TTC after pregnancy loss. Thread 17. New Year, new hope for all!

[Primrose16]

Oops the other one got full before new one made. Kept the same name to make it easier to find.

@Eastend2015 that is amazing, I love the different meanings to everything. I saw it as a c-section scar and I saw the dots of red as blood from an mc, love the + in the blue. Didn't even notice that at first. And I live the stitching. So clever. I'm so sorry you're having a shit time. It's really not fair. X

@eastend2015 words just fail me at times like this. All I can say is we are all here for you and if swearing and ranting helps go ahead, that's what I love about this thread you can just say what you need to and everyone understands.

So sorry @Eastend2015 :-( Swear as much as you like!! xxxx

I'm 10 DPO and even though I've had CM which is like when we had our BFP in December, I've got that period sensation today and I normally get AF 11 DPO so not feeling so positive now 😕 If it stays away tomorrow, maybe there's hope?!

Thanks ladies, so much lovely support here. I hope it’s ok to stick around even though feeling able to TTC again feels a long way away.

@DaisyMay25 I’m having the same pains in same area. Waiting for an internal scan, I need to tape my hands together as I’m scaring myself silly googling symptoms. Have you had a period since MC? X

@Kate8989 stay away from google, it's terrified me, yea this is cycle six for me coming up but one was missed. They seem to have eased off a bit today. When's your scan?

@DaisyMay25- I know, I know! It’s a weird urge I have to Google all my symptoms, but it makes me so bloody depressed! I’m convinced I’ve got everything under the sun, it’s driving me mad.
I’m waiting to hear from the hospital for my scan. I had my first period since MC last Saturday. It wasn’t too bad, I had the same pains I’m getting now. So weird they are located in the left?! Did your DR say what it could be? X

@Kate8989 mine are on my left which is where my ectopic was she said it could just be a cyst or a blockage left behind but it good be nothing. At least your body is starting to recover then and you know where you stand with your cycles then. Gotta wait about two weeks for my appointment, hopefully you don't have to wait long x

@eastend2015 I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're ok.

@cakelaur that's lovely. A great way to express your emotions.

Ugh just found out a friends pregnant...of course they weren’t trying and it’s a total surprise! I feel bad for feeling jealous but it really doesn’t feel fair that some people have it all accidentally fall on their lap. Hope everyone else is doing well and feeling positive for March!

Ladies.... has any one else struggled with opks since their mc? I'm on second cycle since mc. Before I could totally rely on them. Both IC and CBFM. Last cycle I didn't get a positive or a peak. But kind of expected that cycle to to a bit odd. But hoping this cycle would be totally back to normal. But not even a hint of a line on the opk. Normally by now I'm nearing peak.

Hello ladies,
Can I join? Had a MMC in 2016 on first round of IVF. 2 further IVF cycles failed and then magically last month I found out that we had conceived naturally, after 5 years of trying. Our miracle baby. We did it all by ourselves.

Started to bleed at 6+5 went to the EPU and they said that baby was a bit small for dates and there was no heartbeat. Booked me in for a scan this morning and baby hasn't grown at all since last week and still no heartbeat. The doctors have said that I need to wait for nature to take its course or book in for a D&C.

I'm so f***g heartbroken at the moment that our little miracle has failed. It took us 5 years to conceive naturally and now there seems to be trend for us getting to about 5/6 weeks and it all going wrong.

@Claire138 - I had exactly the same on the weekend. Felt horribly jealous and weirdly made me loose hope for ourselves which I know isn’t pretty irrational.

@MelbourneCrown03 I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Hopefully you will find this thread as useful as I have.

AF here for me at 33 days Rather than my usual 28/9. I felt weirdly pleased that it’s finally here and that my body is on the way to healing itself. Was anyone else’s AF different first cycle afternoon MC? X

@dulwichdays that’s exactly how I feel...not annoyed at them (Would never wish this upon anyone), annoyed at my body. Makes me feel like I’m broken.
Glad af has arrived for you so you feel like your body is falling back on track. My first af was about 4 days late too and my first period was fairly normal. However, this is my second period since d&c and it seems a bit heavier and lasting longer 🤔 Who knows what it’s up to!

