The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

[LookingAtTheStars89]

CALLING ALL YAMMER'S!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

Give me strength. Off to a big family thing today- pg SIL will be there. It’s going to be all about the baby. Must remember how happy I am for them, how brilliant an auntie I’m going to be and that their being pg doesn’t affect my chances. 😬
How many mins in do you reckon before we get asked about children. 5? 10? Will I even get my coat off before the questions start! 🤦‍♀️

Gosh, good luck and lots of strength @LexieJean - you can do it! I find sometimes acting out a role that everything is fine in my head helps in these sorts of situations. It's perhaps not that healthy as relies on full on self denial, ha. Alternatively try channelling masses of self focus and remembering your and your partner's journey is your own and doesn't relate or compare to others. Fingers crossed no feckin baby questions are asked! Folk should mind their own biz. x

Thanks @books. It was ok- totally side stepped the children question. Thought I did it quite masterfully actually, ha! OH commented in the car on way home that I totally changed the subject- he was mildly impressed 😂 hell of a long conversation about the baby’s possible names.....🙉

Am home from the hen party and feel like shite... not due to a ranging hangover.. but due to FP starting in the middle of last night. (Ffs.)

Now tucked up in bed with my DH downstairs watching tv. Feeling very sorry for myself (even though i KNEW it wasn't going to be our month) and just generally bla.

Anyone else find that actually TTC for this long can make you feel more disjointed and distant from your partner? :-/ its hard to describe.. and im probably only feeling so distant because i feel so damn ill.. but just feel.. i dunno.. fed up i guess. I think my husband has basically decided that IVF is the only way to go.. where as im still in denial. (Will probably still be in denial even after our consultation on friday.)

I dunno.. i guess im back to feeling like i have nothing to look forward to.. and ill never be pregnant. (Down in the dumps as always.)

@Pinkemi ttc is shit, but atleast you do have the appointment on Friday and can get things in motion so try and see the bright side. Sulking definitely permitted for a day or two though!

@Maddiie thanks! I will defenitly be sulking for the next few days I think. Need to get back onto the weight loss wagon etc etc.. I just cant shift the "Life is so unfair" feeling at the moment. (I gotta snap out of it.)

Going to nourish my body for the next couple of days.. once FP has gone then gotta get back into the swing of life again! no more mopeing and feeling sorry for myself.

Hi ladies how are we all doing? I've been feeling really anxious lately what with my job being so stressful, I need to take a personal break from work but my employer doesn't allow career breaks and let's face it all I want is to fall pregnant

We've managed to dtd twice this fw I think I ovulated yesterday or maybe today as appetite has increased. Anyway I really hope its this month I need to make some lifestyle choices now if it's not.

Anyone else in a similar shitty situation?

@Pinkemi oooh spa day in order. I'd love a spa day right now!!

@owlpatrol Make sure you don't tell them your TTC if you DO go for a Spa Day. I wasn't allowed my full body massage because i told them that I "could" be pregnant. (I was in my TWW.. I mean technically I could have been.) sigh

Your job sounds like a nightmare. :( Is there any way you could just take a few days off to re-charge?

I'm trying to not let work get to me.. just chill out about it and carry on as normal. Although I am finding it hard to find any joy in anything at the moment.. need to snap out of it!

I have my IVF consultation on Friday.. :( was trying to fill out the forms last night and just felt so overwhelmed by it all.

@Pinkemi oh yeah you're totally right, I've got quite a few days left because I was originally "saving them up" for mat leave. Sigh. Anyways home time now!

Oooh I am sending lots of hugs (and tea) for your IVF paperwork. I'm trying to stay super positive this month, it's the first month in a while where we could actually be in as we've done it twice fw sooooo here's hoping eh!

Well my positivity has been waning a bit this week- just so busy at work with a huge project trying not to let it stress me out. But I’ve been trying to do some yoga each day- mostly the the breathing and calmness. Fw just beginning here...

Spa day sounds lovely!

In the spirit of not getting too stressed I managed to piss off the nurse unit manager of my ward because she wanted to give a patient loads more Valium and I don’t think she needs it. My boss is overseas at the moment so no backup. Am well aware that if I was one of the male consultants this wouldn’t even be an issue

Ultrasound in 2 hours time, can’t come soon enough!

@BGDino oooh keep us posted!

I had a good chat with mum last night and although she said about 5 times to try and relax and not think of things, it did help to have a chat with someone in real life. I tried to jump on dp last night but we were knackered so fw is ending for me and I've definately ovulated now, so onto tww again. I'm trying to stay positive as we have at least dtd during the tww....

