We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Keeping everything crossed for you @dancing and @anne!
My miscarriage bleeding has now stopped (only 6 days of it in total which makes me worried something maybe left behind) but am relieved is over and can charge on into another cycle of ttc! If last cycle is anything to go by I should ov next week - dh keen to get back to it too! I saw my counsellor that I have been seeing through all of this this am and told her I'm worried because this hasn't hit me as hard as the first two times - she was so lovely and reassuring and told me it is because I have developed resilience and tools in my box to cope! Which I suppose I have ?
Am now focusing on my 10k run to raise money for the counselling charity on 9th July! Have just bought one of those running rucksacks with a straw to drink from - but can't make the water come out! So there is my challenge before I do my 8k run this eve!!!!

Welcome to the new ladies, sorry you find yourselves here.

I went to gp today. I asked: what is this bleeding 4 weeks on from my surgical management? When can I roughly expect my period? Can I exercise with this going on and the added worry of a cyst?

The gp was useless. At one point I started crying. Since April 26 I've had a handful of days where I have not had to wear a pad! He could barely force himself to say "sorry for your loss". This miscarriage has cost loads when I think about it: 5 million pads, 8000 pregnancy tests, 3 private scans because the epu are so shit, petrol to the hospital!

I have lost all trust in the NHS. The only person I trust is the private scan lady I pay! Honestly, if miscarriage happens to x percent of people you would think Drs should know the answers to basic questions? And show a teeny bit of empathy! Offer counselling or a tissue to a crying lady.

@Lime19 "what is this bleeding 4 weeks on from my surgical management? "

I think it's your period - ? mine started exactly 30 days after mc completed. Sorry you are having a shitty time x

conker, glad the bleeding has stopped and best of luck with the 10k (and the training).

Lime, I'm so sorry, you sound like you have had an absolutely horrific time. I had A LOT of bleeding too if it's any consolation. The MC bleeding took about 3/4 weeks and then a break of a few days and then my first period late about 3 weeks. I was really worried too but it did go away in the end and i seem to be back to normal (MC was 5 months ago). GP just said it can the a while for your body to regulate itself again. She said if it was retained products, they would really smell and you would be likely to have pain in your stomach. She wasn't going to see me until i cried on the phone. I had never been to EPU when i MC'd so was slightly concerned no one had ever seen me. I know out histories are not identical but i suspect it's as Grumpy says, AF on the back of all the MC bleeding. Keeping fingers crossed things get better for you very soon.

Oops I lost you all. Well here's my update. Went to gynecologist today and said we've been trying for a while so what happens next? Apparently as I had a miscarriage in September, they wait 2 months after that for a regular cycle, and then a year after that to investigate anything so we're looking at December/January really. Then she did a smear and breast exam and said everything seems normal and asked questions about my other pregnancy and!! Finally understood what I was saying with the translocation thing. So we have a referral to the geneticist. Yay. I phoned them and they were extremely helpful but their waiting list is six months. So that is also booked for January. DH can also book in for a "Spermiogramm" (I resisted the temptation to ask if it was like a stripogram) but he has to find a urologist first. However he's up for that so I think we're just going to chuck everything at this basically.

In other news I'm 9dpo and have enormous boobs but I expect it's water retention. Who knows?

I wish it was my af but sadly it's not. It's old and brown. My lining was only very thin on my scan on Thursday so it needs more time to build up

Bertie, seems like you are getting somewhere.

It's funny, before I had a miscarriage, I actually thought it was like we see on soaps. A bit of blood some tears and move on. Forgotten about in a few episodes.

Little did I know it involves so much waiting around. Like months and months. So much uncertainty.

Sounds like you have some progress Bertie at least.

Gosh Lime, that really is crap, Hope you get some answers soon

Bertie I'm glad you've found us. Glad you have the makings of a plan in place, though I'm sorry it seems things are far off.

So this morning brings a faint second line. And spotting.

