We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Sorry you're having an odd cycle lulu. I actually had super bad back ache my second af after my mmc - I've never had it before! I guess things can change in the body after going through so many hormonal changes in such a short space of time. That's not medical, that's me giving reasons to make myself not freak out!

I've now thankfully stopped bleeding again after another 4 day frenzy. Not counting it as af but sticking notes in the app so if af is "late" I can then go back and count from the second lot of bleeding and not test too early and get a bfn. Head is all over the place. A weekend with my pregnant friend who is pregnant with no.2 and at the point I would have been if I'd not had my second mc, and has a gorgeous 11 month old toddling around the house being super lush, has meant I've been full on immersed in babyhood and feel like I need a bit of an escape now.

Hope everyone is managing to enjoy the weekend, af's are keeping at bay at bfp's are all on their way!

Sorry to hear everything youre going through emvy . What a terrible time. It's now time to brush everything off, get that positive hat on and try again. I'm trying my hardest to go back to basics. No fancy supplements (I'm sure they're doing more harm than good), no OPKS and no APPS. Just regular dtd and a healthy lifestyle. Easier said than done though!

I'm fed up of all these baby related weekends. I've got a first birthday party next weekend! I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing!

Roll on the BFPS!!!

@emvy I've had a similar weekend with pregnant ladies or newborns. Not taking it so well today.

It's just this ache in my heart that won't go, I really hope it gets easier in time. I'm back at work tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I'm not sure that anyone apart from the managers know. And I've been off for a while which is very unlike me! So people are bound to ask questions. I dont want to have a melt down in front of my colleagues. Fingers crossed I can keep it together. I'm desperate to get some routine back.

My IC was almost negative this morning I mean you had to hold it up to a light to see it. So I'm taking that as an all clear.

I hope you feel better soon @Luluringo, DH and I have decided to not use apps opks or temps until I get a bleed. It's much easier said than done you are right.

On the supplements front I thought I'd give my 2p, I'm taking folic acid that cost about 90p for 100 tablets. When I was pregnant I took a pregnancy multivitamin that was £2 for 30, from my local supermarket.

I believe vitamins are the same as other manufactured drugs in the respect that the 19p ibuprofen is the same as the £3.99 nurofen tablets. Nothing different in them than the price.
I'm not sure that taking vitamins has changed my cycles for me but I've heard similar about pregnacare. Personally I'm happy with my cheap ones.

@blissfulignorance I'm sorry to hear your having a bad time. I know how you feel about going back to work. I told everyone, apart from managers, I had bad headaches. When I got back I was getting advice for weeks about how to manage them! Little did they know id had a MC. People can be so nice but what I've learnt from this experience is , unless people are open about absence, then don't ask!

I had my MC in March and I'm still struggling. I desperately want to get pregnant but I feel the desperation is getting in the way! I got pregnant first mo the trying last time and time before was unplanned!

You're right about the multivitaminsame being the same. I'm just not sold that we need them. I get the folic acid is important but I think I have a healthy enough diet to not need all the rest. Will see if it makes any difference this month. I'm convinced this seven seas has altered this cycle though! I only bought it as they were out of pregnacare! Wish I hadn't!

@Luluringo hopefully the team I work with will have the same attitude and wait to be told.

Unfortunately I wasn't as lucky, this pregnancy took a year to get for us, we had started tests and got lucky. Fingers crossed I don't have to wait another year!

@blissfulignorance I'm so sorry that you lost this pregnancy after all that time but let's hope your body has now prepared itself for pregnancy and the next one will be sticky.

From what I've read, it seems no two pregnancies are the same. My mum took a year to concieve me and then quite a few months to concieve after me. Unfortunately she had a MC but concieved my brother straight after. Although the 'more fertile after MC' didn't work for me, it certainly did for her!

Have you had any results from your tests?

I know what you all mean about trying to stay relaxed. With my ds2 it took almost 18 months to conceive him and I became a nut job and it took all the fun out of sex. This time because my OH wasn't too sure about having a 3rd we were supposed to be not trying but obviously I was keeping a quiet eye on when might be a better time to dtd as having two children already we don't get as much time for that as before...!! anyway it was a miracle I felt that we seemed to fall pregnant so easily not even that near I didn't think to my fertile window, and then to lose it was so crap but then I fell gain straight away but then sadly lost that one and now I can feel myself becoming that nut job again peeing on opk morning and evening and tracking everything whilst still trying to remain not that bothered in front of my OH.

@Luluringo my bloods came back normal. DH had an SA which came back inconclusive he was booked in for another but the waiting list was 8 weeks in which time we'd conceived so he cancelled it.

I was starting to go nuts too @NoCatsHere and oddly enough the month we conceived DH was away on business on what I thought was my fertile week so we had written it off! It was quite a shock to get that positive.

