TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies

[Daffodil77]

Here you go

@cakelaur are they all from today??? Are the opks or pregnancy tests???

The hospital was torture, we had the scan then had to sit and wait for the box test results already knowing three was no baby. Loads of other couples can and went home after all being told there was nothing to worry about while we had to sit there.

That was the Friday, we both went back to work Monday and had to go back 2 weeks after for scans. When we got back I found a candle and we lit it so she could feel something tangible, which helped. I said we'd mark September by doing something. I've now decided to buy a Jizo statue.

We had a cry together, but for me it was when I saw my best friend of 20+ years and his parents that I got emotional. Partly cause I didn't want to in front of her.

In life there's not much I can't reason or fight my way out out being a man. But sitting in the room having the scan and being told the sac was empty was a moment of complete uselessness.

I'd imagine for all men who go through it, it's pretty similar.

If as a man I'm not meant to be in here, feel free to delete this post

This breaks my heart. Of course you're more than welcome to join us! I really hope this new pregnancy works out for you both

@Matchesmalone welcome and congrats on the BFP! I hope everything goes well and smoothly. One of the worst things was seeing my SO face when we found out I was losing the baby, I could just see it in his face that his heart broke. He has never cried in front of me but he bawled then. It’s always interesting to see it from the man’s point of view, all the focus is on the woman, my SO has always said that he can’t be upset he needs to be strong for me - but men need to cry and let their emotions out too! It’s only human.

@TheDinosaurRoars thank you that makes me feel a little better - guess after the MC and suspected chemical I’m convinced something will go wrong 😣 There doesn’t seem to be any difference to the boots tests - it says the sensitivity is 15miU/ml so I’m confused why it doesn’t have a noticeable line at all 🤔 the CB might be a tiny bit more noticeable? Not sure, I’ll post a couple pics of how they’re looking now
Thank you all for keeping me slightly sane during this 🤣

@zarala my little girl is coming up 16 months. Yes I wasn’t ready to start trying until late 2014, as I had plans to be married for a year and enjoy just us first. It took a while to get our little lady, totally worth it when she arrived.
Thank you. Yes I’m going to ring up on Monday to get an appointment. Hopefully I get a understanding one

@MatchesMalone welcome and congratulations, I hope your OH has a smooth and stress free pregnancy.
One of my proudest moments was my hubby standing up and telling all his man friends exactly what was happening when I had my MMC, it was our second loss. All his man friends were like 🤷🏼‍♂️ Try again, what’s the issue. He was in the pub and started telling them all the details- that I was in pain, I was unable to be left for 48 hours due to a risk of bleeding out and that I passed my baby in the shower and continued to bleed for 2 weeks. Their mouths touched the table. I was so proud with him for educating them

@zarala thank you. It was absolutely devastating for me. Having to deliver my little boy was really hard, and knowing there was no chance he could survive was just awful. He was just too small. I have a son already so I know I'm lucky, but I'm finding it really hard to bounce back from this. All the physical/hormonal stuff like milk coming in did seem to make it so much harder. I have to say I am also guilty of boob squeezing to check whether I still have milk
@MatchesMalone congratulations! I hope everything works out for you this time.
@Cakelaur wow! Are they all pregnancy tests? I also have a slight addiction to internet cheapies, I mean when they cost £4 for 30 tests it seems like I shouldn't deny myself right?!
@Hayleyfx definitely a faint line there. I hope it gets darker for you.

MatchesMalone congratulations, I hope it goes really well for you both this time.

I'm at my wits end waiting for AF. I'm on day 43 of this cycle and tested last week only to get 3 icey white bfns. Not even the hint of a line despite tingling nipples, tiredness, small amounts of milk from boob squeezing (I need to stop, I know), headaches and cramps/backache. Just so fed up, especially with seemingly more pregnancy announcements ever day atm I'm hoping the doctor can help this week.

