Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

harriet, I am sending you all the good vibes. I know nothing can reduce your stress at this point, but just try to keep breathing and go as easy on yourself (physically and mentally both) as you can.

Harry, wow, nice line! Congrats!

mouse, as others have said, you are not broken, and you are so resilient!

sk1pper, 7 pregnant ladies is too many pregnant ladies.

Binky - hey Binks, sorry the witch got you yet again but you don't have to apologise for dropping off. We're here if you needs us, just don't drop off forever! Not 100% what vitamins are best for improving sperm (thankfully that's one of the things I haven't had to work on) but I'm sure others can advise, otherwise Google has a ton of resources if you don't mind doing a little digging. Generally, dropping the alcohol and having a better diet will help him loads. He may want to consider limiting caffeine too, that shit isn't good for anyone.

Mouse - you are not broken! I have read a lot of threads on MN the last two years and short-luteal phase is a concern for many people, there are always replies from ladies who have achieved conception with short luteal phases so try not to worry.

Kwick - oh you lucky thing, enjoy Corfu! Ha ha, how I've missed your stern looks!!

Harriet - I don't know too much about pg tests but the fact they are getting darker each day looks good to me. Understand your anxiety but try and stay positive.

Harry - oh congratulations!! So many BFPs recently, just wish I was one of them.

So I retested and it's official.

I feel sick with fear now that I'm going to do something wrong and lose it. I know the other ladies with BFPs probably feel the same.

Congratulations Harry wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy. 9 cycles is a perfectly normal amount of trying, so unfortunately it doesn't give me much hope on cycle 21. Happy for you nonetheless though - it's just the luck of the draw.

Hi chlo good luck with EOD. I've been thinking we haven't had enough sex the last few months - we only did it twice last month. It's not really giving it a good enough go. Going to try and have more this month - but DH is now away until Friday so I don't have a lot of choice frustratingly

Congratulations Harry, that was a short stop on the thread!! Wishing you a happy 9 months!!

Thanks girlies, I have my specialists appointment tomorrow and I think the nerves and worry are getting to me. The temping thing isn't even stressing me it's just the fact I know absolutely nothing about how my body works and I'm heading towards cycle 11/month 12 and really I should have my shit together. Plus my hormones are probably all wacked due to this thyroid issue. Probably more frustrated than anything. It was my doctor who suggested to try temping again as before I was on medication I couldn't get a decent line. I'm either 8, 7 or 3 DPO today so I won't be temping past tomorrow.

We've definitely been guilty of that in the past jam. It's hard to keep the sex life up when you're TTC! I know it's not exactly romantic but I'm actually marking the days in my diary so that we definitely don't miss it this month as I'll be bloody damned if we end up having to have IVF because we haven't been able to have enough sex!! Had that argument with DH many times in the past as always seems to be me whose 'responsible' for it (and I know many other ladies seem to have same problem on here!) but finally he's got the message! Our consultant also recommended HS in the morning as testosterone levels are higher.

Congrats harry, lots of BFP's on the board again at the moment, let's hope some of us old timers get one soon!

Hi all,

Was on here for a while called Miw. Hope everyone is ok?

Have finally started ball rolling with tests as TTC for 16 months and have had two miscarriages.

So the dr has sent my bloods today for full blood count, thyroid test, diabetes test, kidney function test and hormone test.

I have to say I was quite impressed to be honest.

Evening all! It's all moving fast again!....

Congratulations harry

Happy holidays kwick 🕶** 🍹☀️

Keeping everything crossed for you Harriet 🤞**

Good luck for tomorrow mouse, hope it eases your mind a bit

Jam I really rate the EOD approach as chlo mentioned- it's the most sex I think we've ever had, but it does take the pressure off and means DH has a rough plan which he seems better with. Worth a try?

Hey bab (miw) 👋 great to hear that they've lined up some tests for you- fx it's a simple solution

I had an unexpected call from gp today just to add to my TTC stress..last bloods I had through her were apparently very weird (hadn't bothered chasing results as have now seen FC and have CD3 bloods tomorrow). She said she's never seen oestrogen so high unless it was in a pregnancy So whilst she's asked for gynae to give an opinion, I obviously came home and POAS in case I was one of the miracle "Has period but actually pregnant" women (Obviously it was a BFN).

Now I'm freaking myself out as I've been googling and it's telling me that I'm either dying of some horrible disease or that I'm never going to get pregnant. FFS! What else can be wrong with me?! Arrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dammit just lost my message...anyway:

Amazing news harry congrats! Seem to be coming thick and fast...and am at a similar stage - not yet a year, but anxiety starting to creep in, so found the news comforting :) Don't doubt yourself and hope you enjoy a peaceful 9 months xx

Argh binky what an arse-ache - fx at least it might be part of the puzzle that can be dealt with

Hi babi/miw! Good to hear you're seeing some progress

Good luck with the appt mouse

Hi Babipotjam / miw! Hope the tests reveal an easy fix!

