We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Hi everyone, I posted a while ago but was struggling so didn't post again. I have a DS age 4 but had 6 mc since and having investigations at St Mary's RMC. Just turned 41 so feeling like time is not on my side.

I had an endometrial scratch last month which is supposed to improve chance of successful pregnancy, so we have done all we can to help that come true - plenty of vits, opks and dtd! Strongest opk was unfortunately the day before a day we didn't dtd but still hoping we caught it.

Grumpy I have stared at a lot of hpts and I think I can see the hint of a line. Unfortunately all you can do is wait and test again and hopefully it will get stronger.

I really struggled with temping so haven't tried recently. It's so hard to catch it at the right moment and I spent many nights needing a wee but not wanting to get out of bed in case it affected my chart! I saw those Ovusense things advertised but I don't know, I think I would rather just have a general idea of when ov is and dtd as much as possible.

Water anniversaries are hard. My edd for mc#1 was midsummer day and now I mark all my lost pregnancies on that date. That first mc baby would have been 2 this year and sometimes I feel its presence just out of sight (I don't mean in a ghostly way, just I can imagine it playing with DS, being part of our lives).

I'm about 80% certain I see a very faint line, @thegrumpysquirrel! Do you think you can see something in person? I've never had much success photographing squinters. Fingers crossed for the next one...

I got my first AF after the latest miscarriage this morning. Feels funny - the first one I haven't been sad about it a long time! Though I am a bit annoyed with my body because I'd really like to be able to do my first Coventry test in August, which means I need to be two months past miscarriage by 7dpo, and I suspect I'll be just a few days too early for that...

Welcome, water, sorry you have to be here and sorry you are having a tough time. I just passed my EDD from my first miscarriage too and it was difficult. No need to apologise for being miserable - we've all been there!

Grumpy, I can't see anything but I find those tests really difficult to read anyway. Still keeping fingers and toes crossed for you x

I had to strengthen the colour contrast to make it show up in photo. In person it's too faint to tell if it's in my head! Have chucked the test now, so cba to go back and take it apart, it won't be definitive and I'll just be torturing myself further!

Welcome MsJuniper too. Sorry for your losses but we're a supportive bunch here. I'm 41 in September and there are a few of us nearing or over 40 so you're in good company. If it helps, Dr Robert Winston (IVF pioneer) recently came out to say women are fertile well into their mid 40s so less need to panic. Before modern contraception the average age women had their last child was 42 x

Don't torture yourself, Grumpy, go and do something you really love doing today to take your mind off it. We're all here for you if you need us x

Hello to the newbies, sorry you're having a hard time. I'm dreading reaching my two due dates.
And it's hard not to panic when all you hear is how your fertility 'dives off of a cliff' after 35, although there's more & more research to say this isn't the case.

Grumpy I feel as though there's a squinter on the second frer. I'm still hopeful & keeping it all crossed!

Ah thank you stepaway and yellow, that is really positive. I did have a fertility MOT at Create and my results were fairly good "for my age". I have put on a lot of weight since the first mc so I am also battling that, but lost 2st since Feb.

Will be watching this space tomorrow morning grumpy!

Welcome to all the newbies .

Grumpy Sorry, I can't see anything on that test. It's so frustrating when you just can't tell if it's a line or your eyes. Everything crossed for you though!

I'm also in the 'shag as much as possible' camp. I haven't got the patience for OPKs or temping.

First post mc af arrived this morning. Without warning!!! No symptoms at all, (aside from wanting to murder OH all weekend), then went to the loo this morning and had quite a shock! My body is making up for lack of symptoms now though, but a sleeping toddler is as good as any hot water bottle.

Feeling very positive though, but don't want to start ttc until I have my Thrombophilia blood test results back. And we still have to have a consultants appointment to hear the results (if any) of the post mortem. I'll be lurking around for a little while yet I think!

I'm so sorry for all your losses juniper. It sounds like you've had such an unfairly hard time of it. I really hope St Mary's can help you.

Woke up this morning feeling good, but has gone downhill from there! Went to church with DH (he believes, I'm agnostic but I quite like going with him sometimes). Because it was the last one before the school summer holidays they had some sort of Sunday school special, with the kids singing a song to us all, so it was about 80% young families. At one point whispered to DH through gritted teeth 'this is like some sort of fucking fertility festival', which wasn't really appropriate for a church... Got a bit teary at one point - hopefully people thought I was moved by the spirit! Feel a bit sad and broken - some days I feel like it'll never happen for us. I know it's still early days really, though - we've only been trying a year - and trying to push that thought down.

@LisaSimpsonsbff oh no, we were debating going to a national trust place today but I made up an excuse not to go for the very same reason.... every second woman is frigging preggers or pushing a buggy, Dads wearing slings etc! It's so hard isn't it?
I've decided to cook a big roast so my day will be as thus: sling on clothes as close to pjs as is decent, scrape back hair, forgo make up. Shop, get home. Change back into pjs, cook & eat until nauseous. Finish off with a nice hot bath.

Yellow sounds excellent we are doing the same. I'm in basically in my pjs feeling sorry for myself because my period is being an achey reminding bitch but looking forward to a roast and tv slump later. I'm thinking august has to be my lucky month...I so desperately (like us all I know) want to be pregnant before my first edd which would have been late September. How quickly that has come round, I would be 28 weeks today. Why do we torture ourselves so much by remembering all these bloody dates?!