@Claire138 i hope it's good news for you. Unfortunately I had that too and convinced myself it was a good sign as usually dry before af but it sadly wasn't. I hope it is for you though!
Hahaha @cakelaur. Were they all today??
@MatchesMalone welcome and thanks for sharing. Congratulations to you and I hope all goes well for you both in this pregnancy. It is a feeling of complete helplessness when you find out your baby had died for both partners. But my DH tries to be the strong one too.

Oh @Sloeberrygin that sounds so hard. Sending you hugs.
@ApplesTheHare that sounds so tough. Where are you post MC? Have you had an af yet? Hope your body sorts itself soon!!

Boboelephant my MC was in October but bleeding unfortunately went on until Jan. AF came a few weeks after that (I think!) but nothing since Feb. It's hard to know what's going on because it's been a long time. I'd love to feel positive about ttc by now!

Sloeberrygin I'm so sorry, that sounds so tough delivering your little boy

Thank you @Sloeberrygin I’m keeping everything crossed
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been

Oh @ApplesTheHare that's so difficult. It's hard enough without it dragging on that way.
@Claire138 I forgot to say- cycle day 7 here. Went and had acupuncture again today and hoping that holiday next week will help the fw!!

@Kingy2910 and @Sloeberrygin all opks sadly!! And they're over the course of the week. I lined them all up today for the photo!! Haha! No positives yet!

Day 4 complete. My poor OH!! He is shattered but manned up and played his part!! Haha. This 10/15 day session is gonna be exhausting!! 🙈

Boboelephant is acupuncture good? Is it meant to help with ttc?

Cakelaur well done your DH!

@ApplesTheHare Yea i like it. I find it relaxing and always have a little snooze! I am going to someone who specialises in fertility acupuncture so she places the needles in different places depending on where I am in my cycle. Only second month of trying it so hopefully it works!
Well done @cakelaur and Mr Cake! 💪💪

@Boboelephant i've had acupuncture before and wasn't too keen on it but now i'm thinking maybe I should give it a try the one specifically fertility as I seem to be having trouble ovulating post MC hmmmm.. might look into it a bit more.

good luck @Hayleyfx i can see a faint line there too. I hope it gets darker for you.

PumpkinPatch000 how far post-mc are you? Have you seen the GP?

Does anyone have any ideas for supporting pregnant people without having to see or speak to them? I mentioned struggling with my SIL's announcement last week and now it's sunk in I'm trying to get my head round the next few months. Obviously I don't want to cause a rift but my instinct is to avoid her for the next 18 months

We're practically positive!! The 10day session might not need to be as long!! Hahaha!

A friend of mine struggled for two years to get pregnant and she did acupuncture and swears by it. She's now having her baby on Wednesday.

Hi @MatchesMalone - think it's brilliant that you posted on here, and so honest and open.

My OH was amazing when we miscarried - I cried every day for 3 weeks while we were waiting to find out what was a happening and making multiple trips to EPU, and he was incredible every step of the way. He doesn't talk about it anywhere near as much as I do, and I think he definitely keeps it all locked away. I'm such an emotional person as it is, maybe it would be easier to be like my OH 😕

2dpo and it's another pregnancy announcement on Facebook this morning 😭

@PumpkinPatch000 it might be worth a go! I have only had 3 sessions but I do think my last cycle seemed more regular.
@ApplesTheHare sounds a tough situation. Only you will know what you are capable of and where your limits are. My personal opinion is that in order to be kind and support others first we have to be kind to and support ourselves. I'm going to therapy and have found that combined with this thread are slightly improving my insane jealousy of other pregnant women!!

Sorry @Llondbol. 😟 I'm seeing my friend tonight who is due 4 days before what I would have been and I really just want to be happy for her. But i know it's going to sting.
Hahaha @cakelaur. No backing out now!!! 🤣🤣

@Cakelaur how many times are you doing opks and what cycle day are you?