Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Help to work out who is the dad

54 replies

Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 09:27

Hey there
First time posting and a don’t know if this is the right place or the thread is still active but a have been hiding it since a found out a was pregnant and feel so ashamed but here he goes
I am 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow ( Sunday the 20th) and due on November 25th 2018 ... am useles with my period but have a rough idea when a conceived .. but am still confused so need some help.. a don’t know when my last period was but am guessing it was around feb ( anywhere from the 2nd to the 20th maybe ) :/ sorry a don’t know never kept track! A had sex with my current partner anywhere from the end of period in February up until the 5/6 of March and then we fell out and a stupidly went back to my childhood sweetheart and we had sex on the 7th of March and the 11th ,18th and 19th of March and that’s it ... not the nicest thing to do and a have regretted it everyday .. a want to get it right who the dad is before a come clean and be honest with everyone ! Please don’t judge me am heartbroken and have felt so down and a know it’s my fault .... so who is the dad ... the current partner or the ex ?a have done them conceive calculator but a don’t trust them and a.m. bed at math ! Sorry Thank you all so much for your help..

OP posts:
HoldTightPretendItsAPlan · 19/05/2018 10:01

Probably your ex. Sorry, I guess that's not the answer you want.

Mrsbarton · 19/05/2018 10:03

Going by your due date your last period would of started 18th feb (40 weeks before due date), meaning you would of concieved around 4th march...if you had regular cycles. I hope it all works out for you x

jigglepiggle · 19/05/2018 10:05

You can’t know for sure because you have given us an 18 day window for your period. Even then, unless you are regularly tracking ur cycles it’s hard to work out when you ovulated. These online calculators assume everyone has a 28 day cycle and ovulate 14 days in which is not the case for everyone. I don’t think you will know for sure until the baby is born and you can do a DNA test. But you should be honest with them both and explain the situation.

Mrsbarton · 19/05/2018 10:08

Going by what i said before, concieving on 4th march, that's only if you have bery regular cycles, the fact you slept with your partner the 5th/6th and then your ex on the 7th, its too close to know for sure, sorry :(

Bubblegum89 · 19/05/2018 10:08

If you are 13 weeks then your period would have been closer to 20th Feb. I would say it’s more likely to be your partner’s. I assume you will still be telling him about your ex either way though as you will need to do a DNA test to confirm the who the father is once your baby is born

AllyMcBeagle · 19/05/2018 10:09

If you're 13 weeks tomorrow then your last period should have started around 18th Feb. Conception would typically take place a couple of weeks later (~4th March).

It's hard to be sure though as you could have longer cycles so you could have ovulated a few days later (eg 7th March).

I think you'll need to get a DNA test once the baby is born to be certain.

stellarfox · 19/05/2018 18:00

Hard to tell for certain I’m afraid. It is still early on and you do have options, so if you are unsure what to do please go and discuss with a doctor.

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 18:06

thank you all so much for the replies and help and advice ... off me trying to work it out a thought it would be my current partners just because of my due date ( a have paid for two scans already and have an actual dating scan on his coming Tuesday ) ... the ultrasound lady said a would of convinced around the 4th she said .. wasn’t too sure and this is why a have had to come on her and ask as a haven’t got a clue about this stuff and counting back etc .. it is very confusing ... I just want to be sure before a open my mouth and spoil everybody lives .. a just want to be sure ....

OP posts:
Dietcokebreak1 · 19/05/2018 18:13

This might be a stupid suggestions but, could you not use one of those clear blue tests with with weeks indicator. Wouldn't that show how many weeks ago you conceived.

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 18:30

Not a stupid question at all ... thank you for your reply and a did use on when the doctor first told me a was pregnant .. a wanted to be sure and a tested and used them ( 2 of them lol ) and they Said 3-5 weeks+ ( a found out quite early ) and to be fair that didn’t really sum much up for me because a looked on the internet and people said they didn’t go off them as they weren’t accurate

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 19/05/2018 18:33

When you say before I open my mouth, do you mean that you’re not told your partner yet that their is a pretty good chance that the baby is not his? Because that’s something you really need to do sooner rather than later.

