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TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies

995 replies

Daffodil77 · 21/03/2018 07:06

Here you go

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strawberrye · 22/03/2018 13:05

@hayleyfx I totally understand about clinging on to hope. If your AF isn't due for a few days yet why not wait until she is due to test again? Seeing as hCG is meant to double every 48-72 hours by then you should have an much better idea. I know it's really hard, some people find it easier to test more frequently but I know I just find the disappointment of BFNs when testing early worse than the waiting! Definitely a personal choice x

Primrose16 · 22/03/2018 13:26

@zarala nope not under a specialist. I had 1 mc and a mmc before my daughter. Then these 2 mc this year. I doubt they will see me with having a break in mc by carrying my daughter to full term. But I will be going to the GP to get a sick note so I might ask. But I’m not sure if I can do it again. I’m thinking my girl is a little miracle 💕

Boboelephant · 22/03/2018 14:15

@strawberrye sorry af got you. Here's to Christmas babies and cake!!
@Primrose16 I think they will definitely see you. There are other ladies on here who have had a DC in between and under RMC. I'm not under RMC as I had a EP and a MMC but I asked the doc to refer me to a specialist and they are doing the same tests to check for any issues even though I have DS. For me I just want all the information. Maybe you just need a break too. Be kind to yourself x

NoCatsHere · 22/03/2018 14:32

primrose I’m just so sorry to read this. I’m so glad you have your daughter for cuddles later. Please do get some rest. Hugs to you.

hayley sorry you’re having confusing lines. I would definitely not test again for 2 days if you can bear it. The closer you get to you being late with af then the better your line will be.

TheDinosaurRoars · 22/03/2018 14:42

@ApplesTheHare I’m sorry for your loss but welcome here.

@hayleyfx I’m going against the grain here but I’ve known really early BFPs only show once the test has dried out. So I am still staying hopeful for you.

@zarala I know several women who have breastfed all through pregnancy and continued feeding their toddlers and babies.

@Primrose16 thinking of you. I was under the RMC despite having two DC in between. My GP referred me.

Hope everyone else is doing ok today. This thread moves so quickly, I sometimes struggle to keep up with you all.

hayleyfx · 22/03/2018 14:54

@strawberrye @NoCatsHere I’m going to try my hardest to wait, hopefully I can lol!
@TheDinosaurRoars thank you! I’m keeping everything crossed, used to seeing stark white negatives that stay negative so this FRER really confused me lol! FX Smile

hayleyfx · 22/03/2018 17:01

The FRER keeps getting darker as the day goes on, if this is an evap it’s so cruel! 🙄😂 it’s a very convincing one if it is. Gonna go buy some more FRER now, the amount of money I spend on hpts is ridiculous Blush
FX for a BFP tomorrow! (Still not feeling hopeful though 😩)

TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies
TheDinosaurRoars · 22/03/2018 17:15

Everything crossed for you @hayleyfx

hayleyfx · 22/03/2018 17:28

@TheDinosaurRoars thank you so much, I guess I’ll find out in the next day or two! 🤞🏼

TheDinosaurRoars · 22/03/2018 18:01

Just found out one of my neighbours has recently had another child which means her baby was born around about the time that mine died. DD2 will probably go to school with her older child and it will be a constant reminder. It’s really upset me even though I have so far been fine with other birth announcements. Not sure why this one stings so much.

ApplesTheHare · 22/03/2018 18:16

TheDinosaurRoars some announcements are definitely worse than others. I think it depends on how much it reminds you of your own situation and how you find out.

Everything crossed for you hayleyfx

BabynameEdie · 22/03/2018 18:18

Hello all, so much to catch up on!
Have just started spotting, think it's the beginning of af 😢 so sad, annoyed, fed up. Guess it's good to start a 'normal' cycle again after the mc but I just was so hoping it would all be good news this month. I so desperately want to be a mum and feel so ready for it.

@hayleyfx yikes so confusing for you! Patience is the hardest thing with this game but there's just nothing you can do except wait it out and keep testing... am sending you baby bean vibes 🤰

TheDinosaurRoars · 22/03/2018 19:34

Thinking of you @BabynameEdie

I thought I would be starting AF as I have so many cramps but still nothing. I wondered whether the medication the hospital gave me to stop my milk coming in would make my cycles return quicker but maybe not. Part of me thinks it is probably good for my cycle to take a while longer so I can get the post mortem results first of all but the other part of me is so desperate to have another baby to hold in my arms I don’t want to wait.

zarala · 22/03/2018 19:53

@Primrose16 it is so hard to think about trying again- I am also starting to think My little girl is a miracle- but I've decided to bite the bullet and get some tests done - my GP agreed to refer me to RMC. So I'm waiting not for AF to appear so I can go get my blood tests and stuff and see if we can find out why this keeps happening!
I'm 36 next month so really feeling the pressure

@hayleyfx - I totally agree with @strawberrye , if you can wait it out a couple more days you'll get a definitive answer. I much prefer waiting than just being disappointed and wasting so many tests! But that's just me (i'm hella stingy)

Sorry to everyone who's AF has shown up uninvited
And @TheDinosaurRoars Sorry about the baby announcement. Sometimes the sadness comes out of the most unexpected places...

Sloeberrygin · 22/03/2018 20:03

New thread! And wow, so much to catch up on. Hello to new people joining the thread, I've found it lovely and supportive.