Ooh did someone say 'spa day' - count me in 😉 Hope everyone's weeks have picked up a bit. I'm confused as to whether I can be trying this cycle or not... does anyone know if you can have a hycosy test done at the end of your cycle (ie.a few days before period, poss spotting)? Ivr looked online but isn't clear. Although fw has commenced and dh is out of town working til Sat so poss might miss the window anyway dep on ov. I'm feeling pretty resigned to ivf as next step anyway. Even though I know odds are it won't work 1st go I feel the process might provide more info in terms of ovarian reserve/egg & sperm quality so we can make some more informed decisions.

My week has been so so... Just so nervous about tomorrow..

I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that we will be starting IVF.. I say sort of because Im still resisting slightly! lol

I just worry so much about work.. and trying to fit everything in without pissing everyone off.. just.. a struggle you know? Reading all the paperwork just made me more terrified of the whole thing. :(

I definitely DONT want to tell my manager what is going on.. Its going to be a juggle to get everything sorted so im not stressed but still able to go through with it.

I went to see my councillor this morning and she spoke a lot about things i "want" to do instead of things that "i should" do. Im always saying "I should do this" or "I should do that" and never really "I want to do this."

Like this weekend we are seeing a few friends.. and I instantly think.. my DH and I "shouldn't" drink. (We normally get quite jolly with these friends.)So i automatically went.. Okay ill drive! But actually.. we don't really go out that often.. and why SHOULDN'T i be able to get trolly-ed if i want to.. you know? Why shouldnt i stuff my face with cake and chocolate (like i normally do when i've had a few.) Its my life and my body!

But then i start worrying and thinking that with my low AMH level.. I dont have many good eggs left. What if the one that is slowly maturing now in my ovaries is a good egg and the fact that i get rat arsed ruins it? What if this is the egg... but because my DH was drinking.. his swimmers weren't up to scratch? So many what ifs!

But...

You would think that if i was that worried about it.. I would have lost weight by now.. I would have stopped eating dairy, gluten and refined carbs and sugar ages ago! (because i'm always reading that these things are bad for fertility.) But for some reason I just cant seem to stop doing these things. Alcohol is really the only one thing Ive managed to get stressy and controlling over.

gah.. Ive stopped saying to my DH that he can't drink. To be honest we go out so rarely i dont think its going to make a massive difference.. but it doesn't stop me stressing over it. I know i know.. drink until its pink.. but how do you not.. worry?! I would SO SO love to be able to go.. you know what.. ive had enough. I'm just going to live my life and if we conceive then great.. if not.. then onto IVF.

urgh.. im going round and round in circles.

I forgot my point of my story! haha

So because my councillor said to me that its time i did more of "I want" instead of "I should", I told her that actually i want to be able to play hours of Fallout 4! (So guess what I'm doing once I get back from the consultation tomorrow!) haha

I did think about the things I want to do... and thats really the only thing I can think of at the moment.. Except for I want to be able to have a blasted few drinks and not worry about it! HA!

Awww hun @Pinkemi I totally feel for you and absolutely get where you're coming from. I think everyone who struggles with ttc goes through the 'should I not have a drink or two', 'what else should I be doing to help get pregnant' etc etc. I think we each have to find our own balance and work out what we feel is reasonable and set some achievable aims so we feel proactive whilst balancing the fact that day to day things will change. For example I had quite a boozey Aug so I'm trying to keep to 3 drinks max a week in Sept in prep for trying sober October. But if (or when) I occasionally slip up I won't beat myself up about it. We need to still live our lives and enjoy stuff. So I agree with you - play Fallout 4 (literally have no idea what it is 😂) and truly enjoy yourself. Hugs x

@pink I’d like to echo @books I’ve had timed where I’ve changed my life b cause of the ‘just in case I’m pg’ or ‘this could help me get pg’ but I’m really trying to be more relaxed about the whole thing, part of my positive mental attitude. And I need a life !

@books they won’t do an HSG if you’ve tried- you have to abstain. Not sure with hycosy but I would have thought the same.

And good luck tomorrow @pink. My appointment with the ivf nurse is early October. I know what you mean about the paperwork- scary stuff!

@Booksandbaths1 hycosy is day 6-13 window. I have to ring up day one of period and if they've no slots ring up at the start of my next period. No trying during the cycle of the procedure either.

Just had my appointment with my new GP after my last one told me to go back in 5 years if I want a family.. she was amazing. Said that as it's been so long we'll start unexplained infertility treatment. I've given blood samples and arranged as perm sample for DH, if all is well she's happy to prescribe clomid and try and get things going. Feel so relieved.

Brilliant news @maddiie! So glad your new gp is taking it seriously.

So.. it looks like im doing IVF in october. doctor was not very encouraging about our chances.. but i guess they have to be realistic about these things.

Has BGDino updated? Hope you're ok chick.

Great news Pinkemi, stay positive.