We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

It took me seven months to get my first BFP so I had that in my head as how long it would take me to get pregnant again. What I didn't anticipate was falling three cycles in a row and losing them all. It sometimes feels like one of those stories with a malevolent genie that makes you phrase your wishes just right or he punishes you for it. I should have wished for a baby, but I stupidly just wished to get pregnant instead...

@emvy my first af post mc was like that - only 2 days, brown and lumpy. Think it's normal - glad you didn't have to wait too long for it

Sorry if that came across insensitive- I mean some people have to wait months for cycle to come back at all

Lisa - we're all guilty of thinking like that x

Grumpy, not at all thank you. That's exactly why I asked really - I was lucky to get it back bang on time after the first mc and it be relatively normal, so was pondering that it could not be that simple this time around! It's good to know that i'm not alone in experiencing a first af like this.

God lisa, soooo much. Can't tell you how comforting it is to know other people get it. Though of course I wish they didn't! Complicated...

Took us 7 months to get a bfp then caught 3 times in a row. What a fucking hear fuck. I feel like I've dirt all my bfp luck up. Then I put my rational head on and there's no logic to any of it. But I hear you, so very much. Let's hope our darkest fears are just that!

Thanks emvy

My cycles have definitely been different since mcs and it's so unnerving. You've had a bfn? Af might come back again. Otherwise old blood is okay and I've had some clots pass in afs bigger than stuff in mcs. It scared the shit out of me but the pain hasn't been scary and nothing has been wrong. But, talk to the epu or your GP if you're worried x

Lisa I was similar - a year to conceive DS and then less than 3 months to conceive all my mc, some in just a month. I am hugely grateful to have DS though of course.

Really struggling with hearing my sister complaining about her DC2 - she says things like "you can have him" when I said he had a lovely smile. She had 2 mc so you'd think she would have some sensitivity. Of course having a baby is never easy and I don't expect her to pretend life is perfect all the time but still.

On the subject of AFs mine have always been weird after mc - either clotty and heavy with flooding or barely there and brown.

As you say, Anne - it's both shit and comforting to know that other people feel like this! I'm convinced that 'you're more fertile after a miscarriage' is true for me (I know it isn't for everyone) which is one reason I resent waiting for the testing, even though I know it's ultimately for the best. Queuing to have my blood taken for day 2 tests at the moment - they open at 7, and wasn't expecting to get here to find a long queue already here!

Yeah, I've had a bfn Anne. Thanks for all your responses, I guess it is my af then (very reassuring), and just a bit of a weird one. I'll take that!

MsJuniper, that's rubbish a friend of mine behaves very similarly even though she's also had a mc. She constantly says things like, "Just wait until you have kids." Well yeah, I'd quite like to know actually! She makes it sounds like having kids is just a pain in the bum, which I'm sure it is sometimes, but I'd like to figure that out for myself please!

Lisa, wow that's early for everyone to be queuing! Hope you're not queuing for long and it all goes well x

I'm so pissed off with myself. I went and bought a 2 pack of FRER thinking I'll use one tomorrow and keep one spare. Well got to work and wee not that dilute so thought I'd use one. Clear BFN. Such a waste of money. Reckon I just need to wait for AF now as I think a FRER should show something at this point! Temp hasn't dipped yet but I guess that only happens the day of AF. I'm in a seriously bad mood 😩

Sorry grumpy. It sucks doesn't it. I'm sorry you are getting negatives. But you're not out until AF arrives so maybe try to relax the next few days and stop tracking if you're getting too upset? What cycle is this for you?

AF arrived late Saturday. So I managed another 25 day cycle. I'm going to try temping again next cycle and OPK. They might give me an idea of what's going on. I have a feeling I'm ovulating earlier than I think. Haven't tracked since last year!!

