We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

@AnneLovesGilbert it's ERPC; same as I had last time. Although last time, I'd lost the baby & they just took out what was left.

Because I got pregnant without a period in between they offered me extra scans. After the 7 weeks one we'd definitely started to relax a bit, it all seemed so positive.

@Juno2002 I've just had my third AF after miscarrying in March, and that was the first normal length cycle. They had gone from 29ish days to 25ish and I'd been having quite a lot of spotting prior to AF proper. I'm hoping that this means they're back to normal now, but either way I think things can just take a few months to settle down. Hope you get back to normal soon.

Do you know when you're booked in yellow and is someone going with you? I'm so so sorry.

My MMC was conceived straight after previous early mc, no AF, so same thing as you. Found out at 12 week scan.

I hope they look after you well and you're taking care of yourself at the moment x

Really sorry about BFN cookie, it would have been so nice to have a BFP before your anniversary. But! There's still time, and you've got a lovely weekend ahead of you. Definitely have a few drinks. Life can't stop because of TTC.

I completely forgot to temp this morning! No idea why, just jumped up and got on with stuff today, so didn't bother after.

Juno, it's a good question. I've been lucky to have cycles come back straight after each mc. I wasn't really checking what day I ovulated but since etc my cycles have gone from 24/25 days to 28 days and now seem to be getting a bit shorted again. For the last 3 cycles I've paid attention and ovd on CD 10, but af hasn't been a steady number of days after, which is a bit confusing when all the literature says your luteal phase stays the same!

Second BFP was after ovulating exactly 10 days after previous early mc started, so I think I probably just ov early and that was my longest pregnancy.

The more I think about it the more it's a naffing mystery.

I found out my oldest friend had her baby on Monday. Weirdly I found out from my Mum, who'd had a round robin email from friend's Mum?! Friend told me she was pregnant by message and I haven't heard he was born. Wasn't sure what to do and don't want to bother her if she's not talking to people yet so I've sent a card and some presents. Shopping for baby things is usually one of my favourite pastimes but it really got to me last night It hurt. We were pregnant at the same time but I'd had my MMC before she was telling people. That baby was due in May. Sometimes my heart aches. She's also been pissing me right off, she asked how things were at one point and I told her about my mc in Feb. She didn't say much and then managed to mention her pregnancy woes and fucking "baby brain" every time I heard from her. But a baby is always lovely news and of course I'm delighted for her. Just desperately sad I don't have any sign of my own baby.

Yes, booked in for early Monday. DH coming with me.

We had intended to wait for AF before trying properly again but I just fell straightaway.
My problem isn't about conceiving but hanging onto them, which the doctor I saw said was the easier bit to sort out of that makes sense? I guess actually getting pregnant can be the biggest battle. She did say she could arrange a consultant gynae appt for me so fingers crossed. Apparently I'll see her again on Monday; she was really nice.

So. Had my ERPC today. Could not fault the surgical staff. However, could not say the same for pre-op nurse:
On dipping pg test in my sample "oh my gosh you're pregnant!" I said yes that's why I'm here. She said "there's a faint line, look look" at which point I broke down in tears.
She then said she wished she could take it into her womb for me. Not sure if she thought I was having a termination?
She then asked me what caused the mc, had I done anything, and gave me advice about eating fruit and veg and not drinking alcohol.
I tried to give her the benefit if the doubt as I don't think English was her first language, but still. I was then stuck with her for another 45 mins while she filled in 2 duplicate booklets and asked me all the history qs twice.
When I left I got my phone and walked out in tears. The receptionist followed me out and got a manager to see me. They gave me a private room and I didn't see that nurse again. They have escalated the complaint, but jeez its so easily avoided!
Then another nurse said "so sorry about what happened, I knew someone was coming in today for this [procedure] but you were so calm and relaxed in the waiting room I didn't realise it was you"
Then they lost the consent form I did yesterday, and the sensitive disposal of remains form, so I had to be talked through all that again.
I was fine all morning. The procedure was fine. It could have all been fine, but now I am emotionally wibbly as well as physically. Ffs.

Just to add, pre op nurse said "only joking" after pg test and laughed

I'm so sorry yellow. The same thing happened to me. We had a scan at 7+5 due to my hyperthyroidism and the heartbeat was wonderful, we were so happy and family we're all looking forward to it. I had a mmc at 10 weeks, and a scan confirmed I would miscarry. I feel like everything was taken from me. But 5 months on, I'm feeling positive and upbeat about TTC again. We will hit a year next month and early September would be my due date. 😢

Sending you massive hugs. Xxxxx

And big hugs and lots of love to everyone who is having a shitty time, esp yellow . Sorry I just wittered on about myself I'm blaming the GA, I'm a bit all over the place. Wish I could

Ah pumbleton, missed your update while I was writing my reply to yellow.

I'm so sorry you had that experience. What an arsehole. I had one bizarre comment too at a scan.. "well there's no sign of a pregnancy" no shit shirlock I miscarried 2 weeks ago. I'm glad you complained and someone came to make sure you're ok.

Sending you massive hugs, I think you're super brave. Xxx

Thank you mouse. Makes you wonder why some people choose the caring profession! I think I'll probably get quite cross about it when I'm over my mellow drugged-up-ness. DH is medical, he's v angry about her asking if I caused it.

