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Conception

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Skip a month to avoid Xmas Bday?

104 replies

RDW1989 · 23/02/2018 13:53

Hi everyone.

DH and I have been TTC since December. If we don't get a BFP this month, I am thinking about skipping March. My period is due 25th Feb which I think could mean a birthday directly around Christmas if we were lucky that month. My Mum has a birthday a couple of days before Christmas and hates it. Is it weird to skip a month for a reason like this??

I could do with losing some weight (I'm 5'3 and 11stone, although only size 10-12, not sure if that's going to cause problems with TTC?) so perhaps I could focus on that for March...

We're both 28, and as I said this is 3rd month TTC.

OP posts:
Unicornchaser · 25/02/2018 16:15

Do what you think is best for you and your family OP Smile

HippychickRM · 25/02/2018 16:24

I’m not planning on holding off. We held off TTC till December because I’m a teacher and financially it doesn’t make sense for maternity to fall over the Summer holidays. If I’m not pregnant by June then we are going to have to have a think about holding off again or not.

Also, I have a best friend who’s birthday is December and we make a fuss for her birthday every year. A child in our school is Christmas Day, but parents celebrate in January with a big party.

Bubblegum89 · 25/02/2018 17:07

I just find it amazing how many people are so confident in their conceiving ability that they know that they can skip a month and just conceive the month they prefer. Does it ever really work that for anyone? Or are most of us just really unlucky?

Doodlebug89 · 25/02/2018 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinjagoNinja · 25/02/2018 18:05

I just find it amazing how many people are so confident in their conceiving ability that they know that they can skip a month and just conceive the month they prefer. Does it ever really work that for anyone? Or are most of us just really unlucky?

I'd say it works like that for most people actually. Only one of my friends has had trouble conceiving. Everyone else has fallen pregnant pretty much when they wanted, give or take a few months.

People don't tend to brag about this or make you aware of it, so it probably seems that fertility struggles are the norm because people are more likely to talk about it. Each time I was pregnant I didn't say to anyone "I'm pregnant - first month of trying too!".

Bubblegum89 · 25/02/2018 20:01

NinjagoNinja most people I know struggled or are struggling to conceive. I do know a few people who haven’t and 99% of them were very braggy lol literally “omg what a surprise, we weren’t even trying and we got pregnant!” Like, I don’t need to know how fertile you are, just say you’re pregnant. Maybe I just know mostly unfortunate people

Oysterbabe · 25/02/2018 20:10

Infertility affects about 1 in 10 couples so that's quite unfortunate that so many people you know are struggling.

SpadesOfGlory · 26/02/2018 09:38

My brother is the 30th December and I'm early January...neither of us have felt hard done by at all! It honestly wouldn't bother me at this stage, I just want a baby! Plus they can arrive early or late, so there's no guarantee that even if you planned it they would come when they were supposed to.

MissMoodyMoo · 26/02/2018 10:49

I know someone who was born on Xmas day and hated it! When be was 6 his mum and dad let him pick "a day of celebration" at another time in the year and he picked harry potters birthday! It's always been made a big event and has a quirky story behind it too Lol!

woodsies1975 · 26/02/2018 18:26

I’m the 28th Dec and personally I hate it, so we made an active decision to avoid TTC in the months which would potentially have meant a late December baby. In the end she was born end of November!

Happygummibear · 26/02/2018 18:37

I was really worried that it might take ages to conceive... turns out first month it worked. This meant we would have an August baby.... due 2 days after my birthday. Having been a August child I know how hard it is in school etc so I didn't think it was ideal. Also I could be sharing a birthday...

Turns out my little one didn't want to share a birthday with me and came on her due date. We will be celebrating her 18th and my 50th at the same time.

I am still worried about school but at 6 months she is already crawling so I know with encouragement and help she will be fine. Also I remember hardly anyone coming to my parties cause of holidays etc... so I am just going to plan amazing days out or holidays instead.

I honestly don't think when a birthday is really matters. At least with Christmas when they are at an age when they don't want to think about getting older they have a distraction !

crackerjacket · 26/02/2018 18:41

What about early Jan? It's a dreary month, just after Christmas...

soundsystem · 26/02/2018 18:46

I would! You're only 28, and you've only been trying for 3 months. If you were older/ had been trying for ages I'd say take every opportunity you can!