Vangoghsear · 19/05/2018 18:36

You cannot be sure until the DNA test result. Let's hope the men behave as Bridget Jones' partners did and are civilised about the situation - although in reality you may well end up on your own. It is the baby I feel sorry for.

AllyMcBeagle · 19/05/2018 18:38

the ultrasound lady said a would of convinced around the 4th she said .. wasn’t too sure and this is why a have had to come on her and ask as a haven’t got a clue about this stuff and counting back etc .. it is very confusing ...

It definitely is confusing. The key thing to remember is that they count from the first day of your last period and you will have typically conceived a couple of weeks after that (although as above this can vary depending on how long your monthly period cycles are). So it's a weird way of counting because for the first two weeks of your pregnancy you weren't actually pregnant if that makes sense!

The other thing to mention is that sperm can hang around inside you for up to a week, so unless your dates change a lot then it will be impossible to tell without a DNA test after the birth. Sorry Flowers

Did you use different methods of contraception with your partner and ex or have any issues with the contraception? If so, that might be a way of guessing which is most likely.

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 18:43

I have not told anyone .. not yet was hoping for some answers etc .. a.m. scared .. a have had two early scans .. one when a was 7 weeks and that said a would be due on the 29th of November and then had one at 11 weeks and that said a would be due the 25th of November so that confused me even more .. so if a conevied on the 4th does that mean it’s my current partners ? X

OP posts:
AllyMcBeagle · 19/05/2018 18:52

so if a conevied on the 4th does that mean it’s my current partners ? X

The problem is the dates they give you date not super accurate. At my dating scan they gave me a date which was 3 days before the earliest I could have conceived (we were trying to conceive so keeping track of dates and had flu for a over a week before so hadn't had sex whilst sick). They are just guessing a date based on the size of the baby and it can change at each scan.

So they could say they think you conceived on the 4th but really it was the 7th. Sorry to not have better news.

AllyMcBeagle · 19/05/2018 18:54

Sorry I meant 'the dates they give you are not super accurate.'

Pudding01 · 19/05/2018 18:58

If it was 100% that you conceived on the 4th, then yes. But with you having sex with two people so close together around that time, it would be hard to say for definite who the daddy is 😕 You will need to be honest to both and do a DNA test when baby is here. Every one deserves that, including you and the baby x

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 19:04

A have to do the right thing and it’s gonna destroy everything but your right .. they deserve to know .. a have had 2 early scans and one was at nearly 7 weeks and that first give me a due date of the 29th of November then had a second scan at 11 weeks and that give me a due date of the 25th of November and then have a another scan on Tuesday ( actual 12 week one from nhs ) so a didn’t know why a had two separate dates from the two scans .. have been trying to count back etc and work out who the dad is ... my last period would of been the around the 3rd ? Wouldn’t it sorry just been trying to work things out that’s all

OP posts:
Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 19:06

Sorry the 18th my period sorry a was just trying to work it out

OP posts:
MiggeldyHiggins · 19/05/2018 19:08

There is no way at all to tell, no-one here can help you. Around the 4th means the whole week of the 4th, and you had 2 different partners wihin 2 days of each other that week.
It could be either and anyone who tells you otherwise is bullshitting you. Sorry, but you need to face reality, you don't know and won't know without a paternity test.

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 19:09

A have a 27 day cycle of that helps and my last period was the 18th of feb

OP posts:
Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 19:10

Thank you for the reply’s

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 19/05/2018 19:13

I suspect you’ve be here with a similar query before, OP.

Something about using “a” when you mean “I” rings a bell.......

Original poster
Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 19:27

A.m. sorry a don’t get what you mean by your reply ? Is that for me

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 19/05/2018 20:36

Yes.