We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

That's a relief emvy, best of a bunch of shitty options I guess.

Depending on how you feel I'd get some iron supplements in you and cancel anything you can over the next few days.

I'd expected my last mc to be like a period as was only 5 weeks but it was much heavier and more painful than I'd expected and I was off work two and a half days in the end.

I can relate to what you and conker are saying though about the feelings side of it. When I got the HCG results on the phone that Friday at work I literally doubled over and howled. Could not fucking believe it was happening again! I was angry, shocked, disappointed, gutted, heartbroken. I cried for an hour or so, then slept. Spent the weekend in limbo, and by the time I started bleeding on the Wednesday was pretty much completely fine.

Looking back after the initial happy surprise of the bfp I really didn't enjoy the few days I knew I was pregnant before getting the news. I was stressed and anxious beyond belief. I'm obviously not glad we lost it, but it would have been a relentless stressed and awful pregnancy I think. Hoping we get another BFP very soon, but on balance I'm glad we've had a few months off. We were both battered by it all.

Sending so much love to you both.

A few of us have had reflexology Amy, and I started back again last cycle and really enjoyed it. I looked for a fertility specialist when I was ttc last year, but then got pregnant before the first session and used it as a nice way to relax. Stopped for a bit then started again more for general hormone balancing. It's really good. I was so lucky finding someone who does home visits.

Haven't seen her for a few weeks but I'll give her a ring and book one in. Been spending all my money on driving lessons!

Worth having a session and seeing if you gel with the therapist. I really wish mine was a bit more hippy and woo, but she's very nice

I'm still waiting for gp to call!!! I feel like I've got an infection to top it all (I'm immuncompromised so no surprise there!) - woke up shivery with a temp and v upset tummy!!!! Bleeding still there but just spotting - can't help thinking I'm going to end up needing some help to complete the miscarriage - so would like to start getting some answers! Have messaged my friend who is a midwife at our other local hospital and am thinking about going there as can't face another bad scan at my EPU again!
Glad that scan showed all had mainly passed @emvy! As @anne says best if a bunch of totally shitty options! Make sure you rest up and take such good care of yourself! I am currently watching homes under the hammer and eating chocolate buttons! Small pleasures!!! Xx

Hi guys,

Great to see lots of bfps, hope miami all is well for you too!

Just a quick update, i have found out that i do have a clotting problem (will update specific genes and treatment as an fyi when i calm down!) But it can be treated with asprin and injections next time.

Feeling super shaky as wasnt expecting it but want to encourage others to get investigating if theres even a chance they could have it too xx

Hey mulder, good to see you. Blimey, I can imagine that was a shock.
Factor V? Hope you're okay, take some time to let it sink in.

It's never nice to have anything wrong, but it's such great news it's been diagnosed now and you have a plan for your next pregnancy.

Sending a hug x

God conker, you're a due a break love You must be feeling shit. Good you have another option, it sounds like going to the other hospital will be good for your sanity as well as getting the mc sorted.

I tried medical management and it failed spectacularly. Found the MVA much quicker and they did an internal scan at the end so they assured me all was clear. Wouldn't go for a MVA over an ERPC again, it's quicker but I'd rather be knocked out if I have to do it again. See what they advise and kick off big time if they're not listening okay! xxx

Thanks guys

Anne, thank you for the advice. I do think I need something to replace lost iron - feeling very dizzy, tired and look very pale. Will pick up some iron tablets from the supermarket later. Unfortunately, I have my classes reports to write and data to do. No one else can do that but me and the government date waits for no one. I'm now down 7 reports from my schedule and each takes a minimum of 30 minutes

conker, I'm so sorry you're still no closer to getting answers and are feeling unwell now on top. I really hope the other hospital is more helpful!

mulder, a couple of friends of mine have that. One had 2 mc's, paid privately for tests, and now is onto a third and finally successful pregnancy with the injections. The other friend had it picked up with a medical problem before ttc and so was put on them from day 1 of first pregnancy, which resulted in my beautiful goddaughter! She's now on her second pregnancy and although early, it looks like that one is doing well also. She has lots of extra scans throughout the pregnancy to check viability and development. It's scary and an awful thought but at least you now know what's caused the miscarriages and now should be able to have a successful one.

