramps and backache as last month. I'm really hoping this is a sign. Gimme a sign! Or at least get me some chocolate! :)