We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

@AnneLovesGilbert
Hi Anne thank you for the thoughts.

Well nothing exciting happened- I went to Boots to get lunch and the FR tests I found were 10 quid for two!

I'm too tight to pay that amount!

Anyhow, got home and did 2 cheapie tests both of which were negative.

Am on CD28 and will be technically be late if I don't get AF on Friday.
I'm sure I will be got by AF before then!

Crossing everything for you, you never know, wishing af stays away for you turquoise x

@AnneLovesGilbert
Thank you, lets hope so

I did temping at the end of last summer, just when we were getting info the swing of TTC

Temping was good, in the sense that I could see a temperature rise after presumed ovulation so I kind of found it reassuring that things seemed to be working ok.

I gave up after a couple of months as I couldn't really be arsed taking my temperature every single morning at the same time.

Plus we were trying to DTD every other day during the fertile week- so whichever day I ovulated, there was a "good" chance of conception.

I think that's the best approach turquoise. Keeps you topped up for whenever it happens.

I've just bought my first ever car! Torn between panic and excitement. I'm 34... Still no licence but ok working on it.

Should this naffing baby ever make an appearance I can pop it safely in my new wheels. Focussing on the good things today.

I'll see how the temping goes. I have quite clear ov symptoms with ewcm and stabbing pains but using temping as another way of confirming it. We dtd the same frequency throughout the month so less about timing it and more about confirming what I think is going on. If that makes sense.

Happy anniversary smurf! Hope you've had a good day and the cooking class goes well.

Congrats on the car Anne! That is good news.

Fx turquoise- hope that AF stays away and you get that BFP! it is hard- sometimes being on these sites makes it feel like you're focusing on it even more, but then it is nice to be able to talk to other people who really understand - as so many others don't. My friend at work spent her lunch time talking about her friend who is struggling to get pregnant again- she was saying she's young, fit and healthy so she should just get pregnant- inside I was screaming it's not that easy!. So many women, struggling with different issues.

I am feeling a lot more chilled this month about everything. We go on holiday next week- it'll be just after ovulation- would you all have a drink? I don't mean masses, but I would love to, but then I know if we fell and I miscarried again, I'd blame the alcohol! Also know there is a good chance we won't even fall!

Go for it starshine If this is your month, and fx, then the baby is living of the egg for a while anyway and won't neee you in tip top shape till at least after you get back.

Thank you! I'm quite excited. It's about 6th hand, 12 years old and I found it on auto trader! A little banger to run around and practice in.

How long till your holiday? We had the best time a month ago, ate, drank, slept, read, chatted, lay around and did nothing. It was lovely.

Congrats on the car anne That's exciting!

@TurquoiseDress I hope AF stays away and you get a BFP. I think the worst bit is the limbo before you get a positive/a BFP.

@Starshine1 I'd have a drink or two. We were away earlier this month, in the tww, and I had a few drinks just because I felt like denying myself and then AF coming would just be doubly awful. Also I knew AF was going to show, and I was right. Have a lovely relaxing holiday whatever you decide to do.

Thanks ladies- we are off to Cornwall on Saturday. Just got a peak on my opk so def DTD tonight and tomorrow! Think you're right Anne and unicorn, I will have a couple, weird, knowing that others would too, makes it seem allowed.

Enjoy getting used to the car Anne- getting your liscence will be something positive to focus on!

So, if I have a normal length cycle (25 days) I'd be due AF Tuesday. Because I ovulated CD12 this month, as opposed to Cd15/16, FF is estimated it's appearance on friday (10dpo, making it ANOTHER 21 day cycle) based on my recent shit LP. I'm HOPING that it is going to be a longer LP as I have been taking B complex, but we'll see. Temp dropped a little this am, so FF is prob right and AF is on it's way. I'm having progesterone bloods done friday too. I wonder if it matters if its CD1 rather than CD22!?

It's our wedding anniversary this weekend though, and we are going away, so I am going to do what I have NEVER done, and do a preg test friday if AF hasn't shown up (will be 10dpo) When it's negative, then I'll not feel so bad about drinking over the weekend.

I'm flipping back and forward between being a HT and thinking that maybe I am pregnant (peeing every 2 hours the last couple of days, including waking up in the night, boobs a little sore) and knowing there is no hope... Gah! Life was so much easier before the MC.

Cornwall will be gorgeous Starshine, it's such a beautiful place. Get on it before you go!

How was your anniversary Smurf? Hope you had a fab night and made some lovely food.

Those are very promising symptoms cookie, there is ALWAYS hope x
I don't know about the bloods, worth calling your GP surgery to ask? Nothing wrong with being a HT and you have your anniversary to look forward to, either to forget about baby stuff and have a few drinks, or to celebrate. I've never had a BFP at 10dpo but a lot of people do!

