TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies

[Daffodil77]

Here you go

In my (limited) experience of this but also in general , guys are much more open with each other, so the chances are there's less bottling up then you'd imagine. I don't talk about it with the enemy, but with my friends I'm quite open, even more so with the ones that have been through it. In fact when it happened, a few of my friends revealed it had happened to them previously.

Edit: 'The enemy' is the pet name for my girlfriend, I was raised on Only Fools and Horses.

@Boboelephant cd12, 2/3/4 opks a day! Haha, sometimes I'm out the house too much, so I only do a couple of times, the bottom two were 7am and 10am today. I'm expecting to get a peak tomorrow morning,
And then hopefully O on Monday. If this happens, then my cycle is pretty back to Normal.
@MatchesMalone my other half talks to a lot of his boys at work, and often comes home and says another ones come out the woodwork about a miscarriage. I think it's easier for him to be strong and amazing for me if he has his outlet at work. Gotta love you boys. He's the tonic to my gin and my rock in a hard place. 😍 sounds like you're the same to your wife.

So @Cakelaur do you think that bottom one is positive? I don't have the CBFM so just going off opks. I reckon mine was about that dark last month and I took it as a positive. The doc doing the blood testing is making me wonder if maybe I've been wrong and I'm actually not ovulating. Do you expect yours to get darker tomorrow? Sorry for all the questions!! I also just bought a thermometer so you have another bbt convert!

I actually just found the pic I took last month of my opks. What do people think? I took the 7th one down as the pos as that was night and it stayed quite dark the next morning (8) and then went paler and then disappeared. Would you guys have counted these as positive?

@Pumpkinpatch thank you! Got another faint line today on a clearblue, not any darker yet and AF due tomorrow - worried it will turn out to be a chemical but luckily I’m going on holiday tomorrow which is helping keep my mind off things

@Cakelaur I did think you'd kept that a bit quiet if they were all pregnancy tests!
@ApplesTheHare I have a couple of friends who are due within a couple of weeks of when I would have been. And also a good friend who had her baby a few days after I lost mine. I've found that keeping in touch with them via whats app has worked for me so far- no pressure of a face to face meet up, and conversation is so much easier via text. Obviously I can't do that forever, but I felt like if I'd avoided them altogether then it would have built up more in my head if you know what I mean? I can also choose my words more mindfully when I'm texting, so when they've asked about mc stuff it's easier.

Has anyone ever had a blood test taken from the vein by their wrist bone before? midwife at EPU did mine there on Wednesday and my wrist has bruised like a peach! She did one attempt, no wiggling the needle or anything and I've never seen anything like it (pics attached). Just an update from me though - bfn on cheapie hpt this morning so I'm starting on opks! Exciting times ahead hopefully!

Welcome to the new folks joining us and it's great to know we have men using this as well - welcome @MatchesMalone and any other men lurking! I'm sorry you've had to go through miscarriages but you'll not find a more supportive group!

@Cakelaur I'd agree that's a positive opk so fingers crossed all went well during your shagathon (bit crude but couldn't resist lol).

Holy crap @HidCat that's crazy bruising! Thrilled to hear you got your bfn finally and can now crack on!! 👍

@ApplesTheHare 7 weeks today. I haven't been back to the GP since it happened but will probably ring the EPU for some advice over the next week or so,

@Boboelephant @Llondbol it's really hard. I do genuinely feel happy for people but it does pang my heart a bit. Since our miscarriage there's been two more babies born into the family and my best friend has also had a baby so feel surrounded at the moment.

@Boboelephant i take it as a positive. It's likely to get slightly darker. But sometimes I miss it and it's the tail end of it. But that's where the bbt helps. And CBFM isn't necessary I just like that there's no guessing with it. I'd take yours as positive, are you dipping them for 10 seconds? I used to dip for like 3 seconds and the lines were fainter. Now I dip for at least 10 which gives me a darker line so it's easier to tell. Your peak of the surge could have been over night. Do you check cm and have any other symptoms of O?
@HidCat haha, the marathon will continue for another week. Because I'll probably get peak peak high on CBFM from tomorrow and then I expect O on Monday or Tuesday and then we'll do a couple of days for luck! Then I can finally rest! Haha! Your wrist looks really painful!!
@Sloeberrygin I'd defo be more excited if they were hpts! 🙈

@boboelephant started spotting today. Feel relieved...like to get going with the next cycle once I know it’s a BFN. GL 🤞I had my second session of acupuncture on Thursday, finding it very relaxing. Fingers and toes crossed it’ll work for us!

Welcome @matchesmalone nice to hear a mans side! My DH has definitely tried to be strong for me, he lets me blubber whilst he keeps it together. I think he maybe talks about it to other people, but it’s nice to hear you say you guys do, as I hope he has an outlet as well! All the very best for you guys!

@hayleyfx hope that line gets darker for you!! It’s great timing to get away on holiday. Hope you enjoy and relax!

@Claire it’s great that you’re staying positive about things!

I’m thinking now that it’s safe to say I’m probably pregnant. I’ve had 4 faint positives now and they all have colour - however I’m sure that something is wrong, that my HCG levels are too low or not increasing... so scared of having a chemical. Luckily I found another pink dye test (type of test I used first 3 days ago) so I can compare them tomorrow! I’m terrified to take it 😣 Keeping everything crossed for a sticky bean 🤞🏼
Wow I really need this holiday tomorrow lol, get me to Tenerife now 🤣

@Claire thank you! Didn’t see your message before I posted. Can’t wait to get away, need this break lol! Keeping everything crossed

Hi haylyfx how many days passed ovulation are you???