@Claire138 sorry for the BFN. Here's hoping your next cycle is the one.
@Lovemysparkle rant away, it sounds like you've had a really tough time. The support after mc does really seem to vary. And I totally get you that it makes you a different person. It sometimes feels impossible that the world continues as it was, work is just work, everything the same as it was before, except it feels totally different now.
@hidcat how frustrating for you, it's such a long time for you to have to wait.
@Primrose16 so sorry, have a hug Flowers
@zarala I'm interested in people's experiences of breastfeeding too. I stopped feeding my little boy a couple of weeks before I miscarried. He was only having a couple of feeds a day so my boobs didn't noticeably have milk, but after my mc my milk came in loads (2nd trimester loss so they said my milk would likely come in) and I was quite engorged and uncomfy for a few days. My mc was only 6 weeks ago so I still have milk, I'm not sure how long it'll last. I'm sure that bf during pregnancy is not linked to the mc, I'd been seeing a consultant while I was still pregnant but things weren't looking great, and she said there was no reason to stop bf.
@hayleyfx how frustrating, I hope you get some stronger lines over the next few days.
@daffodil77 have a hug, it's just so crap.
@TheDinosaurRoars the things that get you are so unpredictable, sending you positive thoughts.
@BabynameEdie sorry AF is on its way. Fingers crossed for the next cycle.

hayleyfx · 22/03/2018 20:11

@ApplesTheHare @BabynameEdie @zarala thank you girls! I’m going to try my hardest to wait to test, I have a few tests stocked up so it’s very hard to resist but I’m so scared of seeing a BFN 🤦🏻‍♀️ You definitely need patience when TTC and that is something I seriously lack haha!

Primrose16 · 22/03/2018 20:51

@zarala I’m 35 next month so feeling the same. I’m annoyed that we didn’t start younger, but I suppose then we wouldn’t have our girl.
My daughter is amazing and if she is all I can have then I’m incredibly lucky. It’s the not knowing what’s happening to me that I struggle to cope with. That’s good that you getting referred to RMC I’m going to try and see the gp next week

Beck1988 · 22/03/2018 21:42

www.lovewhatmatters.com/to-the-girl-who-hated-my-pregnancy-announcement/

Have a read if you have time 💙💗

HidCat · 22/03/2018 21:52

Lived that @Beck1988

HidCat · 22/03/2018 21:52

*loved

dulwichdays · 22/03/2018 21:57

@hayleyfx Fingers crossed for you whenever you test.

I’m 34 as well and still TTC #1. I think I’m about 8/9dpo, although I’m not tracking definite OV, just EWCM.

Weirdly not feeling pregnant and not stressed by it, which is a stark contrast to last month when I had loads of symptoms and I was convinced I was. I should expect AF anywhere for next Mon-Fri depending on whether I count by pre-MC or post MC cycle. So I’ve told myself I’ll test if I get to next Sunday if I don’t get any sign of AF...fingers crossed I can hold off until then.

hayleyfx · 22/03/2018 22:11

@dulwichdays thank you! Fingers crossed for you too when you decide to test, hopefully there are more BFP’s this month Smile

zarala · 22/03/2018 23:11

@Sloeberrygin yeah the breastfeeding this is interesting- because as @Eastend2015 and @Boboelephant said- lots of women feed through pregnancy and go on to tandem feed. But my mum kept telling me I shouldn't continueA that's its too taxing on my body. Maybe she was right? Maybe I'm just not "big" enough for that! Haha - I am really petite - but maybe it's totally unrelated. Especially if your consultant didn't seem to think it was an issue- then...well who knows
I know I've said this before to you but I am really sorry about your second trimester loss- it just breaks my heart to think about it. Especially with the milk coming in...
I think I just need to stop squeezing my boobs to check! As I'm sure that's not helping it stop! (Lol)

@Primrose16 yes I feel the same about my daughter. How old is yours? Mine is 17months on the 25th. If I didn't have her I don't know how I'd have survived these past few months.
I also often chide myself and think why didn't I start younger? But I was no way ready! And I definitely wouldn't have been so patient and available as I am now. I was very narcissistic and into myself and my life before - I was no way ready for the family life pace. I also think at this age I really cherish every moment with my baby- whereas when I was younger I don't think i was as present in the moment- I always had to be on the move- on to the next thing. I think a baby would have stifled me and my energy. So I think - like you- if I am only supposed to have one, then so be it - she is amazing and my world and I feel so blessed.

@hayleyfx haha! You do whatever you gotta do girl! I mean tomorrow is POAS FRIDAY? Right girls?! Lol

zarala · 22/03/2018 23:17

@Primrose16 also good luck with your GP
I actually managed to convince mine to get me blood tests after 2 MCs, this latest pregnancy was not supposed to happen.
I basically told her that I am 35 and that my mum went through early menopause (she didn't but I just basically said that I have anxiety and stress and borderline depression and she needs to help me) so she gave me the blood forms.
The tests on the nhs are not as complete as going to a specialist but they are a start.
The nhs don't test AMH- which tests your ovarian reserve - which is an important thing to know at our age! But they will test your hormones and whatnot
Usually they test the hormones on day 1-4 of period and then progesterone levels on day 21 ( a week or so before period due)
I am now waiting for AF to come after this latest MC so I can get these tests done
Keep me posted on your appointment and hope your gp is as helpful as mine was! Xx

PumpkinPatch000 · 23/03/2018 07:17

Thinking of you @hayleyfx hoping you get some positive news when you next test.

@zarala POAS Friday love it! Now I’m tempted to test lol AF still hasn’t turned up after 7 weeks Confused I have no tests in though boo!

Good luck @primrose16 I hope your GP agrees to the tests if that’s what you want to do.

x