@melboureclown03 very sorry to hear about your losses. It truly is an awful thing to go through! I hope you we can offer you some support!

@cakelaur do you record your BBT?

@dulwichdays my first af was more crampy and an extra day and a little heavier. But other than that it came and went. And I felt so much more emotionally stable once it finished. I'm guessing my hormones started to level out. And it was about 4 days late.

@Claire138 yup. I bbt and at the mo it's the only thing I trust. It's just that last month I suddenly ovulated a few days late with no warning. I haven't got nearly as much cm as usual. So it's hard to predict with that too. I'm on cd 11 and usual ov around cd14. Usually get peak on CBFM around cd12. So I'm not totally off this month yet. But I've had more highs than usual. And the IC aren't even showing a hint of a line.

@MelbourneClown03 so sorry to see you here. Sorry for your loss. It's such a horrible heartbreaking thing you're going through.

@cakelaur that’s good, I was just checking you had a back up. I never had any issues with opk last month but I had a fallback rise on 3dpo so I felt a bit up the left last month. Before mmc I knew exactly what was going on. Hoping this month will be better! I would just rely on your BBT charts if you aren’t getting your peak, as I guess opk’s can be influenced by time of day and how hydrated you are.

Back to work tomorrow for the first time since the mc. I'm a little bit nervous. I know it's bad but I'm relieved there are no pregnant colleagues working the same shift as me tomorrow. I'm not sure I can face bumps at the moment.

Thanksgiving @cakelaur and @claire138 - my counsellor mentioned that it might be heavier and more painful than usual so fingers crossed that it not. As she also pointed out, AF is my body’s way of saying I’m ready and proof that I’ve ovulated so that was reassuring.

I think I need to seek out some councilling. How did you go about accessing some help? Did you go through your GP?

I think I just had a negative pregnancy test! Can anyone see a second line? For clarification if it's negative then I'm back in the game after MC.

@hidcat I can't see anything

Thank you @Martydog. Going to do another in the morning to be certain but it's a weird bittersweet feeling to see the bfn after nearly 6 weeks. Hubby and I are ready to start again so I feel relieved that my MC is behind me. Bubba will always be part of the family but now I can start afresh.

I'm sorry to see some new names on the thread. I'm sorry for your losses and hope my posting this wasn't insensitive.

@cakelaur and @Eastend2015 love the pics. What a creative and cathartic way of expressing your emotions!
@Llondbol has af stayed away today?
@MelbourneClown03 I'm so sorry for your losses. It's really rubbish what you've had to go through. Yes your gp should refer you for some counselling.
@dulwichdays I'm glad your body is getting back to normal. Fingers crossed for a bfp soon.
@YassQueen good luck for tomorrow.hope it goes ok
@HidCat looks neg to me too. Hope you can move forward now and get your bfn soon!
I'm on cd12 here and got EWCM today. Still neg on opk but for me who doesn't usually ov til cd20 this is a positive sign! Fingers crossed for early ovulation. I'm really hoping this seed cycling will shorten my cycles! 🤞🤞

Congrats @HidCat it's the only time you'll wish for a bfn!!

OMG!!! Positive opk!!! And hubby is away tonight with work!!! Hopefully we can get a quickie in tomorrow. We got the last three nights in! It was totally blank this morning. Not even a hint of a Line!!! Otherwise I would have gone and met him in the hotel!! 🙈 argh!!!

@MelbourneClown03 I was offered counselling through the EPU when I had my missed MC and subsequent ERPC. I was offered 8 sessions with the NHS and I’ve been amazed how easily I’ve booked sessions. It’s with a specialised counsellor at the EPU (she’s also a midwife nurse). I’d definitely recommend it and if it wasnt offered initially then I guess you might be able to access it through your GP.