TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies

[Daffodil77]

Here you go

@laney79 hi........I had a mmc early Feb. I opted to let nature take its course but was also booked in for a d&c a week later just in case. I was spotting for two weeks before confirmed mmc. Once I started bleeding properly on the Monday I passed it naturally with no pain on the Tuesday night and the sack on the Wednesday morning. All bleeding was gone by the Saturday but as I wasn't booked in until the following week I felt I had to stay at home as I wasn't sure if I'd passed it or not. On the Wednesday I was due to have my bloods taken ready for the procedure on Friday but as I explained to the nurse they scanned me and saw I had passed it all. It now been nearly 8 weeks and am.pleased to say I am currently pregnant again. I think about 5 weeks but won't be sure until I have a scan. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. I hope you get through this tough time hunni and we are all here to share thoughts and feelings xxx

Ladies quick advice needed!
Been doing pee sticks and temps this month....
Pee on stick last night and was quite good line, but we ended up just too tired to dtd... so pee'd on stick tonight and line much fainter and my temp has dropped (granted evening measurement) by 0.5.
Do you think we've missed ovulation?!? Arrhhhh!!!!

@weasledee your temperature can fluctuate sooo easily during the day, so that reading tonight could be totally skewed. You won’t know if you have ovulated until the day after ovulation as you will see on your chart an increase in temperature. So if you think your temperature has dropped today get BDing tonight as you may be ovulating today and then if tomorrow morning you see a temperature shift higher than the last 6 days for the next 3 days it’s a pretty good sign you ovulated today. Sorry, does any of that make sense? @cakelaur is pretty good at explaining it. Also the opk test positive 24-36 hours before ovulation so once you get a positive opk you won’t be ovulating right then...it will be in the next day or 2. Hope that makes sense. GL!

@laney79 so sorry you find yourself here. Hope you are getting plenty of support! I had a mmc in December and opted for ERPC. I had light bleeding for about 8 days after but other than that, I physically recovered quickly...mentally and emotionally a bit longer. I totally appreciate why you want to wait and let nature take its course but if you have any questions on surgical route I’m more than happy to help.

Sorry @wealsedee after positive opk apparently it’s in the next 12-36 hours, so I would just get BDing tonight and hopefully you will catch! 🤞 BBT I find can be difficult as temp fluctuates so quickly. I tested it one morning and got 36.9 and then literally 10mins later tested again and it was 36.5...so you should only use the temp you get first thing at the same time every morning and stick with it, any other temperature recordings you take after that can be affected by the smallest thing. Sometimes I wonder if all this monitoring is actually beneficial as I get stressed trying to track it all, but I can’t help myself!

Thanks for that Claire!

@Laney79 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I can't really help either as I went the ERPC route too. We got all the info and doc explained that one as highest success rate with no complications or further treatment. She said the risk of damage was so tiny and less again if you have it awake which I did. Mine was painful as no part had started to detatch- for me proving it would not have happened naturally! Worked for me as I returned to normal cycles immediately. But I don't have a medical phobia so easy for me to say. I think everyone responds differently and you just have to do what you can manage. I hope that it passes quickly and you don't end up needing medical intervention and can start ttc quickly.
@weasledee- @claire138 has summed it up beautifully! The bbt only confirms ov, it doesn't predict it. But temp goes up not down so the down could be before ov. Although you can't trust the evening measurement!
The opk- once you get a line darker than test line, thrn you will ov in the next 12-36 hours. That's why SMEP says to dtd for the 3 days once you get the positive line. Swimmers also live for 24 hours after egg release so just get busy as much as possible today!!

Thanks all. Really appreciate the support and advice from people who have sadly been there xxx

It's so hard. I never realised just how much I wanted to be a mom until my positive test (we decided now or never/leave it to fate and come off the pill see what happens-that was end of sept, positive hpt mid Feb) and to have it taken away after that pure joy and excitement has been devastating.

I feel guilty for saying this but I really just want my body to let go now. My bean is gone and nothing I can do will change that.

@ek78 I'm so sorry for what you are going through-it's just awful, and so bloody unfair. If you don't mind-and sorry for TMI -I've been having brown/black discharge when I wipe for over a week, only briefly cramps middle of last week until last night when I had period type cramps for about three hours and dark red blood dripping but not a lot (teaspoon?)-but it seems to have stopped overnight and there's nothing in my pad. is that normal? Does that mean the MC will happen soon?

@Primrose16 I'm the same-I read that the change of MMC is 1% so obv I'm really not a very lucky person so all I can think now when I see that complications are rare or that it works for 80% of people is that I'm bound to be in the 20% or be the one that does have complications. World is against me at the mo. with the pills -did you have to have them in hospital? And were they oral ones or pessaries? I find internal checks/messing really traumatic (and even more so now there's no baby as a reward at the end). Did it take long for it to happen?