Thanks for the new thread lime
Af appears to have arrived this afternoon 4 days early!!! (cd23) and approx 8 dpo... Never had a cycle this short before.. Was always 28 days and then post miscarriage it went to 26/ 27 days
emvy thinking of you. Take it easy over the next few days.
Thinking of everyone who is having a tough time atm..

I'm so sorry emvy it's not fair at all is it. I recommend spatone for iron levels, it's really good and not as hard on the digestion as regular iron tablets.

I've been out to see a friend with a new baby today. It was lovely, except that the first thing her mum asked me was when I was expecting the next one! (I will not be wearing this dress again ) When I said I wasn't, she asked how old my DD was (20 months) and then said I should have another soon as the age gap willl get too big otherwise!! I was dumbfounded!!

I wish I had the balls to stand there and say I've put on weight eating during the 3 months of pregnancy I had earlier this year (as it stopped me feeling sick) but unfortunately I lost that baby and haven't been able to get pregnant since!! Why do people think it's ever ok to say these things?

Oh bloody hell tiffin, what is wrong with people?! The things they say just leave me open mouthed! I bet your friend felt super awkward, also! You poor thing. If only people knew!

Thanks for the heads up on iron supplements; where can I get spatone?

Thanks smurf, I hope your af is a quick one and you have more of a typical cycle next month! Sorry for its arrival

I know I was baffled, all I could do was say that we'd like another one and we're trying but it wasn't my decision not to!!

Spatone is at all major supermarkets and boots etc. If you google you'll often find places that have it on offer. It's really good.

tiffin that's just not right.. People shouldn't say things like that and u know sometimes it's because they don't know but still it isn't fair!
Thanks emvy.. I'm trying to be positive.. I have 3 interviews in 3 days next week so best get af out of the way before then.. On the other hand I can't help thinking the last time it was this early was when it was actually a chemical pregnancy (I had 2 positives on digital tests) and bleeding lasted 10 days :-/ luckily I have no tests in the house which I can say is only a good thing as I would be checking to see.

smurf sorry af has arrived, and early too. so crap. Hope you have a nice weekend planned - its looking like glorious weather most places.

tiffin the more i read on peoples reactions and insensitive comments, the more inclined i am to say the truth, the secrecy thing does my head in. some of this stuff that people say without a thought is a throwaway comment for them but has lasting impact for people in our situation. Yes probably if you say actually i did put on weight in the early stages but then i lost the baby. and yes id like a smaller gap but right now its not working out, ok it might be awkward and she might go away feeling a bit shit, but isn't that better, she feels a bit awkward and shit that eve NOT you? And then she always thinks about saying it to someone else?

I posted before but that article in the guardian was so spot on with the whole secrecy bullshit surrounding early pregnancy and then miscarriage and how massively crap miscarriage is.

Sorry I'm having a right old rant!!!

Aw tiffin that's shit!

One thing about miscarriage is it's taught me a few things. I think I'm much more sensitive now. Back in 2014 a friend cancelled a meet up and I joked "you aren't pregnant are you, are you avoiding drinking, hehe" and she said "actually I was and I'm not now". I was so embarrassed! I felt like the biggest bitch. This was back in the days when I didn't think about loss or miscarriage obsessively. I just thought it happened easily and that was it.

Now it's at the back of my mind all the time... and I really try to be sensitive around family and friends.

I think it honestly needs talking about more. I'm so glad my friend told me the truth otherwise I would have continued putting my foot in my mouth for the next few years.

Also... if I ever get pregnant again I've decided I'm gonna keep it quiet for as long as possible.

A) because I don't want to curse it (silly I know)

B) because I don't want to have to Untell people. There are still people in this world that that think I'm 12 weeks pregnant with twins

C) you never know who is in my shoes. Being all excited about a pregnancy is fine, until you tell a mate who is having fertility issues. She's all happy for you til she leaves then cries all the way home (yeah, I've been there)

Other thoughts for today:

Izzy judd (mcfly wife) has a new book out soon about her fertility. She had a miscarriage and has pcos I think. She had Ivf and that's how she conceived. It looks quite uplifting and she talks about how she carried on each month of being disappointed and surviving two week wait etc. Might be worth a look.

