When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

@looking so sorry it wasn’t a positive visit to the GP. I don’t know much about morphology but I wonder if there are things your DH could do that can help? Maybe give him a chance to process and then do some research together. I know how you feel about the panic that a sibling might never happen. Big hugs.

Google low morphology, it's definitely something that can be improved. DH had low morphology about a year ago and we got a bfp in October so it can happen, it may just take longer. x

BTW, regular/long-term posters, there's a secret Yammers FB group, pm me if you want in!

😂😂 @pink I know what you mean! I feel like all my skin is itchy, desperately trying not to itch my nipples off!

Fecking feck feck. My nips are sensitive. Which means I've probably already ovulated. And what happened in the days running up to it when I had ewcm? Failed shag and feck all else (well, one but that is NOT ENOUGH!) due to the fecking snow!!! Bastard weather. Grrrrr.

@looking my DH has low morphology and we are trying reducing alcohol, vitamins etc to improve it but I completely understand how upsetting it is.

On an exciting development after a few months of acupuncture this cycle is looking like 32 days rather than the usual 45 + day cycles so maybe things are looking up (I realise I'm setting myself up for a fall but can't help but think it's going to work this time. I'm pathetic!)

Highwater Not pathetic at all, even if this isn't your month that's still something to be pleased about. I'm tentatively predicting my first ever 31 day cycle (last one was 78) and putting it down to taking Agnus Castus

highwater a friend of mine is convinced acupuncture worked for her she tells a story of seeing her male accupunturist in the supermarket and shouting down the aisle " Hi Mike, you got me pregnant!"

Thanks @wonky and @pinkdonkey, really appreciate the messages. Love the story about the acupuncturist, sadly mine is female hehe!

Looking sorry about your update. I hope you are both doing ok today x

High I've not done acupuncture but I've been pleased that for the last couple of months my cycles have gone down from 35 days to 30 days so I can totally see why it's exciting!

Looking I’m so sorry it wasn’t great news. From what I’ve heard though, morphology can be improved so that’s a good thing. Will they do other SA now and again to check on it?

I’m looking into IVF as thinking of getting a start on it in the autumn. I came across mild IVF, have any of you heard of it before? It’s like normal IVF but the medication cost is hugely reduced because you are only medicated for 5-9 days so it’s also kinder on your body. Apparently it focuses on egg quality rather than egg quantity so it works with the one egg you would release naturally rather than producing a bunch of eggs and that reduces the risk of OHS. It says the success rates are just as good as normal IVF, I’m thinking of going down that road instead. Do you think it sounds too good to be true?

@doasdreamersdo I got so excited when I got the positive OPK, I almost missed it because it was so early! It's also positive because it means more regular chances as waiting c. 50 days feels like forever!

@bubble I’ve just been to an open evening about this! It was really interesting- quite scary hearing about normal ivf as I hadn’t realised they use drugs to bring on menopause then restart your system. V scary to me. However, the mild or natural are serious options for us. It’s still bloody expensive but half regular ivf costs. I defo recommend going to an open evening for more info. Ooh! The first ever ivf baby is 40 this year- she was a result of natural ivf- no drugs!

As a result of the evening we have decided to do 2 more months then book into our first round of ivf. I’m nearly 36 and don’t want to wait any longer- I lost hope count at 18months TTC.

@Highwater. We Are doing the same. Apparently morphology is the hardest one to improve. It is upsetting yes.

@Bubblegum89. They won't do any more. Everything else was fine - DH actually has loads of swimmers, it's just that 97% of them can't penetrate an egg! As I said above, morphology is the hardest to improve so we will do our best but are being realistic. I've started looking into IVF with ICSI. We'd need up to save for a bit and I would need to lose a bit of weight.

This is turning out to be a sucky month! It's my EDD on the 18th, which I'm dreading, I'm about to be diagnosed with bloody PCOS by the sounds of my scan yesterday and now this with DH. Sorry, I'm ranting!

Bubble randomly I've just been looking into the mild/natural option. My nearest ivf clinic is a Create one & that's what they specialise in. I googled 'Create fertility' and found a MN thread on the subject, some people had negative & positive experiences - with a lot of people arguing that if your ovarian reserve was of a decent level then standard IVF might lead to better results as you have more chances. However, I'm also attracted to fewer drugs & as I'm 38 with PCOS and mediocre ovarian reserve I might look into it a bit more.

FYI one of the criticisms of this clinic was that although they appear cheaper, there were a few hidden costs, so that's worth weighing up too.

Here's the thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/2537425-Create-fertility-natural-IVF-any-experiences-or-success-stories

@LookingAtTheStars89 maybe things will only get better from here. The next few weeks will be hard especially with your edd coming up but hopefully by the end of the month things will be a bit brighter. Keeping everything crossed for some positive news to come your way soon.