Thanks, yellow - it is so horrible feeling like you're in a world of parents and you're on the outside looking in. I'm sorry cats. I feel the same - my first would have been due on the anniversary of when DH and I started dating, which at the time was sweet, but now makes it impossible to sodding forget! In some ways I feel silly for feeling this way because mine have always been so early (which I know is very lucky), but I guess I'm mourning what could have been. Was so sad when I realised all this testing meant I couldn't get there by then. When I had my first one seemed unthinkable that I wouldn't be pregnant by November - that was such a long time away then!

Sorry @TheGrumpySquirrel I can't see a line but I am blind and have never been good at these. I hope it works out for you.

@yellowfrontdoor that was my plan today but it didn't go as planned. I attempted to go do the shop and found one of my arsehole neighbours had blocked me in again!! I literally snapped. I stormed in, floods of tears, so angry I think I could've murdered someone. DH came home shortly after a ranting phone call and calmed me slightly. He helped squeeze car out of space and continued with the day.

DH since has asked what's going on because clearly that was no sane reaction. I'm not sure if it's hormones or if I'm not done grieving yet or what. But I'm shattered now.

It's almost 4 weeks since mc so I guess I could be due af any second. I've got zero symptoms except the breakdown.

I'd like a day off from life please.

I'm going insane. I either have the worst pmt ever or I'm pregnant. Obviously will feel like a prize idiot if it's just the former, but at least I won't be the first

I'm sorry you're going through this, grumpy - not surprised it's making you feel crazy! You'll have no reason to feel like an idiot if you're not pregnant - it's natural to feel like this. If only our bodies weren't so frustrating and confusing!

And blissful I think it sounds like you have legitimate cause to be annoyed, not 'just' hormones! Who blocks in someone else's car?!

To be honest, blocking in someone's car would be enough to tip most people over the edge!

Grumpy no one is going to think you're an idiot. We're all in the same boat here.

Today's been lovely, like a break from reality, although after a day of hardly any bleeding or cramps yesterday the Miscarriage Fairy decided to ramp it up again today. Talk about being lulled into a false sense of security!

Sorry discussion has moved on but my temp only ever drops on the day of AF, never before, so I've learned not to get my hopes up about it.

Implantation dips are supposedly a bit of a myth, they do happen, but only in about 50% of pregnant charts and I've definitely had dips on non-pregnant cycles too so I'm not sure that means anything.

Hope your test is more conclusive tomorrow, Grumpy! And remember if you're on the cusp your hCG will be really low which means doubling doesn't add much and it's really slow progress in those early days of faint positives so waiting as long as you possibly can between tests is helpful.

@BertieBotts thank you that's helpful. I won't know af's about to hit until it does then! Oh well.

I'm not using a FRER tomorrow morning as I've run out but I'll re stock during the day tomorrow. I may try another CBFM preg stick but I know they are less sensitive so maybe not much point!

Thanks lisa I know its bonkers I really assumed I would be pregnant by September and then my sending mc due date would have been end Nov which seems like it's fast approaching now.
grumpy I'm sorry it's so confusing, but really I was a massive HT Saturday thinking I was run down because I was pregnant then got my hopes up massively coming back from the shops thinking I was feeling lots of ewcm and no what a div it was in fact my period starting early. So don't worry we are with you.
I had a good day of eating and now resting on the sofa planning my method of attack this month. Period is at least more normal for me so hoping it needed 3 cycles to sort itself out and I can get back into it!

Second, not sending

It's maddening isn't it NoCats?? We got pg month 1 of TTC and then only had 3 cycles between that and pg2 so naively thought it wouldn't take too long even with a few miscarriages Last one was last August!

However I have counted and we're only on cycle 6 (since then) of actually having DTD a decent number of times around ovulation so maybe that has more to do with it. Fingers crossed anyway.

So much going on today! Waves to water, sorry about bfn

Crossing everything for you grumpy and sorry about surprise af nocats. I usually get cramps and back ache as a heads up but had one recently where I was poas in the morning like a HT and then gushing by lunchtime bawling over a hot water bottle. So disappointing.

I'm fucking exhausted. Manic weekend with mega manic DSC but had my b12 jab Monday which usually gives me decent extra energy for a while. I've been sleeping really badly but then crashing hard early evening on the sofa. Really forgetful, appetite lower than normal, totally off wine and anything strong flavoured, strong cramps today while we were out but didn't last long. Sore boobs this evening but they've been a sodding pita for a week pre af the last 3 or 4 cycles so I doubt it means anything. I'm 8dpo and af due in 5 days.

Temping and that new book have been a brilliant distraction the last week. Not really symptom spotting but checking in with stuff I guess...

Keeping everything crossed for a clear bfp for you soon grumpy.

Anne, well done for keeping symptom spotting to a minimum - it's totally ok to keep a check of everything!

Can anyone shed any light on this weirdo af that appears to have reared it's head please? If I counted first day of 2nd mc bleeding as day 1 of my cycle, my "af" pitched up on day 31. Pretty much bang on time bar a couple of days. I had mega symptoms leading up to it - exhausted all week, headaches, breast tenderness, nausea and cramps (all normal since first mc). Then af arrived (warning: tmi) and it's been entirely brown, suggesting it's old blood. It's lasted 2 days and I've just passed the biggest clot I've seen since the mc began, and now nothing. It's completely dried up since passing that clot. Was this in fact, more mc bleeding and not af? Was really hoping my cycle was still fairly normal