I yam what I yam

[Bubblegum89]

Thread 6... 😑

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

Oh Limp, that is so tough. I can't believe you have to wait so long, is there no one else? Keeping my fingers crossed for you and thank you for your thoughts x

Bubble, that video sounds awful. What kind of bitch would think that's funny? As for "babydust", that's probably what those who use the phrase think is what got them preggers. After no more than three months ttc.

DH and I had a gid chat just now. He surprised me by saying he wants to try IVF before adoption. So we've put our wedding anniversary as a kind of cut-off date. If nothing more by then, we'll start the IVF ball rolling. I might still go to my GP though and talk to him about getting tests for me on the NHS. They won't give me IVF free because 36 is "too old" but they can damn well give me some tests for free!!

How do you feel after the chat SoozC?

Once you've got all your blood results you can usually get things moving quite quickly I've found. Bloods on the NHS seems like a good idea. Make sure they do day 3 and day 21 bloods.

Sooz I know, she got banned from the group as nobody found it very funny! Poor guy. How do you feel about IVF? Definitely get whatever tests you can done on the NHS. Like si1ver said, get both lots of bloods done at least. Has your OH had a SA done in the past?

I was right. Started my FP this afternoon 😢 so frustrating.

Blood hell bubble she sounds like a right cow 😡

I feel okay I think, kind of sad we have to consider it but kind of excited that something might happen.

I've had day 3 and 21 bloods before, DH's SA showed low morphology but very high count. I think I'd get myself tested first though. He's suffering with IBS right now so I want him to focus on feeling better. I don't mind getting checked, will probably have to get bloods done again anyway.

Spinnbarkeit literally means "spinnability" in German. Hmm, maybe I've been shagging wrong, not tried any spinning.

@SoozC have you thought about doing permenant fostering? I know someone who works in that, its like adoption but with more support. I'd like to do it eventually, whether or not I have my own kids.

@LimpLettice sorry to hear your appointment hasnt got you any answers.

@myusernameisnotmyusername sorry to hear FP has arrived 😧 do you have a hormonal imbalance? I do, I've had two 40 day cycles so I feel your pain, they suck and they let you get your hopes up too which is horrible.

Waiting around for FP now, still a bit early but all the usual signs are there, meh.

Feeling a bit crampy like FP is on the way 🤬 If it comes now, it'll be early for the first time ever. I'm 10DPO I think.

@limp so sorry you’re still waiting for answers. Hope the weekend goes quickly.

@bubble that’s a horrible thing to do, why would you think that’s a good idea when you’ve been TTC for a while. What a complete bitch.

@user sorry for fp arriving.

@sooz I’m pleased you’ve got a bit of a plan. Definitely push for as many tests on the NHS as they’ll give you.

@jaggy fingers crossed it’s not fp cramps for you!

The "kind of excited" bit of IVF is weird isn't it? I remember when it became clear that we were going down that route (before my AMH results came back declaring me basically infertile) having this massive sense of failure that I couldn't do it on my own. It was almost a sense of mourning.

For me, Si1ver, I do feel a failure in many respects but having made the decision last night with a date to start looking into it, the excitement comes from actually having a plan now, rather than blindly continuing month after month. If that makes sense? But I'm sure once we get into the reality that will wear off. It's like my being so hopeful last cycle - I was upbeat about it for no real reason and I feel the same about IVF. I guess I'm still in a kind of denial about our fertility. We got preggers last year so we must be able to again, right? I'm not thinking about the reality of it all with so many factors against us.

Sorry, rambling. Got to get up now - I'm going to be late for my class!

I’m glad you’re feeling a bit more hopeful now with the idea of IVF sooz I kind of felt the same when I first properly realised it might have to be our only option. In a way, it’s not nice to not be able to do it the “natural” way but it’s a much more controlled way of doing it and although the success rates aren’t great, they’re slightly better than natural conception anyway. Plus you’ve got the added bonus of being able to make sure only your best eggs get used etc. It’s kind of an exciting prospect when you think of it that way. For me, this unexplained infertility thing does my brain in but part of me is wondering whether my eggs are just not as good as they used to be. So with IVF, they could see my egg quality and only use the good ones (if there are any lol) Obviously the dream is to just get pregnant but I think in a way, albeit an expensive way, there’s still hope.