Thanks for that Ron I did have a read of the Create website and it said that mild IVF was suitable for those with normal/high egg reserve but that thread says the opposite haha. I wouldn’t use Create as my fertility clinic does mild IVF too and I trust them, they’re great so if I do any treatment it will be with them.

I am a little wary of anything that isn’t actual IVF as I want to do whatever gives the highest success rates. I think that natural IVF is different to mild IVF but I’ll have to research a bit more!

At my clinic, both IVF and mild IVF are £2900 per cycle and then medication is extra. I think realistically we could easily do 2 cycles of mild or one cycle of normal (based on extra med prices) but it’s which one we would have the highest chances with... argh I wish this could all be a bit simpler!

lexie the idea of IVF terrifies me lol the amount of drugs etc you have to take and the fact that you can put your body through all of that and it still not work. Horrible. I need to see if there are any open evenings near us I think.

looking oh I see, I don’t really know much about sperm stuff lol too busy worrying about my own parts. Have you been given the all clear? Not sure where you were up to with tests. It’s good you still have options but totally understand why it’s still upsetting. Everyone wants to be able to get pregnant naturally and when you realise that probably won’t happen, it’s pretty devastating even if you are able to get pregnant with help. Sending you (and your OH!) hugs

Fertility appt was okay - feeling quite positive. We were mainly referred because DPs SA results were 'poor' but doc says he's only slightly below what they'd like. They did an internal u/s in me and confirmed pcos and possibly endo - I'd always suspected either but not both, so that's a bummer. Been referred for HSC and something else involving a camera up my vag which I can't remember the name of! But generally nothing looks awful so that's a relief. She confirmed I'd just ov'd on my right side which is great as I thought I had yesterday (cramps) and we've been dtd. The staff were all very lovely which helped a lot.

Glad your appointement went okay chooklass bit crappy getting those diagnoses but hopefully they can get things started to try and help you. I know plenty of women with PCOS and/or endo who have had more than one child naturally. Is it a SIS they’re going to do? That’s a catheter/US up the vag, fills your uterus with dye to check lining, uterus shape and look for any odd patches. They usually do that alongside a HSG/HyCoSy. Or could be a hysteroscopy if is a camera, prob to look for where your endo is and if there’s any additional scar tissue. Either way, it’s good that you’re getting everything you need done so you an be in the best position you can going forward :)

Thanks @ronswan that’s a really good read- if somewhat terrifying. I know there’s going to been varying pov with different experiences etc but every positive experience has a negative one to match! 😬

@bubble yes there’s a difference between natural and mild- natural is zero drugs, they just monitor then extract your eggs when you ov naturally. That’s why they need to do it 3 cycles to get the ideal 5/6 eggs. Then they fertilise and implant successful blastocyst if there is one. Mild, however, has 6-9 days of drugs, supposedly a lower dose to avoid hyper stimulation. But this is only suitable for women with an adequate/high AMH. Defo go to an open evening.

looking sending big hugs.

chooklas glad that you got some positives from your appointment.

My app tells me AF is late but based on opk and ovulation cramping I'm reckoning I'm only 10dpo so still waiting it out not feeling especially positive today. On the plus sign I've no signs AF is on the way though.

Glad to hear it went ok @Chooklass. We've got our first appointment at Easter so it's useful to know what to expect.

CD35 here and I stupidly POAS this morning. Of course it's a BFN. I just wish AF would arrive so we can start another cycle!

Lexie they are doing an open morning near me fairly soon so I think I'll take a look. It's good to know the pros and cons before getting the sales pitch.

I'm having quite a bad evening. Some minor work and home issues have turned me into a sobbing basket case. I feel like I'm just so exhausted. It's nearly been two years of this shit. I'm actually have an enforced month off TTC as DP is away during fw and I'm almost feeling like it'll be an emotional holiday. I sometimes don't even know myself anymore, I've lost all my spark and my mojo.

And now I'm thinking more seriously about ivf I feel like such a failure for not being able to do this. And worse - guilt. I actually feel guilty for apparently not being able to function properly.

I've been lurking but not much to post. Brain is ttc fried, waiting on recurrent miscarriage referral and totally fucked off im not ovulating yet. Doing that stupid thing of ignoring miscarriage thinking I'll be more fertile now 🙄

Oh Ron. Ttc is such a horror show, and it's so hard to stay rational. My long term ttc friend (44 now and given up) always says the day she realised pregnancy / motherhood is not an achievement, not something she could diligently apply herself to in order to succeed was the day the fog lifted a bit. It's still shit, but you have not failed, it's shit luck, and there's nothing to feel guilty about. Wishes could take own advice.