@Kingy2910 so sorry for your loss but so pleased for you that you have got a positive again so quickly. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. This kind of news helps me see light in what is a very dark deep hole right now. Do let me know how you get on.

Finally (sorry-rambling long post!) I'm trying to look forward and do practical things. I understand I'll need to test once the MC has happened until I get a negative hpt...so I've bought plenty of pink dye cheapies. How quickly do you get a negative? I've also bought some opks but I've never used them before...they are a bunch of Internet cheapies in foil packaging and I got a set of 20 clear blue digital. Any advice for a first time user? When they come up positive do we need to dtd straight away?

Any tips/advice appreciated. I just want to get pregnant again as soon as possible-I want that joy in my life again xxx

Just to update my temp has remained low, from an average 37.2 all week, to 36.9 this morning.....

@Laney79 I like most of the others an ERPC following a MMC found at our 12 week scan. Quite frankly nothing will ever prepare you for this. I was told to test 3 weeks after the procedure by the hospital, but actually tested at 2 and already have a negative test. My first cycle was 33 days and my second is back at 28/29 days, the same as it was pre-MC. Although I’m not pregnant again, I’m trying to see the silver lining that my body is getting back to normal.

I’ve found over the last few weeks that I need to start planning and booking things again. I can’t feel like I’m putting my life on hold in the hope I get pregnant. Nothing would be worse than getting to the date of an event and then not going and also not being pregnant. I’m secretly hoping that I end up cancelling things but I’m happy with that!

I’ve bought the same clear blue digital kit as you - currently it sat in the cupboard for the last cycle. I’m not sure if it’s going to make me even more focused/disappointed if I didn’t get pregnant when I’d used them.....but that’s just me!!

@Laney79 the bleeding you describe is exactly what I had and that was all I had during my miscarriage. Roll on 10weeks and I've just got my BFN and it looks like AF arrived last night, though light so far so not entirely sure. Like you I feel that I just want this over with so we can start over. Being in limbo so long has been very stressful so if your doc will allow you to have medical management or surgical if that's what you want, I would go for it. Hope you're ok.

@Laney79 sorry you find yourself here. I found the clear blue digital tests for opk didn't work too well after the mc. I'm on month 3 now and they are back to normal. But month one was showing peak for a couple of weeks, then never actually gave me a peak when I did ovulate. The second month it gave me a peak just after I ovulated and this month it worked like before. So my advice is take the next couple of month to ttc if you feel ready (we started ASAP but not pregnant again yet) but also learn to read your body.
Emotions will be up and down ALOT over the next couple months along side your hormones righting themselves. All these ladies are an amazing support!

@weasledee 37.2 or 36.9 is a high temp!! Have you got a pic of your chart?

@Primrose16 how are you babe? Hope you're as good as you can be in this situation.

@Laney79 It does sounds like the mc is coming - but sadly there are no guarantees about how long it will take. My last one, the bleeding started steadily straight after the scan that revealed the mmc, and gradually increased until the third day when I had the 'big bleed' where I passed loads of clots and the sac etc... It then slowed down. I bled for 3 weeks in total and had a negative pregnancy test as soon as the bleeding stopped. This time it has been much more of a stop start thing, tiny bit of coloured discharge on Friday (prompting me to get the scan) and then intermittent light bleeding since Sunday. I've noticed that the two times I've done yoga (nothing too strenuous) the bleeding has increased a bit and I am going out for walks everyday, which is as much about trying to deal with the emotion as passing the limbo time and hopefully encouraging things to move along. Like you, I just want to pass this pregnancy now so my body can move on.
I found opks useful but didn't start using them until a few months of ttc after last mc. Once I did, I got pregnant on the third round of using them. I started using the Clue app straight after the last mc which helped me follow the patterns of my body, but like others are saying on here, it can take your cycle a while to normalise so it's harder to track for the first couple of months. This time, I won't be using the opks til I've had a period - but do whatever feels right for you.
Really hoping this passes quickly for both of us.

@Laney79 I'm so sorry you find yourself in this awful position
And don't feel guilty at all- after we discovered my last MMC I spent the whole weekend just meditating telling my body to let it go - I really wanted it to pass naturally. I don't know if it worked but I then started spotting on the monday. What is the point of holding on when we know it's over...

You asked about medical management- at uclh they gave me a pill to swallow on the Monday and on the Wednesday you go back to the hospital and they insert pessaries. My big bleed had started before then so I didn't have these.
Unfortunately I had an incomplete miscarriage and i ended up having the ERPC last Wednesday - which was ok and now I'm glad it's over as I have been bleeding for almost 4 weeks and it's just finally over.

