We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Thought I would share my experience of st mary's RMC last month.

I saw Dr Geet Sarodey- she was lovely, very reassuring and knowledgable. She said she thinks APS is a common cause of RMC. NB St Mary's do not test for Estrogen levels, they will not prescribe it either. So basically primary testing is just for clotting really. Has anyone else had hormone level testing?

They also did a thorough uterus scan.

I caught a glimse of Lesley Reagan.

The lady who takes blood there is very good (phelobotomist?).

@TheGrumpySquirrel I've never tried checking my cervix.

Do you get a few stares when you check at your desk?

Hey all, been staying off here in the hope it'll stop me symptom spotting (as if!). AF is due tomorrow, I think, and I'm absolutely shattered but that might just be the dog barking in the night and waking me up. I'll test Weds if she doesn't show.

grumpy sorry you're finding it so tough at the moment. Checking your cervix at work is pretty dedicated! I can't get the hang of it at all, I just can't find a comfortable position to fiddle about up there.

Lol yes I do at least go to the bathroom but if this goes on much longer I can't promise as much restraint! 😉

Been at yoga class tonight which has really helped my mood. I hope it's shaken things up a bit in there so at least AF might come if it's coming at all...

Yes flash - last cycle cervix was hard and rubbery (very defined and dry) before AF not soft/wet and small like it feels now.

In the irony of the year I might have a massive job opportunity on my plate this week. Come on universe. At least let me know if I'm pregnant before Thursday.

God, have had such a horrible night tonight. Went for drinks with uni friends, which quite often makes me feel like a massive failure (they all have mega bucks jobs and own swanky London property). Turns out one of them that I haven't seen in a while is eight months pregnant. This is still a real novelty in my social circle. No one talked about anything but pregnancy for most of the night. I cried in the toilets

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry. That sounds epically shit. Massive hugs x

Ah I'm sorry Lisa. It's so tough isn't it. We are always here for you.

I saw Raj Rai at St Mary's and although I have been impressed in general with their care, he lived up to his eccentric reputation and spent much of the appt talking to DH about his job and cracking slightly odd jokes which I found quite upsetting.

Their phlebotomist is indeed very good! In fact all the other staff have been great and I am sure RR knows his stuff, I just wanted the focus to be on the issue. They said I didn't have APS but do have clotting issues so have just prescribed aspirin and weight loss.

I bumped into Lesley Regan in the loo and she said hello. It was like brushing shoulders with a celebrity!

Lisa, that sounds like a really, awful shitty night. So sorry. Hope you manage to get some sleep and things look a bit brighter tomorrow. Big hug x

Another hug from me lisa, can't even imagine how awful that must have been. I'd have made my excuses and left so big credit for sticking it out. I've done a lot of crying in a lot of loos and it sucks.

I remember going to the loo in the hospital after my scan where we found out about our mmc last winter. I was crying off and on, mostly in shock, and it hit me as I was washing my hands. I doubled over and howled and a woman standing there turned to me and just threw her arms around me and held me till it passed. She didn't say a word and I just murmured thank you and walked out to DH. I'll never see her again but it meant so much.

I hope you get a good nights sleep and tomorrow feels less grim xxx

Glad yoga helped and you're feeling a bit better grumpy. I keep meaning to get back to it as I loved it for years. Really exciting about your job opportunity. Everything crossed for that and for a bfp for you.

Interesting to hear about other clinics. I wonder if I'll have been tested for APS at my rmc. Is it part of the normal bloods?

There's worryingly little out there about our guy given he's been running the clinic and protocol for 16 years. He told us in all that time he's only had 4 women not go on to have a healthy baby at the end of it. Which sounds amazing. But we have to take his word got it. A very indiscreet phlebotomist told me Natalie Cassidy had been treated there after 9 or 10 losses and he'd "cured her" but again, hardly scientific and not even sure it's true.

Something to be said for anonymity and only having friends and family talk about you, not randoms!

This is the least stressed I've been in a 2ww for ages and I put it down to my new obsession with scanning temp charts online. Soooo sad. But it's working!

Never thought it would happen grumpy but I'm a keen cervix checker as well. High and soft this week but I've been fooled by it before so agree it's not an exact science.

So hoping for some more good news on here soon x

Gah, another negative FRER. Think I'm out. Cervix now firmer and still low - bad, but glad to hear it isn't exact science. But cm still lotiony and temp still up.

Grumpy

@TheGrumpySquirrel oh no :(

@LisaSimpsonsbff you poor thing. Sounds like a horrendously shitty night. Hugs from me also.

Dreading work on Friday, but I know the longer I leave it, the worse it'll be.
On a slight positive note, although I still feel a little crampy, I didn't bleed at all overnight. Makes such a difference to your state of mind

Really sorry grumpy .