@blissfulignorance at least you now know you can concieve.

I think the only way to stay relaxed @nocatshere is to not look at any ovaluation windows....ever. Really, when you think about it, there isn't any rush. It will happen when it happens. Patience is virtue...I just wish I had it!

Ah lulu I wish I could do relaxed but age/time is not on my side I don't think. So like I said with the little dtd we actually do at the best of times I feel if I don't at least have a small idea of where the ov window might be we'll never get there!

I'm being a total HT right now. I'm 6dpo and have slightly sore boobs. Also my cervix went really low and firm about 2-3 dpo, but is now higher again.
It's ridiculous, there is no way I've caught this month, we only managed to DTD once. I ovulated CD12, which is the earliest I have for ages, so maybe the Vit B complex has helped. But fertility friend has decided I'm going to have a 21 day cycle as my LP was only 9 days last month. I'm hoping the b complex will make that longer, rather than just early ovulation. We're going away for our anniversary this weekend too, so it would be nice if period could stay away until it's due (for a 25 day cycle) next tuesday!

Oh bliss I want to give you a massive hug. I had 3 weeks off work and at first my managers were the one ones that knew. A few people asked and I was honest and I eventually told my immediate team. I've been very open about it. I've found it's made people much more open with me and understanding. I'm a designer and part of my job does touch baby related things but since my MMC work have been understanding and moved that type of work to the other designers. It's been weirdly ok to talk about my experience. And the more I talk about it, the less I feel like I'm about to explode into tears. The overwhelming ache in my chest has become more of a dull reminder.

I really hope you catch quickly and continue to have a sticky healthy uneventful pregnancy. Xxx

Talking of baby weekends.... just been to see friends who have just had a baby boy. So happy for them but it's still so hard.

Going to start on the folic acid again today, pregnacare made me really nauseous too!

Wishing the best for us all this week!

I hope it's ok if I post on the thread - I've been here before and remember a few of you and how kind you were then. I've had three miscarriages back to back - two at five weeks in February and April and then one at seven weeks about three weeks ago. I was hoping I'd be feeling a bit better by now but actually I'm feeling worse each day. Anyway, what I wanted to ask about - and what I thought some of you might have some good advice on, if that's ok - is how to deal with not TTCing? We're waiting for our appointment with the consultant for recurrent miscarriage and have been told not to try in the meantime. I'm not sure of exact timescales but I think it could be autumn before all tests are back. I'm finding that such a hard thought, especially as I know how high the odds of them not being able to find anything are. As you can see from my dates each time I've conceived next cycle after a miscarriage - it took me seven months to fall the first time, so for me there seems to be some truth in the idea that you're more fertile after a miscarriage (I know that it doesn't work that way for many/most women) and I'm worried about not falling again after this. I've been trying to think of it as mental recovery time but it's just making me more obsessive. I want to be pregnant again so very badly. Apologies for the long and slightly off-topic post, but I was wondering whether anyone had been through something similar?

Hi, sorry all, I find I need to step away from the boards during period week at the moment. Cycle day 8 today and bleeding finished so able to look ahead again. Unfortunately DH has hurt both his feet (possibly fractured one!) So not sure how much we'll manage this month but you have to laugh.

Someone asked about fertility friend vip, you don't lose anything, vip just adds extra features like being able to compare your charts with others and some gimmicky calculators, I don't think it's worth it bit its not that expensive if you do decide to pay. You keep all the data even if you go back to a free account so don't worry.

Hello ladies, please can I join you? I'd put off joining this thread because I hoped that I'd get a bfp again really easily after mc, but now feeling like I need some help to keep me sane!

I had a mmc which started on 13th May when I was nearly 12 weeks although baby stopped developing at approx 5 weeks (would love someone to explain why my body held on to it for so long after). Hospital were keen for it to all happen naturally, so took nearly 3 weeks until sac passed on 1st June. Had bleeding for a few days after, but none since.

I started tracking with CB digital, mainly because I thought that if it told me I was ovulating it would be a sign of everything getting back to normal. What it's actually done is get my hopes up. Had a smiley on 17th June, which would mean I'm now 16 dpo. Before mc, my cycles were 29 days, so I was expecting AF on Saturday. She hasn't shown yet, but all tests have been bfn.

Driving myself mad because I just want everything to go back to normal. Am worried that because it took 3 months to get AF after coming off the pill, the miscarriage will have a similar effect.

Sorry, that was me just spewing my consciousness onto the page. Didn't mean it to be so long

So sorry for your losses Lisa, you've been through so much.

