We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Ekphrasis I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know all the other ladies have said already, but absolutely don't force yourself into work if it's bad.

Spotting has got worse throughout the day for me. So I think this is going to end badly. Just starting to get cramps. I feel like an idiot for testing... if I hadn't have tested this morning this would just be AF. Instead, I had all of 8 hours of hope.

Anne I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It's so hard. I hope tomorrow is a kinder day for you.

What was your history starship? So sorry, I've lost track a bit.

I know exactly what you mean. My longest was to 12 week scan when they found mmc last November. I loved being pregnant. It was sweaty, spotty, chubby but wonderful

But it was immediately on the heels of an early mc, I never got af between them, so was a bit worried to start with. Didn't occur to us the scan would turn into a nightmare.

So I've never had a happy scan. Ended with a few shit ones dealing with the mmc.

I can't imagine the pain of a loss once you've seen the heartbeat, but I'd give a lot to have that experience.

With the next one, whenever it is, we'll get scans every fortnight from 6-12 weeks under the RMC which is something.

Hi step, god that's a lot to go through. Incredibly sorry for your losses.

You're welcome here x

I hope coventry are looking after you. Were you referred by your GP?

dancing What a fucker if it's all going wrong xxx

How incredibly disappointing. I'm going to stop you from saying it was daft to test though. It's what we do my love. Ttc requires a certain amount of testing, it's what you have to do.

I've never seen my gp at all through ttc and my mc. Everything was handled by the EPU. Do I just go and say I've had an early miscarriage and want it in my medical records?

Welcome step.

Dancing and Ek, I'm so sorry. Ek, a positive test means you were pregnant and they really should be recording it on your notes as a mc. Keep on at them and as others said, maybe speak to someone else? Also, take the day off! As a teacher myself I know all too well the amount of energy that you need to put into your day - just rest, your body and mind will need it. Dancing, I understand you're cross with yourself for testing but there was no reason you shouldn't have tested! Hugs to you both x

Lime, bloody hell, they really are being spectacularly awful, I'm so sorry. Just be aware though, private practice's are notorious for giving different diagnoses than NHS. It happens all the time unfortunately. In fact, today someone was explaining how (completely unrelated to ttc, babies, mc!) when she wasn't getting answers from the NHS she paid private, walked in to the same doctor who had been crap on the NHS with her a few years before now working privately who gave a diagnosis, then when she went back to the gp a few months later, she was told it was all rubbish. So it's not always that way round. I'm really disappointed in the attitude of the staff you've seen - that has nothing to do with cuts and funding difficulties. That's just people being arses. I really hope you get some supportive medical staff soon.

Everyone else - positive vibes and sunshine your way! Struggling to keep up this week sorry! x

Thank you Anne. I was referred to the RMC by my doctor but I had to ask her to do it. I bizarrely ended up somehow referred there and also to a gynaecologist at Warwick. I'm 40 so everyone seems keen to stress that 50% of my eggs are therefore now faulty. Which is a great help.

Dancing so sorry to hear. That happened to me - found out I was pregnant one day and started miscarrying the next. I think you'd know it wasn't a normal period though. Hope you are as ok as you can be x

Hi step and thanks. Forgot to update on the 40 thread!

Sorry dancing. Don't feel
Stupid! I've been lulled into a false sense of things as I have had very early bfps before. But they do happen! My ds was one.

I'm taking to tomorrow off. I'm feeling suddenly very low.

So sorry to here his dancing! I agree with Anne, we all would have tested and would again tomorrow! You can't stop yourself when ttc- I looked like a crazy women grabbing first response in shops today even though I don't think we have been lucky throw month.

Anne I had 6 week mc before my dd, who is now 3 1/2- have now been ttc for two years, had two mmc one picked up at 12 week scan and the second at extra 10 week scan (had seen the heart beat of this one at 8 weeks and really thought we'd be ok- that one has been the toughest) and then 2 at 6 weeks. Lucky to have my ds, but surrounded by so many second time mums is so hard.

Welcome step-sorry to hear of your losses.

Dancing - have you seen a consultant at the Epu or in appointment - I couldn't face the trauma of epu last time, so actually just phoned the consultant when I was feeling up to it and asked him to put it on my notes (spoke with his secretary) they'd already referred me to rmc

Sorry should say ds above- not very good with all the abbreviations yet 😂

Ekphrasis that makes me really sad. Please be kind to yourself. Hugs.

Dancing I was keen to get my doctor to record all my miscarriages because after 3 I knew I could get referred to the RMC for tests. I've got a feeling there's something going on.

Thank you, emvy, thank you all for your welcome x

Thank you, Starshine, too!

I'm ok step thank you!

Should I be contacting epu??? I go to gp simply as I have to sort out thyroxine meds when pregnant. it's taken a lot of convincing for her to agree. Pisses me off as I went through all that with my ds at another gps. To be fair, for some reason the gp thought I'd had another mc and seemed to be asking about the 3rd loss thing. So if it happens again I guess I may get a referral or something?

Yep, 3 is the magic number for a referral on the NHS. BUT the RMC at Coventry will see you after 2 so it's worth talking to your GP if you think they will be receptive. My understanding is that there are 3 leading centres: at Coventry, St. Mary's in London and Epsom in Surrey. In fact you can see the consultant privately at Epsom. Cov you can only go through the NHS.

