The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

[LookingAtTheStars89]

CALLING ALL YAMMER'S!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

@nearlysummer2018. I am pretty much dairy free due to pcos any way. My one KitKat every now and then is neither here nor there.

My children have consumed full fat milk from the age of 18 months and the health visitor gave the go ahead for that. I've you can tolerate it, milk is very good for your teeth and bones. Schools give it out to the ks1 children here :-)

Hi OrnicusOrca

Nice to meet you (waves) i joined the thread a couple of weeks back.
I had been a bit delayed coming back to the thread and not been very good keeping up myself.

Im not sure what ultrasound is for but im sure all will go ok tommorow . Good luck XXX

OrnicusOrca

Hi @Lexie thankyou how are you? Xx

Its family expecting. They got my sis-in-law to tell me as were worried how i would feel. It was made very clear it was because of the failed ivf. The couple are the last people i expected to think like that tbh.

I really do appriciate the sensitivity and consideration for our feelings. I think thats what made it worse though all the tiptoeing round and the extra thought put into it. Its a big difference from how the last pregnancy was announced . Other announcements, even when in the process of refferal were treated normally. Its like its been acknowlegded (finally) that we are struggling. It feels like post ivf its confirmed now that were that couple. The infertiles .

They also apprently were not having any more children and there will be quite a large gap between them. Last pregnancy unplanned . This one planned and conceived first month . Think thats added to the shock/unexpectedness

XxX

They have said my 'ovaries look polycystic as your GP expected'. I didn't know my GP thought that. PCOS is quite common isn't it, I feel like I shouldn't be upset but I am. Need to find my big girl pants. An answer is good. The treatments for PCOS put you at increased chance of multiples according to google. I have twins in the family and one has cerebral palsy, so that's the kind of ring that springs to mind. I guess I should hope I can have successful treatment first and foremost. Feel a bit numb too because I wasn't expecting to be told anything but I'm glad I have been.

Thanks @LexieJean and @herewegoagain18 , sorry to hear you feel so down. I don't imagine they look at you like that at all, but that won't help how you feel which is what counts. Can so relate to your  TGIF, how shall we try and perk ourselves up?!

Sounds rough @herewegoagain I don’t know what’s worse the tip-toeing or the surprise announcements. I guess for others they can’t win because they don’t understand what we’re going through and have no idea how we’ll react. Personally I prefer the sensitivity but I’ve been mostly fortunate in how my friends have all told me theirs news. Just 2 particularly hard situations. Treat yourself over the weekend!

You too @orca Treats all round I say yammers!

@orca I don’t know how that diagnosis will feel but I hope you do feel better knowing there are some treatment options and I know there are other yammers who have the pcos diagnosis. Don’t feel guilty for feeling upset- allow yourself that sadness. None of us went into TTC thinking it was going to be this hard/lonely/sad/heartbreaking/rage inducing and I think my emotions are far worse when I don’t allow myself some time to feel crap and then try to carry on. It is totally ok you feel upset 💐

TGIF indeed. I feel some house decorating purchases or sales purchases coming on to cheer myself up! 😬

@orcinusorca Oh I'm sorry hun, I know full well the shock of getting told something medical that you weren't expecting. The good news is there are lots of treatments available and docs aim for singleton babies as much as possible. I agree, let the emotions out and treat yourself. Also maybe try to avoid dr google if poss, it never helps. Hugs x

@herwegoagain Hi! Sorry to hear about the ivf, FP and baby bomb. I totally know what you mean re the 'infertile' label. I think in some ways I prefer family not knowing. I've onky told a few close friends so far.

@LexieJean yep I'm in the same boat re weight. I've found unsalted nuts a good go to non sugary snack. Though I did have the most divine praline mousse last night, woops 😆 I'm aiming to be gluten free to see if I notice the diff but finding that hard too.

Anyway HAPPY WEEKEND Y'ALL 🌻🍾🍷🍹 (oh shit does wine have sugar 😂)

Haha! @books all thoughts of sugar disappeared when I ordered my wine! 😂

@Booksandbaths1 @herewegoagain18 strangely enough I’m very comfortable about being very open about needing fertility treatment, whereas only my immediate family and a couple of friends and colleagues know about my mental illness (major depression), including my boss who is super supportive and an absolute star.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, be kind to yourselves xxx

@LexieJean also my plan this month we want to do some decorating, what would be the spare room/nursery we have been putting off but now I'm going to make it into a proper spare room xx

Sending hugs out there.

Af came this morning and I've had a rotten week, me and dp had a massive row on Thursday about something completely irrational and at the end he said he didn't want another baby (he has 2 from previous) I was soooooo upset as you can imagine but we made up and he said he didn't mean it but it has put me in a weird mood for a few days. That with Af coming means I need wine and chocolate this weekend. Diet has actually been going well till af arrived!