Pumbleton, that nurse sounds horrid. Jeez, I just don't get how you can balls the care up so much. I've had my share of odd comments. This really is a process that shouldn't be messed up.

I've been baby bombed tonight. I'm happy for this couple as they have had trouble too BUT the usual jealousy feelings and "when's it my turn" are coming up. Then the guilt for feeling that way. Sigh.

I'm in a really bad mood... is it because I'm fed up of waiting for af OR because af is on the way. Who knows. My husband even said "you must be due on".

I'm so sorry yellow Look after yourself as much as you can.

pumbleton that's pretty atrocious care, you Anna dh have every right to be annoyed.

I'm on 11dpo, I've had spotting since 9dpo, unusual for me, I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up. Think I'll test tomorrow

Really sorry @yellowfrontdoor 💐

@PumbletonWakeshaft I can't even begin to describe how sorry I am that this happened to you. I'm a nurse, in a completely different area and I'm utterly flabbergasted at this nurse and how such a colossal fuck was allowed to happen. I sincerely hope that you recover quickly and easily. My heart genuinely aches for you.

Another shift back at work today to discover a colleague is 20 weeks pregnant, 20!! How did I not know this?! Anyway felt like someone punch me in the stomach and taken the wind out of me.

Tmi but went for a wee earlier and what I can only describes as EWCM literally ran out of me, this is totally new. Usually it's just there on wiping but this was loads! Normal?!

Pumbleton, that is utterly, utterly shit. I really hope the hospital takes that nurse to task. Genuinely cannot believe you were treated so badly. I'm really, really angry on your behalf. So sorry you've had to go through that on top of everything else

Bliss, no idea re: ewcm, soz!

Please don't apologise @PumbletonWakeshaft what a horrible experience, how upsetting for you. I hope they do carry on your complaint.

Your collective anger is making me feel so much better. I've been wondering if maybe it was just me! She was perfectly friendly but just said one truly bizarre thing after another. I found out she was sent home for the day. Eek. Dh is going to ring them on Monday.

Today is a good day to get angry folks. Let it all out!!

Sorry to read some of the stories about people's experiences. I thankfully had nothing in comparison to these but was shocked at the general lack of care throughout the whole thing.

I'm 5 weeks post mc and still have moments of finding it tough. The complete fog feels like it has lifted but I'm still not right. I had a bit of a moment at work last week and ended telling our headteacher what had happened - she was lovely about it. I asked her not to tell anyone though.

I'm managing ok at work, I like being busy. I've completely cut myself off from social things though. A couple of close friends know but that's it. I have avoided anything with friends who don't know as I can't cope with idle chit chat which often ends up being about people's relationships and families. I have a week away planned with some friends later this month and I really don't want to go. I've tried to say I can't go but that's not really an option.

DP and I have decided to wait until next cycle to try due to our holiday as I'm too scared of it happening again and don't want to be away. But there is part of me that just wants to be pregnant again - I guess it feels like that would take this pain away.

@voxnihili I knew that the only thing that would make me happy again was being pregnant. And it was. And now I'm not. Definitely having a 'so what the fuck now?' moment.
I feel like I want to go on holiday, jack in my job, bollocks to the mortgage.
I'm hoping after Monday I find some clarity!

Oh yellow I'm so sorry to see you on here again. I was exactly the same as you. Pg again after mc with no af then heartbeat seen at first scan at 7 weeks then nothing at the 10 week scan. It really knocked me. I didn't think I'd be that unlucky. I think booking a holiday or something would be a great idea, that's what we did, something to look forward to later on in the year.

To give you all a hopefully positive story a close friend of mine has had 6 miscarriages and recently her 7th pregnancy she has made it to the 12 week mark. I know she's not out of the woods but there is hope - it can be done. She'd never made it there before...

Well, I bawled my eyes out to DH last night, had brown spotting which is usual sign AF on the way. We had a pretty good heart to heart, and ready to do a little bit of investigations, we have always said wouldn't do IVF, and I still think that, but am just worried the MC was our only chance, and we won't get preg again...
pumbleton I can't believe how the nurse spoke to you-that's awful. When I went to EPU, then for my ERPC everyone was truly lovely, I didn't have to have a preg test preop-that seems INCREDIBLY insensitive
I hope your recovery from surgery is quick

I too had a cry yesterday. I am sick of all the waiting. I would feel so much better if my cycle would just come back.

When I thought of miscarriage I had no idea that it meant writing off whole massive chunks of the year. Waiting.

I am so over it now. It's just another cruel trick my my body.

This group needs a little bit of good news. It won't be for me for a while but I tell you, if it were a choice between winning the lotto or getting my af, I would pick af right now

I know lime I was just thinking we need some good news! My af finished up but having weird spotting now ergh!

I agree lime we definitely need some good news soon!!!
I'm on Cd23 today so cycle is longer than last time by a day and hopefully back to a regular 26days cycle at least..past few days I've been teary, tired and easily annoyed which is probably sign af is on the way although it's not like me! My friend posted this photo today she's due her rainbow baby now in January.. Photo made me cry again!!! Need to stop