Ugh blinky, why would she give you half the story like that?! Step away from Google.... (FX there is a much more straightforward answer)

Mouse, it does sound so frustrating. Hope it goes well at the specialist's.

Hi everyone - sorry, totally dropped off the thread there! Work got busy, I'm just generally tired/flat and in that strange limbo between IVF cycles. I can't even possibly begin to catch up on everything I've missed, but you're all always in my thoughts!

AMAZING to see the BFPs!!! I understand the nervousness, but I'm just so so happy for you!

I went to an absolutely fantastic support group tonight - honestly the best thing I've done for myself throughout this whole thing. It was so great to be around a group of fabulous women who know exactly how this all feels, hear others vocalise thoughts I thought only I had, hear everyone's stories and genuinely laugh with people who get it. I honestly feel almost lighter 😌

We've got our follow up appt at the clinic this Friday to talk about what happened with our cycle and figure out our next steps - eep!

Pyjamas - good to hear from you, how did you find a support group like that? Is it through the NHS?

Binky - step away from google! I wonder why your oestrogen is so high though, will she be checking your progesterone later too?

Miw - it's the right move to have tests done, TTC is out of your hands so it's always comforting to put it in the hands of professionals. Hope that starts to put your mind at ease.

Mouse - good luck today xx

Jam - did you get bad nightmares on Clomid? I've had 3 days of it, I've woke up hyperventilating (even if I have nightmares this is strange behaviour for me) and DH is worrying. For some reason I know it's the Clomid, especially as I get sickness each morning as per usual and I took more than any other cycle to use the pack up.

Pyjamas I too had a chance to talk yesterday but nit group like you but to the sister who took my blood she was lovely..
she chatted to me about how she had had issues TTC and some of the things I am feeling she had felt. It made me feel 100000000000x better.
As if I was normal for feeling the way I have!!

Her top tip was reflexology as she swears it was what changed her mindset and thus she became pregnant. She said the oddest but best advice she was given and could give was visualise yourself with the baby and it will happen one way or another . I have tried to take on that mantra we shall see!

Lovely seeing all the bfps congrats ladies x

Kav has had a beautiful baby girl! Where has that 9 months gone!!

Amazing news about kav! Where has that time gone indeed.

I found the group through the Fertility Network website skipper - here's the link: fertilitynetworkuk.org/for-those-trying-to-become-parents/support/fertility-groups/england-groups/

Woke up after batshit crazy dreams about taking my friend for an abortion on a Caribbean island (wtf) and swore I could smell sausage rolls when I woke up. It's official, I've lost my mind.

Glad your chat with the sister helped Babi - speaking to someone in real life who has gone through the same thing can make such a massive difference. I'm definitely going to the group again next month.

Good luck with your appointment today mouse

Hello miw/ bab I remember you. My friend at work said the same re reflexology - hmm maybe will give it a go

Binky ugh not what you need - when will you see the gynae ? We would do EOD but DH travels for a living and is away currently so we can only do it around his roster.

Hello pyjamas glad you're still with us. I'm curious about your support group now - I've got mine on 14 August so it can't be the same one! Glad it went so well there is something so liberating about talking about it face to face with people who understand

Skipper come to think of it I did get nightmares but put them down to progesterone. I'm currently mulling over getting some more for my next cycle - giving the last few natural ones everything we've got. I got told off so much for buying it online though I'm not sure I'll bother

Congrats to kav, that did go quickly

Workmen this morning at the neighbours asked "no baby?" this morning - to make sure they could start work. Couldn't even leave the house without being baby quizzed
DH also strikes again. He text me at 2200 saying he'd arrived at hotel and going out to get some food. Woke up to a text at 0330 saying just got back in and had a fun evening. He's at work ffs. This means he was drinking Friday, Saturday Sunday Monday (went out with the boys) and now Wednesday. It is three months until treatment starts now and I've asked him repeatedly to be mindful of this. It doesn't seem to matter what I say or do, he just doesn't seem to get it

Hello all. Can I join in? am I in the right place?

Read the thread / trying to keep up and learn the terminology!

Age: 30 (31 in couple months). DH just turned 30

TTC#1

Cycle 1

UCL 30 days

CD 26

I use the natural cycles app as ‘contraception’ up until now so I know my cycle well

Together 7 years and married for 4. We have had a rough patch in our marriage for the last 6 months with a big move / career change / upheaval in our lives that we didn’t deal with very well. We have finished counselling and are in a really good place now, so ready to TTC#1. The very beginning of the journey for us so we could be in for a long haul or who knows!
We ‘officially’ start trying when I ovulate in September so a month or so…but I wanted to jump on the thread and start getting to know posters.