@Kingy I’m 13dpo today! In my last pregnancy my tests were super dark at this point

Aaawwww at least it's starting to show with my previous pregnancies digital tests didn't show properly til 5 weeks with this one showed early so don't give up hope each pregnancy is different. This time I've got boobs and fatter straight away the other I would never have known I was pregnant (except for tests) til I was 6 months had absolutely no signs no bump nothing!!!. Go try n enjoy your holiday and see when you come home (I know easier said than done) I did another test today to check the weeks had increased 🙄

@Kingy thank you, you’ve definitely made me feel a bit better! I’m just so scared of something going wrong but I know I just need to relax 🤦🏻‍♀️ I will try my hardest to enjoy my holiday as much as I can, still can’t stop thinking about it though lol! 🙄

@Boboelephant that's my fully positive one now. Ain't no mistaking it. But only cos I'm still poas at midnight! 🙈

Soooo.. Sister in Law has just given us news that she's expecting in September. The day we had our second MC to be exact. I feel bummed out :( Happy for them, obviously, but hurting, eurgh!

Third pregnancy announcement of the weekend on Facebook this morning! I can't help but think I would be 12 weeks this week and sharing the news too 😩. Af has stopped now so time to get bedding for the next 1.5-2 weeks! 🤞🌈

@clairehr @beck aww it’s a rubbish feeling isn’t it, I feel the same way, I always feel guilty for feeling that way but you just can’t help it
I really though I was getting my rainbow baby finally but I did another test today and the faint line is not getting any darker. 90% sure this is going to be a chemical. So glad I have the holiday to keep my mind off it

@clairehr I'm so sorry. Exciting news on the one hand but so hard on the other. I hope you're ok?

@Beck1988 hopefully you'll be joining them soon. It makes things so much worse when they cluster doesn't it? I got a handful just after my miscarriage so I know the feeling.

Just read an interesting article from the US about how different types of caffeine affect fertility. It's a few years old now but still actively promoted on the website. They basically said that when trying to conceive avoid fizzy drinks, have up to three coffees a day and this should be fine or up to two cups of tea is actually beneficial. It's quite an interesting site - www.fertilityauthority.com/blog/marta-montenegro/2015/1/08/coffee-tea-and-fertility

@PumpkinPatch000 - 7 weeks and no AF? Hmm was this after a MC? That happened to me in January and turned out I was pregnant...

@Boboelephant haha! I'm not POAS until June or July (it's going to be a long few months) but I find the whole POAS Friday so funny so I will support you crazy ladies - if that's what you guys need to do- do it!

@MatchesMalone welcome to the group- I think it's amazing and sweet that you're on here - my OH would never do this! So it's great to have a guy on the board - Its good your BF is there for you and you can talk about it with him. I don't think my OH has talked about it with anyone and I just wish he would, it's important to cry and deal with these emotions... please keep us posted with the pregnancy! Congratulations and good luck with it!

@Sloeberrygin I can imagine how hard it is to "bounce back" but I don't know if we will ever bounce back to where we before. These things change us and I think in time we will just slowly adjust to a new normal - there's so much pressure somehow to just continue and be "strong" and move on, but I think we just need to be kind to ourselves, and honour what we've been through. We know what we have each suffered. We are stronger than we probably ever thought we were, and we just need to have faith that everything will be ok next time...

@ApplesTheHare - 43 days?! How frustrating- I'm sorry/ these things are bad enough without them dragging on like this. I hope things resolve soon!
I know it's hard to see / hear about pregnant friends/family -2 of my best friends announced their pregnancies soon after my last MCs, and both their babies have due dates in the same week as my MCs (one in July and one in October) so I know I will always have a reminder of what could have been...but somehow I got roped into organising their baby showers. FML! I thought it would be harder than it is actually- but I'm finding myself really caring about these little beans- and organising baby showers that somehow honour my lost little angels... both my friends knew about the MCs but I told them that I didn't want them to feel bad or guilty around me and that I'd still be there for them...Am I weird?

@Cakelaur haha! Well done for keeping on with the marathon - I might have to subject my OH to this when the time comes- he thinks it's how he wants real life to be everyday! Haha but I am sure he will be the one begging to stop

I'm still spotting and have cramps since the ERPC on Wednesday and generally not feeling physically great! I don't remember feeling this bad last time I had it done in December... I just want this to be over now- I found out I MMC on March 2nd- so basically it's been a whole month of Miscarriage March for me.
I have moments when I think I'm ok and then I will just start randomly crying - just want it to be over. I want AF to turn up and my cycles to regulate.
We've decided to have 3 normal periods before even attempting TTC- so I have to be patient now and just try and see sex and sexy time! Like it used to be...
I even pushed my appointments with the specialists back until May just to give my body and mind a rest from this whole thing and try and find some normalcy...

Beck1988 and clairehr I feel your pain with the announcements. I never realised how many people announced in March before this year.

zarala I hope you start to feel better soon. You are so lovely for organising showers for your friends. Hopefully the few months 'off' will help you relax and just enjoy beigng for a bit.