I got 36.23 temp this morning, which is a rise on yesterday and I'm sure I ovd last night, had a decent stabbing in righty and loads of ewcm. After the warning from FF yesterday I thought I'd see if it was any different up the fanjo and it was 36.44. I doubled checked and it was 36.43, so basically the same. Anyone else had that? Once I'd got over the slight weirdness of the idea of doing it that way it was fine! And obviously more reliable.

Thanks everyone for the lovely anniversary messages well turns out my husband and I both had similar ideas of planning something for last night.. His won which meant the cooking class got put on hold (they were incredibly kind though and said they would change the date for us so we will go on Friday to it instead)
Husband had booked a surprise night away with dinner in the hotel we got married in so we had a lovely evening away and even shared a bottle of wine - i figured it is too early to even think about a positive test and for once I was just going to relax about it all and just enjoy our night of just us!! It was great to get away!
Congratulations on the car anne!! Hope you enjoy driving it
Cookie think I'm at a similar point to you! Currently on cd20 normal cycles would have agreed arrive on Tuesday but from last cycle it arrived on cd22 so possibly Friday.. I'm sure they can still take bloods anyway but could be worth talking to them about it even if it does end up being cd1 as maybe they will decide to do bloods at cd20 or earlier if you don't get to cd22? Fingers crossed for you for Friday!
Haven't read though all the posts properly yet so I've probably missed some still but will read more later.. For now I have to get ready for a job interview.. Eek!
Hope everyone has a good day!!

Oh my god smurf, that's lovely! So glad you had a brilliant night, you so deserve it and DH sounds like an absolute love. Two special nights! Friday will be awesome.

Thank you! I've been ignoring the work I should be doing and sorting tax and insurance. Feels very grown up....

I'm a divorced, remarried, home owning, professional, stepmother, in her mid 30s, and taxing a car makes me feel proper adult

Aagghh just lost my long post! Buggeration.

I wanted to say thank you blissful for the kind thoughts. I hope going back to work will give you a useful distraction.

I'm getting concerned about my mental health now. I'm not sleeping, I'm eating crap amd spending most days on the sofa. I'm avoiding baby groups as I don't want to talk to other mums. I'm also getting increasingly jealous of friends who had ds1 when I did and now have or are shortly having a second I also really felt it when Andy Murray's announcement came out. Ds seems happy enough but I'm not a good mummy right now. Hope I can start to move forward after 2nd scan tomorrow.

Sorry you're having such a tough time Pumbleton , it sounds really difficult. Sending you a big hug, hope that's okay.

Is there any little thing that makes you feel any better? I know it's a cliche, but maybe a long soak when DS is in bed? Getting a hair cut or something that'll make you feel nice?

In the aftermath of my MMC I watched a lot of very loud shooty action films, not my normal cup of tea at all! But I needed to be surrounded by noise and no bloody emotions. I also took a lot of vitamins and got into making smoothies - super easy, fast, cheap and I felt like I was filling myself with health giving nutrients. I went off everything so having a decent meal/drink a day made me feel like I was looking after myself and getting my strength back.

@PumbletonWakeshaft I really just want to give you a huge hug. It's such a shit existence waiting for the unknown. I hated it so much. There wasn't anything that helped to settle me. I ate shit, didn't sleep, sat in bed or on the sofa having my mother and mother in law over looking at me with sad eyes but trying to keep my hopes up. It was the worst!

I'd echo what @AnneLovesGilbert says and maybe treat yourself or watch something. I've been baby bombed recently too and I felt a physical ache. Also crap.

Work was alright I'm not in again til Friday which is nice. I went back to training again today which felt good! I let me frustrations out.

Yesterday was supposed to be my booking appointment, I ended up going to lunch with a friend and her newborn which I actually really enjoyed.

You will be alright whatever happens @PumbletonWakeshaft us women are made of strong stuff. ❤️

Not sure what the bold fail is all about?!

Thank you so much anne and blissful. It is helping me to read your stories and feel like I'm not alone, or crazy! Dh keeps telling me to focus on ds1 and what we have but it's just not enough to snap out of it, esp when I'm still carrying our little one.

I hear what you are saying about vitamins - I'm going to try eating eggs each day to get better nutrients in. I also just made a hair appointment for next week. Funny what you said about action films - I've become hooked on a programme called Say Yes to the Dress it's a ridiculous reality show about wedding dresses but it's pure escapism! And I don't even like weddings

Love say yes @PumbletonWakeshaft no shame here 🙌🏻

Maybe I should add it to the m/c tips thread @blissful! Say Yes and Cake Wars: the ultimate in daytime distraction TV...

Pumbleton I could have written that myself. I feel like I'm in a fog half the time. I've also found myself avoiding baby groups or anything that I take DD to alone where I might have to talk to other mums. I'm due to go back to work next week though having massive anxiety about it. As I was almost halfway through the pregnancy, everyone there knew and I can't face that many people looking at me with sad eyes. I only have a week and a half until summer holidays and I am leaving to be a SAHM anyway so a massive part of me thinks it's not worth it anyway.