Hi everyone and welcome meg and welcome back miw. Thanks for your support ladies. I'm still feeling terrified and pessimistic, but cramping and spotting seems to have eased off which is a relief for now.

pyjamas your group sounds brilliant - well done you for being proactive and doing it. When do things start again for you next cycle?

jam that is really annoying about your DH. Maybe it is his way of coping with the stress of this process, but that's only ok if it doesn't affect the process itself, which obviously drinking can. He will have to cut down for your ivf cycle if you don't get a bfp before then.

binky the oestrogen thing sounds really weird - fx this will lead to some answers for you.

All will become clear tomorrow Harriet at our IVF cycle follow up appointment tomorrow - AF due next week on Thurs so next cycle could start on Friday next week. I know what to expect now, so less nervous about the unknown but terrified of another fail. One day at a time...

I was thinking about going to that one jam, but thought three groups may be overkill! I go to
My clinic one as well. That's really annoying about your DH and it's useful for me to see your side as I've been the one in your DH's shoes. It's impossible to change another person's behaviour if they don't want to do it, but it's incredibly frustrating.

Welcome meg!

I was also going to ask if anyone has come across this refund programme from Access Fertility? It was mentioned at my support group and I see they partner with the clinic I'm at, so I'm going to give them a call today to find out more! www.accessfertility.co.uk/programmes/the-access-fertility-ivf-refund-programme/

Jamon your husband sounds similar to mine...I worry about his drinking for his general health but mainly it can't be good for fertility! He doesn't seem to get it though!

Binky I know it's concerning but probably more likely that the test has got messed up for some reason, especially as it is so unusual. Try not to worry too much (not easy I know!)

harriet I read something recently that said whether you are hopeful or worried, whether you get really attached or not, whatever you do won't affect the outcome so try and enjoy the early days of your pregnancy even if you are worried!

I've started spotting this morning so looks like period is on its way . So we're moving onto cycle 20!!! Only 3 natural cycles before we're due to start IVF which is worrying me as I really don't want to do it. Always hate the few days before my period, I get quite bad PMS and feel quite down so I just want it to come now.

Thanks Pyjamas, I'm not entirely coping at the moment in my new work environment. I getting pangs of jealousy (or is it envy?) every time I see a pregnant woman in the office. Yesterday it built up and up until I was a raging hormonal mess by the time I got home. When DH asked what my problem was I burst into tears, I tried to explain but he really doesn't get it. He tries his best but sometimes I want someone to understand on an emotional level. This morning in the over filled office lift I was actually squished up against a pregnant lady'a bump. And in my head I'm cursing god or whoever is responsible for this cruel joke.

Yep, there was a lot of chat about that kind of thing skipper. I can't overemphasise how amazing it was to hear others say the deepest darkest things I think when I see pregnant women. It was a huge weight lifted off just feeling normal!

Oh sk1pper massive hugs. It's soooo shit when there's pregnant people allll over the work place. If you feel it's too much, have a moment outside or away. I find re-focusing on something unrelated helps. But I completely understand. I don't work on a baby brand we look after for that very reason. It was like that towards the end of last year in my office, we had 5 pregnant ladies and 3 men. Nobody is at the moment and I'm waiting for the bomb to go off and them all to come back off mat leave. Urgh.

I just had a moment on the tram home. Have my thyroid appointment in an hour so did a half day. Very drunk couple got on tram. Stunk of cigarettes and beer. Woman obviously pregnant. Man says "when we have our daughter, when we have our baby, our little girl, when we go to court" I could even think straight. He then proceeded to tell her to tell the court she's been good with everything and when they get the court order they will just have to see what happens.

A real slap in the face. Don't really know how I feel about it. Just desperately sad. I'm going out tonight for food, a good appointment and food might make me forget about that poor baby.

Just in case anyone's interested, for my age (36) and clinic (Lister), Access Fertility's refund programme is as follows:

3 cycles (IVF, ICSI is more)
£10,900 for 50% refund if no live birth after 3 cycles
£12,950 for 70% refund
£12,950 for 100% refund (more of a difference between 70 and 100% for ICSI)
_
2 cycles _
£9,850 for 50% refund, no 70% or 100% options.

This doesn't include medications, initial consultation and investigative tests. Frozen embryo transfers are included in the fresh cycle. They also offer financing to cover the cost.

The gamble (and obviously how they make their money) is you lose the money and pay over the odds for one cycle if you're lucky first time.

Wish I'd known this was available before I was one failed cycle down! Going to talk to DH about it tonight - the way I see it is we either get a baby (win) or we get our money back if we don't instead of ending up with no baby and no money after three failed cycles.

Sorry for long complicated post - just thought others may be interested!