I may be biased as we're holding off on TTC number 3 to avoid a December birthday (DC1 is November and DC2 is late January, so just feel like it would be a bit much!)

60sname · 26/02/2018 18:52

People don't tend to brag about this or make you aware of it, so it probably seems that fertility struggles are the norm because people are more likely to talk about it. Each time I was pregnant I didn't say to anyone "I'm pregnant - first month of trying too!".

This. I have mentioned it more than once on here precisely because it's bad form to do so in RL. The only people that know this apart from close family figured it out as we'd discussed timing of starting TTC.

DistractedByIrrelevance · 26/02/2018 19:03

I’d rather have my Christmas birthday than not exist.

Buglife · 26/02/2018 19:12

I don’t think it’ll make a big difference to skip a month. But I echo what other people have said, there is always some time of year that has a drawback! I have a late August baby and I was desperately worried about it... until he was born. Now he’s starting school in September and he’s thriving at nursery and not behind at all so I hope it will all be well. And I am now pregnant... with a July baby! So two kids with summer holiday birthdays.

Faze84 · 26/02/2018 19:34

I was trying for 6 months. On the 6th Month i thought about skipping that cycle to avoid xmas baby. I just thought fuck it, what if that is my month. I just want a baby pleeeeease. Anyway. Im glad i did and dc was born between xmas and NY 2017. That was our month. Im going to make it special for dc and when they are older give the choice of celebrating it 6m later or something.

Im glad i didnt skip. I hold my 8wk old thinking what if i missed that month would i be pg or holding a baby...

Misst83 · 26/02/2018 21:20

We've got two December DC born 5 years and 5 days apart! DS was due 23rd December and came early on 10th December and DD was due 24th December and came 15th December just gone. It was a pure accident and while I can't yet comment on having two with December birthdays only 5 days apart, having DS birthday in December is lovely. The only downside really is that he has to wait a whole year for presents.. and he's very impatient!

PoohBearsHole · 26/02/2018 21:24

I'm no good at planning - August and Xmas baby here 😂. Babies come when babies come (still cross about impatient August Dc - love dc dearly but can be a struggle when young. Still wouldn't change either for the world)

PoohBearsHole · 26/02/2018 21:29

Oh and we have birthdays later or earlier depending. August dc had 3 parties (us/family/school friends) bonus in their eyes! Dec is before Xmas so knows that if Birthday wishes aren't granted then Xmas usually are. It's fine honestly it's how YOU deal with it. Also ask family to ensure seoerars presents even if a sticker book when young. Dec dc now asks for joint presents expecting a big one 😜 We don't but aunts often do and get something REALLY wanted :)

LookingAtTheStars89 · 26/02/2018 21:37

@Oysterbabe. According to the NHS, it's 1 in 7.

@NinjagoNinja. If You look on the bus threads on here and the ttc for a while threads, I think you'll find that there are more than a fair few people who can't just "get pregnant when they fancy". I'm ttc no.4 after a miscarriage and I haven't been able to just get pregnant when I fancied. I would have like to have been pregnant again by my EDD in three weeks time but that hasn't happened.

newmama2018 · 26/02/2018 21:38

My baby is a Christmas baby and it's lovely. Xx

NinjagoNinja · 26/02/2018 21:55

1 in 7 still means that the vast majority of people don't have fertility issues and can have a fair shot at planning their families.

Of course lots and lots of women don't find it straightforward.

The thread was asking if it's madness to skip ttc in March to avoid a Christmas Birthday. I don't think it's madness. Each time we ttc my period maths told me the due date would be the twentysomething of December, so we skipped it. Earlier in December wouldn't have bothered me.

joleigh332 · 26/02/2018 22:05

My first born was due Mid August (would have been youngest in year) ended up being mid September (eldest), 2nd DC due Sept came in July. Even if you were to concieve and have a due date of 25th Dec chances are it wouldn't be on time anyway.

joleigh332 · 26/02/2018 22:06

Early Sept even! Baby was late but not that late! Shock

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