Although- and sorry if this is TMI and I probably shouldn't share this - but last night we DTD , it was the first time since we'd discovered the MMC on March 2nd (we never go this long ) anyway we'd had some wine with dinner with friends and so I was tipsy and happy - anyway the sex was going amazing and I was really happy feeling him inside me but then it occurred to me that basically since the last time we had done it the only things that had been there were those ultrasound rods- 4 times! And then they went and bloody shoved a vacuum up there to suck out the remains of my dead baby. Omg. That realisation hit me so hard and I burst out crying! My poor womb, my poor cervix my poor vagina- all this equipment up in there - anyway I peppery started bawling. In the middle of sex! It was really intense- and a first for me! but OH was amazing.
But yeah- I am just saying this because I don't (or didn't think I had a medical phobia) so if you really want to avoid the intervention do it because it really stays with you.
This whole thing is really just so sad and traumatic!

@Laney79 also you asked whether it's normal the bleeding stops after sleeping? I found that too- with this last one - I had very dark brown blood for maybe 5 days, but my pad was always clean when i woke up in the morning. Then I had one big bleed for maybe 3-4 hours - big clots and stuff- and then back to weird darkish light bleeding for 2 weeks until I ended up having to have the ERPC.

With regards to TTC after, after my first MC we waited till my period came (30days later) and then conceived immediately. Unfortunately that was an MMC discovered at 12 week scan- I had ERPC right away. Then I ovulated exactly 5 weeks later (I wasn't doing OPK's - I had some spotting which turns out was ovulation spotting) got pregnant again- but sadly that also ended in MMC...

So it is possible to get pregnant right away- and most people are not as unlucky as I have been - a very good friend of mine is currently 25 weeks with her baby she conceived immediately after a MC.
So just listen to your body and good luck with everything!

@HidCat yay so finally AF came! Thank god that wait is over!

@Cakelaur thanks for the perfect bbt explanation- I am still in 2 minds about doing it. I think i am quite curious to see what's going on with my body- 3 back to back MCs must have messed something up! But at same time I'm wondering if I really want to know how messed up it really is!

@zarala yes I think so. Started during sex with hubby last night (didn't notice til we finished!) and continued through to this morning but has slowed right down now. Talk about turning up at inappropriate times!

@Laney79 I had pills that was taken under my tongue- had to hold them there for 15 mins. Tasted chalky. I decided to take them at home, my mum was with me until my hubby could come home and take over. It started about 2 hours after the pills. I bleed through pads, clothes instantly - I ended up sitting in just my pants and a tshirt in the end on a towel so that I didn’t ruin the sofa. It was horrible. But I’m glad it was at home rather than hospital.

@cakelaur thanks for asking. I’m okay. Have moments. Just got off the phone to the doctor. He said regardless of having my daughter I am still suffering recurrent so he put a referral in for tests. So fingers crossed it come through quick.
Does anyone have a idea how long I’m looking wait wise?

@Primrose16
My gp gave me blood forms that I picked up later that day- my go surgery doesn't do blood so I have to go to the local hospital blood labs in first 4 day of period and then day 21 for progesterone
She also scheduled me for a pelvic US and that was for about 8 weeks later

I am still however waiting for the referral to the RMC to come through but I was told that could take at least 8 weeks

Hope yours is quicker!

Hello everyone sorry haven't been chatting much, work went a bit crazy.
Loved @Cakelaur post on temp charts thank you! So helpful.

Any thoughts on whether I'm in trouble with these stats.. I didn't realise cycle was so short but according to my natural cycles app...
Cycle length 24-26 days
Follicular phase 11-13 days
Ovulation cd 12-14
Luteal phase 13 days
Have just done lots of reading about shorter cycles being harder to catch sticky beans and now worrying. Of course...always need something to worry about while waiting for FW!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@laney79 sorry for ur loss it's horrible thing to go through! I had miscarriage in Feb aswell would of been 7 weeks nearly. Started bleeding so new something was up & went for scan at epu & had passed all of it already so they just signed me off. No need to go bk which was a good thing as far as it can be good! Got negative test bout week later when bleeding stopped. Never had Any pains during miscarriage & bleeding wasn't very heavy. So not as bad as some ppl get. Got period bk after 29 days an trying to conceive again now! Just bought some ovulation tests this week so gonna start testing as soon as they get here! Think should be ovulating this weekend.🤞 Good luck trying again hopefully will be lots of sticky babies for us all soon! 🌈

Thanks all for your kind wishes, experiences and advice-I don't know what idve done without these forums this past week or so. Really is comforting to know I'm not alone.

Having some cramps this eve so guiltily hoping this might be it.

Keep your fingers crossed for me-I'm desperately hoping next weds they'll say I've MC and its complete...then I can try and move forward, and hopefully get on the TTC train. Huge thanks and hugs to all xxx

Stay strong Laney79 I hope everything happens as quickly and as peacefully as possible for you

BabynameEdie you're so right about there always being something to worry about. I hope you can get started this weekend!

I saw the GP today because AF still isn't back properly after 5 months and she was sympathetic but said that because I've been pregnant before the best thing to do is just dtd every few days and try and forget about it. She said the thing she'd prescribe if she could for ttc is a holiday. I don't know how to feel...