I agree with other posters, find something that you enjoy and do it. I've found myself spending ridiculous amounts of money shopping as it's a great distraction, if I can avoid the baby section. Not easy with a small sized 15 month old.

I've been reading through all the posts and updates. Nothing to add really about ttc but hoping that some of you get the BFPs you've been waiting for this month. Fingers crossed for everyone.

pumbleton I so get what you're saying. Out of a close group of 8 of us girls I have the oldest and youngest children because my body would just not play ball to give me a second child easily. It wasn't mc so not entirely what you're going through but still I know what you mean. It's so hard...

So I'm on cd16 and I'm not sure if I've ov yet. No ewcm that I can notice or any ov pain. I also haven't had a positive on my cheap ics yet... I had a random day I think of ewcm last week, but no I'm doubting myself. Ovia is saying my fertile window strays now which feels late for me. Maybe I'm still a bit messed up after the mmc. I might start temping too to get a better idea of things as anne you have made it sound not too scary! I'm worried now I'm not even ovulating!

Hey turquoise nice to see you on here again!

Pumbleton,Summerfruits, so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Hand hold and big hug from me. Hope it starts to get better soon.

Summerfruits, is there any way you could just not go back? Would the doctor sign you off for longer?

I'm sorry to add to the mood but I'm feeling so down today and could really do with a hand hold if that's ok? I was feeling quite positive going through all these tests because I figured they would either find something or not find something. But at least it's all been checked.

Due to my previous frustration with the NHS, I booked a private scan to check all is well for Friday this week. Thought that would be the best time as I'm due on Sunday so should give me an idea of whether my womb lining is thickening enough to sustain a pregnancy. Only STUPID AF HAS TURNED UP TODAY. On day 24. I have a pretty regular 28 day cycle normally. So now I have to cancel the scan, rearrange, and presumably wait ANOTHER month to try for a baby again.

And, ironically, my scan appointment for the NHS turned up. For a pelvic and kidney examination. Next week. What on earth are my kidneys going to tell me about my miscarriages?! If they are implanting there, we're in a whole world of trouble.

I've also gone a bit nuts and started convincing myself I'm going through the menopause because of this random short cycle length. Apparently at 40 that would be early but not impossible. And I imagine that would definitely scupper having another baby.

My Mum, who I love to pieces but is brilliant at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, keeps telling me to 'focus on the child I've got'. It really upsets me. It implies that I'm somehow neglecting the child I do have. I'm not. I love her to pieces. I don't love her any less because I want another child.

Could do with a really good cry. But I'm at work and I go all pink and puffy when I cry so can't even sneak of to the loos because everyone would know. Going to have to hold it in until I get in the car to go home.

Rant over. Sorry everyone.

Summer fruits and pumbleton! I think they're completely natural reactions! Pumbleton- don't think you're a bad mum- I am sure you're a great mum, just going through a really tough time! I've now had four miscarriages in the last two years and everyone of my friends has had there 2nd out of our group. After the second mc in a row I was open with close friends and work colleagues and that has really helped. It will get easier, but I still have days where I just can't face it- and I know sometimes I purposely see friends with older children.

Yes summerfruits- couldn't you get signed off?

Stepaway- rant away! Perfect place and you def need too! How frustrating about the scan!! I have shorter cycles too and constantly worry/Google scare myself! Have you thought about getting tested? Think I am going to give it another couple of months and then get my egg quality tested! Don't really want to know the answer though if it's not good!

Wow smurf! What a lovely anniversary surprise! Glad you were spoilt!

Hugs and handholds to everyone who's having a shit day. It's ok to let it all out here. I've had an ok day but sometimes on the really tough ones it can seem so lonely and very few people really get it.

@PumbletonWakeshaft I hope the scan tomorrow helps. Do what you need to right now to get through this patch. A few days of crap tv etc might be what you need to get you through.

@summerfruitsquash To echo what stepaway said, do you actually have to go back?

@StepAwayFromGoogle I'm so sorry about AF. And NHS rubbishness. A kidney scan sounds completely bizarre

I think I'm into the tww now. Got about a week before I start obsessing about symptoms. That'll be fun...

Thank you, Starshine and unicorn.

I've had my FSH and LH levels checked, starshine. Just waiting for my results to come through. I'm scared they won't be good but at least then I'll know.

I think I just got the fear earlier. Every so often I worry that it just isn't going to happen for me and I panic. The longer the tests drag on and the older I get, the further away it seems. I think the reason my Mum's comments upset me so much is because I know she's trying to comfort me if I can't have another one. And I really, really want another one. At the same time, I'm not sure I could get through another miscarriage. Oh, I don't know, it's such a jumble of emotions. AF probably not helping, to be fair.

I am feeling a bit better now. Industrial amounts of chocolate and a cup of tea have helped. Hopefully a good sleep will knock it on the head...