I get the denial thing as well. Been pregnant twice before, the doctors all say that I should eventually get pregnant naturally again and to just give it more time and it could well be the case which is why I keep that tiny bit of hope every month. It’s hard because it’s not something that’s easy to let go of. But honestly, don’t see it as a failure if you do end up having to do IVF. Someone said to me one time “if you had a headache, would you take painkillers?” If you take painkillers to ease a headache, you’re not failing at managing the pain yourself. Everyone needs help with something sometimes, the human body is fucking ridiculous and stupidly designed for even getting pregnant in the first place. If anything, I think IVF is even more admirable than being able to just drop your knickers and pop out a kid.

Sorry, I’m rambling too. My kid is doing her grade 1 flute exam and I’m sat in a waiting room with someone practicing the clarinet which is my living nightmare lol

Wow, good luck to her, Bubble! I have grade 7 flute, hated doing the exams. Clarinet practice is not my idea of a good time either! x

So my period arrived late last night after our boozy night out with friends. It was the first time I felt relaxed all week so I do think stress has such a huge part to play with our bodies/ hormones. I have been told that my high prolactin levels are due to stress and am thinking that is what's hindering me at the mo. Does anyone else have any experience with high pro lactin levels? Am having another blood test on Thursday to see what they are. My gp has been great to be fair but am feeling anxious as she is retiring in a few weeks and am worried I'll fall down the big black fertility hole as a result....

Thanks sooz she was very nervous but she’s actually very good so I’m sure she’s done fine :)

bridget sorry to hear fp arrived. I had very slightly raised prolactin levels on both my blood tests but the doctor told me it wasn’t a concern. She did say though that more often than not stress is the biggest factor. Which sounds fine until you realise that just makes things more stressful!

My sister just told me her friend is pregnant. She is from a very strict Muslim family and so it was obviously not planned, she hasn’t got a boyfriend, just a “fling”. I was joking the other day because I have a pen pal in the US who is in prison serving a life sentence and I said to my OH I bet she’ll be engaged before me (I’m always poking at him because he hasn’t proposed yet) and my pen pal emailed me the day after that telling me she’d got engaged. So now I’m truly thinking that somehow she will end up being pregnant before me as well seeing as literally EVERYONE that I know is pregnant right now. I just had to hide another girl yesterday on my fb who announced their fourth preganancy. BLAH.

Surprise pregnancy bombs are the worst. Self-preservation is required so good for you hiding them. Doesn't mean we don't care, just have to look after yourself.

I am at my class with my pregnant friend who's due a week after I would have been. I am proud that I continue to be able to talk to her about it and be interested and happy for her. It reminds me I'm not a horrible person about the fact we are struggling. It helps she is lovely though and very sensitive about my situation. To think I could have killed the new friendship dead by allowing my envy to distance myself. Small victories, Yammers!

It’s definitely all about the small victories :) good for you for keeping the friendship going. It was only last month my OH decided to tell me that his brother and his girlfriend were actually ttc. My nephew is 16 months now, almost as long as we’ve been ttc, and I always assumed he was an “accident” but he wasn’t, they had planned to ttc and got pregnant on their first month of trying but my OH didn’t want to tell me because he thought I would be upset and hate them or something because it was taking us so long. I was like, do you really think I’m that bad?! Haha.

It’s nice that your friend is sensitive about things though, lots of people are just happy to rub their pregnancies in your face and moan constantly about how awful it is to be pregnant because they can’t drink wine or they constantly have to pee etc etc. What’s the class you’re taking?

Don't want to say that here as it's probably quite outing! Good fun though and the possibility of doing it for a job in the future.

@Bubblegum89 thats a really nice comment about taking painkillers, gets you thinking.

No FP here yet, but shes not actually due till somewhere on or between Tuesday or Friday.

Morning ladies, how are we all doing?
Sooz I'm really curious about your class now!

You'll have to join the FB group, Wonky!

Does everyone else know???? Argh!!! Pottery? Wine making? Pole dancing?