TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

Feeling despondent myself today. Tomorrow is a month since I had ERPC. Last Thursday was 4 weeks since we found out there was no heartbeat. All the time dreading my first October due date.
Plus have had trouble at work, had a colleague say 'oh she's tired, you'll know when you're pregnant' She knows too, this person. Plus relentlessly talking about said colleagues pregnancy to the point where my lovely colleague came & apologised not her fault at all! Bless her. She said 'why does she keep fucking going on? She doesn't know when to stop!'. Annoying colleague then apologised to me later because my manager stepped in.
I feel like a pariah (right word?!) I find it very difficult to hear certain conversations but I hate the thought of anyone feeling awkward around me! It makes me die inside! But it upsets me so much I don't want them to talk about it

Am I going mad?

Yellow I get it about now wanting to hear certain conversations but not wanting to be excluded either or people feeling like the can't mention the word "baby".

it's a horrid situation! I've been there many times. Crying to my husband because all anyone goes on about is pregnancy and babies, and also crying because I'm worried I'm making friends feel awkward.

Yellow, I couldn't have said that better myself. I feel exactly the same. I don't want to be left out of friend's pregnancies by them avoiding me but at the same time, I don't need it shoved down my throat. I guess it's all normal. It's ok to feel all these things. And your stupid colleague clearly does need to shut the eff up!

Sorry to those that are also having a tough day x

I feel exactly the same. A lovely work colleague for pregnant the same time I did. She's so happy and I want her to be happy and not to feel like she's not able to share that with me. But at the same time yes it does hurt a bit. Then I feel bad about it.

Nah I don't have any OPKS. My ovulation day is variable, anything from 13 to 19 apparently but more often 14-17ish.

Well if I assume the latest possible day I'll either be surprised or pleased anyway.

So I took your advice ladies. Thank you for being so lovely after my melt down! The FRER was with fmu but the tiniest amount because I'd been weeing all night to check spotting, and then the CB was taken in the afternoon. The symptoms are concerning me slightly as I've had them for 3 weeks now and I'm worried it's twins again but I'm trying to accept that whatever will be, will be.

The spotting from last night slowed to very light brown by the morning and has gone now. I'm trying to view this as good news whatever the outcome - I'll either get a baby this time or (it definitely feels more likely) I will miscarry again but will then be referred to the rmc. I'm also not treating this as getting a baby, just that I'm pregnant today. I'm also not going anywhere if you all don't mind? Certainly not for the foreseeable.

Lime, how are you doing today?

Emvy! Wow you knew it! A positive is good! We can only take each day at a time and hope for a good outcome. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

I do know why you are nervous. I get the twin thing too. I'm dreading the thought of twins again. I pray for just one this time. As lovely as twins would be I would just feel doomed from the start like last time.

Lime - wow!!! Congratulations .... get to epu as soon as you need ? Can you walk in where you are?

Oh god sorry in my excitement ... meant emvy... lime hugs regardless.

I'm doing ok apart from my expensive testing habit... yes the lines still there. I don't know why I do it to myself. I know a strong line or 500 positive tests doesn't equal a baby all the time. I'm so silly!

Counting down the minutes til tomorrow 3pm!

I lost twins last time and just half of them this time... still processing it but it is mind fucking to even think about it.

Today I am mad as a mad person as dm told my grandad the news ... I wanted to wait and tell him myself. He is thrilled but I feel so hurt she did it. She is so selfish sometimes. Basically divorcing at the moment and wanted to share some happy news ( divorce has been 2 years so far) I asked her or to tell anyone too. So never even considered how I am feeling so anxious and want the 12 week scan and to tell him. Agh. Actually spent hours crying today over it- I barely cried with my
Mc so crying is not something I do.

Rant over but wow I am furious!

@emvy - almost impossible, I know, but try to stay as calm and positive as you can. It is completely possible that all is well in there! I don't know if positive thinking really helps at all, but I can't help but feel it just might...and it certainly can't hurt!

@yellowfrontdoor - definitely understand your feelings. I had to admit to my OH that I almost find myself physically recoiling from pregnant women because it hurts so much...and yet also hate the idea that my best chum might well be pregnant now and not telling me. 😕

@Stuckinstressville I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to be annoyed about at all. I would be furious too. If you wanted to tell people early, I'd completely understand (I think we might tell people straight next time(assuming there is a next time), just so that if we do miscarry again at least people are aware). But as it is, if you decided not to tell people and someone took matters into their own hands and blabbed, I think you've every right to be furious.

x

I know think she is tempting fate. I normally have the erpc at 10weeks or 11... so until I get pass that? Grrr. Anxiety is also sky rocketing as was put on steroids which make me shake like a junky.

Emvy congratulations on the positive tests I've got all my fingers crossed for you that this is a sticky one 🙂 can you get an epu appointment for an early scan?
Lime good luck for tomorrow!!
I had a scan on Monday.. Heartbeat and measuring 7+3 and doc said as far as he could see it all looked good and as it should so doing my best to stay calm and honestly just not think too much...
Im working with special needs pre school kids this week on a summer scheme and as much as I love them I'm incredibly cautious as they just throw themselves on top of me at times/ hit, kick and throw things.. they mean no harm (most of them) but I find myself truly knackered by the end of the day!!

Emvy congratulations, I'll be keeping it all crossed for you.

Also your nails look lovely slight derail!

Stuck ugh. Sometimes people mothers! cant help themselves. on your behalf.

emvy congratulations. I hope it's a super-sticky one. Today, you are pregnant. (and I agree with yellow about your nails)

smurf that also sounds excellent. Again, today, you are pregnant.

Thanks everyone. Trying to remain positive and try not to think about it too much.

Great news on your positive scan smurf! Small steps and little positives to cling on to I can't get an early scan with EPU I don't think. With my last miscarriage they were reluctant to scan and only did so in the end because I had hip pain! So I highly doubt I'll get a reassurance scan. OH and I discussed it last time and he eventually agreed to one between 8 and 10 weeks privately, which we never made it to. And this time around, I'm not so sure whether I want any false hope if I see a heartbeat and then it stops. I'll probably change my mind tomorrow...!

Stuck, you mentioned cervical ectropian. Never heard of this! What is it and how can I get it investigated? Also, not unreasonable at all to be annoyed - have you spoken to her about how upset your are? It's a shame when people take things into their own hands! As if you don't feel out of control enough as it is!

Thanks for the compliment my nails yellow 💁🏼 Nice gels are a fave of mine

And thanks also em! Missed your post sorry x

Congratulations em! That's a nice positive line :) fingers crossed this one works for you!

Em it is just a touch of extra cells that slough off after sex or mid cycle at the opening of your cervix. They found mine before I was pregnant as I kept spotting - thinking speculum and headlights on a gp ... a gyny then used silver nitrate to remove. Not harmful just annoying. But can't do much if pregnant. Sometimes
Progesterone makes it worse....

Smurf totally missed your post! Congratulations on your scan! Today, you are pregnant

Interesting stuck, thanks for the heads up on that. I did used to get occasional spotting mid cycle when on the pill. Once I came off, I naively didn't think I needed to track my cycle so I can't say for sure if it continued. Since ttc I've either been pregnant or miscarrying so had spotting here and there regularly! I also get lots of spotting pre and post af, would it cause that too or not really?

Aww, bit late to the party but congrats, emvy, that is absolutely brilliant news.

And so glad to hear your scan went well, smurf. Smiles all round x

Congratulations emvy that's great news!
Congrats on the positive scan smurf!
*
Stuck* that's really annoying. My MIL was the same;telling people when we asked her not too. You've every right to be furious!