Sending hugs @lime - my first period offer mmc and mva in October was old brown blood for first two days before it kicked off - is there no chance it could be period?
So so sorry you are having crap
Time with the NHS! My gp was pretty rubbish when we went with this miscarriage / infection - even queried whether I was 100% certain I'd had a positive pregnancy test!!!! I cried badly at that and made dh take in a sample
Of my positive tests !!!!!! Will not be choosing him again and yes I don't think he managed a 'sorry for your loss' comment either - glad you trust your private sonographer but rubbish that you have to pay to get answers :-( - hope if this isn't af she shows her head soon and things get back to normal!
@bertie - glad you are starting to be sent in the right direction - frustrating it will take time - can you continue to ttc in between? Laughed out loud at the spermiogram / strippergram!!!!
I only managed half my run last night! Was so so hot so stopped after 4K and felt proud of myself for taking sensible decision and not pushing myself after all my body has been through !
Hope you're all ok in the heat ! Xx

Ooh Dancing, sounds promising. A faint line is still a line. I had a few days of spotting with both my pregnancies, one successful and one which ended in MC at 10/11 weeks (nothing to do with the spotting). Keeping everything crossed for you.

Yes we'll carry on shagging with intent :o

Even my heart rate is up which is a curious sign but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I would love to know by the weekend as DH's sister will be here and she's desperate for us to get pregnant so would be good to share some happy news. Also in terms of knowing whether I should drink.

Bertie, lovely to see you, and so glad you're making progress with referrals, though very frustrating it's such a long wait on both fronts. at like a strippergram. Maintaininh a good sense of humour with all of this keeps you sane x

Symptoms sound very promising, god I hope you get your BFP this cycle. What would happen about the referrals?

Dancing, a BFP?! What brilliant news! How are you feeling?

conker, I cannot believe you are running after the week you've had. I take my hat off to you.

Lime what a pile of shite, you've been treated appallingly, I'm so so sorry xxx

I was going to poas this morning, nearly fainted last night while making dinner which hasn't happened since I was last pregnant in Feb. Could just have been the heat though.

But then had a minor panic about not wanting to know so wussed out! If it is going to happen I know I need to get on the drugs asap. But I can't handle another bfn, and I can't handle the prospect of all the anxiety of actually being pregnant..... Sticking my head in the sand today.

Lime not sure if it's the same but after my ectopic I was told to expect a heavy bleed after and then a period 6-8 weeks later. I hardly had any bleeding after and scant brown spotting/light bleeding on and off before I got a period which also wasn't heavy or painful as I'd been led to expect. My limited experience is that when it comes to pregnancy loss, doctors, especially GPs don't really know because there's no follow up on women's varying experiences. Sorry you're going through this.

Sounds good Dancing! Hoping the spotting goes away.

Bertie got everything crossed for you too.

Well done on the running conker. I did two 5ks last week and a short one yesterday but Monday and today are just too hot. Definitely good to rest your body when you need to.

DH and I gave it our all, DTD cd6, 8,9,10,11,12 and 13! Think I O'd yesterday on CD13 as had some bleeding after DTD which usually kicks off after I've O'd and had a big temp drop this morning so hoping for a nice rise tomorrow. I'm really hoping this is my month. Now to try and distract myself for the next 12-13 days!

Bertie and Anne, encouraging signs for both of you, keeping everything crossed for both of you

I've got everything crossed for you Anne whenever you decide to test.

Hi so I started cramping and bleeding today. I am 4 days late. And had 6 days of positive tests. I know that's a chemical but it's not feeling like a period! It feels more like my mc.

AIBU to call in sick tomorrow? I feel like Ive barely got started.

Oh Ekphrasis! I would deffo call in sick. This miscarriage stuff has made me realise what's important in life. I would normally feel really guilty about taking time off but you got to look after yourself. I've been much better at leaving work on time and taking time off if I need it since.

Any chance it could be implantation or anything else?

By the way thanks for all your kind messages. I had a private scan today which revealed that the nhs one I had the other day was complete rubbish. It had key errors in it which makes me really mad. I actually have cysts on both ovaries. It's going to take a few months for me to get sorted I expect. I'll just wait on this board patiently whilst I wait for af and cysts to shrink.