I'm going to be pushing dp for sperm testing, after our row I had this dream that after his first wife he decided to have the snip and he hasn't told me! WHY am I so irrational. Obviously he laughed it off when we made up, but man it's been an emotional week.

Anyone else felt like that this week? Or just me hehe. Have a lovely well relaxed weekend all xx

I also got a baby bomb this week from a neighbour, although it's harder everytime I get one, I'm definately dealing with them a bit better "Oh just another one attitude"

Oh @owl that sounds like a really emotional week! I’m glad you’ve talked it all through- good luck with the sa for your dp. They don’t know how lucky they are just having to wank into a cup! My OH was in the room (albeit behind a curtain) for one of my internal ultra sounds and has been a bit more sympathetic since! And I’ve just been graphic in my descriptions of all the various tests I’ve been for! 😂 anyway- enjoy your weekend with wine and chocolate, sorry FP arrived.

@dino sounds like you have an amazing supportive boss. I would be more open about our fertility struggles and most of my friends know but my OH doesn’t want anyone to know.

Owl patrol I’m with you - rotten week, everything on my ‘to do’ list has gone wrong, hubbys been working overtime which led to a big fall out. I’ve been feeling really exhausted, queasy and lightheaded which got my hopes up that this was, at long last, our month, only to be bombed out again last night by the dreaded AF! Bawled my eyes out. Some months I can brush it off but some months just really really upset me and I just wonder if we’ll ever hit our own wee jackpot.
To make things worse, I’d spent the day shopping for 3 more newborn gifts that I’m dreading delivering. 3 close friends have all had beautiful baby boys within a year of their weddings, and I’m desperately trying to be happy for them and not a complete jealous cow. That has, of course, started the usual ‘are you not thinking about kids’ and ‘you’d both be great parents, do you not want kids’ comments from everyone and their dog. The final straw was a particularly insensitive ‘you’d better get a move on’ from an elderly relative! I could just cry all over again

@Owlpatrol. Don't take any notice of your DH when he says stuff, my DH said it once or twice in the last few months off ttc and it was just because he was frustrated x

@OrcinusOrca. I always knew deep down that I had PCOS - copious amounts of man body hair/irregular periods/yo yo weight etc but when they confirmed it via ultrasound in March and said I wasn't likely ovulating I was bereft. It doesn't have to mean the end if the road though even if you aren't ovulating - diet and/or medication can help. I was prescribed Clomid and weight loss and I'm now 10 weeks 1 day pregnant :-) and that's with a husband with

@LexieJean thanks hun xx my oh also didn't want anyone knowing but in the end I've started telling people now.
@Teachermummy83 aww looks like there's a few of us with Af at the same time. I agree some months are easier than others
@LookingAtTheStars89 thanks hun, men are so confusing!
He's been great today though, we've used the more cooler weather to start clearing out the "spare room" and done a charity shop run!

@teachermummy83 these sorts of comments are the reason why my OH and I have decided to start telling people about our problems. I'm a wreck at every family gathering incase someone says something and I get upset. We feel better having it all out in the open.

@Booksandbaths1 I think wine does have sugar haha! Anyhow my diet went totally out the window last night. So back on it tomorrow!

Thanks FairyAnn. I totally understand what you mean, I’m just struggling with the actually saying it publically. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like the minute I tell people we’re having problems, it confirms that we really are. I know burying my head in the sand won’t help either, but I can’t face the pity just yet x

@FairyAnn we found that telling my family just gave them more things to tell me I'm a failure at so it's not always the best thing. It also means people stop telling you things and ends a friendship.

Understandable @teachermummy83 and @wellyouarenice, it does depend on the people you tell I suppose

@fairyann I’ll echo that- it completely depends on the person you’re telling. A few friends have been massively supportive- no pity but one friend who knows how long I’ve been trying has just this week called me selfish for not visiting her newborn. You just can’t tell how supportive/understanding/helpful people will or won’t be. Unless they’re a yammer of course!

Gaaah ffs. DH and I moved to a new city almost 2 years ago. I made some nice new friends and every one of them is pregnant. Found out about the last one this afternoon. So now feel actually I'm not only not able to get pregnant but won't be part of the friend group new baby social stuff. No body wants to go for a drink and the chat is all about pregnancy stuff. Feeling utterly shit and upset 😣

Thanks all, and @LookingAtTheStars89 I'm so pleased it has worked out for you, will keep that in the forefront of my mind

Sounds like most of us have had dire weeks! Before this experience I never liked it when I got the 'when are you going to have kids, then?' Question, but it has an even worse meaning to a yammer. I will never, ever ask anyone that question. I'm quite a private person so am keeping schtum in the main although two of my close friends know. I'm probably 'luckier' than some of you in that most of my friends are still single so I don't have to suffer the same level of baby bombs, so aptly named. Hopefully that won't be coming, but who knows

Is everyone at work next week? Summer hols now isn't it, here's hoping for quieter commutes at least!