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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

STOP! Yammer time. 🍠

993 replies

SparkwoodAnd21 · 17/04/2018 21:19

New thread!

OP posts:
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Justwaitingforaline · 22/04/2018 16:10

Star I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you can find a way to enjoy your Sunday. If you do ever go down the egg donor route, I’d be more than happy to donate you mine. I’ve donated once before and will be doing egg share IVF if we need it Flowers

Sooz I watched a marathon in my home town this morning and a woman called Sooz ran past! Was it you?!?

Bubblegum89 · 22/04/2018 16:20

starwishing sorry to hear your news :(

starwishing · 22/04/2018 16:41

@MynameisJune I'm 35 so I know I'm pushing it in the fertility front. My consultant accepted me in the hope of getting through it all fast because they don't accept patients as geriatric mothers.

LookingAtTheStars89 · 22/04/2018 16:56

@Si1ver. You are so brave! I hope you get your bfp :-)

@starwishing. I'm really sorry to hear your news Flowers

@Bubblegum89. After my youngest DD was born I lost mine - I mean if I never had sex I wouldn't have been bothered lol. I had a good six months or so where it was very "fake it to make it" for DH's sake! Strangely enough, after my miscarriage it came back and it's pretty ok now. Maybe it's a hormonal thing? Have you had your estrogen and progesterone levels checked recently? They can affect sex drive.

SoozC · 22/04/2018 17:27

Just - definitely not! I don't do running, kind of wish I did, but not dedicated enough to keep pushing myself once I start to hurt!!

Star, sorry to hear your news.

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 22/04/2018 18:33

Just checking in...

LimpLettice · 22/04/2018 20:17

Starwishing I'm sorry you got such shitty news, 35 is no age.

S1lver I'll keep everything crossed. So much crossing on this blooming thread, and too many still here.

I saw an old friend at my hen yesterday. 37, been trying for I think more than 5 years. Husband was dead against ivf for religious reasons but finally agreed to try it and she's now 6 months and just found out it's a boy. 5 years! But it gave me hope for yammers everywhere 😊

FairyAnn · 22/04/2018 20:17

Sorry to hear your news star

It's so unfair that so many of us wait to ttc so we can feel like we're at the best position financially, or until we meet the right person, and then biology fucks us over.

I'm 36 this year and I'm panicking that it's going to be too late soon

Original poster
SparkwoodAnd21 · 22/04/2018 20:21

Really sorry to hear your news Star. Flowers

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 22/04/2018 20:27

@star 35 is no age! Can you get a second opinion? Isn’t there anything they can do for early onset menopause?

starwishing · 22/04/2018 21:08

@MynameisJune my best friend said this afternoon that it's not complete menopause because I still have periods all be them late and super heavy. I was meant to get FP today but as of yet nothing. I got a bit of pinky stuff when checking my CP this morning but that's it.

She said my hormone tests mean I have high FSH and probably don't ovulate at all which is what the tests picked up. I'm gutted. I don't know what to say to people because constantly I'm being asked why I've chosen to only have one child and why I'm not trying for another. Even my DS wants a sister and I've told him he can't have one so he got upset and asked if it was because he was naughty.

MynameisJune · 22/04/2018 21:39

@star having high FSH isn’t great, but I’m sure there are options. Especially if the only issue is you don’t ovulate. Did they give you an appointment so you can discuss next steps?

ShesAYamEater · 22/04/2018 22:16

Star my oh is against adoption and egg donation too though I'm 10 year's Oder.
Often fertility peaks during menopause. Hang on I there
I'm 46 I dont have much hope either .
I'm just gonna keep going. It's all we can do.

starwishing · 22/04/2018 22:33

@MynameisJune they cannot help me anymore now I'm showing menopause. I guess I could go private but don't know where we would get the money from. We can afford most things but private fertility treatment is going to be expensive and I guess won't work.

starwishing · 22/04/2018 22:36

@MynameisJune according to my u/s I do ovulate and my opk stays regular each cycle. Plus I have semi regular cycles. I get heavy FP but I thought that might have been the endometriosis being a pain.

I'm having a night of no hope. Doing the ironing so we all have clothes for school/work. I can't really sulk in front of a group of yr8's tomorrow in crumpled clothes

Paranormalbouquet · 23/04/2018 06:59

@starwishing 35 is very young, I know that news must be devastating. You are not menopausal if having periods, I’m assuming your FSH is high which discounts you from further NHS investigations?

You’ve had a huge shock. I think you and DH should give yourselves some time to process the info before making any decisions.

starwishing · 23/04/2018 08:04

@Paranormalbouquet well I'm definitely still getting my FP because my body has a cruel sense of timing and I'm doubled over in pain this morning. I know a 26 day cycle is short so I guess that's a bad sign too 😔. My DH has said there must have been something I've done and maybe I should try losing some weight and see if that helps (he's been on dr google).