I'm freaking about this cyst I have! Is it common after miscarriage? Will it really go after a few months? Will it stop me trying again? Google is not my friend here. I need to go to dr I think as I keep thinking of a million questions.

I'm pretty sure I've just seen some brown spotting today so I reckon af is on her way. Which is annoying in itself in that I never had spotting until this last mc. I went for a run to encourage it but nothing more so will see... when I say run, what I mean is 30mins walk and run of the app couch to 5k. Has anyone else done it? It's pretty good, I'm enjoying being in control of at least one aspect of my body since these 2 miscarriages!! If I can't get pregnant then damn it I'm going to get fit instead!

I tried it Nocats but didn't get far 3 sessions. I got really bad hip pain. I'm not the best runner.

I've just started working with a personal trainer. I know what you mean about being in control! I'm not sure I'm meant to exercise with this cyst though. Need to go to dr to check it out before I get too involved.

Thanks anne and emvy yes factor v, you guys are right though that it's good I know at least.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well, hope the reports are done quickly and hope the iron tablets do their job.

lime don't panic! They're totally normal and as far as I'm aware just random for ladies of child bearing age. Have you got medication for the cyst? If it helps my mate just had an ENORMOUS one burst and she got an infection and she's totally fine now a week later, a bit sore but docs said it's just one of those things. Would be careful of excerising I think tho unless docs say it's ok.

I will defo take a look at the mcfly book thanks for the recc.

conker really sorry to hear this and especially being treated rubbish by the epu

Sorry to hear about the tough times continuing for many of us

Well I woke up to AF this morning, I'm devastated. I wanted this cycle to work so much, it was my first post MC.

Aw squirrel so sorry to hear that. You are right we have hit a rough patch in the thread. I understand your frustration. To get my last pregnancy it took nine months! I don't think I could go that long again... it felt like eternity.

We must be due some good news soon

Yes I agree good news soon for the group would be lovely. squirrel I'm so sorry af turned up, I was hopeful for you too. I hope you have something nice planned today in the sunshine.

Yes indeed, bloody crappy week! Let's hope our luck changes with this lovely weather!

anne, I bought Feroglobin capsules, which I think must be similar to the ones you mentioned. They have folic acid, vitamin b6 and other various vitamins in there too, and are slow release iron and safe in pregnancy (should i ever get there again).

Grumpy, so sorry about arrival of af. Be kind to yourself today x

I have a question for you all. Maybe someone knows. Had a scan this week to check for retained product. All clear! But I've just reread the report and it says "two dominant follicles"!

Does that mean I'm gearing up to pop out two eggs? Is it normal to have two dominant follicles? Or are we meant to just have one? My womb lining is still very thin so no baby this time round. Plus we aren't even trying yet.

The reason I ask is because I lost twins last time and it's left a bad taste in my mouth. If I'm totally honest, I'd rather just one. I clearly don't do twins very well! I'm worried it's going to happen again.

A previous scan lady said I'd be more likely to have twins now as "when ovaries get older they tend to chuck more than one egg out". I'm 33 so hardly ancient!

I also was pregnant with twins the first time around lime and definitely just want the one! Twins are common in my family but unfortunately out of the 4 of us that have had twin pregnancies, every single one of us has mc them. So I get your feeling that you just "don't do twins", and it could be the case! Although you also have to remember that twin pregnancies are automatically higher risk anyway, so it doesn't mean you can't necessarily carry twins successfully.

In terms of that term you mentioned, maybe it just means that both ovaries are geared up to give out mature eggs? Not necessarily at the same time but that they are both capable of giving out eggs? Rather than just one ovary giving out all of the eggs? Maybe? I don't know though, just a thought!

Lime 33 is not old at all! And I'm sorry I have no answer to your question but it is an interesting one... hopefully someone will know the answer.
The temption to test is huge, especially with it being Father's Day tomorrow. But I really think I'm not in with a chance and just need to wait out af and not waste stupid money pissing on FRERs...