Anne I think you will have been tested for APS, as it seems to be quite a standard one - it's one of the ones that my (definitely non-expert) gynaecologist-who-deals-with-miscarriage at the hospital ordered.

Thanks so much for the kind comments! I'm feeling ok this morning, just a bit pissed off with myself. I think I was a bit rude/cold to the pregnant woman, who of course has done nothing wrong, but I was really struggling to hold it together. I was also a bit hurt that the one friend in the group who knows about my problems didn't seem to realise it might not be nice for me - she was the one asking a lot of questions about pregnancy and so prolonging the conversation, but I guess it just didn't occur to her that it would be uncomfortable for me.

Sorry people are having a shit time. I try hard to make effort to have conversation that isn't just about kids and pregnancy. You never know what happens behind closed doors. I've been part of many of those conversations when it's the last thing you want to talk about. "Great, you got pregnant on the first go, good for you" said through gritted teeth!

So my af bleeding has stopped. Yikes this is it. I guess I can try again. Feeling a little nervous. No pressure! Well actually I am feeling pressure. I want it to happen soon. Before my miscarriage we tried for 9 very long cycles.

Hugs for anyone who needs/wants one. Baby bombs and negative FRERs need to piss off!

I'm being a hopeful twat. AF due Sunday I think, nipples so sore this morning the shower water and towel were too painful. Still no spotting but creamy CM. I would love it if this were my month, but I've been here so many times that I'm trying to keep perspective. Although I am so grateful that the spotting is non-existent that that will alleviate some of the disappointment if AF does arrive this week.

lisa that's so hard, hugs from me too. Even worse when someone knows about your struggles and doesn't think about how you might feel.

grumpy it's not over till af shows. Although also not worth getting yourself too worked up if you're sure you're out.

lime glad AF has stopped. Hopefully you fall again soon

flash no harm in being an HT!

No sign of AF this morning so I'm going to nip out and get some tests at lunchtime. At which point it'll no doubt show up...

I bought FRERs yesterday hometown so I can test at the weekend. I'll pee on cheapy OPKs to stave off the urge to test early.

Got everything crossed for you.

I even get baby bombs in my dreams now Thanks brain???

DH is eyeing up my boobs and asking when we can test. Sigh. He's worse than I am these days (I'm sure it's just the heat). 10dpo.

Nothing wrong with that flash x And very positive on no spotting. Do you normally get sore boobs/nipples before af or only pregnancy?

Since my previous pregnancy I've never known anything as bad as my last cycle, my god they were HUGE. And so so sore. So now they're inflating again and are super tender it makes me think af will come, not a bfp. If it's not a normal symptom for you then I'd say that's very promising.

Great news it's stopped lime! Totally normal to feel a bit anxious about it. Lots of deep breaths.

Crossing everything for you unicorn.

Do you know when you'll be officially late grumpy?

I'm feeling a bit bleurgh today. Tired, vacant, bit groggy. Temp has dropped the last 2 days, which may or mat not mean anything, but it's nothing like the lovely pregnancy charts I was looking at yesterday

Bertie So, when are you testing?

I'm 10DPO as well. When are you due?

grumpy and lisa hugs x

anne yes I think APS is a standard test, that's the one they do 6 weeks apart I think

Nothing called APS on my results. Stuff about coagulation, lupus etc is all there and clear. And I only had one set of bloods....

I sent to a family friend in Oz who said they looked comprehensive and thankfully clear, but weird all the same.

How are you mulder?

I normally get sore breasts, but it was the water on the nipples this morning nearly made me leap out the bathtub.

My pregnancy cycle I had majorly sore nipples. But I don't know if the Agnus Castus will also have an effect of PMS symptoms etc, particularly if my spotting was a progesterone issue and progesterone is now higher so I have to keep thinking it could just be the Agnus Castus. Ditto with the CM, normally I'm dry at this point apart from the spotting. But we shall see. I'm not due until Sunday, so will probably test Sunday morning if no sign of AF. It's so hard to wait!

Anne, yes, APS is one of the standard tests for recurrent miscarriage. Think it was just a one-off blood test for me though.

Fingers crossed for all of you waiting to test. Hoping for some BFPs.

My cbop is confusing me. Assumed I was meant to start dtd as soon as I got a high reading. Am now on day 5 of high and no peak (cd13). Am thinking with this unfussy womb theory I should have waited until I get a peak? Obsessive Googling seems to confirm that. Thankfully only dtd once as now worried I've set myself up to miscarry if I do get pregnant. Obviously unlikely that I will be as presumably not actually ovulated yet? Aggh. Why is this so complicated?!