I think I've given up. At least I can get early nights now and not have to worry about staying up late for sex!

catherine1988 · 23/04/2018 08:42

@starwishing you could go for a private consultantation and see what they say. If this was something you wanted. The consultations are not too expensive.

LexieJean · 23/04/2018 08:56

@star sorry to hear your news, I hope you take a few days to process and think about your options.

@si1ver good luck with first injections- so exciting and scary!

Chooklass · 23/04/2018 09:06

@starwishing 35 is young (I'm 36!) and 26 day cycle is well within the normal range. I'm no expert, but think if you are getting FP regularly then you still definitely have a chance.

If I'm reading your last message correctly it sounds like your DP suggested you must have done something wrong to cause this? Apologies if I misread that, but if I haven't - that's not on! I'm sure being a healthy weight and eating healthily benefits everyone, but going through early menopause must be a genetic issue? This is not your fault! I wish I could help in some way - I can't imagine how distressing your diagnosis must be.

starwishing · 23/04/2018 09:18

@Chooklass he's partially right. I had some problems with eating disorders when young and he's seen that causes early menopause. I'd had my DS since though so thought I'd got away with it. I didn't realise menopause might be genetic. My mum is 63 and hasn't started it yet and she had my youngest sister at 48 naturally (by accident). Actually everyone in my family seems to have babies easily and into quite an old age. My auntie is 49 and pregnant (50 by the time they're born).

The reason he says to lose weight is because google said so. It says I have a lack of progesterone too that he has said means I should lose weight?! I am heavier than when I had my son but I was also bulimic then too so that doesn't count.

I've taken the tact of ignoring it. I'm going to just try again and eat super healthy and exercise more.

Miserablemouse · 23/04/2018 11:41

Catching up after the weekend and Sooz I'm so happy for you! All the fingers and toes crossed.

Star I'm sorry you've had bad news. It must be so hard to process. As your friend said though if you're still getting regular positive OPKs and periods hopefully you are still ovulating and there's a chance. Will be thinking of you.

Had a GP appointment this morning that went a little like "well.... it's been 13 months so I could refer you to the fertility clinic, but I think it would make you more stressed so just relax and come back in 3-6 months"
Yeah, really easy to relax when BFPs haven't been forthcoming and then getting pregnant isn't even the end game because you've got a genetic condition that means 50% of your eggs are duff. Cheers Doc Hmm.

Pinkemi · 23/04/2018 11:52

Congrats to the BFP that have appeared over the weekend. Very happy for you! :)

@Bubblegum89 With regards to sex drive going.. Yes.. I had this last month. I let TTC take over my life so much that I just didnt want to do it. . It became too much of a chore (which sounds awful.) Thats why this month, we are just DTD when we feel like it to try and get romance back into the relationship.

@Starwishing.. Sorry to hear your news!

So my month of not stressing about TTC seems to be going okay... ish. I feels nice to not have to worry about what day I am on (although I find myself trying to work it out sometimes) and not having to take my temp in the morning is nice (although I should go to bed earlier.)

Had friends over sat and had a few drinks. Stressed about it a little bit.. then thought what the hell. 3 drinks is not going to make that much of a difference.. ive had months of not drinking and no sign of a bfp.. so...

the main thing i need to work on is my weight! I cant seem to get my head in to gear.. I have 3 stone to lose if I ever want to have help from the NHS..

We had some private fertility tests done in Jan.. and they basically said if i wasnt pregnant by 6 months time.. then I MUST NOT delay and have IVF straight away. I dunno if they are just saying that because they are a private clinic and want the money. :-/ But July will be our cut off point.. its getting very close now. :(

Owlpatrol · 23/04/2018 13:14

Argh I'm sorry everyone's having a rotten time today and things aren't looking up yet. I haven't got a moment to breathe today let along thinking about af coming this week. Let's face it, it's inevitable it'll come I'm just so angry at the world at the moment. No pregnancy, hating work, can't get ivf I'm literally thinking of jacking everything in and going on a round the world trip or something (yeah right if I could afford that!) Life just sucks so much and whilst having a baby wouldn't solve everything it would at least give me something to live for. Meh!

MichaelKnightsCar · 23/04/2018 14:14

I'm sorry everyone is having a shit time right now.
@starwishing I can't imagine how you're feeling, I'm so sorry Sad

I feel like my life is bottle necked and stacking up behind our TTC.
We want to move house and move somewhere more rural but we don't want to invade we have to use some of our savings for IVF.
We want to move to a different part of the country but don't want to because of the above but also if we start down fertility treatment then we need the consistency of being at the same place.
I want to change jobs (to move counties!) but don't want to risk losing the maternity benefits in my current place.
I've been diagnosed with a medical condition that has no cure but has treatment but can't start treatment if TTC

My whole fucking life is stacking up behind my inability to conceive.
Maybe it's the universe telling me to stop bothering and move on

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