I Have a personal training session tomorrow. Got to focus on something else to pass my time.

Sorry to hear that lime. That's a bummer. Are you booked for treatment?

I had positives from Friday till yesterday but they're weren't getting darker, yesterday's was v faint. (So 5 not 6 positives) Sunday was expected period. Today a negative.

No it's more like contractions.

I'm a bit confused. Gp isn't classing it as a pregnancy? (Had telephone conversation about thyroid medication). I know it's a 'chemical' - is that an early miscarriage?

Am I being dramatic to take tomorrow off? It's more as I suspect I had a very brief chemical last month and the 'period' was bloody awful and I had to spend an afternoon lying down I felt so faint. I can't do that with the kids I teach tomorrow!

Hi ladies, sorry I have been reading the board but not writing much. I am 8DPO, but the meds I am on give no premenstral symptoms- so I just king of feel in-woman like if that makes sense- not holding out much hope this month.

Sorry for the ekph to hear your news- sending hugs. I would take time off tomorrow too.

Fingers crossed for you Bertie and Anne - completely understand your fears Anne.

That's good going flash! Fx for you

Hope you've had no more spotting dancing and well done on the running conker!

If it helps at all lime- I had two cysts on both ovaries after my last miscarriage- both had resolved by the next scan 4 weeks later, so fx they won't hold you up too much. Good luck with the personal training session !

I'm so sorry ek. Your instincts were telling you something wasn't right but I was wishing you a sticky one

It sucks so much. 6 lines mean you've been pregnant whatever happens next. When you feel ready I'd speak to a different doctor at the practise and tell them you've had an early mc so it's on your file. Crappy care on top of this loss is too cruel.

Definitely take the day off. Please focus on looking after yourself and fuck everything else off. The last thing you need is to be cramping, in pain and bleeding in this awful heat. You keeling over in front of the kids isn't going to help anyone.

Sadly you've been here before and have an idea what to expect so take to your bed with plenty of fluids, painkillers and a book till it's over. If you feel really bad, call your EPU and get the good pills.

Thank you flash x

lime, it just gets worse! Thank god for your decent scan lady. How can you heal and mend and get properly back on your feet now? Have you got a treatment plan?

Thank you starshine x

I remember the blind panic of my BFP in Feb. We were both almost paralysed by stress and anxiety about the whole thing. The happy lasted about half an hour then we freaked out for 3 days trying to ficus on the treatment plan and then it was all over with bad second HCG result.

My panic about BFP and BFN seem equal today. I desperately want to be pregnant again, so so so much. But it means we could have another loss and life has been pretty happy and settled the last few months, despite the disappointment each month, so a BFP will be the answer to our (heathen) prayers but also like a potential bombshell of mindfreezing panic. I'm not sure "today I'm pregnant" is going to cut it! Though I do want to be pregnant.

Ffs. I've been shopping today. Pleasant distraction!

It Is just so hard Anne- I have tried ignoring pregnancies before-acting like it's not happening to shield myself, but it's always an act isn't it. Wonder what it would be like to just be pregnant, having had no miscarriages and then no complications- just enjoying the pregnancy! I really really hope this is a sticky bean for you. Wise move shopping- always a good distraction 😉

Thank you ladies.

I keep thinking this should
'just be a period?' So I'm BU. Except it really isn't! Of course it won't last as long at least.

Hi all, can I join please? Technically we're not ttc at the moment while I wait for the results from the recurrent miscarriage clinic in Coventry but planning to get on it with gusto again next month (providing they don't find anything). I've had three miscarriages in the last year, all early (6+3, 4 and 6+4) but still heart breaking (as I'm sure none of you need telling).

Ekphrasis so sorry to hear about the chemical. My doctor just treated mine as another mc. I think I actually referred to it as a chemical and she looked at me weirdly before typing 'miscarriage' on my notes. If it's the difference between you getting referred for tests or not, definitely push for them.

Take tomorrow off work. And go easy on yourself. Miscarriage is shitty whenever it happens and it won't be any fun trying to get through it at work in this heat. Big hugs.