Looking at it as mental recovery time is good, but it might be easier if you had something specific to focus on instead. Is there something you can throw yourself into? Exercise? Making something? Cooking something new twice a week? Going to theatre/comedy/gigs? Everyone is different and I'm not at all suggesting that taking up jogging or crochet will heal the pain of multiple losses or the shitty limbo of waiting to TTC again. But what's helped keep me sane while TTC again, is having other stuff to think about as much as possible. We're seeing friends a lot more, having people over, booking tickets to things, doing jobs in the house. Sometimes we book things then wish we hadn't as we'd rather watch netflix and sit on the sofa! But planning is good and I find it a good distraction.

Hey Bertie, sorry about AF How are you doing? God, your poor DH! Has he been to the hospital?

I'm temping having found your advice on it really useful, thank you. Also got fertility friend. Not sure I've got the hang of it (how hard can it be?) because having started on CD 2, I've had quite big increases each day and then today it fell off a cliff. FF is putting them as circles rather than dots as it doesn't seem to believe it either! I'm CD9 and for the last 3 or 4 cycles I've ovd on CD10.

Thanks so much for your kind message, Anne. I think that's really good advice - I am trying to start running (also in the hope it'll help balance my emotions out a bit), so maybe I can see that as my project. Ideally I'd also like to lose some weight before TTC again, as I'm right on the healthy/overweight borderline and so could stand to lose a little.

A big temp dip the day before ovulation is normal, by the way - that was never my pattern, but I know a lot women do find that. It's quite nice if you do get it because then you have an extra ovulation warning sign!

The awe inspiring lot on here told me about Couch to 5k, and I did a whole one session! Was super proud of myself and resolved to keep at it but then just didn't.... I bought a decent sports bra and some trainers off amazon and I can feel them looking at me with disappointment! Maybe we can inspire each other. I'm also getting a bit bored of DH claiming he needs to lose a few lbs then starting most nights with crisps, nuts and a glass of wine, so I'll be dragging him with me!

I'm the same as you, I'm much heavier than I look so while I'm happy in my clothes and feel okay, I'd be happier half a stone lighter, I'd lose some of my extra neck and cheek chub and feel better about myself at my next booking appointment, whenever the hell that might be!

Thanks for the tip on temping. I'm completely clueless! I was hoping it would be another way of confirming when I think I ovulate, so with a new normal of CD 10, it makes sense if today's temp dip is right. FF expects me to ov later in the week so that might be why it doesn't like the look of my numbers!

Does it matter if I wake in the night? If I go to sleep at 11:30, wake at 4, go back to sleep again and then wake and get up at 7:30, should I take my temp at 7:30, and will it be affected by the 4am wake up?

I'm reading all the FF emails but it's baffling.

Also, and sorry if this is gross, when you're checking cm, which I've done for a while, how do you think having DTD the night before affects what it feels like?

(can you tell it's Monday morning, I'm bored at work, and starting to freak out again....?)

anne not gross I know what you mean and actually I don't have an answer!
And you're right the couch to 5km is what I need to get back into, I really enjoyed it and got to week 3 but have slacked off and am inspired to go again tonight when OH gets back from work.

And welcome spring sounds like your body is still adjusting. Mine got back to normal really quickly after the first mc but after this mmc it's very different. Cycles are longer, ov is later and I get spotting before af which I've never had. I'm hoping that now I'm on cycle 3 they are beginning to change back to normal so maybe that's what's happening for you?

I actually did day 1 week 1 of Couch to 5k this morning! I used to run regularishly a few years ago, but am totally out of shape and needed to start again from scratch. Could definitely do with some extra encouragement!

I think you're supposed to temp after your longest sleep, so I guess really you should do it at 4am(!), but I don't think it'll throw things out enough to obscure your pattern. When I'd had a really disturbed night I often found my temperature was a bit higher than normal that day.

And yes, I know exactly what you mean about CM - can trick you into thinking it's fertile! I think it might mess it up in the morning but it should be ok by later in the day?

I need to lose a bit of weight. I've hired a personal trainer and about to do third session tomorrow. It's been a fabulous distraction. I've lost 4.5 pounds since day 1. I feel much better in myself. During my short lived pregnancy I was very poorly. Partly as it was twins but I can't help but think my body knew it wasn't going right. I was pale and very very cold and just looked very unwell even before bleeding started (my successful pregnancy was the total opposite).

I'm 6 weeks post surgical management this week. My ewcm has gone and I think I'm getting pre period type cm. I keep feeling the odd twinge too. Come on! Come on af, I'm ready and waiting!

I need to start getting friendly with my temp and CM I think now! It's interesting finding out about these things and I trust you lovely ladies more than I do google etc, real honest experiences. AF just has a couple more days to go then back to it.

So sorry to see the new joiners on the thread but you are in good hands here everyone has been so kind and understanding in the short time I've been here it really does feel like you are among friends

Oh lime :( it's like your body saying something isn't right already. I had bad cramps and sickness every night too which my mum said she never had with me (I know everyone is different but I still wonder the same).

I'll do the AF dance for you to bring it on lime!