This is why I chose my username

Oh ok thanks. I'm absolutely no where near any of those places but maybe something will happen. Is that the case if you have a child and are over 40?

I don't think your age or the number of children you already have makes a difference (I've got a 2 year old dd and turned 40 last September). And I think you can be referred to any of the RMCs from anywhere in the country. Just depends if you can be arsed to travel... x

Hi.... sorry not sure how to join in?

Had an MVA at the end of march and due to ongoing things only just been given the green light to TTC again today!!! Strange feeling at first isn't it...

Hello, can I join please? I've been lurking for months now (sorry, crazy stalker lady here). I've had two mc this year - one in Jan at 12 weeks, just before dating scan, and one nearly a month ago, at 8 weeks, two weeks after being told the gestational sac was measuring behind. Both times there has been a heartbeat, and both times we've been reassured all will be fine... only for it not to be. If I wasn't cynical/anxious before, I am now. Obviously really wish I wasn't back here, but I find the chat here so encouraging and supportive. I think you are all amazing.

Lime so sorry to hear about what you are going through. The NHS have been awful with my situation too... I've actually gone private for a consultation because after however many scans they still couldn't tell me what was going on even though "things weren't right" and "something is still there" but "that wasn't a conversation I could have with them" at that point. Still waiting on an appointment to be seen by someone at the hospital, but it was impacting on my mental wellbeing so I went private. Can't really afford to but I was losing hope.

Jen hi I was also reassured at 5/6 weeks we saw a heartbeat :( I'm not sure if it's better or worse we saw that

Hi possibiliTea So sorry you're in this boat too. I agree, don't know whether it's better or worse to see it. Just one more thing that gets your hopes up, I suppose.

Also sorry you're having a hard time lime I could rant for a v long time about NHS rubbishness in all this (don't get me wrong, NHS has also been brilliant at times, but...) fwiw I had a large cyst they were worried about after my last mc, and did a tumour-mrker blood test etc, had referral this week (after lots of chasing...) and cyst had gone completely. It is very common apparently in women pre-menopause, if it makes you any less worried.

Welcome to the new people! This is a very supportive group.

Thanks for reassurance about cyst. Just going to wait and see what happens. Hopefully mine will go soon too.

Re conversation about the heartbeat, I also saw two healthy heartbeats at 7 weeks. After 1st twin died, I remember being told I had a "90 recent chance other would be ok"... well in reality twin two must have died later that day because it didn't really grow much following my scan. Sigh, you just can never tell! If I get pregnant again I just think I'll be anxious the whole time.

Sorry others have had issues with NHS too. It really is a lottery! Some epus sound great. It makes a shit situation even worse when they are not helpful.

Hi ladies. I think I'm in the right place.. someone on a previous thread I'd started suggested I join this thread.

I mc in March, or rather that's when he found out (@ 12 wk scan) and D&C in April. Bleeding and cycles have been so erratic since then. Currently on what I think is my second af since the D&C (difficult to work out what's af and what's just random bleeding! 😩), and it's day 24 of constant bleeding. I got a + opk about ten days ago (who knows why I even bothered testing that day), but no chance to do anything about it since the bleeding is way too heavy to even think about ttc.

Gp just says keep an eye on it.

Really want to start ttc again, but evidently my uterus has other ideas. ☹️

Those of you who've been through this, would you mind saying how long your first couple of af were after mc?

xx

For me seeing the heartbeat made it so much harder second time around... I hadn't let myself believe it was real until we saw that little heartbeat at 6weeks 0days and told it was strong and beating away. I came away so so happy that day. This scan was after a small spot of bleeding. 1 week later we were back for a reassurance scan.... To again be faced with silence and then finally told the heart had slowed down 2 more days and it had stopped.. I am pleased that I actually have scan pictures of this one but it was incredibly difficult to see that there had been a hb and then it just stopped!
Dancing im so sorry! We all would have tested.. With my "chemical" I only found out when I did the test 10 days later when I was still bleeding and just knew it wasn't like af normally..
Sorry for all the new people here..

I'm definitely being a HT today. Spotting doesn't seem to have got any worse, and my temp is actually rising. Which all could mean nothing, but I'm going to let myself see saw between HT and gutted today!

Sorry again, to see new people. Hi Tea. How are you doing? I'm sorry things are not back to normal for you Rachel.

Did you decide to test this morning Anne?

Hi, hope its ok to join? I've also been lurking since I had a tfmr at the end of February...
We decided to go for a second at the end of November (my daughter is 2 and a half) and I came off the pill - we were lucky enough to get pregnant immediately and everything seemed to go perfectly - heartbeat seen at scans at 7 and 10 weeks...
Unfortunately we then got told that the Harmony test was positive for Edwards syndrome and we took the horrific decision to have a termination at nearly 12 weeks. It was honestly the worst experience of my life, having what is essentially an abortion for a much wanted baby and I still can't talk about it without crying 😢
After two completely fucked up cycles in which I don't think I ovulated we have just started trying again and my head is all over the place...
I know it's not the same as repeated losses but I hope I can stay here for the tww and chat with you all - you're all amazing!