This is my second cycle post MC. I've put a lot of pressure on myself because it's really inconvenient for work if I get pregnant any later than this. And I'm still angry that I lost my baby in May. I feel like I shouldn't be having to even try now, because I should have been 19 weeks yesterday

I'm really sorry, grumpy - it is so rubbish, and you're allowed to be frustrated, disappointed and angry. Be really kind to yourself today and let yourself be in a bad mood if that's how you're feeling.

I'm sorry Grumpy. Just let yourself have a bad day & hope you feel better soon.

Wow someone else in my office just announced their pregnancy. This is like the third in a month. What a fucking shit day

Oh grumpy. I know that feeling so well. It's shit. Under normal circumstances I'd be super happy for others but any news of that nature right now makes me want to shout and cry until snot bubbles come out of my nose and my face goes all blotchy.

Really sorry grumpy. Wish there was a definitive answer for you. The limbo is the worst.

I'm feeling quite happy this cycle, I started taking Agnus Castus just after AF finished, and I'm now 6 dpo I think and I have had no spotting. For the first time in 17 months! I think I OVd on CD 10 and only DTD CD7 and 8, so not hopeful for a BFP but it is such a relief not to worry about what knickers I've got on 3 weeks out of the month!

Ah that sucks grumpy on both counts. Pregnancy announcements are the worst. I am not good at coping with others' pregnancies although it's not as bad once the baby arrives weirdly. Just find the announcements and bumps really painful.

There is one woman I see in the park sometimes and I heard her telling her friend she was 6 weeks pregnant at the same time I was before my first mc. Now when I see her with her baby I get irrationally angry. I've never even spoken to her!

I use the internet cheapy opks and hpts. It means I can test as much as I like and torture myself with imaginary lines. I'm not sure it's a better option than buying proper tests but it has saved some money over the years.

Ah Grumpy you probably need to take the pressure off. Too much and you'll explode. If I'd have known I was still trying to have a baby 4 yrs after we first decided to TTC I think I'd have probably laughed. Loudly. You can't keep putting pressure on yourself or you'll end up in a constant state of misery. And nobody wants to live like that. Sending massive hugs.

I still have all my fingers and toes crossed for you, but don't be too hard on yourself if it's a no, it's still early days past your MC and you are still grieving. If it's any consolation, it does get easier if you let it. I'm almost coming to my due date and that's when I'll probably have a massive wobble. But until then, I have to be thankful that I have the love and support of DH.

Hi Ladies, I was very briefly on this board a while back after my miscarriage and was extremely fortunate to get my BFP before the first AF arrived. You ladies are awesome and I'm silently watching this thread hoping for some more extremely well deserved BFPs.

I have a bag of agnus castus pills I got from Amazon (only supplement I took before my BFPs) and wondered if anyone would want them. Otherwise were moving house and want to clear out so they'll be chucked.

If anyone is interested please DM me and I'll pop them in the post :) they're in date and everything.

I hope you don't think I'm being insensitive, I just thought they might give someone else some luck!

Fingers crossed for you all and thanks again for all the support I had. It was amazing!

88claire I'd love them. Have just started taking them and they're working! I'll PM you. If someone else on here really wants them too I do already have some so happy to be second choice.

Flash

No worries send me a message. I'm on holiday for a week but I'll get them off to you after that. Just glad they're not being wasted!

Thank you all for your comments. I am feeling less crazy angry this afternoon and working on mentally accepting either outcome!! It's so hard to do.

In the meantime still no sign of AF and although cervix is low it is wet and soft with lotiony cm. got to stop checking it at work 😳

I hope you at least go to the loo grumpy 😉

I have never got the hang of cervix checking.

grumpy I'm pretty sure that cervix position can stay low even if you are pregnant. It doesn't always go high straight away. Soft and CAM sounds good. I have the same, but only 6 dpo so too early to.mean anything for me.

emvy ive had exactly that before, then more bleeding 2 days later, not sure of the scientific reason but very normal i would say - not very nice though!

grumpy sorry to hear about all the announcements xx still no AF for you though so sending positive thoughts.

Im in the 2ww and imagining symptoms as per usual. The have to meet a friend's new baby on saturday blegh!